Are you ready to have your heart wrenched from your gut?
To really get a feel for this chapter, listen to the song Dear Rabbit by Young Heretics. Nny is like the wolf, not wanting to hurt the rabbit and only befriend it ðŸ˜
Every nerve in Nny's body trembled as he stared at the spot where Molly vanished, gasping for breath. He still gripped tight hold of the drill, forgetting for a moment that he was holding it, why he was down in his basement...
Until the whiny, shrill voice of his captive reminded him.
"Hey, wait! Don't leave! Come back!"
A red haze obscured Nny's vision next, and then he disappeared into the land of shadows, the one he often visited when he was losing his grip on reality.
He focused on the poor fool chained to the floor, gnashing his teeth together. The drill was still in his hand. Nothing to stop Nny from taking out a chunk of his shit-filled skull, but he couldn't.
He had a little girl to find.
Shit. How the fuck had she gotten down into his basement? They were on the third level!
He had to find her... he had to save their friendship.
The way she'd looked at him just now... Nothing but pure, utter terror. He welcomed the expression on others, but not on her sweet, guileless face.
Nny couldn't lose her; he'd lost too much already.
Knocking the man out cold so he couldn't so much as utter another sound, Nny discarded the drill, then raced after Molly.
The man didn't know how lucky he was. If Molly hadn't arrived; if Nny hadn't been alerted to her presence, then Molly would have seen how ugly and terrifying he could truly be.
She would have finally seen Nny for the killer he was...
Molly would never look at him the same way after this, but he had to try and salvage what he could of their friendship.
The very fabric of the universe depended on it.
He scrambled up the step ladder, the air scraping against his lungs like razors as he'd never moved so fast. Hopefully, he could reach her on time. Her legs were much smaller than his, and they were three floors down.
Nny soon picked up on the sound of her ragged, childish breaths, increasing his speed. He reached the next floor up, his frantic eyes landing on her small, retreating form as she rushed down the length of the corridor.
"Molly!"
The shrill squeal that erupted from her lips next was a lance to Nny's heart, but he had no time to dwell on the pain. She was getting away.
He had to save their friendship.
"Molly, stop!"
"G-get away!"
He gained on her fast, grabbing her shoulders as he whirled her around. She kicked and screamed, her tiny hands and feet whacking his face and stomach, but they were mere taps. She barely left a dent.
Yet despite her feeble kicks and punches, they still hurt...
Molly had lost all faith in him now. She feared him. The tears streaming from her crazed blue eyes said it all.
She was like a cornered animal. She even bit him, yet he merely winced, knowing it was nothing more than he deserved.
It was already too late.
Nny had lost yet another friend...
He squeezed his eyes, the deep, desperate urge to immortalize the moment running through his consciousness, but what would be the point? He'd already lost the beauty of the start.
He was a fool to think their friendship was evergreen.
Nothing lasts forever.
Nny sank to his knees, keeping his tight grip on her shoulders as she squirmed and cried. If he weren't careful, he'd break her bones. She was as delicate as china after all.
"Get off me! Mommy, Daddy! Help!"
The darkness beckoned to him now like an old friend, wrapping its cold, misty tendrils around his body. One slithered into his mouth, filling him with a coldness that not even Nny believed was possible...
He'd spend so much time in the sun lately, he'd forgotten how awful the coldness could actually feel. It was terrifying, but... welcoming.
Nny would soon grow used to it. The ice always had a way of frosting his soul again. The cold was familiar and comforting, yet the sun was deceitful, foreign, and worst of all, ephemeral.
The cold would never disappoint him.
That was all he could hope for now: To obliterate every single emotion that he harboured for the small, female child.
Sooner or later, the universe would crumble. Their friendship had been the very thing holding it together. In fact, Nny could feel it shattering. It was losing fragments, bit by horrible bit, leaving nothing but ruin in its wake.
It may not be so bad. Maybe the world would rejuvenate just like the last time. The end wasn't nigh. Not just yet.
He could start over. It would be like he never met Molly, and the little girl would be spared the horror of ever befriending him.
And Nny would be spared from the superfluous pain that only friends could bring.
Finally, he let her go, and she stumbled, falling backwards. She shuffled away from him, gawking in horror, and that was how they stayed.
Any moment, she would get up and run, and Nny would have to watch yet another friend leave him.
The image of her leaving and walking away gripped at his heart like a vice, making it hard to breathe, but it was better this way.
It was the only way either of them could move forward and forget; forget that their whole, stupid friendship happened to begin with.
Molly didn't move from her spot. She merely remained on the ground, her face etched with fear. Her whole body was shaking, and Nny had never seen a more petrified creature.
Her fear was mixed in with her betrayal, too. She'd known all along that he'd hurt people, as he'd confessed, but to see it in action... it must be breaking her little heart.
He had destroyed her perception of him, her reality, and it must be tearing her apart.
Nny had let her down, like someone else in her life. Everyone has let this child down, and she didn't deserve it.
She had seen the best in Nny, despite all the nasty shit he had done. He was not only her friend but her anchor to this cold, rotten world, too.
He was her toilet...
Nny had absorbed every last bit of shit inside her soft, pure soul, acting as a wall. He'd made her shit his own, then flushed it all away like a happy little toilet, just so it wouldn't destroy her.
And he hadn't minded at all. Not one bit. Her troubles balanced his own, making him feel whole, if that were possible.
Nny really had become a source of comfort for her, just as she had for him. Their relationship was symbiotic. They both benefitted, but then he had to go and destroy it by drilling a hole into a man's goddamn skull.
Well, he was about to...
Feet! Why did it still have to be like this? It had been three long years, and Nny was still confused, still insane.
Why was he still bringing people back to his home and instilling his 'wisdom' into their thick skulls before kindly killing them?
And why did he still act as if he enjoyed it? It was sickening.
Nny had vowed to become as cold and unfeeling as the cockroach Mr. Samsa, but he was still plagued by his emotions, still plagued by his excess humanity.
It shouldn't be this hard.
The child was still present. Nny could hear her squeaky puffs of breath a few feet away. He could feel her eyes boring into him.
Nny couldn't look at her; it would hurt too much. Where there was once awe and respect, there would now be fear and disgust.
He wanted to remember her the way she was, before she snuck down into his basement and saw his true colours.
Nny was not a good person. He was the villain of this story; she needed to get herself a new idol, a new person to look up to.
Nny needed no apprentice! He'd pretty much told Mmy the exact same thing, before he killed him.
As if Molly could ever grow up to be as corrupt as Nny (or Mmy). If she ever did develop some form of debilitating, mental illness, then she would only be a harm to herself. She'd still be kind and sweet, never bringing harm to anyone else.
She would be emphatic; she would mourn for her tormentors and understand that they, too, were just people trying to navigate life. That was the only reason people bullied, to feel better about themselves.
Aren't we all just crying children deep down begging to be loved?
But Nny could never bring himself to pity anyone; he was too self-serving, too buried in his own shit to put himself in the shoes of another.
He placed a shaking hand over his face, breathing into his open palm. "Why... why are you still here?"
Molly flinched the moment he spoke, yet despite her alarm, she didn't move.
What was wrong with her? She had seen first-hand what he was about to do to that piece of shit downstairs.
Where was her fear?
Nny clenched his teeth, grinding them down to pulps. "Why haven't you run away? I'm a monster... you saw what I was about to do... Why linger?"
He still couldn't see her, but he could feel her trembling all the same. She sucked in a small, shaky breath, trying to formulate words, but none came.
Finally, he released his hand from his face, meeting those wide blue eyes, and he'd guessed right; nothing but pure fear stared back at him, yet... no disgust. But behind the fear, there was also sadness, too, and was she sad for him?
Nny couldn't compute.
She couldn't possibly see the good in him still, right? After that horrific display downstairs?
He growled, breaking the space between them as he gripped her shoulders. "Why are you still here? Run! I'm a killer, I hurt people. I... I could hurt you..."
Again, Molly didn't move. She didn't even flinch. She just stared at him with those endless blue eyes, the pair that seemed to stretch for all eternity.
He even spied his own reflection inside her big balls of eyes, and he'd never looked so frigging insane. Was that how he looked to her right now, like a maniac? If Nny were her, he'd be shitting bricks.
Any normal person would be.
Fuck. Was this the result of her desensitization? That raw, animal-like fear has left her now, leaving behind a morbid fascination.
Was she engrossed by him? Nny was an enigma, he supposed—a psychotherapist's wet dream.
Her face was devoid of emotion, almost making her look like a doll. It was unnerving. Little children should quake when in the presence of such evil. At least Squee had always been normal in that regard, yet not this girl.
Was he possibly holding on to America's next serial killer? Serial killers do always make the most adorable children.
No. As Nny said, this girl would never be a danger to anyone but herself.
Molly couldn't even hurt a fly. He knew this because of the tears brimming inside of her big, blue eyes right now. They dripped down her face, staining her cheeks, and Nny sighed.
Thank God. She was showing emotion again.
Nny wouldn't want her to be as cold as him. Her heart was meant to be cherished, not ripped out of her chest and torn to pieces, like his.
He bowed his head, fighting off tears of his own. He had always worn his heart on his goddam sleeve himself, even though he'd tried to change that.
It was too hard. His emotions would only destroy him again.
This little girl would destroy him.
"Molly... why...? Why can't you just run...?"
Before he could so much as push her away, push her out of his life so they could both get the happy ending they deserved, she threw herself at him, crying into the crook of his neck.
She stole the very breath of Nny's lungs as he fell back, blinking in shock. All the while, she whimpered against his neck, tears dripping onto his shirt as she held on for dear life.
Why was the lamb hugging the lion? It made no sense.
"Molly, what—?"
"Please, NNY, please don't hurt that man..."
Nny choked on his next words, a lump lodging deep in his throat. It obstructed his airway, making it hard to breathe. Meanwhile, the child latched on to him like a baby rhesus monkey, acting as if he'd blow away at any moment, and now he dug his nails into the floorboards, trying to find the strength he needed.
She... didn't hate him. She... still wanted to be his friend...
It was way more than Nny deserved. He deserved her fear and ire, but instead, she gave him her love. Empathy was a rare trait, after all. Many adults even lacked such an affinity, yet Molly felt every emotion Nny did.
Her kindness was too much, and he almost spluttered like a baby.
Where had she been his whole life? She was only born six years ago, but her soul was so much older.
If only she had been born sooner, they could have been friends. He may have even been less twisted, less murderous.
Funny, she was born around the time when Nny first moved into his house, which was as far back as he could remember.
Nny was like a six-year-old child in his own right. Memories make a person who they are after all, yet he had no memory of his past.
He should be around twenty-six earth years of age, but what happened to the first twenty years of his life?
There were paintings in his house, some dated several years before he moved in: 1989, 1990, 1991.
He must have had some life, some passions...
"I know he was mean to you, but please let him go. I... I don't want them to take you away from me..."
Now Nny was confused. "Who?"
"The... the men in white. They will put a jacket on you and lock you up in the Crazy House for Boys if you keep hurting people, and I will never see you again."
Nny almost laughed; as if he could get caught, but then he didn't have the wall monster protecting him anymore. He had managed to do his ghoulish deeds undetected for the last few years. Perhaps some vestiges of his old life as a Waste Lock were still at play. Regardless of what was happening, the only way the men in white would have him was if he willingly handed himself in.
He exhaled, reaching a tentative hand up to pat her on the head, but then he brought it back down, thinking better of it. She was still shaking, after all, so he didn't want to touch her just yet.
Let the frightened baby deer come to him first...
Suppose it wouldn't hurt to find a new pastime. One that didn't involve drilling holes into people's skulls.
Could he really change for this one child?
No matter what, he couldn't lie to her. Nny had never thought it possible to turn a new leaf. For as far back as he could remember, he'd always been this way.
But it didn't matter now; he was just glad he hadn't completely destroyed their friendship.
Sighing once again, he caressed her blonde head, holding her close. "Don't be silly. I would never leave you behind, Molly. We pinkie promised, remember? Best friends forever..."
She tightened her grip around him, as if her mere arms alone could protect him from the men in white, but Nny was just thankful to have her back by his side.
He would never do anything to disappoint her again.
Do you think Nny could change and stop killing people? He seemed to want to at one point, hence why we get the dialogue from Nail Bunny. I always liked how Jhonen leaves his character's endings open-ended though, like NNY in JtHM with his coldness, and Zim with his... taking over of the earth, etc.
I actually liked that Zim went back to his evil, insane ways in Enter the Florpus. I saw some fans at the time bemoaning the fact he didn't do a 360 and change his mind about taking over the earth. Don't get me wrong. I love redemption arcs, I love villains turning a new leaf and becoming, but I never wanted that for Zim in the canonverse. I even have a whole fic where he changes his mind on the humans, but it's about balance. At the end of Enter the Florous (THAR BE SPOILERS), he says his plan all along was to steal a ceramic clown puppy from Dib's house after his plan failed, and it was just so perfect. Just so Zim. It's as Gz said. He's so bad at taking over the earth, he's hardly a real threat (though he did almost succeed in Enter the Florpus).
The caveat with a show like Zim was that neither Dib nor Zim were the hero/villain, respectfully. In their own eyes, they saw themselves as heroes since they both have big egos, but I digress.
Johhny the not-so-Homicidal maniac. That will be his name from now on.