Johnny murders again in this chapter. He just won't stop! Sometimes, I feel like I don't need to explain since I think the title "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac" speaks for itself, but I still feel inclined lest any wild Karens are out there, you know...

This fic is wholesome, sure, but it's dark and full of satire too.

So eff off, Karens of the wild, we don't need your bullshit around here!

Also, more violence towards elderly citizens.

You have been warned.

The ice cream truck drove down the street, ringing a merry little tune, and the sight of all those happy little children running after it pleased Nny. But he was just psyched at the prospect of having some ice cream since he was a big kid himself, and it was a hot day.

Just as he'd promised Molly, he would get her ice cream for calling her great-grandma a bitch. The old lady woke up in the end after all and what a shame...

Nny had hoped she would die in her sleep. She was just lucky to be related to Molly or he would have given her his special attention.

It may seem callous hurting a harmless old lady, but she was far from harmless. To Nny, she was no different to those assholes at Café le Prick who laughed at his clothes. The only difference between her and those people was appearances; she appeared to be innocent because of her wrinkly façade, but she was a miserable, wretched bat who didn't deserve such a long life.

Molly told him she was a hundred and one years old, and she truly was an antique. She was born during Victorian times. People still rode horse-drawn carriages back when Grandma Aoife was in diapers.

If only some homicidal person had taken her life years ago. The world would be a happier place. But then she wouldn't have given birth to her daughter, who in turn never would have birthed Molly's Mom, and then Molly herself never would have been born.

To live in a world where Molly didn't exist? Nny couldn't even stomach it. She was the very sun that lit up his sky. Without her kind soul, the world would plunge into darkness, and life wouldn't be worth living.

The child in question waited on the sidewalk beside him, jumping up and down with excitement. "Ice cream, ice cream, ice cream!"

Nny chuckled. "Someone's excited."

"Yes, because I love ice cream! Whoo!"

She kept bouncing on the spot, and Nny was a little concerned for her sanity. Was she okay? Were there springs under her shoes or something? A firework up her rectum?

Darn, he would be lying to himself if he didn't find her cute. Such a happy, go-lucky child. It pleased him.

If only all kids could be as happy as her.

Some were just as rotten as adults. His childhood was still blurry, but he could still hear the faint taunts of "Noodle Boy" in the dark recesses of his mind as he shivered.

Hopefully, the kids at Molly's new school wouldn't be so mean to her.

A swarm of children rushed to the truck, and Nny and Molly waited patiently near the back. They should have jumped the line, but Nny wasn't in the mood to push in front of a bunch of kids.

He would be a decent human being and wait. Plus, he had to be a good role model for Molly.

He just wished it weren't so fucking hot. Stupid sun, stupid summer...

Nny worried that Molly would burn while they waited for ice cream. She had her mother's Irish complexion, so she had to be careful.

He drummed his fingers together. "You're... you're not too hot, are you, Molly?"

She peered up, pursing her mouth. "Nope. I feel fine."

"But... you don't feel as if you'll combust into flames, do you? You're much fairer than I am, after all. You need to be careful."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, NNY. Stop worrying. My Mommy put some sun lotion on me this morning."

Nny leaned down to check. Oh, so that's what that white splodge on her nose was? He thought it was bird shit or something, but he was too kind to ask.

"Oh, I see. All right. But just in case..."

He stood above her, making sure the sun cast his skinny shadow over her. He even spread his jacket like a pair of bat wings, and she sighed, shaking her head.

Well, he had to take care of his little Molly. The universe depended on it after all.

Next time, he will just get her a parasol. Or one of those wide-brimmed hats.

Finally, it was their turn in line. Before they reached the truck, they were faced with a vicious pair of female twins.

Nny shivered. Ugh, twins. So freaky...

As if one person wasn't bad enough to deal with, you get two of them, and they truly were deceiving.

In Nny's eyes, all twins were evil.

"What are you looking at, freak?" one of them sneered at Molly.

Molly stuttered, stepping closer to Nny. "I... I wasn't looking..."

The other twin laughed and pointed at her nose. "Ha, she has bird doodie on her nose!"

They cackled at Molly now, and the little girl hung her head. A tear dripped from her eye. It made Nny's heart hurt to see her cry at the hands of those bullies.

So sensitive, but Nny would be lying if he said a mean insult or two hadn't caused him to cry in the past. He'd murdered hundreds just because humanity saw fit to laugh at his bizarre appearance.

Yet, it would have been nice if just one person had stood up for him. Just one, and Nny may not have felt so alone in the world; he may have even spared one or two lives, or a hundred...

But people simply don't care. Your suffering doesn't concern them after all, so why bother getting involved?

Well, Nny would stick up for Molly. He wouldn't let her face the bullies alone.

Outcasts had to stick together after all.

"Hey, you leave her alone. It's not bird doodie, you worthless wretch. It's sun lotion."

The twins snarled at him now, as if he had grown an extra three heads. Then they giggled, pointing at his hair, and Nny's eye twitched.

They're just children, he told himself. They get away with it because their brains have yet to develop, but God if he wasn't tempted to bash their skulls together.

He wondered if their insides were as identical as their outsides...

"Look at the funny man!"

"He's wacky-looking!"

Nny froze then, the insult echoing like a little bell in the dark recesses of his mind. A memory resurfaced. There he was at Taco Smell, eating a taco, but then the lady called him wacky, followed by the rest of the restaurant, and then everything became a blur...

The twins laughs mirrored those of the past, and he balled his fists, clenching his teeth.

Shadows consumed him, the only sound his rising heartbeat, and he had gone to that special place again...

Nny had to be careful. The wall monster wasn't around to protect him anymore. He still hadn't been caught yet, but he couldn't just go around killing flower vendors now whenever he felt like it.

He would end up in a padded cell for sure, and then he'd definitely never see Molly again. At least he may see Squee, his old pal.

Maybe they would put him next to Squee's cell...

All he had wanted was to eat some ice cream. If it wasn't tacos, then it was frozen desert, and fook! Of all the ass-lancing words... the little bitch just had to say that one!

"NNY, are you okay?"

A hand shook him next, and the darkness vanished at last. Nny crashed back to earth, shaking his head, then looked down at the little person who woke him.

A bright pair of blue eyes framed by blonde curls, and then everything fell back into place. His whole body trembled as he reached his hand up, wincing at an oncoming migraine.

Shit. He'd gone to one of his other realities, but then Molly dragged him back before the abyss could fully consume him.

She not only saved the twins, but she'd saved Nny, too...

She'd saved him from the brink.

Not that the twins didn't deserve to die, but they had been spared, all because of her.

She was like his little guardian angel...

How could he ever repay her?

"NNY? What's wrong? You're scaring me."

His eyes bugged when he heard her terrified little voice, and now he shook himself further, the blood rushing through his head at the speed of a freight train.

He placed a shaking hand onto that little blonde head of hers, ruffling her hair. The whole palm of his hand spread the span of her skull, and she truly was fragile. One squeeze of his fingers, and she'd be gone from this world...

Why was he even thinking about a despicable thing like that? She was his friend, his little Molly; he would never hurt her.

"D-don't fret, Molly. I'm fine... You don't have to be afraid..."

That concerned expression never left her face, and how precious. She was worried about a homicidal maniac, like Nny (a maniac who'd just envisioned squeezing her head like a grapefruit).

Molly smiled and hugged him now. "Well, I'm glad you're okay. They're gone now. The mean twins ran off screaming the moment your eyes disappeared into your head. So they can't upset you anymore. You're not that awful W-word, NNY..."

Nny exhaled, and the tension left his body the moment all that pent-up air left his lungs. "Thank you, Molly. You're too kind. Now... let's get you that ice cream! Two cones, please..."

He peered up at the ice cream vendor. The man had been reading a newspaper the whole time, barely paying attention to anyone outside of his truck. Nny wondered if he had any idea that he almost bore witness to a horrible massacre, just like the headline across his newspaper: HORRIBLE MURDERS ON THE RISE: MURDERER STILL AT LARGE...

Nny ground his teeth. "Hey, I'm talking to you. I said two cones, please..."

The man grumbled, flicking a page of his newspaper. "Ice-cream machine's off. It's 2 pm now. I gots to go home and watch me some football..."

Nny's whole world crashed and burned. After all that suffering, they weren't even going to get ice cream now, and what the fuck?! Just another of life's disappointments!

If he wasn't being denied a Brainfreezy, then he was being denied an ice cream cone!

Why must the powers that be deny him sweet snacks!

Molly cried beside him. "Aw, I really wanted an ice cream..."

Nny shut his eyes, almost going back to that dark place again, but then he grinned all crazy-like at the vendor, giggling like a psychotic freak. A vein pulsed on his forehead.

Who in their right mind switches off their goddamn ice cream machine at 2 pm?! Who in God's name?!

"You... switched the machine off? During working hours?"

The man scratched his unshaven face. "Yep. Sorry, little man. No ice cream for you or the wee girl. I need to get my fat ass home so I can sit in my chair and drink beer until the cows come home. Yep... beer..."

Nny trembled, reaching around for his knives. "B-beer? You're going to deny the good people of the city ice cream just so you can inebriate yourself with... beer?"

The man looked at him cross-eyed. "Uh-huh..."

Splotches of red distorted Nny's vision next, and then his whole world turned to fucking shit. Fuck beer, fuck football, and fuck the vendor...

Molly tugged his arm, the one creeping towards the handle of his knife. "It's okay. NNY. I don't want ice cream anymore..."

Nny never took his eyes off the vendor, his mind still dripping with blood and shit. "It's fine, Molly. You'll get your ice cream. You just wait right here..."

He left the sidewalk, leaving the child alone (it would only take him five minutes). He found the door to the truck next, stormed inside, then disembowelled the vendor with the pointy end of an ice cream cone.

Luckily, the man was out of sight, so the small girl didn't have to bear witness to the unspeakable horror going on inside the ice-cream truck.

Ah, pooh. He got so caught up in murdering the guy, that he forgot to tell him to switch the machine back on. Oh well.

He had some frooty pops in a freezer; they will do.

Nny grabbed two Popsicles, then left the truck through the backdoor, joining Molly on the sidewalk again.

She grinned up at him when he arrived, so blissfully unaware of the horrors he'd just committed. "Hey, NNY! Where did you go to?"

Nny stammered, scratching the back of his shaven head. "Uh... just an errand I had to do, but it's okay, I'm back! Look, I got us frooty pops!"

Molly's eyes widened, and then she took the proffered treat and ripped the wrapper off. "Yum! I really love frooty pops!"

Nny chuckled. "Me too, me too... Let's go!"

Nny tossed some change up to the window of the truck, then led Molly down the street so they could enjoy their fruity pops together.

Such a nice afternoon it turned out to be after all.

...

The rest of the day passed in a blur, yet Nny was barely aware of the time.

He was having too much fun with Molly. At least they got to spend time during the day now; Nny was starting to worry about her health, which was saying something. He was keeping her up late at night, and little girls needed their full night's sleep.

Since Nny still questioned sleep, it wasn't a problem for him, but Molly wasn't as resilient as he was. Nny could stay awake for a whole millennium...

The child just finished telling him the world's funniest joke; it turned out she was quite the hoot. They were sitting on his front step, overlooking his dried patch of soil. Nny should really plant some seeds, but no matter what he did, life would just grow in his yard. It was as if the place was cursed somehow.

"Go... go on... t-tell another joke..." he tittered, wiping a tear from his eye.

He'd just finished laughing from the last joke, and his lungs hurt. He hadn't laughed in such a long time.

Molly smirked, kicking her legs over his loose dirt. "How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?"

Nny blinked. "I don't know... How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?"

She threw her arms up. "Tentacles!"

He watched her dumbfounded for a moment. Then he finally got the joke and burst out laughing, stamping his feet up and down. "You are hilarious, Molly!"

"I know. I could be a comedian!"

"You sure could. Come here..."

He dragged her closer, tickling her beneath the ribs, and her squealing laughter lit up his dreary front yard. It lit up something inside of Nny, and he could listen to the pure sound of her laughter all day.

Perhaps he should make it his new doorbell sound? The tortured screams of his victims were getting tiresome.

The very same hands that killed a man with an ice cream cone were now tickling the belly of a small, adorable child, and the irony was almost as hilarious as Molly's squid joke.

It really was a funny joke, though. He never got to see what the wall monster looked like, but he always imagined it would have a million tentacles like some fucked up cephalopod from space.

They settled back into a state of calm, watching the world go by as the sun set in the sky, painting the street orange.

A woman walked her dog, and then a whistling man passed, stepping a little too close to Nny's loose soil.

Nny clenched his teeth. He would find him later...

Molly's mother was working late tonight, so the only company she had was her grandma.

Nny could tell she didn't want to go back to the house. The old lady terrified her; he swore he heard her heartbeat whenever she laid eyes on the wretched crone, but it was probably just in Nny's head.

She sighed, standing to her feet. "I best go, NNY. Grandma will be expecting me back soon, but I had a really good time today."

Nny grinned, leaning back on his hands. "Me too. You're good company, Molly."

She matched his smile. "You too, NNY."

Molly leaned down quickly to give him a hug, then she trudged back to her house to spend her night with the angry old woman.

The moment she stepped inside the house, the old woman screamed. "And where have you been? It is way past your bedtime!"

"I... I was just next door. I didn't go too far, Grandma..."

"That's enough excuses. Off to bed! I'm sick of the sight of yer!"

The girl's sharp, painful cry was heard next, and it appeared the old woman had whacked her with her walking stick.

Just as Molly feared...

Nny dug his nails into the asphalt.

Fuck that old witch.

Rising to his feet, he stalked towards the house, letting himself inside Molly's front door. The old bitch hadn't even locked it, and in a neighbourhood like this? She was just asking for it now.

Molly was nowhere in sight. Probably shivering under her blankets. The old woman, meanwhile, was sitting in the living room, listening to some music on an old gramophone with her eyes closed.

If only Nny could kill her, but a kid needs their great-grandma.

Killing her would just be too easy. He could make it look like an accident. Maybe she 'accidentally' swallowed the horn of her gramophone after Nny shoved it down her throat?

Nny shook his head. No. No killing the old lady. She was Molly's relative, so she was off-limits.

Unfortunately, he was out of chloroform, but her walking stick was looking pretty good. It leaned against the seat beside her...

The old woman was too into her music to pay attention to the tall, skinny guy creeping up behind her. By the time she turned, it was already too late.

Nny knocked her out with her own walking stick, and the sweet, bitter irony...

She slumped against the seat, disappearing into dreamland yet again. Still alive, but Nny hadn't aimed for a killing blow.

He would not kill Molly's grandma. How ironic that the very child she despised was the only thing keeping her alive...

Instead of ending her miserable life, he snapped her walking stick in half, then tossed it into the fireplace.

Now she won't be hitting any more little children with that deadly thing.

Not surprising she liked to hit children with inanimate objects; this old woman went to school back when the cane was still a form of punishment.

Well, it looked like Molly's babysitter was out cold, but that was okay. Nny would be her new babysitter now.

Let the fun begin!

Poor Grandma Aoife. I loved seeing her get her comeuppance.

Aoife is pronounced Eee-fa. It's an old Irish name and very pretty. Too pretty for that old witch.

I think the scene with the ice-cream man is frigging hilarious. It was just so Johnny, especially when he threw the cash up at the window even after killing the guy. Still a model citizen, even when he's murderin' 😂

I think the balance with Johnny is having him kill people in the most absurd way, like with a pointy ice cream cone, or a spork. That's how you take something as vile as murder and make it comedy... Dark comedy, but you know what I mean.

Thank you again for reading. If you have come this far, then thank you even more!

Peace, my fellow aliens...