Dear Terrible Writer (aka Obstinate Author),
How pleasant it is to spend my time in this way! I declare after all there is no enjoyment like leaving a barrage of scathing reviews! How much sooner one tires of anything other than spreading gloom and making others feel inadequate. You, an author? I should soon call Mr Collins a pure genius.
Forever yours,
Guest
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It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a rude guest reader who leaves spiteful reviews, does not dare to sign in when they do so.
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Lady Catherine:
"Upon my word, you give your opinion so decidedly yet you are such a coward to not even make yourself known."
"If you had ever learnt how to be a civilised human being, you should have mastered the restraint of saying nothing at all when you cannot say anything nice."
"And if you had taken the time to practise, you would have been a true proficient in writing stories in your third language."
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Mrs Bennet:
"How can you discredit authors who share their work freely in such a way? You take delight in vexing them. You have no compassion for their valiant attempts. You heartless soul! Oh, where are my smelling salts?"
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Mr Bennet:
"An unhappy alternative is before you, rude guest. From this day on, you must either engage in some research on good manners and right conduct, then undergo sufficient training on how to be pleasant and respectful to all, or be silent forever."
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Mr Darcy:
"In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I despise your lack of tact and decorum."
"Rudeness of every sort is my abhorrence."
"Your defect is a propensity to find something negative in everything, as well as to wilfully misunderstand the good humour and creativity infused in fanfiction."
"I am in no humour at present to give consequence to obnoxious people who want to show they are superior by maligning others; you had better return to your naughty corner and stare at the wall, for you are wasting your time with me."
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Elizabeth:
"From the very beginning, from your very first review, your poor manners, demonstrating your vulgarity and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form the foundation of my lack of regard for your unjust opinion; and I had not read many comments before I felt that you were the last reader in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to deem as worthy of our time and consideration."
"There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened with the abuse and arrogance of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me or deride my efforts."
"We should all be the happy creatures in this world. However, you persist in being miserable and overly critical. I am happier than you; for you appear to have no sense of humour, while I have an inclination to smile and laugh. I pray that one day you will join us in our appreciation of both the serious and the frivolous."
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Jansfamily4, abujoe and Maria Teresa C: As you have expressed an interest in seeing the quotes I wrote on a whim a month ago, I have now posted them.
Respectful readers are welcome to contribute their own quotes.
To anyone waiting for updates on my stories, I have not abandoned them. Just very busy. I apologise for not having time to write new material. I might add my other similarly-themed piece here as chapter 2. Anyone read "A Tribute"?
I guess it is time for me to hide again. ;-)
Stay safe, everyone!