Midsummer Crises

by starwars4life

Many changes have happened in the lives of the hedgies in the span of 5 years: marriages, parenthood, and a new sense of identity. However, not all changes are good and have given rise to conflicts among many hedgies, which impact the whole family. What sort of life challenges face the hedgies now, and will the love of family and friendship be enough to solve the dilemmas?

3. Strife and Comfort

Happy Holiday's to all you readers at the time of this chapter's initial posting on December 18, 2019! I'm keeping my tradition of giving all readers an early Holiday's present in the form of a new chapter! Just one this time, for reasons I'll get into at the ending author's note. Until then, enjoy!

Chapter 3: Strife and Comfort

Back at the animals' main living area, the hedgies are all nervously waiting as RJ, Verne, Luby, and Lou continue to tend to Heather behind a portable hospital curtain. Everyone is dreading to hear the news as to how extensive her injuries are, because almost everyone is responsible for her getting hurt in the first place.

Bernard feels responsible because he played possum instead of running to the porcupines' hole as Heather had instructed him. Hammy and Scarlet feel responsible because they weren't able to get Sam under control, which led to him pushing Bernard off the tree and onto the piñata. Roger and Ty feel responsible because they commented about how Rebecca's trance was from her staring at the human girl Sofía, instead of keeping their eyes and ears open to what was going on in the tree. The porcupines and bats feel responsible because their arguments distracted them from taking action. Rick, Stella, De'Ausha, Tiger, Verne, Velma, Plushie, Rogan, and Kale feel responsible because they had been too shocked at what happened ever since Bernard fell down to do anything.

But no one feels more responsible than Rebecca who had diverted Team One's attention by her pheromones, which put RJ out of commission and thus prevented the rest of the animals in the tree from being able to help Hammy and Scarlet calm Sam down. She is the true reason for today's failed heist, and almost got her brother's mate killed, all because she couldn't keep her gay thoughts in check. Words couldn't describe the guilt she had felt (and continues to feel) when the animals had returned home in the golf cart and Ozzie, after hearing the news about his daughter, had a panic attack so severe that he actually passed out—without playing possum. The elder possum is still unconscious and a thorough check concluded that no life-threatening health problems resulted from his feint, but no one has bothered to try to wake him up, not until RJ and the other animals best at medical practice are finished.

But all Rebecca can think about is blaming herself. She had never seen RJ so frightened in her life; the sight of his beloved soul mate's crippled body was something Rebecca doubt her brother will ever forget. He had fallen in love with her, shared countless hours of quality time with her, exchanged wedding vows with her, had two beautiful children with her, and had gone through Heck and back to save her from Verm-Tech twice...

All of those memories and any future memories RJ had intended to share with her nearly had come to an end because of Rebecca.

Rebecca thinking: "No matter how hard I try, I always nearly ruin my brother's life. His reunion with mom and dad after 28 years went sour when he thought they loved me more than him. His family was captured because I had run out in the middle of the suburbs to cry, which is when I got caught by that Gladys woman. His legs got broken by that Dwayne guy when I made him rush to find the cure to the poison I was infected with. And now, he almost loses Heather!"

She would have moped some more, but the sound of the hospital curtain opening up and RJ, Verne, Lou, and Luby emerging demands her full attention. Everyone feels the same way, because as they all face the four at the exact same time, the noise of their head motions is quite audible.

RJ: "Part of Heather's left hip and a few lumbar vertebrae are broken. She will recover, though...it'll just take some time."

Verne: "It's a really good thing she worked out so much. If she wasn't already in peak health, her injuries would have been much worse...fatally so."

All the listeners breathe a sigh of relief. A few moments later, Bernard steps forward with guilt written all over his face.

Bernard: "Daddy...?"

RJ (to his son): "Don't even say it, Bernard." (To everyone) "I don't wanna hear anyone say 'it's all my fault.' We all know the risks we take whenever we go on a heist, and this one was riskier than most. What happened has happened, and no amount of blaming or wishing for things to have turned out differently is gonna make things better." (Points over his shoulder at the hospital curtain) "This is what happened, so we have to deal with it."

RJ then nods at Verne who steps forward.

Verne: "Even so, there have been a lot of things going on with many of us lately. And to ensure something like this never happens again, we need to deal with our problems as soon as possible. If no one wants to talk about the issues as a whole family, then that's okay. Some of our problems might in fact be better to solve within our blood families, spouse to spouse, parents to children, or even by oneself—without getting the entire family involved. But no matter how it's done, the issues must be solved."

RJ: "But we've all had a stressful day, so if you need to take some R&R time before you're ready to solve your problems, feel free to. I know I sure do."

Verne: "The family meeting is now over."

With that, the bat family yawns and stretch their wings out.

Celine: "Who's in for getting some shuteye?"

Simon, Marilyn, Christine, and Claire raise a wing and simultaneously say, "Me."

Celine nods and the five winged mammals put away their retractable canes, then fly up to their favorite tree. They cling to a large branch using their toe claws, hang upside down, and wrap their wings around themselves.

Simon: "Good day..."

Celine, Marilyn, Christine, and Claire in unison: "Good day."

The five then doze off. Part of the reason they're asleep so quickly is because they had to be woken up to perform a midday heist, which for nocturnal animals is the equivalent of diurnal creatures waking up at 1:30 AM after going to bed at 10 PM. Another reason for their quick departure into slumberland is because of the family below who, having noticed the bats' retiring ritual, start to get quiet themselves. That means those who want to do anything that involves noise start to disperse to their favorite downtime spots.

Rebecca approaches RJ intending to say how sorry she is and the reason why she did what she did, but she stops herself after quickly realizing that to talk to him about her homosexuality so close to everyone else would risk the rest of the family knowing about her dirty little secret. Opting to avoid that unwanted outcome, she decides to tail RJ from a healthy distance away as he goes to his downtime spot.

Once RJ is halfway to his hammock, Rebecca catches up to her brother.

Rebecca: "RJ...I'm sorry for losing control of my pheromones. Had I not done that—"

Now faced with the very issue, and person, he wanted to avoid, RJ quickly replies in a restless tone, "I already said—"

Rebecca: "I know, but Verne also said we need to solve our issues soon. If I hadn't gotten lost in a fantasy of my gay thoughts you would've been able to deal with the stuff going on in the tree."

RJ (bitterly): "I'm well aware of that, Rebecca. But right now I'm in no mood to deal with anyone's problems. Least of all, yours. I need some time to myself to let off some steam. Now go before you make things worse than they already are."

Noticing her brother's cold tone, Rebecca takes a hint, nods at RJ in understanding, and walks in the other direction. It's now clear to her that RJ had been hiding his true feelings about the disastrous heist when he had addressed his son, and then the whole family, about not wanting to hear anyone say there were sorry, and that it's pointless to wish for things to have turned out differently. Although RJ has gotten much better at controlling it over the years, Rebecca knows her brother's temper and when he is angry at others, and not to mention at her.

Oddly, Rebecca isn't offended in the slightest, because her brother is just an average guy, after all. It would be weird if he wasn't angry at anyone for what had happened to his precious mate, Heather. RJ has the right to feel angry with whomever he believes is responsible. Even so, it doesn't make Rebecca feel any better that RJ blames her, at least in part, for Heather's current predicament. But past experiences have taught her that it's just better to let him cool down before he can move on.

Now needing some time to let off steam herself, Rebecca heads to her downtime spot to do some gymnastics. A lot of gymnastics, given how upset she is feeling.

Little does she know that she won't be getting the privacy that she desires.

---

Back at the log after the bats fell asleep...

Having not seen his parents much today, Ike runs over to Spike and Emma and begins asking them questions.

Ike: "I bet it was fun driving that decked-out golf cart, wasn't daddy?! Did you and mommy work together during the heist?! Oh, of course you did! You're always together on everything you do!—"

Spike: "Ike. Mommy and I need some time to talk...alone."

Emma: "So keep playing with MeMe or your other relatives."

Despite his young age, Ike can clearly tell something is wrong with how his mother and father responded in such serious and somber tones. His parents' facial expressions are just as serious and somber too.

Ike: "Something wrong?"

Emma: "It's nothing you should worry about, son."

Ike: "O-okay."

Ike notices that Spike and Emma seem to be really concerned over something, given how they immediately walk away without telling any nearby family members to keep an eye on their son. Instead, the married couple assumes that Ike will just want to start playing.

But the three-year-old can't do that this time. He has never seen his parents talk or look the way they did. Being Spike's son, he inherited his dad's curiosity and talent for trouble-making. So as soon as his parents are out of sight, Ike sneaks away to follow them.

A few minutes later, Ike recognizes the sound of his parents' voices coming in the direction of the couple's favorite downtime spot where a five foot long hollowed out log tilting on the slope of a small hill makes a natural slide (which Ike has had much fun with).

Spike: "This is good enough, now let's get down to business."

Emma: "Yes."

Ike creeps forward using bushes as cover while his parents continue to talk.

Spike: "You have a lot of explaining to do, Emma."

Emma: "Me? You're the one who flipped out over my necklace during the heist."

Spike: "True, but I wouldn't have done that if you didn't wear it all the time, and treat it like it's more important than me."

Emma: "I don't treat it like that—"

Spike: "Yes you do. You were holding and rubbing it for 'good luck,' when all you had to do to feel at ease was hold me."

Emma's eyes widen as her mate has a very good point. But being the youngest of her sister's, she's also the most emotional of them all, and sounds defensive when she says, "Well, you didn't ask me to hold you."

Spike doesn't take too kindly to the way Emma just talked to him, and addresses her in the same way.

Spike: "I didn't ask because, as the woman I fell in love with and married, I assumed your first instinct would be to turn to me for comfort. Not only that, but you've been ignoring me whenever I've brought up how you wear that necklace all the time, and how it can get in the way of a heist."

Emma's and Spike's voices begin to escalate, making Ike fearful but also unable to look away.

Emma: "It's just a necklace, Spike. Why're you making such a big deal out of it?"

Spike: "Because you make a big deal out of it, Emma. You treat it like it's your own child instead of a necklace."

Emma: "How so?"

Spike: "Touching it tenderly whenever you feel nervous, making sure it's always centered and perfectly noticeable by everyone, refusing to let anyone else touch it, including our own son, and wearing it to every heist despite the trouble it can cause. I wouldn't have much of a problem if you only wore it occasionally, but you never take that thing off, not even when you bathe or sleep. It's always on you. And here's the main gripe I have with that necklace: you wearing it 24/7 is the equivalent of a human engagement ring. It's like you and the real Ike were lovers.

Emma: "I've told you why I wear this: it's because I'll always be thankful that the Ike from Ohio saved my life. I wear it as a memento of his sacrifice. It's an everlasting reminder of our friendship, and the one thing that keeps him alive in my heart."

Spike: "Isn't naming our son after the porcupine who saved us honoring Ike's sacrifice enough? Doesn't that keep the real Ike alive in your heart?"

Emma: "Yes, it does."

Spike: "And don't act like you and Ike were just friends, I was there too. That guy was in love with you, even when you told him I was your boyfriend."

Emma: "I told him that because I loved you, and you alone, despite his feelings toward me."

Spike lets out an annoyed sigh. The fact that this whole conversation has been going nowhere and has only served for each spouse to reinforce their unshakable opinions, is starting to wear his patience thin.

Emma: "What?"

Spike (with an attitude): "I have my doubts. Otherwise, you wouldn't still be wearing that thing everywhere you go."

Now Emma is starting to feel the same way Spike did during their argument during the heist. Her mate's jealousy over a material object and accusations that she was in love with Ike is pushing all her buttons in the wrong way.

Emma (with an attitude): "I also like to have a more physical reminder of Ike that makes me look pretty. Is it a crime for a lady to look pretty, Spike? It's like Luby's bow. She wears it all the time and her mate doesn't try to yank it off without my permission. You're being jealous over a necklace, for pete's sake!"

Behind his bush Ike is becoming scared by his parents' argument so much that he puts his paws over his ears and closes his eyes to try and make the confrontation go away. But Spike's and Emma's yelling makes it hard to do that.

Spike: "That's because Luby doesn't treat it like a person! She doesn't let her bow get in the way of being married to Rick and having two sons!" (Points to himself) "I'm having to compete with a necklace for your love and attention, and that's not a sign of a healthy relationship!"

Emma: "You and our son Ike are the most important people in my life! Wearing this necklace is far down the list!"

Ike starts groaning as he's unable to cancel out his parents' ever-increasing volume.

Spike: "Then prove it! Take that necklace off, right now! Go five minutes without it!"

Emma: "I thought you would understand by now! Why do I have to part with this for even one second to prove that I love you and always will?!"

Ike (groaning to himself): "Stop..."

Spike: "You see?! There you go again, refusing to part with that necklace! You really did love Ike, didn't you?!"

Ike (normal volume): "S-s-stop...!"

Emma: "How dare you say that! I love you and our son! This necklace is a token of my friendship with Ike, who saved you too! I thought you'd feel honored that I wore it, but all you can think about is me meeting your desires instead of you respecting my own!"

Spike: "But your desires have been getting in the way of our relationship!"

Ike (yelling): "STO-O-O-O-O-P!"

Emma and Spike gasp and quickly search the direction that the cry came from where they discover Ike in a bush. Their son is curled up in a ball and covering his ears while tears stream down his face. At that moment, the couple is overcome with a tidal wave of guilt. Ike had probably heard and seen their entire argument, and because neither mate could solve their differences in a better way, they may have traumatized the poor kid.

Emma and Spike simultaneously reach to comfort their son and put a gentle paw on his head.

Emma: "Ike..."

Spike: "Son..."

Emma and Spike in unison: "We're sorry..."

Ike opens his eyes and sees his parents giving him concerned and apologetic looks.

Ike: "You were scary..."

Spike: "We know. We just...lost our tempers."

Emma: "Completely..."

Spike: "We didn't know you were nearby, but that doesn't excuse our behavior."

Ike: "You still love each other?"

That question, coming from their three-year-old son after what he had seen, hurts the couple. Hurts them deep. Still, they got Ike into this and now they need to help him get out.

Spike: "Of course we do, Ike."

Emma: "Even when parents get angry and argue, we still love each other deep down."

Spike: "And thanks to you, we were reminded why we need to be in love with one another. And also why it's always important to talk about our problems, but why we shouldn't get carried away when we do that."

Emma: "So you helped us, Ike. You should feel very proud."

Ike: "I guess so."

Their son looks better, but still looks uneasy, so Spike says, "How about we head to the playground area and have some fun? Wanna do that?"

Ike: "No..."

Emma: "Do you wanna head home and watch your TV shows?"

Ike: "Yes."

Emma: "Yes ma'am."

Ike: "Yes ma'am."

Spike: "Wanna pretend you're 'Super Ike' on the way?"

Ike: "Yes, daddy!"

Spike smiles at his son's positive mood change and quickly lays flat on his stomach. He touches his chin to the ground as Ike carefully sits on top of Spike's forehead where there aren't any quills. Spike slowly stands up, putting his paws on his son's waist while doing so, and then runs forward while going "Whoooooossssssshhhhhhhhh!"

Ike spreads his arms forward and starts giggling in excitement as his mind envisions that he's a super hero flying through the sky. Emma makes sure to tag closely by them, while reminding herself that the next time they bring up her necklace issue she will be more open-minded. She has no doubts that Spike will be the same as well, especially since the two intend to have Ike with them to be their little mediator whose very presence will ensure they don't heat things up as much as they have today.

I would like to thank TheIceAgeMan77342 for suggesting this kind of argument to happen between Spike and Emma without knowing that Ike is present. Hopefully I met his expectations, and intend to do so for other suggestions he has given me via PMs.

---

Back at the log after the bats fell asleep...

Once the family has dispersed, Bernard and Mary approach Rick as he is adjusting the portable hospital curtain.

Bernard: "Uncle Rick?"

Rick: "Yes, Bernard?"

Bernard: "Can we see our mommy?"

Rick should have known that this would happen, and knows he must do his best to prevent any more damage to befall the kids of a friend who is like a brother to him. He owes RJ that much at least.

Rick: "She needs to rest as much as possible. So how about you kids go play to clear your heads of—"

Mary: "We know she needs rest, and we promise not to wake her up. We just wanna see her."

It's like Mary knows his game when she had replied too quickly for him to dismiss the subject. Like any adult, Rick moves on to Plan B: scare the kids from doing something they'll regret.

Rick: "I...wouldn't recommend it. She looks bad. Even for a grown-up like me, it's almost too much."

Bernard starts to silently reconsider after hearing that, but his sister is unyielding.

Mary: "We just have to see her, Uncle Rick. Just for a moment. Please..."

Bernard mirrors his sister's look as they gaze into Rick's eyes. Rick knows all too well the aching desire to know something, even if it's horrifying, that is in the opossacoons' eyes. After the adult raccoon's little brother had been attacked by a grizzly bear when Rick was just five-years-old, Rick's parents and adult friends prevented him from seeing Riley while they worked to save the four-year-old's life. Even when they failed, Rick asked to see his little brother, despite how bad it would be, simply because he had to. It was the only way he could have found closure, and find it he did. That wouldn't have been possible if his parents had chosen to not allow it.

And now it looks like Bernard and Mary need that same closure, and Rick shouldn't deny them that. In addition, Heather will live, so Rick sees only minor damage in letting the kits see their mother.

Rick: "Okay...Take my paws."

Mary grabs Rick's right paw and Bernard grabs the left one, and all three move around one of the hospital curtains. Once in view of their mother, Mary and Bernard gasps in horror as they immediately regret their decision to push Rick to let them see Heather.

The female opossum looks more dead than alive with closed and sunken eyes, all the brightness drained from her white face fur that makes her look ghostlike, unstable and labored breathing, and a body cast around her back and hip. It's the equivalent of seeing someone on life support, where the machine is the only thing keeping them alive. But with Heather, the only things keeping her alive are the casts, pain medications, her above-average physique, and strong will.

Mary (whimpering): "M-m-m-mommy...?"

Bernard is in so much shock that can't even speak, and nearly faints for real. Rick stops this by tightening his grip on Bernard's paw and pulling him forward. Bernard is grateful for the save because if he had passed out, he'd probably have another nasty dream. That thought doesn't make sleeping tonight very appealing, but Bernard quickly responds to Rick as if the kit never wrestled with those two dreary thoughts.

Bernard: "Th-thank you, Uncle Rick."

Rick: "I told you two it wouldn't be pretty. But like your dad said, she will recover in time." (To Bernard) "You'll need to sleep next to your dad for a while, too, because it's too dangerous for anything to be in her pouch until she starts feeling better."

Bernard: "I...understand."

Wanting to brighten the kids' moods, Rick adds, "How about you go play with my sons? I'm sure they're at the Pad."

Mary: "Yeah. Sounds good."

Bernard: "Uh-huh."

Rick: "C'mon."

The siblings take one last look at their mom's weak form, sigh in depression, and then let the older raccoon take them away.

When they get to the Pad, Roger, Ty, and Plushie aren't playing games or watching TV, but are gathered around a video camera. That alone is enough to gauge the opossacoons' curiosity, but when the three teens start laughing out loud, Mary's and Bernard's brains immediately drop all thoughts of Heather and they're in the mood to join the fun themselves.

Mary: "What're you guys watching?"

Plushie: "Check out this old video of your dad, and Cousins Bucky, Quillo, and Spike filming Uncle Hammy."

Roger: "It's hilarious!"

Ty: "Rewind the whole vid, Plushie."

The turtle finishes doing that by the time the opossacoons gather around. As soon as the "Play" button is pressed, the four raccoon-animals and one reptile see the nine-year-old Bucky and Quillo confirm that the camera is on. Quillo then holds up a sign reading "RJ's Wide Woɿld of NatuЯ," whereby the camera pans right to show a 22-year-old RJ holding the hand grip of his golf club like a microphone.

Mary: "Wow! Daddy was so young back then."

Ty: "Keep quiet."

The animals focus on RJ as he welcomes viewers to RJ's Wide World of Nature, introduces Bucky, Quillo, and Spike as his crew, and then shows today's subject: Hammy the squirrel. RJ gives some brief facts about the American red squirrel as well as Hammy's hobbies, then says "Let's see what happens when Hammy discovers this boomerang." Bucky holds up the boomerang while Quillo goes "Ta-Da!" The four leave the boomerang on the ground and hide in the hedge. When Spike says "This is gonna be so sweeeeeet!" in an excited tone, the viewers know they're in for some Triple-A entertainment.

Note: All you OTH fans know that the video about to be watched is Hammy's Boomerang Adventure. For those of you who haven't watched it yet, see what you've been missing out on all these years by looking it up on YouTube (or on your copy of the Over the Hedge DVD) RIGHT NOW BEFORE reading on because the next two paragraphs contain major spoilers for Hammy's Boomerang Adventure.

The next minute and fourteen seconds is full of laughable hijinks as Hammy tries and fails to get rid of the ever-spawning boomerang in some of the most ridiculous ways imaginable. The viewers have a ball and laugh so hard that it feels like their sides will split. But then, like always, Verne comes into the video and stops the fun right after RJ reveals that he and the porcupine triplets had a box full of boomerangs the whole time. The camera is thrown on the ground and Verne gives RJ and the kids a lecture. The fun resumes when Hammy discovers the video camera, tastes it, takes it in his paws, and then bumps into Spike with it. After that, RJ crosses his heart while promising Verne that he and his crew will never play pranks on the family with a video camera again. Ty would have shut off the video, had he (and the others watching) not seen RJ smile and let out a brief chuckle.

The video goes to blue screen with a "Pause" caption, then starts rolling with RJ welcoming viewers to another episode of RJ's Wide World of Nature, but now the sign reads "RJ's Wide Woɿld of NatuЯ: Unrated Version." Hammy is alongside the porcupines this time, and as RJ says it best, their subject is now "The naked American box turtle." The camera goes through the hedge and shows Verne holding a loofa brush and humming as he bathes in a pond without his shell on. He quickly notices the camera runs over to it, angrily berates the camera crew, throws the camera to the ground, and chases RJ through the hedge while swinging his loofa brush at the raccoon. Hammy puts on Verne's shell and then runs around while wearing it. The video truly ends when Bucky comes back through the hedge and shuts off the camera.

Ty, Roger, Plushie, Mary, and Bernard lay on their backs and crack up in laughter. None of the adults who hear them pay any mind and simply assume those kids are just watching funny videos, which is basically true. But had they known which video, they would have questioned how the five found the camera that Verne supposedly hid and deleted.

Once the laughter ends, Roger says to Plushie, "Your uncle was a stick in the mud, even back then!"

Plushie (angsty tone): "He's always a stick in the mud. Always worrying, always chastising, and always micromanaging everything and everyone."

The other four raise an eyebrow at the harsh way that Plushie just responded.

Roger: "I...was only having fun, Plushie."

Plushie's tone changes to one of embarrassment and he stammers out, "Oh, uhh. M-my bad."

Ty: "Plushie...is there something going on with you and—?"

Plushie (in a hurry to change the subject): "Say, you guys wanna see more episodes of RJ's Wide World of Nature?"

Bernard: "There's more?"

Ty: "Even I didn't know that."

Plushie: "Heh-heh, check it out!"

Plushie reaches into his shell and pulls out an SD card that shines in the sunlight.

Plushie: "I swiped this from my Uncle's nap spot. It was buried, but I dug it up."

Mary: "Wouldn't your aunt and uncle not approve of that?"

Plushie: "They don't approve of anything. But unlike them, I'm fun."

Needing to go somewhere more discrete, the five venture into the woods past the hedgies' main living area. Once the find a good spot, Plushie loads in the SD card and the five kids have one of the best 20 minutes of their lives as they watch more episodes of RJ's Wide World of Nature. They were all filmed around the same time, and follow the same formula of RJ and his porcupine crew videotaping family members and playing pranks on them.

For "The Opossum Episode," RJ and the triplets kept dropping items from below near Ozzie who tried to play possum, but couldn't because just as one object missed him, right before he fainted, he was freighted by another object. The video ended when Heather showed up and warned them that anymore horseplay might give Ozzie a heart attack.

"The Porcupine Episode" had Lou and Penny trying to spend some quality time together, only to be constantly interrupted by having to deal with their crazy kids.

"The Persian Cat Episode" featured Tiger as he struggled to adjust to living in the woods. Just as Stella convinced him to try something for the first time, a balloon popped, a whoopee cushion deflated, or air horn blew which made Tiger jump and his hair stand on end while letting out the "Scardey Cat" Rrreow!

"The Skunk Episode" showed Stella picking up and smelling flowers, whose sweet aroma she envied, and then trying to figure out who kept spraying stink spray out of nowhere. Unlike the previous episodes, this one ended with Stella gassing the whole crew when she discovered they were filming her.

The SD card also featured videos of additional animals once new members were added to the family. "The Raccoon Episode" had Rick's and Luby's make-out sessions be interrupted by water balloons and camera flashes. It didn't last as long as the other videos, because the two raccoons used their intellect to quickly figure out who the culprits were and film the triplets and RJ getting punished when the whole family—wanting to get some sweet revenge from getting pranked—pelted them with water balloons.

"The Bats Episode" had RJ and his crew lightly hit one bat with a bat-sized pillow, hide, and then see Simon and his family grow increasingly impatient as they tried to figure out who was hitting them. The video ended when the bats worked together to pretend to go back to sleep and then hit the porcupines and RJ with their own pillows.

"The Skunat Episode" had the crew make a dare with De'Ausha that she couldn't go a single day without using her skunk spray. Numerous pranks followed that were disguised as everyday mishaps in an attempt to make De'Ausha to use her skunk spray in retaliation: stepping on sticker bush leaves, bathing in a giant water bug-infested pond, using the little ladies bush in a social spider colony, and climbing up a poison oak vine. The skunat resisted, until the giggling of the crew revealed that those mishaps were staged all along.

And finally, "The Wolf Episode" had RJ go "Wolf-fishing" by having a small bit of steak hooked to his fishing pole whereby he reeled it in just as a hungry Kale tried to eat the meat. It was a windy day, so the audio was pretty distorted, but RJ timed each reel so that it seemed to Kale that the wind was blowing the meat away. It ended when Kale noticed the nearly-invisible fishing line and yanked RJ out of hiding, where the wolf ranted out some Spanish curse phrases and snapped the fishing pole in half. That revelation made it clear to the viewers that the fishing pole RJ has been using since then has been a replacement.

Having seen every episode, Roger sums it all up when he says, "Man. I. Love. Our family!"

Plushie: "Whenever my Uncle doesn't spoil the fun, it's pretty great!"

Mary: "Daddy was such a joker!"

Bernard: "And Cousins Bucky, Quillo, and Spike were the coolest kids around—until us four came in, of course!"

Roger: "So true, Cuz. So very true!"

The two high-four and then all eyes fall on Ty who has yet to make a single comment after all the videos ended.

Mary: "Why're you so quiet, Ty?"

Ty: "Did'ja notice that none of the videos focused on Uncle RJ?"

The others look at each other in bewilderment at the truth of Tyler's words, and his amazing observation skills.

Mary: "Why would it focus on him? He's gotta be the host of the show, not the star."

Ty (with mischievous glee in his eyes): "That doesn't mean there shouldn't be an episode where we prank him."

That produces many mixed reactions with some smiling and others looking unsure. But seeing where his brother is going with this, Roger feels more envious than excited. The reason is because Tyler, despite being younger than Roger, is more of a leader and in-charge. Roger used to be that way, but in recent years, as Roger's interests have shifted more to learning about magic tricks, Ty has really stood up to the batting plate when it comes to thinking up a game plan. Before Roger can think of anything else along those jealous lines, Bernard speaks.

Bernard: "Prank our daddy? No way! Not after what happened to mommy today. He'd ground us forever."

Mary: "But think about the fun we'll have! We'd be doing something like a raccoon, Bernard. He'll like us more because of it, just like he did when I made us go get out own golf bags."

Bernard finds himself agreeing with his sister when he recalls the fresh memory of how proud RJ had looked when he and Mary showed him their golf bags after jumping onto the golf cart. Any doubts that still exist are eradicated when Plushie's next comment seals the deal.

Plushie: "And maybe a little laughter is what he needs to get his mind off Aunt Heather."

Bernard: "Okay. Let's do it!"

Plushie: "There's still plenty of space left in the current SD card. We just gotta find where your dad is."

Mary and Bernard in unison: "I know. Follow me."

The kids then head off toward the direction of RJ's hammock napping spot, camera in paw.

---

Five minutes later, the quintet of kids are in eyesight of RJ at his location and have brought pepper shakers with them for the prank they intend to do.

Once Ty had recognized the surroundings during their trek, he had quickly went to the front of the small group.

Now leading, Ty holds up a "Stop" hand gesture and says, "Hold it right here. Hide in that bush now." (Points to a bush on the right)

The others obey in an instant, but Roger, still wanting to outdo his little brother in some form or another, asks, "What's going on?" (Snarky) "Losing you nerve, little brother?"

Ty: "No, you fool, we gotta start our video here where he can't see us."

Roger: "Oh..."

Ty: "You darn right, 'Oh.' Get your head in the game, magician-wannabe."

Roger: "You little! I oughta—!"

Pushie: "Guys, chill out before you give us away. I'll be the camera man since I can't climb trees. Bernard, you'll be my commentator."

Bernard energetically says, "Yay!", excited about his task, and relieved that he doesn't have to climb any trees.

Ty: "Keep it down, Bernard. And since this was my idea, I get to be the one who introduces the show."

Mary: "Fair enough."

Plushie: "Everyone move so that all I can see is Ty."

Once the others do that, Ty says, "Ready when you are, Plushie."

Plushie: "Okay, we're going live and in color in," (Holds up fingers and counts down with each number) "5, 4, 3, 2, 1!"

The camera starts recording and Ty is front and center when he opens with, "Greeting everyone, I'm Ty. Today me and my trusty crew—consisting of my brother Roger, and cousins Bernard, Mary, and Plushie—welcome you to a very special episode of RJ's Wide World of Nature, this time featuring RJ himself as our subject."

The camera had faced the animals as Ty named them, with Plushie doing a selfie-hold for his name, and is now peeking through a gap in the bush looking in RJ's direction.

Ty: "I would fill you in on some details about RJ, but let's have his kids do that for us."

The camera faces Bernard and Mary who, remembering how RJ had started every episode of his prank show, smile as they speak; demonstrating their possum-inherited acting talent with each enthusiastic delivery.

Bernard: "RJ is our daddy—"

Mary: "—The best daddy in the whole world!—"

Bernard: "—And he's a raccoon. Raccoons originated in North America, but are now found in Germany, France, Spain, Italy, nine countries that were once part of the Soviet Union, and Japan."

Mary: "In addition to their unique physical appearance of eye masks" (points to her own mask) "and ring tails," (points to her raised ring tail) "raccoons' reputation for being smart, sneaky, and their thievery has made them one of the most common animals seen in pop culture."

Bernard: "But our daddy is better than most raccoons. He uses a golf bag full of never-ending tricks and trinkets to go on heists, get out of a sticky situation, or just for R&R."

Plushie turns the camera back on RJ while Mary says, "One of RJ's favorite hobbies is dancing and lip singing while listening to music, with his favorite genre being rock n' roll."

Bernard: "But he has a secret...He's got a soft spot for heavy-metal and punk rock! And when he dances and pretends to sing those, he goes absolutely nuts!"

Mary: "But we'll see how nuts he'll get when he tries dancing and singing while me, Roger, and Ty go up into the trees above and sprinkle some pepper down on him."

The camera shows Roger and Ty holding pepper shakers in one paw each. The twin brothers give each shaker one shake while chuckling. Mary then grabs a pepper shaker for herself, and then the three animals quietly exit the bush and head for the closest trees, which they begin to climb.

The camera then goes back to Bernard who says, "While those three are pranking daddy, I'll be here with Plushie and give the pranksters the signal if daddy looks up in their direction.

"Now sit back, relax, and get ready for a ride that'll knock your socks off—even if you're not wearing socks!"

Pluhsie focuses on RJ again, but quietly praises Bernard's stupendous acting. Although Mary wasn't doing so bad herself, every word, voice inflection, body language, facial expression, eye movement, and even the way Bernard moved his mouth while speaking held Plushie's full attention and investment. The teenage—but sadly not mutant, ninja—turtle had to force himself to get the camera off Bernard when it was time to show Mary, Roger, and Ty. There's no doubt that what the male opossacoon kit lacks in courage he more than makes up for it in his ability to give a fun and memorable performance. But he won't be the focus of this video, the real star will be RJ, who, little do the pranksters know, is not in the best of moods.

---

Strangely, RJ doesn't feel like napping once he had gotten to his hammock spot. His mind is racing with all sorts of thoughts and regrets, so he's not tired.

No. RJ is angry.

His heist plan was a total failure, so that must mean he's losing his touch. He had underestimated the humans' reaction, so that must mean he's getting too cocky. He was unable to remain conscious after withstanding Rebecca's pheromones, which means he's getting physically and mentally weaker. Even worse, he finds himself blaming Rebecca in part for thinking about who-knows-what that made her give off so many pheromones. He also thinks the blame should fall on the other family members for not moving in when Bernard fell to the ground. But worst of all, he finds himself actually blaming his son for playing possum instead of running for cover.

In short, everything he had told the family before about not blaming anyone and for not wishing for things to have turned out different than they did, turned out to be a lie in his heart, which is just as bad if he had intentionally lied to them all out loud...Like he did to everyone he had met during his days as a drifter...Like he did to his current family the first week he met them, when he had abandoned them and took the food they had worked so hard to gather to save his own neck . The look in Verne's eyes of utter and absolute betrayal right before RJ fled out of Gladys's house will always be seared into the raccoon's memory. He can only imagine the look on Rebecca's, Bernard's, and the others' faces if they figure out he had lied to them today.

With so many bad thoughts swirling in his head, RJ knows of only one way to cure it: a very angry punk rock song. He gets out an iPod from his golf bag, plugs it into a speaker, highlights the song he wants to listen to in order to vent out his anger, and goes ahead and turns up the volume to full blast before he has even played it. During all of this, the raccoon fails to pick up the scents of Roger, Ty, Mary, Bernard, and Plushie as they entered his area and as the first three climb up into the tree branches above him. He hasn't started the song yet because he takes time to enjoy the way his mind works. He had selected the song wisely, one that should tell his subconscious to shut up and leave him alone, while he thinks about more positive things. The song is an angsty punk rock fan's dream come true: "Not Listening" by Papa Roach.

Certain that this song will put him in a better mood by the time it's over, RJ grabs his golf club to use as a pretend stage microphone, and presses "Play."

Note: "Not Listening" is a song copyright by Papa Roach and his album, Getting Away with Murder. Even if you're not into punk rock, this one's got a good beat, so do yourself a favor and open a link in another tab while reading the lyrics. Like always I'm editing out explicit language, but this time in a different way than mere characters such as #%*.

A single electric guitar plays aggressive- and sharp-sounding notes in the prelude. The sound of the singer's voice matches the tone of the guitar's opening notes as he sings. The drums that start beating crescendo as they, the guitar, and singer get louder, and all seem to be yelling angrily when the main chorus starts.

I'm not listening, not anymore
The more I learn, the more I ignore

I'm not listening, not anymore
The more I hear, the more I ignore
I'm not listening, not anymore. No

In the brief song gap, RJ's nose starts itching a lot for some reason. The itching is so bad that it's instantly too late to prevent himself from sneezing. And unfortunately for him, he is also the kind of guy who doesn't just sneeze once, but lets out a chain of sneezes. While sneezing, he loses his footing, but grips his golf club with both paws to prevent himself from falling to the ground.

'Cause you gotta be bigger,

RJ: "Ah-choo!"

be faster,

RJ: "Ah-choo!"

be stronger

RJ: Ah-choo!"

If you're gonna survive any longer

RJ: "Ah-choo!"

In this lifetime it better be the right time
The first time might be your last time

During the previous two lines, RJ looks bewildered and briefly tries to piece together what made him sneeze. But he shrugs it off and gets back to singing and dancing when the song picks up the next stanza.

Am I a failure, if I got nothing to lose
No I'm not a failure, I got something to prove

RJ takes his pretend microphone close to his mouth with his left paw while swinging his whole right arm in big circles when the main chorus resumes.

I'm not listening, not anymore
The more I learn, the more I ignore
I'm not listening, not anymore
The more I hear, the more I ignore,
The more I ignore

RJ is down on his knees now and just as he stands back up to dance some more, his nose itches again and another round of sneezes comes out.

'Cause I've lost my innocence

RJ: "Ah-choo!"

And I'm a stranger,

RJ: "Ah-choo!"

A life changer

RJ: "Ah-choo!"

RJ then pinches his nose shut with his fingers which prevents anymore sneezing. He misses singing and dancing the next few verses while he briefly looks around and up in the air to see if there's anything in it that's causing him to sneeze.

I'm a man that's not afraid of danger
I walk my own path, and blaze my own trail
Because I'm not afraid to derail

RJ has finished looking by now and doesn't notice anything in the air that could be causing him to sneeze. So he gets ready to dance some more when the next verse starts.

I won't get in line, or be a middle man

Suddenly, the itching in RJ's nose is back, and it somehow feels worse than before. He doesn't even have time to pinch his nose before another sneezing fit happens.

So

RJ: "Aaah-choo!"

I'll make my own plan
And I got respect,

RJ: "Aaah-choo!"

and I don't neglect
The people that I really care to protect

RJ: "Ah-choo!"

Am I a failure,

RJ: "Ah-choo!"

if I got nothing to lose

RJ: "Ah-"

No I'm not a failure,

RJ: "-choo!"

I got something to prove

I'm not listening, not anymore

RJ: "Ah-choo!"

The more I learn, the more I ignore

RJ: "Ah-choo!"

I'm not listening, not anymore

RJ: "Ah-choo!"

The more I hear, the more I ignore

Upset that he missed dancing and singing to the main chorus, RJ moves to a different spot and makes sure he doesn't miss singing and dancing to the next stanza.

I told you before, won't listen no more
I told you before, let's settle the score
I told you before, won't listen no more
I told you before, let's settle the sco-o-o-o-o-o-ore

RJ actually matches the singer's volume when the raccoon too screams "sco-o-o-o-o-o-ore" in rage. The raccoon is starting to lose his temper. It's clear to him now, during the musical interlude, that it's no accident; he knows that something has to be making him sneeze. Not only that, but even when he successfully sings and dances without sneezing, RJ isn't feeling any better. The song is fueling, rather than reducing, his rage of the events that have happened today. However, he's the kind of guy who must finish what he's set his mind to, so he picks back up on the singing and dancing when the song continues.

If not me then who?
If not now then when?
If not me then who?
If not now then when?

I'm not listening, not anymore
The more I learn, the more I ignore
I'm not listening, not anymore
The more I hear, the more I ignore,

Just as RJ gets his hopes up about finishing the song without any more mishaps, his nose itching returns.

I told you before,

RJ: "Ah-choo!"

won't listen no more

RJ: "Ah-choo!"

I told you before,

RJ: "Ah-choo!"

let's settle the score
I told you before, won't listen no more
I told you before, let's settle the sco-o-o-o-o-o-ore

Set it off right now

RJ: "AAAAHHH-CHOO!"

Blow it up, set it off

RJ: "AAAAAHHHH-CHOOOOOO!"

it up, set it off

RJ: "AAAHH-CHOOOO!"

Blow it up, Blow it up

RJ: "Ah!"

Right,

RJ: "AHHHHH!—"

n-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w!

RJ: "—CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The instant that the drum beats conclude the song, RJ hears the sound of cackling laughter from a nearby bush. With fire in his eyes, RJ runs over to bush as fast as lighting, ready to whack the trouble-maker upside the head with his golf club that he's brandishing.

RJ: "Can't just let a guy have his fun, eh?! Well, I'll give you something to laugh about whoever you—!"

At the exact same time as RJ parts the bush with his paws and raises his golf club in the air, Bernard yells, "It's me, daddy!"

RJ: "—Are?!"

RJ's anger is instantly replaced with confusion...until he sees Plushie and the video camera.

RJ: "Wait a second...Are you two...?"

Mary's voice: "Don't blame him, daddy! I came up with the idea to sprinkle pepper on you."

RJ turns around and sees Mary, Ty, and Roger climbing down tree trunks.

Roger: "All three of us."

Ty: "Yeah, and it was my idea to film us pranking you."

Plushie: "And I showed them all the tapes of your RJ's Wide World of Nature that inspired us to do it in the first place."

All the kids watch RJ as his brain processes what has been told to him. A few seconds later, RJ holds out his paw toward Plushie and says, "Lemme see the camera," in a cold tone devoid of any emotion expect contained rage.

Plushie gulps as he does what he's told, and everyone becomes anxious and uneasy as RJ rewinds and watches the whole video.

---

The camera shows RJ dancing and lip singing to the opening stanza and main chorus, then pans up to show Roger, Ty, and Mary sprinkling pepper shakers from tree branches above RJ.

Bernard: "Here it co-omes..."

Bernard and Plushie stifle their giggles at the sight of RJ's first round of sneezes. When RJ begins dancing again, Bernard says, "As expected, RJ thinks it was all just some strange, inexplicable occurrence and will try to keep dancing and singing. But we. Have got. Other. Plans!"

Bernard surprisingly keeps himself from laughing during RJ's second round of sneezes. The reason is apparent when the camera zooms in on Bernard as he briefly steps outside of the bush and gives the three in the trees the signal to hide. Bernard gets back inside and the camera shows the two raccoons and one female opossacoon get out of sight. As expected, RJ looks up into the branches but doesn't see anything. Soon, the camera then pans up to show the trio start shaking more pepper, and even going to follow RJ when he tries moving to a different area to dance and lip sing.

Bernard: "Daddy won't let this one slide. In his mind, once is a rare occurrence, twice is accidental, but thrice is intentional. Most humans think raccoons are harmless because they look so cute, but in reality, raccoons are highly aggressive and temperamental, and my daddy can take the cake. Just observe."

The part when RJ screams angrily while singing "sco-o-o-o-o-o-ore" provides Plushie and Bernard with the perfect noise to drown out the sound of their cackling laughter. When RJ's back is turned, Bernard sticks a paw outside the bush and gives a signal unseen by the camera.

After pulling his paw back in, he looks at the camera and says, "Hope you've been enjoying our program so far, because now it's time for the finale!"

Plushie and Bernard have a ball seeing RJ's last round of sneezing and don't bother keeping their laughter in check since there's more than enough noise to hide their own.

Bernard (while giggling): "L-ladies and gentlemen...Heh-heh. RJ: the raccoon whose g-genius intellect ha-ha-has outsmarted and—ha!—defeated bears, ba-hah-dgers, cougars, a-and wolves. Defeated by MERE PEPPER! Ahh-ha-ha-ha-haaaaahhhh!"

At this point in the video, Plushie and Bernard are laughing so hard they don't realize when the music stops, and only notice RJ coming at them when it's almost too late for them to avoid a hit. The tape stops just as Bernard gets RJ to not hit him.

---

As the tape played RJ had let out some angry-sounding groans at the video's "key moments of comedy," each groan feeling like a nail being driven through the punishment coffin of the mischievous kids. Now that it's over, RJ lets out a long and annoyed sigh—a final nail in the coffin—making the kids know that they're in some of the biggest trouble of their lives.

RJ: "After our disastrous heist that nearly got my mate killed, I needed time to unwind...And you five thought it would be funny to prank me while I tried to relax and get all bad things off my mind...?"

The kids look down and collectively say "Yes, sir..." in depressed voices; the kind of tone that accompanies any person who realizes just how much they messed up.

RJ (to Ty): "Tyler. You were the brains behind the whole antic..."

Ty nervously rubs his right arm with his left paw.

RJ (to Roger): "Roger. You and your brother sprinkled pepper on me..." (To Mary) "Including you, Mary, my own daughter..."

Roger's and Mary's ears droop down while they lowers their heads in shame.

RJ (to Bernard): "Bernard. You provided 'colorful' commentary about me before and during the pepper shower..."

Bernard's ears droop down while he lowers his head in shame.

RJ (to Plushie): "Plushie. You videoed me while the prank went on."

Pluhsie starts sinking down in his shell.

RJ: "Don't hide your face from me! I'm not done yet."

Plushie reluctantly reemerges from his shell.

RJ: "You kids should know better than to make an already angry person become furious." (facing Roger and Ty) "I will be telling your parents," (facing Plushie) "Your aunt and uncle," (facing Mary and Bernard) "And your mother when she wakes up," (looks at everyone) "about what all of you did." (Looks at Roger, Ty, and Plushie) "I don't know what Luby, Rick, Velma, and Verne will do to punish you three, but I'm sure it'll include what I'm about to do to my twins."

Any hope the three teenagers felt about avoiding immediate punishment is lost with RJ's last statement just now. Roger, Tyler, and Plushie already feel guilty about whatever will befall Mary and Bernard.

RJ looks his children in the eyes and says in a stern voice, "You two are grounded. No sweets, no TV, no videogames, and no playground time for a week. You're also not allowed to invite any friends over, or go to their homes to play with them. The same goes for family members, who you can only see and talk to at meals—under my and Heather's close watch. Understand?"

Mary and Bernard in unison: "We understand, daddy."

RJ: "Good. Now onto the next thing."

Ty: "Wait, there's more?"

RJ: "I'm only halfway finished with what I have to say to all of you."

At this point, Mary realizes she was so wrong about how her father would react to their practical joke. She thought she knew him better than anyone in the family, what with all the time they spend together, how hard she tries to impress him, and how she's such a natural at being more like a raccoon than a possum. She guessed wrong.

Mary thinking: "What was I thinking when I thought daddy would appreciate me and Bernard's antics as a way to prove that we're both clever and fun like raccoons are? After what happened to mommy, I should've known better. I...made the same mistake I did the other day when I suggested Bernard, Sam, and Aaron to travel back home alone, just in another form."

RJ: "So, in regards to all you kids' actions..."

Everyone holds their breaths, closes their eyes, and cringes their faces as they prepare to be given an intense talking-to and possible corporal punishment session.

Mary thinking: "Here it comes. Daddy will lecture and spank us until the cows come home..."

But Mary is wrong again, because she forgot to remember how unpredictable raccoons can be. RJ starts making an odd sound, the sound none of them thought to hear from him given the circumstances.

He laughs. He laughs like he hasn't laughed in years. The instant the kids open their eyes, they see RJ smiling the brightest he has ever smiled. RJ opens his arms as wide as they'll go and hugs everyone at once.

RJ: "You kids got me good! Ha-ha-ha! Sprinkling pepper on me while I tried to dance and lip sing to punk rock: GENIUS! All of you make me so proud to be your father and uncle!"

Mary: "W-wait, you actually liked it?"

RJ: "Liked it? I loved it!"

Ty: "But what about all the groans you made while watching the video?"

RJ: "That was me struggling to hold back my laughter. But it fooled you, didn't it?"

Plushie: "The anticipation of what you were going to say to us scared a year off my life."

Due to his acting talent being the greatest among the other kids, Bernard has the hardest time believing his father's groans were anything but made out of anger. On a previous family caper centered around creating chaos on humans with a drone, Bernard had thought only his mom or maternal grandfather were worthy enough to critique he and his sister's opossum acting talents. He doesn't think so anymore.

Bernard thinking: "If daddy was able to hide his joy as he watched the video, he may have opossum DNA in his genes after all."

Mary: "But why aren't you as mad at us as we thought you'd be?"

RJ: "I was wondering when one of you would ask that question. Here's why: after all the things that have happened today, laughter was the best medicine I needed! And what better way to make me laugh than by having my own son, daughter, and nephews continuing what I started with RJ's Wide World of Nature!"

Roger: "Whoa...You had us really worried for a moment there, Uncle RJ."

RJ: "Don't get me wrong, you're all still grounded. But take it from me, it'll be the happiest week of your lives because it will be worth it for the laughs you had today! All the pranks that Bucky, Quillo, Spike, and me did on the rest of the family was worth getting gassed by Stella, hit repeatedly with pillows by the bats, and ganged-up-on with water balloons!"

Mary: "Well, I just thought sprinkling pepper on you was different from the other pranks in the videos we watched, so that idea just came to me."

RJ: "Of course it did, you're a true raccoon, Mary. You saw an opportunity, thought outside the box, took risks, and prevailed like you always do! That's why you're my favorite-only daughter!"

Mary can't believe her ears. Her father just acknowledged the one thing she has been trying to demonstrate to him for her whole life: that she was a true raccoon! She's so happy that she can only stammer out a shocked but joyful, "Oh my...Th-thanks, daddy."

RJ kisses her on the forehead and turns over to face his son.

RJ: "And your narration and getting into character as you used some of my previous successes that I've told you about against me reminded me of myself when I was 22—only you're just 11, so you were better than me when I was literally twice your age! That's why you're my favorite-only son!"

Bernard is more eager than surprised—but just as happy—when he responds with, "Thanks! I love you, daddy!"

Bernard and Mary wrap their arms around RJ who wastes no time returning their hugs. When the blood-relatives let go, RJ walks toward Ty, Roger, and Plushie.

RJ: "I should replace Bucky, Quillo, and Spike with you three as my new crew for RJ's Wide World of Nature. You showed the skill, knowledge, humor, and imagination that so few creatures possess. I'm still telling your folks that you need to be punished, but I'll also do my best to put a good word in for you three when I remind Luby, Rick, Verne, and Velma how much fun even they had when me and my old crew pranked them."

After a brief gasp of happiness, Roger and Ty say in unison, "Thank you!"

Ty: "You're my—"

Roger: "—Favorite uncle—"

Ty: "—in the whole family—"

Roger and Ty in unison: "—Uncle RJ!"

Plushie nearly joined the raccoon brothers' words—he wanted to join them—but didn't because that would raise too many red flags for him to admit that he prefers someone not related to himself (or his species) over his biological uncle.

Instead, Plushie says, "If anything happens to my aunt and uncle, I want you to adopt me because you're the best guy I know!"

RJ: "No way, Plushie, you're the best for finding where I hid the SD card containing my whole RJ's Wide World of Nature series."

Pluhsie: "Hold on. You hid the video recordings in my Uncle's Verne's-Time-Spot?"

RJ: "Sure did. Verne did delete the video that me and the porcupine triplets had filmed of him once he got to the camera when no one else was around it, but Quillo had already saved the footage on a second SD card. I hid the SD card in Verne's downtime spot because that's the last place he would look for them."

Roger: "Makes sense."

Ty: "Hey, I was gonna say that."

Roger: "I know, that's why I said it first."

Roger sticks his tongue out at Ty, who silently vows, "Next time, big brother...Just you wait."

RJ: "Okay kids, let's head on back home and show the whole family the latest episode of RJ's Wide World of Nature!"

All five cheer and start running toward home. RJ quickly catches up to his children and puts a paw on each one's shoulder.

RJ: "Wait a moment, kids. I need to talk to both of you about something in private."

All three wait until Roger, Ty, and Plushie are no longer in eyesight, then Mary and Bernard look at their father.

RJ: "The real reason I'm not that mad about your prank on me today is because I see myself in both of you, and I guarantee that your mom will say the same thing when we tell her what you both did. That's why I'm happy instead of mad with you. You're both more like me and your mother in more ways than you think, but you're also unique and special in your own ways, from any other kids on this planet, human and animal. One of these ways is how you two have a knack for reminding me of what I should have been doing all along."

Mary and Bernard in unison: "Wha'd'ya mean, daddy?"

RJ kneels down, puts a paw on each one's shoulder, and says in a soft yet serious voice, "After what happened on the heist today, I started questioning everything about myself and all the choices I've made. I tried to deal with my anger and sadness by myself, like I would do before I met this family. I thought I needed some angry punk rock to help me feel like myself again...when instead, all he needed was to spend time with you two...Thank you for reminding me of what a father should do when horrible things happen. I love you both."

Nothing else had to be said. The family of three embrace one more time and then start heading back home.

---

As the video hijinks have been going on, Rebecca gets to her destination in record time, but notices a piece of paper stuck to her makeshift gymnastics bar with scotch tape. She approaches it, picks it up, and reads it.

Your ribbons ar red,

My eyes ar blu,

And no one wil evr love you

In the way I do.

—G

As if it isn't obvious enough as to who wrote her this note, an energetic voice greets her from behind with, "How do you like it?"

Rebecca turns and sees Garrett with a smile on his face, a purple carnation flower in his right paw, and a chocolate bar in the left paw.

Garrett: "Thought I'd surprise ya!"

Rebecca: "How long have you been waiting here?"

Garrett: "About three hours."

Rebecca: "That long?...No offense, but don't you have anything better to do with your life?"

Garrett: "Not today. My parents and in-laws are all busy, so I figured why not come visit my girlfriend and make up for our little hassle from yesterday?"

Wanting some alone-time fast, Rebecca speaks in a hurried tone.

Rebecca: "I appreciate it, but I'd just like to be left alone right now."

Garrett: "You're not even gonna take the flower or chocolate? I mean, three hours is a long time, and I'd like it to be worth something."

Rebecca (calmly): "Garrett..."

Garrett: "It was the poem, wasn't it? I knew it was too cliché."

Rebecca (impatiently): "Garrett...?

Garrett: "Carnations are still your favorite flower, right? Do you not like the color purple?"

Rebecca (raised voice): "Garrett...!"

Garrett: "Oh, it's the chocolate. I should've gotten you a Hersey's bar instead of a Crunch."

Rebecca (yelling): "JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME, YOU CLINGY CREEP! I WANNA BE ALONE!"

Rebecca gasps and clasps her paws over her mouth, unable to believe what she had just said. What surprises her more than her sudden breakdown is how well Garrett is taking it. He felt and looked surprised and offended for only a moment, but now looks at Rebecca in concern and understanding that she never thought he possessed. The reason is that Garrett is no stranger to arguing with a girlfriend. Had he been 14-years-old or younger, he would have dumped her right then and there and left in a huff, but Garrett has learned a lot from his interactions with female raccoons he dated in the past.

Garrett: "There's something troubling you, isn't there?"

Rebecca sighs and says "Yes..."

Garrett: "So what's wrong?"

Rebecca: "I really don't—"

Garrett gently takes Rebecca's paw into both of his own. In spite of her certainty that she is gay, Rebecca can't deny that she enjoys what Garrett is doing with her right now. She has rarely seen this side of him, and wants him to continue.

Garrett: "Rebecca...You can tell me anything. And trust me, it's better to say things out loud than keeping them all bottled up inside."

Rebecca: "I...I...Alright."

The two walk over to a stump and sit on it.

Rebecca: "My family went on a big heist today. And..."

Garrett: "Take your time."

Little does Garrett know that Rebecca's pause is due to her conflicting feelings about herself. She wants to get some things off her chest, but also can't let Garrett know certain details. Once she thinks of an edited version, she speaks.

Rebecca: "I got distracted thinking about...you."

Garrett: "About me?"

Rebecca: "I released so many pheromones that my big brother passed out. That distracted everyone, which prevented anyone from being able to stop my nephew falling out of the tree we were in, which then led to my brother's mate, Heather, getting hurt very badly while she saved him. Everything just went from bad to worse after that, all because of me."

Garrett: "Did RJ blame you?"

Rebecca: "Of course. And worse, he wasn't that angry."

Garrett: "How is that worse? Shouldn't him not getting mad at you make you feel better?"

Rebecca: "It's because I'm mad at myself. I'd feel a lot better if he yelled at me and demanded me to be punished, but his willingness to just brush me aside until he calms down is just so...empty. It almost makes me feel like I shouldn't worry too much about nearly getting his own mate killed. And the bigger issue is that I need to find a reason to solve my problem or else I might get someone else hurt!"

Garrett: "Well, from what you've told me, the solution to your problem is sitting right here with you."

Seeing Garrett's eyes full of the desire to help her makes Rebecca feel guiltier. She knew her lie about daydreaming of Garrett instead of Raccoon-Sofía would come back to bite her in the tail, just not so soon. Still, she can't deny that, at the time, she enjoyed telling Garrett that she was fantasizing about him instead of a female raccoon because it made her feel normal instead of abnormal. She reckons she has done enough damage to those she cares for today and doesn't want to add Garrett to the list.

Rebecca: "I appreciate it, Garrett, I really do. But I just think I need some time alone to do gymnastics is all I need to feel better."

Garrett: "Can I watch?"

Rebecca: "I...guess no harm can come from it as long as you don't do anything to distract me. And I mean anything."

Garrett caresses the top of her head while saying, "I won't distract you. I promise."

Rebecca: "Say it seriously."

Garrett steps up and does the proper hand motions as he says, "Cross my heart and hope to die."

Rebecca: "Just stay on the stump."

Garrett: "Okay."

Rebecca starts by executing some Grand Jetè leaps; gracefully leaping forward while doing the splits in midair. She does it three times and when she's done, she is in front of her makeshift gymnastics bar made out of two large Y-shaped sticks anchored into the ground and another stick laying horizontally across those trees' tops and held down by two rocks. She does five full spins and times her body momentum so that she does several flips when she lets go. She lands on her feet and starts running, then does three front hand springs. Next, she climbs up a tree and starts doing tricks on her makeshift trapeze bar made of a strong stick tied to vines.

Ever since she started, Garrett is mesmerized by Rebecca's athletic abilities. Her strength, her speed, her finesse, and the way the air flows through her fur, it's all like an optical illusion performed by a magician—and he sure feels like he's under her spell. His heart rate increases, he feels butterflies in his stomach, and his mind if full of images of her perfect body. In a surprising twist for himself, he is aware of the pheromones he begins to emit and quickly stops himself.

Garrett thinking: "Woah, man. Get a grip. Don't release any pheromones or she might get distracted and fall."

But try as he might the more he watches her, the more he desires to touch, caress, hug, and hold that perfect body. Up above, Rebecca smells his pheromones, and decides it's time to call it quits. She would have liked to do some more, but can't risk it. However, it's not because his pheromones will distract her, but rather to keep up her charade. As before, his pheromones aren't stimulating to her, but to keep doing gymnastics while Garrett releases them would arouse his suspicion. She climbs down and upon seeing the pleased look in Garrett's eyes, approaches Garrett cautiously. She stays three feet away from him for safety.

Garrett: "Rebecca...You were...amazing..."

Rebecca gets on her guard at the tone of his voice. It's slurred yet giddy, like he's stoned, which isn't a good sign.

Rebecca: "Thanks, but your pheromones are starting to distract me."

Garrett: "I can't help it. You're just so, perfect in every way."

Rebecca: "You don't sound so good, maybe you should go home."

Garrett: "Au contraire, I haven't felt this good since me and Lizzie's honeymoon."

Rebecca: "Yep, you're not feeling like yourself. You need to head home immediately."

Garrett (stands up): "If you insist. Doctor's orders, eh?"

Rebecca: "Something like that."

Garrett starts walking away, but then turns around and says, "Rebecca...Can I...hug you goodbye?"

Rebecca thinking: "He'll wanna do more than that, Becca. You know he will." (Out loud) "How about I blow you a kiss, instead."

Rebecca does so, but Garrett starts walking erratically forward, still desiring more.

Garrett: "Rebecca...I love you. I want you...I need you."

Rebecca (sternly): "Garrett, you're letting your hormones control your mind instead of your brain. Snap out of it."

Garrett: "Don't you want me too?"

Rebecca: "I—Yes, but not like this."

Garrett: "Just a hug, and I'll go. I promise."

Rebecca decides it's time to stop keeping him waiting. The more she resists the more he'll crave her. She was hoping she wouldn't have to ever do this, but knows there's only one way that will bring him back to his senses.

Rebecca: "Okay, Garrett. A hug."

Garrett: "Thanks, Becca!"

He runs over to her and embraces her in his arms. One second later, his grip becomes uncomfortably tight and he releases more pheromones than ever before.

Rebecca: "Garrett...You're hurting me."

Garrett: "I'll make you feel better..."

Rebecca thinking: "NOW!"

Although Rebecca may not look like it with her fur covering her whole body, all the gymnastics she has done over the years have turned her into a very strong young adult raccoon. That strength is used to its fullest when she steps hard on his left foot, causing Garrett to yell in pain and let go of her. Still under the influence of his lust for Rebecca, he reaches out to grab her, his body slouching forward. That's when Rebecca sidesteps out of his path and knees him in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. He drops to the ground and takes long and painful gasps for a minute, but when he can breathe normally again, he sounds like his usual self. He also has become fully aware of his recent actions, and feels very guilty.

Garrett: "I'm so sorry, Becca...I—"

Rebecca: "I know, and it's okay. You weren't yourself. Let's just leave it at that.

Garrett: "You sure sound like your brother's sister, not being too angry with me after trying to do something so terrible."

Realizing the irony, Rebecca giggles and then smiles while saying, "I, uh, guess I do.

With a little more sense in his words, Garrett says, "But how were you not feeling the same way? Weren't my pheromones driving you crazy?"

Rebecca: "I...just...am able to keep myself more level-headed than you."

Garrett: "You're hiding something, I can tell."

Rebecca: "...I...Well, it's something I need to work on by myself, without any outside help."

Garrett: "You weren't attracted to my pheromones, were you?"

Rebecca: "...Correct..."

When Garrett speaks again, it's in a tone that in no way references his personal beliefs, but one as unbiased and serious as possible, like a scientist explaining a black hole theory.

Garrett: "How is that possible? Seriously? I'm a raccoon who's familiar with how the human and animal worlds works, so I know all the science that goes into the effects of pheromones.

Rebecca: "I d-don't know. It bugs the heck out of me, too."

Garrett: "Didn't you say you gave off a lot of pheromones by thinking about me?"

Rebecca: "Yeah, but—"

Garrett: "So why didn't you emit pheromones when I emitted my own? Scientifically, you shouldn't have been able to resist."

Rebecca: "Like I said, I knew what you wanted to do, and had to make sure I didn't make the same mistake you were about to make. I just wish I didn't have to hurt you...it hurt me on the inside to do that."

Seeing the look on Rebecca's face makes Garrett feel unfathomable guilt. What had started as a sweet and innocent flirting session turned into a textbook example of domestic violence, all because of him repeating the same mistake he did the other day. He decides it's time to drop the subject that's clearly making his girlfriend uncomfortable, and intends to end today's gymnastics area experience in the best way possible, especially since his actions nearly made it the worst experience possible.

Garrett (places a paw over his heart):"But for that, I'm grateful." (Puts his free paw on Rebecca's heart and looks deeply into her eyes while addressing her in full sincerity) "I wouldn't be able to bear the fact that I had hurt you in any way...Forgive me."

Rebecca reaches forward to touch Garrett's heart, and says, "I do."

Her words do wonders for Garrett's spirit, and even her own. Rebecca finds herself somehow becoming increasingly attracted to the raccoon before her...the male raccoon at that. It's not physical or lustful like cases of homosexuality have been. The attractiveness guiding her actions and thoughts now are rather because she feels as if she's touching and talking to the real Garrett, the one who's hidden behind all the bravado and overconfidence, behind the clichéd romance. He smiles and she smiles back. They lose track of how long they remain standing there, tenderly touching each other's hearts, feeling the other's heartbeat in their paws.

Remembering what his family had told him about how Rebecca restored his sanity five years ago, Garrett says, "Feel my heartbeat, Rebecca...My heart beats for you."

Rebecca's eyes water as she realizes Garrett's intention of using those words. She recalls how she lied to him about the reason as to why she really released her pheromones during the heist, how she was certain that she's gay. But Rebecca realizes that the way she's feeling right now is no lie. Her subconscious tells her to stop her charade and break up with him before she causes his heart to break a second time. It's so intense that she stammers aloud.

Rebecca: "I...I...Um, ah..."

Garrett (places two fingers gently on her mouth): "Kiss?"

Rebecca surprises even Garrett when she flings her arms around him and starts the kiss. The two caress each other as they keep kissing, and when they break away to draw in air, they kiss again, this time with their tongues. When they pull away from that kiss, they go back to placing a paw on the other's heart.

Garrett: "I love you, Rebecca."

Rebecca: "I can tell." Wanting to avoid Garrett from questioning why she didn't say "I love you too," Rebecca immediately follows up with, "Who'd have thought me hitting you would cause our relationship to grown stronger?"

Garrett: "But you shouldn't feel bad about literally knocking the sense back onto me. How I see it, maybe that's why we're meant for each other. You're the one who can keep me on-track."

Rebecca: "I suppose that's one way of looking at it."

The two turn their heads at the sound and sight of Mary coming in.

Mary: "Aunt Becca, I was wondering if you could teach me some more gymnastics today?"

Rebecca looks at Garrett who nods.

Rebecca: "Okay, Mary. Just let me tell Garrett goodbye." (To Garret) "I'll see you around, then."

Garrett: "Actually, given how I've acted today, maybe you should come see me when you're ready to see me."

Rebecca (eyes widen): "That's...so mature of you, Garrett. I'm in."

Garrett: "Thanks again, Rebecca. For everything."

Rebecca: "You're welcome." (In a kidding tone) "Just don't date anyone else if you get bored of not seeing me."

Garrett: "Heh, never! Bah-bye!" (Waves while walking off)

Rebecca (waves): "See ya!"

Rebecca watches him as he disappears into the foliage, grateful that she had the skills to prevent anything from going bad today. She then turns to her niece and says, "Okay Mary. Let's warm up with some jumping jacks, and then we'll move on to backhand springs."

Mary: "Yay! Those're my favorite."

Rebecca: "Oh, just for now, but once we start doing the trapeze bar stuff, you may change your opinion."

During the gaps when she isn't coaching Mary, Rebecca thinks back to the ordeal she and Garrett went through today and realizes that, although she felt alarmed when Garrett had grabbed her so hard, she had never felt more alive in any of their time together. More than that, she had never felt more alive in her whole life, even when she was thinking or doing things that related to her homosexuality. That thought of feeling so alive with Garrett makes her recall how she got him out of his vegetative state by kissing and groping him so vigorously. She realizes now that doing all of that had been one of the most intense and amazing feelings she had ever experienced. Granted, it hadn't been enjoyable per se because she did it for medical reasons only, and her most enjoyable experiences were still when she did homosexual-like things. But that doesn't change the fact that none of the other times she has preferred females' pheromones over males' pheromones; smelt womens' hair brushes and deodorant sticks; got amatory thoughts from seeing human women perform gymnastics; spending time with her gal pals; and fantasizing about Raccoon-Sofía came close in comparison to what she did with Garrett back then and what he did to her today.

Rebecca thinking: "If I'm supposed to be gay, why did I feel so stimulated by a male when he grabbed me and tried to do what he tried to do to me? Garrett's pheromones weren't arousing to me, but his actions were...I think I'm gay, but a gay female wouldn't feel the way I did when Garrett did those things to me today. I also really liked playing out my lie about fantasizing over him instead of Raccoon-Sofía, and the talk we had after I got him back to his senses was one of the sweetest and genuine heartfelt dialogues I've ever had with another animal, and the most for a male.

"So are there some things I like more about females and some things I like more about males? I'm certainly not normal, but am I now unsure of where I fall on the abnormal scale? Am I gay, bisexual, pansexual, or just plain crazy?"

Once Mary has finished their lessons for the day, the two head back to the log, but Rebecca is still lost in her thoughts. After still feeling indecisive when she's halfway home, she gets frustrated with her inability to find an answer and cynically muses, "Who am I kidding? I don't know whether or not to feel attracted to someone whether I'm thinking about them or if they're touching me in real life! There's more problems with me than a math book!"

Then, a new idea pops in her head. She recalls the time when Kale was still recuperating with her family and, after a day of spying on the hedgies, had revealed Rogan's and Sarah's favorite way to spend their downtime. She also remembers how passion and romance runs deep in her family, as the reason Rogan exists is because his parents (Rebecca's grandparents on her father's side) were so intensely in love with one another. Could that explain the reason why she strangely liked it when Garrett grabbed her so tightly while full of lust and in-the-moment passion? A gay female wouldn't think that, but here she is again debating with conflicting thoughts. It makes Rebecca question her sexual orientation once again. Earlier today she was certain that she was gay, but now she's questioning that. But the thing that has caused all of this conflict is none other than the time she has spent with Garrett.

That's when another idea comes to her mind. After the talk she and Garrett had today, Rebecca knows that he's a genuine sweetheart, but still impulsive and clingy in that he always wanted to cuddle with her, kiss her, and touch her. But that's also how Rebecca's parents are, and they're one of the most perfectly-matched married couples she knows.

Rebecca thinking: "Maybe...I should try to cuddle with Garrett next time we meet."

For all she knows, that could be the only way to determine if she really is gay or not.

---

At the hedge, five minutes before Mary arrived where Rebecca is...

The minute RJ comes back to the main living area, he gathers the guardians of the pranksters together and tells them what their sons and/or nephew had done to him. Luby, Rick, Verne, and Velma all agree on the same punishment as RJ did for his two kids, but said that punishment will go into effect after they gathered around to watch and laugh at the latest episode of RJ's Wide World of Nature. Having already seen the video, RJ agreed to let Mary go spend her last few hours of free time at Rebecca's spot, and the viewing began shortly after that. When "The RJ Episode" was over, the family went ahead and watched the other videos on the SD card, because they all needed a good laugh after today's disastrous heist. Even Verne couldn't help but crack up at the videos, since he has become more (but not fully) comfortable with RJ's shenanigans since the "Pilot Episode" featuring Hammy and himself.

It was 5 o'clock in the afternoon when Mary and Rebecca came back, but before RJ could ask his daughter and sister how their gymnastics lesson went, Lou approaches RJ. The older father porcupine takes RJ's paw and walks him far enough not to be heard by mumbling and murmurs, "Ozzie woke up 10 minutes ago. He's okay, but he wants to talk to you."

RJ: "Where is he?"

Lou: "With Heather. He needed to spend some alone time with her for a bit, and now he wants you."

RJ nods solemnly. He had been lucky that he didn't have to explain himself in front of Ozzie after arriving back from the heist, but now he needs to face the music.

RJ walks in front of his children, looks down at them, and says, "Go find something to do, kids. Daddy needs to talk to Grandpa Ozzie alone."

After nodding, Bernard and Mary—well aware that their punishment has gone into effect, which means no more electronics—go to a storybook pile. Not for the first time, RJ feels a bit of envy for how young ones like his children have far less worries than adults like him. With a sigh made in dread, he starts walking in the direction of the hospital curtains. Just as RJ thinks about contemplating what he should say to Ozzie, the raccoon drops such thoughts and decides it's better to speak in-the-moment.

RJ parts the hospital curtains and sees Ozzie sitting to his daughter's side, gently caressing her arm. The old possum turns his head at the sound of his son-in-law's entrance and says, "There you are."

RJ: "I was spending time with the kids."

Ozzie: "Rick told me they didn't take seeing their mother like this very well."

RJ: "They saw her?"

Ozzie nods and then turns his attention back to Heather when she groans. He pats her head lightly and whispers, "Hang in there, sweetheart." The groaning continues for half a minute, and when it stops Ozzie looks back at RJ.

Ozzie: "How could this have happened...?"

RJ's confidence sinks as he replies, "It just wasn't our day...Everything that could go wrong, went wrong. And there's only one of me around to try and fix things."

Ozzie: "This is the second time I've had to be by my daughter's side after she nearly died...No parent should have to experience that kind of dread once, much less twice."

RJ knew this is what Ozzie would say, and decides to go ahead and bite the bullet.

RJ: "I understand if you hate me right now, Oz. I hate myself too. I vowed to keep your daughter safe and happy when I married her...and yet here she again, fighting through pain after nearly losing her life because I was unable to protect her."

Ozzie: "Come over here, RJ. Sit beside me."

It was not an invitation, but an order. Ozzie pats the spot on the ground next to where he is sitting, and RJ moves over and sits with his head hung low in shame.

With his eyes still glued to Heather, Ozzie says, "Tell me everything that happened."

RJ feels like he's being physically punished as he retells the story of the horrible heist to Ozzie, and wonders if that's the reason the opossum had him explain to begin with. It's only natural that Ozzie's anger would make the possum do something to discipline RJ, and the raccoon has no problem with that. It was his fault. He could have ordered the heist to be cancelled at the first sign that things were going to go wrong. He could have raided from another house—say, one that was empty as the family was at the party that had all those people around—or could have foraged for the abundance of natural food in the woods that the hedgies inhabit.

But no. He had to be an all macho, adrenaline junkie who didn't take all outcomes into account. It goes without saying that all the happy feelings he had gotten from interacting with his kids today are now gone, and replaced by a misery worse than before. Still, he can't see any harm in repeating himself.

RJ continues to look down in guilt while he says, "I know it doesn't mean much, but, I'm sorry, Ozzie. I failed you, and Heather. I'm a real lousy mate..."

Ozzie: "Look at me, RJ."

When RJ lifts up his head he's surprised to see Ozzie's face full of empathy and pity, not to mention a smile. Before RJ can ask Ozzie to explain his odd reactions, the opossum wraps his arms around the raccoon.

Ozzie: "Stop being so hard on yourself, sonny. You got Heather to safety, and saved her again with your and the rest of the family's medical knowledge. I owe you my daughter's life twice over now. You're the best mate my Heather could ever hope for."

With RJ's hopes and optimism now returned, he shares Ozzie's hug.

RJ: "Ozzie...You're the best father-in-law any creature could ever ask for. I'm not joking. Everything you just told me means more to me than you'll ever know. Forgive me...I-I thought you'd want me to feel bad for what happened today."

Ozzie: "You know I would never wish harm upon you, in any form or way."

RJ: "I know, but I forgot that. I was so mad with myself and at everyone else, I just..."

Ozzie: "It's okay, now. Our sorrow and anger makes us say and think things that don't make any sense. Luby said Heather will live and recover, but even if she didn't, me and everyone else in this family would still love you."

RJ: "I know...Thank you for reminding me."

Ozzie then let's go of RJ and looks at him seriously

Ozzie: "You know that I don't have much longer left in this world."

RJ: "Don't say that, Ozzie—"

Ozzie (stern): "You know that's true."

Hearing the strength and honesty behind Ozzie's words, RJ slumps down, lets out a sigh, and then looks and speaks to the opossum in the same strong and honest tone.

RJ: "Yes..."

Ozzie: "I've outlived most possums, but no one can go on forever."

RJ: "Why are you telling me this?"

Ozzie: "I want you to know that I always have, and always will, fully trust you to take great care of my daughter, grandchildren, and everyone else in this family when I'm gone. Nothing you do can ever make me doubt that: no amount of failed heists, mistakes, or mishaps. Ever since we accepted you into the family, you've always put our safety and needs before your own. And as long as there's a single breath left in your body, I know that you'll do all you can to keep this family whole."

RJ smiles as the words that have been said shoot up his pride, which is now at its highest. He responds in full honesty, yet with his charming wit, "I wouldn't even think about slacking off from that obligation."

Ozzie: "Of course not. You are RJ. The raccoon my daughter married, the father of two beautiful children, and the father figure of over 30 other creatures. With or without me, you'll do great at keeping this family together."

RJ: "I promise."

Ozzie: "What're you talking about? You're already keeping that promise."

The wink and smile Ozzie gives RJ reminds him of why he became a part of this family to begin with: for the true and unconditional love that can't be matched by any possessions. That love can survive all hardships as long as there is someone around to remind each other of what family is, and what family does for its members.

Verne's voice announces that dinner is ready, and with that, the two stand up and walk out together to join their family. As they eat, it seems that the rest of the family has fully recovered from the heist as well. Rebecca is smiling and engaging in tableside conversations more than she has in months. Spike, Emma, and Ike are happily talking about all the fun things they have planned for the days to come. The bats are getting along just fine and can't stop mentioning how they intend to improve their skills before the next heist. Roger and Ty have bonded well with each other, and with Plushie, and all three will no doubt continue more RJ's Wide World of Nature videos that will bring countless hours of entertainment for everyone. Mary and Bernard feel better about themselves and can't wait to start learning how to use their golf bags. And RJ has been reminded of what a father should do and how to keep the family going in the future.

It seems to be a turning point for everyone who had problems as soon as they returned from the heist, and those whose issues have not even been brought to the forefront.

In short, after returning home, everyone felt small and weak. Now, they all feel bigger and happier than ever before.

But the old saying, "The bigger they are, the harder they fall" is inescapable. And the fall is upon them.

---

Another chapter done...many more to go! Hey, you didn't think all the problems would be solved so easily did ya? Ha! We're not even halfway through the story, and things are gonna get a lot more tense from here on out for all of our favorite characters!

And as stated at the start, there is a reason why I could only post one new chapter this time. As luck would have it, the week after Chapter 2's posting, I got a new job and have been working somewhere I truly enjoy ever since! The only minor downside is that it takes up all my time from Monday's-Friday's, and I can only work on updating either during Saturdays, or weeknights (and not all my Saturday's and weeknights are free to write), or holiday's off work. I'll most likely spend the latter catching up on some much-needed R&R, but will do my best to push myself to work on updating.

I hope this chapter is a satisfying gift for the Holidays (at the time of this chapter's posting), and have a special request for all of you: Please keep any reviews you post about the story, and send me a PM if you wanna congratulate me on my new job.

Next time: the problems get deeper, and the solutions get slimmer.