The Innocence of Childhood

Too much… this is just too much!

Panting, Baraqiel tentatively peeked passed a doorway, looking for any sign of his hunter. Seeing the path clear, he turned off the lights and stealthily pressed forward, silently praying towards the god he betrayed that he would not be detected.

He had accomplished countless missions for the Grigori. He led battles against the Devils of the underworld and the loyal legions of Heaven. He has fought against foes that could effortlessly rend the heavens with ease and scorch the earth below. By his will alone, entire kingdoms could fall, with nary a mortal to stop him. But today… today he has met his match. Clutching his parcel close to his chest he prepared to change locations again, only to freeze when he heard the familiar sound of footsteps coming ever so closer.

Quietly sliding into the shadows of the room, he watched anxiously for his pursuer. Tensing as her shadow approached from the hall, he bit his lips to prevent himself from making a sound. His pursuer was small, a timid child hiding one of her eyes behind her black hair. But the light of her purple eyes, the purity of her form, it was too much for a fallen angel such as Baraqiel. Steeling himself, he closed his eyes to resist the purity of her pleas.

I will not fail you Shuri! Nozomi shall not receive her 3rd birthday present early! I just need to last one more hour… by then Shuri should have the party ready. Akeno is already keeping Ritsuka occupied… I cannot be the only one that fails! I must remain-

*Hic!* "Papaaaaa! Where are you?" *Hic!* "I want present! Hug!"

*Urk!* Nozomi's pitiful pleas struck a chord in Baraqiel's heart. Shuddering, he slapped his cheeks to steel himself himself. Only to realize that he dropped the package by doing so and thus gaining the attention of his daughter. Watery eyes met closed eyes and for a moment there was an awkward silence. Opening her arms, tears starting to trickle down her face she broke Baraqiel's resistance with one word.

"H-hug?"

Uncaring of his dignity as a Grigori cadre and a father, he scooped up Nozomi and gave her a hug, much to her delight and giggles. The package was soon yielded to her as well.

"Geez Baraqiel… you can't say no to your daughters for an hour?"

Baraqiel could only hang his head in shame at Shuri's disappointment. But his heart was buoyed by the content squees and giggles of Nozomi sitting on his lap. She loved the stuffed animal, a white dog she affectionately named Fou. Ritsuka on the other hand was pouting about how Nozomi received her present early, crying "No fair!" All the while, Akeno could only pinch the bridge of her nose at her father's hopelessness.

"For one that insisted that we follow the western traditions of birthdays, you seemed to be the worst at adhering to them."

"Urk!"

Baraqiel cringed at his wife's words piercing words, hanging his head even lower in shame. Looking up, Nozomi noticed her father's despair. Unsure of why he would be so sad when there is a white doggie on her lap, she innocently tilts her head in confusion before lifting Fou to nuzzle her father. Gaining his attention she gives him a beaming smile

"Smile Papa! Fou!"

Crying manly tears of joy, Baraqiel flings his head back and clenching his fist he shouts to the heavens:

"So Adorable!"

Sighing at her husband's foolishness, she motioned for them to enter dining room, sparsely decorated for the occasion with 2 cakes with 3 lit candles each.

"Happy Birthday!"

Caught up in the excitement, the twins did not even wait for the song before bolting over and blowing out the candles. Bemused by their actions, Shuri decided to skip such 'traditions' and move along to eating sweets and watching Baraqiel's amusing antics while no one was paying attention to her. Smiling sadistically, she observed her family, privately noting each embarrassing bonding moment for future use. After all, it is a mother's prerogative to embarrass her husband and children at her leisure.

Jeanne d'Arc Alter is the embodiment of suffering, both in giving and receiving it. She was born from Gilles de Rais's grief, her memories and feelings born from the imaginings of a bereaved friend beside himself in grief and eventual madness. It had been a troubling revelation that all of her feelings, all of her bitterness was never actually her own. That her entire existence was nothing more than a forgery, a distorted imitation never meant to last more than one campaign, one battle…

And yet she still existed. Denying the reality that would reject her existence, she clung on to her sense of self, despite it originally being a sham. She mastered the art of perfecting forgeries to the point where it created a false singularity and created ever more fakes and convincing imitations. Using nothing but sheer passion to overcome the differences in skill, her works soon became nearly indistinguishable from the originals. Ultimately, she failed in her goal of becoming authentic. But in that failure she succeeded in becoming a legend, engraved into the hearts of her masters who later she found out spared no expense in summoning her to join their Grand Adventure.

This summoned Jeanne was something of a contradiction, a legitimate copy of an impassioned forgery. But she refused to let it define her. Instead, she sought to define herself in her own terms, to become her own person. This of course lead to many misadventures. Regardless, she enjoyed them much to her own embarrassment whilst hiding behind a mask of annoyance and self-proclaimed evil. And despite being summoned as an Avenger, an avatar of hate and revenge, she enjoyed the love of her masters, her friends, and her self-proclaimed sisters, the original Jeanne and her younger self, even if she could never properly express it.

She never regretted her decision to save Ritsuka, now her current master through reincarnation. But it was tedious, watching these family interactions for 3 years but being unable to interact. In a way, she felt like a family member that was being ignored by all the others. And at times, especially at night did she WISH that they knew she existed, especially Baraqiel and Shuri.

Jeanne quickly learned of their… habits a few months after the twins were born. During those days Jeanne watched the family like hawks, searching for any sign of abuse of neglect towards her master and friend. At first, it seemed as if it was a normal family, despite Baraqiel's suppressed aura that defined him as a non-human. But one night, after Shuri recovered from her pregnancy and the children were fast asleep, Jeanne heard noises coming from the mother's room. Curious and concerned, Jeanne entered the room in her astralized state. What she found could only be described in one phrase:

"Absolutely Disgusting."

Never had she seen such a collection of ropes, chains, whips and assorted torture devices. Even Gilles lacked such a vaulted collection for his… 'art'. And they were being used to great effect, to the point where Jeanne wondered if the room was somehow connected to a singularity of Dante's Inferno. Fleeing immediately, she swore to NEVER come within a meter of that room at night. She was not intimidated by that kind of intimacy. No, she was merely insuring that Ritsuka and Mash did not see something so inappropriate so soon.

Truly.

It wasn't till later that she discovered Baraqiel's status of a fallen angel, which made the scene she saw that night all the more poetic, if not less disturbing.

But on that day, the 3rd anniversary of Ritsuka's and Mash's reincarnation, Jeanne swore to increase that distance to 5 meters after seeing that smile on Shuri's face. Even as an unabashed sinner, she had no desire to see the next level of hell.

But not all was terrifying on that day. Seeing Mash finally treated not as a lab animal like the staff of Chaldea did in years past, but instead enjoying the love and affection of those that saw her as family was uplifting, even for one tainted in hatred. And most heartening was what Ritsuka desired for her birthday. A stuffed dragon in the image of her Fafnir of the Orleans singularity. A dragon that represented her if, in a chibified manner.

Jeanne smiled softly at the sight, at the thought that even if they can no longer remember, they still desired the friends they made in Chaldea.

That night, Akeno found herself snacking on dangos she had saved from the celebration earlier that day. It had been a small but rambunctious affair. None of her cousins were able to make it, but several such as Suzaku sent cards and well wishes. Surprising really, seeing how most of the family were staunch traditionalists and were against new, fun things.

Finishing the last dango, Akeno started to walk back to her room, ignoring the sounds coming from her parents room. "It looks like Mama was punishing Papa again," she thought. "He makes mistakes all the time." Before reaching her room though, she noticed that her siblings' room was open. Peering inside, she saw that once again Nozomi snuck out of her bed. Walking back to her room, she found her errant sibling sitting on her bed, holding Fou and waiting expectantly for her.

Geez… that girl really struggles to sleep alone…

Ever since she learned how to walk, Nozomi would never sleep alone in her own bed. She would either slip into Akeno's bed, their parent's room, or most frequently, Ritsuka's bed. Tonight it seemed, was her turn. Sighing briefly before adopting a bemused smile, she nodded at her little sister who beamed in joy and went under the sheets. The little bundle of joy was hugging her tightly once she slipped into bed.

Petting her sister's black hair, Akeno was rewarded with seeing her sister's peaceful face as she fell as sleep. Her eyelids growing heavy, reflections on her family came unbidden.

Hah… things have changed so much since my little sisters came. Papa used to be so distant, but now he's a hopeless, slightly more loveable goofball, especially when Nozomi is involved. Before he used to be gone for days at a time. When I asked before, he said he had to help a friend for some jobs. But now he's rarely gone for a whole day. He smiles a lot more too.

Closing her eyes, she felt little Nozomi nuzzling her chest, enjoying the warmth of her older sister.

I swear, they are nothing like what Suzaku and my other cousins said little siblings are. They aren't bratty, selfish or dumb. Nozomi loves to share. If she thinks you want it too, she's the first to pass it to you. Even if she doesn't get to play, she's always happy just from being around others, especially Ritsuka and Papa.

Ritsuka on the other hand loves to explore, and drag others into it, especially poor, timid Nozomi. Oddly enough, when a terrible monster (a spider) or a demon (a cockroach) would appear, it's Nozomi that reacts first, standing between her sister and the terrible creature (a cricket), with trembling, puffed cheeks until she starts crying, summoning a (fallen) angel (her father) to smite the malicious entity (a fly).

Ritsuka also loves to collect, as she hoards anything and everything that interests her or seems important from her adventures. She's always willing to share, but you always have to ask first. Gods, the tantrums she had when she thought someone took something without telling her…

Smiling at that memory, Akeno followed her sister into the realm of dreams…

A content sigh escapes from Shuri after an… intense session with her husband. The pair of deviants lay content in each others arms, with Baraqiel already fast asleep. Snuggling next to her husband, her thoughts drifted towards her family.

Are fallen angels really that bad if they are so good to their spouses and their spawn are so well behaved? Akeno, Ritsuka, and Nozomi are the most positive, cheerful, and good natured children I have ever met. Yes they have their occasional tantrums and selfish moments, but compared to their cousins they are incredibly polite and mature.

Maybe that's why things have been improving between us and Himejima clan. Ever since Ritsuka and Nozomi were born, tensions have died down. Baraqiel no longer has to stay afield for long periods of time because the support the Himejima clan now gives to the Grigori. With them acting as eyes and ears for the region, Baraqiel can stay deal with regional Grigori and Himejima issues within a day and return in time to tuck the children in. Although, I hear that it is causing a great amount friction between the Himejima clan head, and leader of the traditionalists, and the progressive faction, whose key figure head is now Himejima Souta, his favorite son.

And with my more progressive sisters coming to visit with their children more often, Akeno is finally forming tighter bonds with her cousins besides Suzaku. Maybe… just maybe, the Himejima family can finally move on past its ancient traditions and accept all if its children, even the ones with fallen blood…

Souta… I hope you succeed in convincing uncle to change his ways.

With the prospects of a better future closer to being realized, Shuri closed her eyes, hoping to see it play out in her dreams.

"Himejima Souta."

"Yes, honored father?"

"What is the meaning of your actions? Why have you betrayed our family values! The Grigori are an aberration, filth that should not exist in our realm, much less in our family! Yet now you all but openly support their activities, subverting tradition and undermining our authority. My authority. Explain your betrayal son, and pray I find it worthy of mercy."

In the head household in the Himejima Clan, an infuriated Himejima Suou, current head of the Himejima clan summoned his former favorite son alone, for a private discussion. Suou was standing, face flushed with rage as he berated his sitting son, who held a calm knowing smile all the while.

"But father, my actions do follow family traditions."

"Such insolence! Since when does consorting with such filth count as tradition! We protected Japan from beings such as them!"

"Ah, but father, you fail to see my purpose."

"Purpose? Explain. Now."

"Father, do you remember the stories of old? When powerful rogue oni and other demons ravaged the land that was too powerful for even our most experienced practitioners?"

"Yes, and?"

"And how did we defeat them father?"

"We delivered them wine under the pretense of tribute, and struck them down once they lowered their guard, but I fail to- Oh… Now I see. This is a dangerous game you play son."

Suou's expression slowly regain its normal regal calm, but his eyes betrayed a hint of agitation.

"Indeed honored father, but after the failure of the practitioners after Akeno's birth, we lacked any means to overcome Baraqiel's veritable strength. Originally, I was planning on using his long periods away from home to invite his enemies to his home, but with two additional children born, even the most hard-pressed Grigori is reluctant to call him away for any amount of time. Their numbers are few, and thus their children are to be cherished. Admirable were it not for their aberrant natures."

Nodding, Suou motioned for Souta to continue, the agitation of his eyes slowly morphing into intrigue and acceptance.

"So, like the Oni of old, we must force him to drop his guard. In this case, the alcohol is the perceived safety and reduced overt animosity of the Himejima clan. This infection will be cleansed in due time, but for now, why not use him to solve some of our problems? Some of the more hostile Youkai would be… costly to remove, as well as hunting down the rogue devils that flee their thrice damned war."

"So you plan to use him to our benefit, then ambush him?"

"That was my initial impulse, but I decided against it. In the slim chance he overcomes the ambush, we would enter open war with the Grigori, a most disadvantageous situation for us even in the best case scenario."

"So how do you plan to 'deal' with him then?"

"Send him to battle a mutual foe. A foe that may or may not have been warned in advance of his coming. A foe that by happenstance also learned the location of his family."

Nodding in agreement, the Family Head pours himself and his son tea before sitting back down.

"I can understand some of your actions to a degree at least my son, although I wish you would have informed me before hand. However, that does NOT excuse the fact that you have undermined my authority and with it, our clans unity."

"Ah, but father the clan was already fragmented over this matter even before I acted. I merely gathered all the malcontents under my banner. Where I can observe them, influence them, and ultimately prevent them from becoming treasonous. After all Honored Father, the ones that openly support my 'progressive stance' are not the only ones who harbor such heretical inclinations."

"What."

Smiling, Souta reached into sleeve and produced a scroll and several letters written to him by other members of the clan. Suou, noting that they all bore the various seals of the clan's other branches, skimmed through their contents, sporting an ever darkening grimace as he continued.

"Indeed, instead of only 5% of the clan that has turned their backs on tradition, it is closer to 25%, with the number steadily rising over time. We are losing ground Father."

"Then what are you suggesting that we do son?"

Souta, noticing how his father had already forgiven him for his actions, sighed in relief before continuing.

"Using my position as my figurehead of the 'progressives', I can keep track of who truly believes in our traditions and those who are turning their backs to it. With my information, you can easily take steps to minimize the influence and efforts of the heretics. We won't be able to purge them completely. After all, human nature by default is rebellious. But we can minimize it to the point of being a non-factor. So then, when the opportunity is right, and we finally remove Baraqiel and his spawn, there will be no issue."

Closing his eyes, Suou took a deep breath to clear his mind. After several moments of silence, he finally spoke again.

"I do not approve of such duplicitous methods son."

"Neither did our ancestors in dealing with the Oni, but it had to be done."

"Very well, what is required of me for this plan of yours?"

"Nothing new, just continue to berate me and summon me for these 'debates' to make it seem as though we are truly at odds. The others will naturally assume the only reason why more harsh sanctions have yet to materialize is due to your former fondness of me."

"You do realize this path will bar you from becoming the next head correct?"

"Yes, but protecting our way of life is more important than my ambitions. One of my brothers will become the next head in my stead correct? As long as they are aware of my role and respect my sacrifice, I shall be content."

Upon hearing those words, Suou's eyes watered with sorrow and pride in his son. His wisdom, intellect and cunning would have served well as his successor. He would have had his name written down with the same honors as his predecessors and ancestors. His name should be treated with the same reverence and awe. Instead, he chose to walk a filthy path that besmirched his name and would ruin his reputation for generations to come.

All for the clan.

"Very well my son. Know that I am proud of you, even if now I can no longer afford to show it."

"Thank you honored father. Moments like this alone will be enough to sustain me."

Solemnly nodding, the pair drank their tea in silence. Sacrifices will be made, but all will be made right.

All for a better future.

Author's notes

Heya peeps!

After all those reviews and views, I felt compelled to make the next chapter here instead of my Fire Emblem fic. Still though, those first reviews. Within the first day half of the reviews were complaining about how I mentioned Gudao. Like seriously?! I wrote a holocaust level tragedy in Britain with MILLIONS of people dying brutal and painful deaths in an event worse than what EMIYA witnessed, but what bothered people was that I mentioned a character (Gudao) in passing for exposition? Geez, what does that say about your priorities? Lol

That aside, keep posting your thoughts in the reviews. Some of you guys (who I won't mention for fear of spoilers) had some decent ideas I'm actually considering using, albeit with modifications to fit the story.

This chapter is a bit on the short end, but if I didn't divide it here it would become too big of a monster for my editor. I don't feed him enough Ramen yet for me to warrant doing that to him… for now.

Right, time to write the prologues to the other fate stories some of y'all (including editor-kun) have been begging for. Geez I'm going to be busy for the next few years aren't I?

Editor Notes:

I honestly have no clue if any of you read the AN, let alone the EN, but if you do, kudos, for I shall remain in the shadow of the AN to give an insight to the author's lack of grace when it comes down to his writing. Hell, here I am editing the AN on my phone while I'm at it so he doesn't sound like a complete dunce. However, that won't stop his overweeb from leaking out or fixing his Gilgamesh complex.

Regardless, we're at your mercy, readers. You hold more power over the author than he let's you all believe. (Lies!)