Note: Here's another chapter again... 'cause I'm just so inspired and soooo happy finding a lot of Addek shippers on Twitter!

Addison risked looking up before starting her fourth surgery of the day and for the fourth time, he was there.

The moment he offered an encouraging smile, she looked away, blinking back the tears from the overwhelming emotions she suddenly felt.

Derek had been watching her surgeries for a month now, without fail. It confuses the hell out of her, but knowing that Meredith is one of the interns constantly with her in her surgeries, it somehow explains a lot.

"Seems like you got all the support you'll need," Addison stared at the resident scrubbing in on the surgery. Insinuating even just a bit of her dependency on Derek Shepherd makes her sound pathetic.

He took so much from her already.

She could not tell whether Bailey had a smile on her face or a judging pout but either way, it's not helping her cluttered thoughts.

"Dr. Shepherd might be adept at navigating brains, but I can assure you, Dr. Bailey, he'd get lost inside a uterus in just a second," Addison said in a passive voice, masking her racing heart. She was resolved to not instinctively turn and look at Derek's reaction, but of course, he wouldn't let that one go.

"I beg to differ, Dr. Montgomery—" Derek's voice went through the speaker in the OR, so she stopped him instantly with a glare, knowing full well that Derek's tone insinuates a different context.

It happened a couple of times during their residency, when Derek would playfully converse with her before her surgery would start. Back when he constantly watches her surgeries, despite it being routine procedures and c-sections.

She secretly loved it though, before, despite claiming that it annoys the hell out of her. Now...

Addison heard Miranda—Miranda, of all people—attempt to hide a chuckle by coughing. Before she could call her friend out, Derek spoke again.

"Beautiful day to save lives, Dr. Montgomery." The smooth voice resonated through the speakers and it calmed Addison's previously haywire nerves, holding a hand out to the nurse.

"Dr. Montgomery." Derek greeted her pleasantly, making her stop in her tracks. Addison doesn't know what Derek's up to, formally and informally referring to her as Dr. Montgomery, but she doesn't have the energy these days to talk with him.

He's everywhere. And while she wished that to be the case back when they were working out their marriage, now that they're divorced… it's just draining.

Though, his light tone confused the hell out of her. Derek's only that happy nowadays when…

She looked beside her and as expected, Meredith Grey was there. No doubt he's trying to get to Meredith's good graces, as she saw him chase the intern down the parking lot weeks ago, seemingly asking—begging for forgiveness.

Yup, that explains everything.

Everyday she's reminded of how she had been reduced to an afterthought, the second best… at least for Derek.

"Dr. Shepherd," Addison said, her voice clipped. She snapped shut the chart she was holding.

"Can I help you?" She asked, walking around him to get away immediately as soon as they were done talking. She knew he would just follow her—them, yet this way, she could buy herself a head start to run away easily, when the pain gets too much.

She just had to dismiss Meredith—who's been in her service for weeks now—as soon as Derek's done telling her whatever the hell it is, so she could cry and disappear. As stoic as she can be, it's still painful to see both of them just play out their happily ever after in front of her as the days go by.

She needs to leave Seattle.

Permanently.

Derek said so… months back.

"Would you like to have dinner with me?" She stopped in her tracks, yet she knew she should have ran the moment she heard it.

Asking Meredith out, with Addison not even a feet away from them, was just downright cruel.

But that's how he had always been these days. She knows she should have gotten used to it by now, as Derek had been this inconsiderate and uncaring for months—years, actually, if she counts New York.

And Richard would turn a blind eye to this. Because it's Seattle Grace, team Meredith-Derek headquarters.

Yup, she's heading straightto the airport right after her shift.

And her downfall—she's a masochist, that's who she is—would be to watch this great love scene play out before her. So she turned because, who better to be in the front row than the ex-wife?

It was a soap opera, and she hates that she's right in the middle of it.

Only, what she saw made her stumble, as Derek was looking at her, and Meredith was nowhere in sight.

"Where's Meredith?" She blurted out before she could even think about it. She kept looking around, hoping to catch Meredith and find justice to the horrible pain she made herself go through.

Derek frowned at her, obviously not expecting her answer.

"What? She went to get labs..." Derek trailed off, looking at her wondrously. "So…?"

"What?" She asked, breathless, as she felt like she was drowning in a sea of mixed emotions. She stared at his soft eyes, directed at her, and she finally saw what everyone kept pointing out for months now.

Derek was looking at her like how he used to, like how she wished he had in all those cold nights in New York.

Like they were Addison-and-Derek again.

"Dinner with me. Tonight. I found a place other than Joe's. And I know you'd like it." He grinned at her, making her heart flutter. Those soft eyes she could stare at forever, making her forget all the pain and burns and heartaches they had to go through in the past year.

He's always the one person powerful enough to do that, to make her forget all the pain she was feeling, no matter how fresh the wounds are, no matter how much she was bleeding.

"Derek." It was a layered warning. He was not only treading on eggshells with her feelings, he was also breaching their agreement with Richard—no more personal issues in hospital grounds.

The agreement actually favored her, though. Without the drama, she gets to avoid being on the verge of emotional breakdowns in front of the hospital staff. Her tears were once again reserved for the bedroom, just like how Bizzy taught her.

Less pain. Though, is it really?

"You can say no. But, I gotta tell you I already made the reservation, and it takes months to get one so rescheduling would be a pain in the ass. I'll be waiting at the lobby after shift, okay?" He was back to his med school charm, pulling the rug from Addison's feet. Then his pager beeped, making him wince.

Before Addison could say anything, he threw one last smile at her, walking away, but not without softly kissing her goodbye.

Like nothing happened in the past years.

Like their divorce papers weren't tainted with fresh ink.

She was inside the supply closet again, hiding from everyone. Derek's stunt, added with the premie she just lost, caught up with her.

She stared at the wrist watch she was holding.

Five minutes til her shift ends, and she knows Derek was already in the lobby, waiting for her.

Once upon a time, she would have been at their meeting place half an hour before their agreed time. She would have basked in his undivided attention, lovingly loop her arms on his. He would help her with her coat, carry her bag for her, and offer an arm for her to hold.

Then they would just drown in each other's presence, with Addison the only person in Derek's eyes.

Before it went downhill, they were at the peak of everything. Their careers, friends, family, and their relationship. He would treat her as if she was worth everything, to the point where it became her normal.

Then it was gone and her world shattered.

She would feel lucky to get even just an hour of his time.

And for almost a year, a minute stolen from his tight relationship with his career was like winning the lottery, and it made her pity herself.

She thought sympathy from family and friends was the worst. She never thought waking up one day and feeling pity on herself was a hundred times more devastating.

It went on for months and years and now, it was as if everything was a dream and Derek was back to before, morphing to the man she married a lifetime ago.

They were completely different people than they were back then and this glimpse of the past, when they were starting to fall in love with each other, was beyond confusing. It doesn't help that they are divorced.

Her shift has now officially ended, and she can't make herself stand up and go to him.

The door opened.

Just in line with today's theme of history repeating itself, Meredith's shocked eyes connected with her tear-stained ones.

After a minute, the intern spoke.

"He's been waiting there for like an hour now."

Addison just nodded, sniffing and forcing herself to hold back the next round of sobs wanting to overtake her body.

"Are you…"

"Please leave me alone," Addison said, hating that Meredith Grey gets to see her cry for the second time. It's more than the times her own mother saw her cry.

"For what it's worth, I really think he's sincere in making it work." Addison just stared at the woman, tears continuously flowing down her cheeks.

Why was Meredith Grey pushing her to Derek?

"Thanks." She said with half sarcasm and sincerity, it even confused Addison herself. The door closed and Addison stared back at the watch.

Five minutes past her shift.

She stood up and wiped her cheeks, taking a deep breath. She walked out of the closet and went to the lobby, heart pounding in her chest.

It was like going to war, she knows that no matter what she does, pain would be inevitable.

Yet once she saw him, finally waiting for her, she knew she was making the right decision.

He stood up, looking concerned, more likely noticing that she had just cried.

She smiled reassuringly, and walked closer to him.

I don't know what the third option is. I just know that I still love you.