Chapter Five : A Flaw in the Plan
"Are you ready?"
"More than you can imagine." Much sighed, adjusting his hold on his half of the heavy trunk he and Djaq carried between them. They were all laden, none moreso than Little John, with the belongings they had brought from the old camp. The equipment from Much's makeshift kitchen, the trunk full of old disguises, weapons and armor, sacks of coins and jewels they had yet to distribute, blankets and bedding.
Will was grinning like mad as he jogged around them and reached into a hollowed out hole in a tree trunk. There was a quiet click and a squealing of a wooden pulley and the wall they thought they had stood in front of slid away to the side. There was a collective gasp, followed by several impressed chuckles as the new door to their camp was revealed.
"Will...how did...this looks like stone. You, my friend, truly are a genius." Robin laughed, pulling out the door and knocking on what had appeared to be a solid stone surface. It blended right into the real stone wall directly beside it. "This is wood. You painted this?"
"Yeah...you know, mostly dried mud and a bit of ground up coal, it's not much really. You haven't seen the inside yet. Go on." Will held out an arm, ushering them all through the entryway that was wide enough for two grown men to easily pass through. Leaving the piles of makeshift furniture and assorted belongings on the ground, they all stepped in.
Though the entrance was much smaller, the interior was just as spacious as the first camp. There was a circle of stones around a shallow pit, forming a ready made fireplace in the centre and another smaller one on the slightly raised up split level, bridged by a wooden ramp that Will had built in.
"The smaller one is for the kitchen, there's a stand there to put your grill on above it Much." Will began the small tour as people poked their heads into every nook and cranny to find out what Will had repurposed the area into. "And where you're standing Allan, behind that cloth there's a little pantry there between the rocks, it'll keep it cool in there in summer."
"I'm not saying you forgot anything…" Much started, staring up at the leaf covered ceiling above then and then turning in a slow circle. "But where do we sleep?"
"That's the best bit."
Stepping by Djaq, Will swept aside a makeshift curtain off the little kitchen, revealing two bunks built into the rocky wall, one above the other and each long enough for Little John's great height to fit on. "There's two, another two over the other side built into the woodwork which you can see better when the door closes, those ones have a cover for...you know, privacy." Djaq arched an eyebrow and didn't miss how all of the men turned and briefly glanced at her, but she would have been lying if she did not appreciate the consideration. The men certainly did not care about personal space but she made a conscious effort to avoid any further mishaps after Much had very nearly walked in on her changing into a dress to infiltrate the castle,
" and Robin if you reach up there and tug on that rope..."
Robin did so and laughed as two hammocks dropped from the ceiling on either side of him. He gave it another tug and they rolled cleverly right back up again. "Six!"
"And we hide the loot where?"
"Better than the last place. It's under the floor." Will stomped twice on the raised platform and then turned and flipped up a hidden door in the floor.
"Will, you've outdone yourself!" Djaq beamed, clapping her hands excitedly at the same time that Allan heartily slapped Will on the back.
"Honestly, forget you Robin, Will's the brains behind the operation now."
"I could not agree more, Allan." Robin grinned, wonderment all over his face as he congratulated the youngest of their company who humbly rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged.
"It was nothing."
"Nothing? If it was you who designed the Sheriff's strongroom none of us would ever have gotten in. Right, lads...let's move in, huh? We need to get moving if we're to make it through both Loxley and Nettlestone today."
To the unobservant eye, Robin seemed much improved in the month that had passed since they had landed back on English soil. He laughed and his plans for ambushing wealthy strangers on the road were still as cunning and effective as ever. Perhaps there was some truth to the facade, but it was mostly that, a facade. When he didn't think his men could see, which they nearly always could, Robin's face fell sullen again, his eyes darkened and never quite reached their original shine. He only cried when he thought everyone else was asleep but more than once Djaq had caught him on his knees praying for their God to send Marian back. They had not told him, but more often than not he shouted for her in his sleep, it was either mournful cries for Marian, or vengeful shouts for Gisborne's blood. And no one could blame him. They walked on eggshells when he was in a mood, and visibly relaxed when for a moment he seemed more than a shadow of his former self.
Bit by bit they moved everything in. Blankets and pillows tossed to the side before everyone could fight over who claimed which bed, what little food they did have that was not freshly caught was stowed away in the natural cool space between the rocks, the trunks of loot and clothing stowed away beneath the floor and bows and quivers hung up on small shelves and hooks formed in the logs. It was a long process, one which Much specifically was very particular about where he thought things should go.
Safely stowing her bag of apothecarial and medicinal supplies in a little nook in the wall beside the bunk that she claimed, Djaq straightened up, and as she did her head spun again and for a moment she stood there blinking away the momentary vertigo. Her hand drifted up to her head, delicately pressing two fingers to her temple until the dizziness passed.
"You right there, Djaq?" Allan asked, stepping by her with an armful of firewood he lay down in the corner and she nodded.
Truthfully she felt strange. Not unlike the unpleasant sensations that came with a monthly cycle. Except that wasn't what this was. She told herself it was not drinking enough water, which might well have been true, but while that explained bouts of dizziness, it was unlikely to explain the sudden nausea that was beginning to well up inside her. It was winter though, and illness abounded. And with John coughing up a lung half the night, it was astounding that the rest of them had not yet come down with something.
"I'm fine."
xxxXxxx
"Djaq! Will! You're back!"
They had barely arrived in Loxley, and Allan was only just handing over the first of their coin purses when familiar voices made the three Outlaws turn around. Daniel, the young boy they had befriended last year came running up, grinning ear to ear as he saw them. He was followed by two other boys, Peter and Samuel if Djaq remembered right, and each of them were clutching a pretend weapon made of wood and their honourary outlaw tags still hanging proudly from their necks.
"Well, well…'allo lads." Allan grinned, his smile faltering for a second when Daniel seemed to hesitate when he looked at him. "What?"
"I've seen you riding with Sir Guy." The eleven year old bluntly said in an accusatory manner and Samuel, who once had proudly said that Allan was who he pretended to be when they played in the forest seemed to have swapped his toy sword for a long stick. "I thought you left the gang."
"Left? Nah...nah I'd never leave the gang." Allan, who in many ways was still paying for his temporary betrayal even if everyone had forgiven him, lied and looked sideways at Will and Djaq for a little assistance.
"Allan was undercover for us." Will interjected, thinking quickly enough to reasonably explain to the children. "Must have done a good job if he even fooled you boys."
"Yeah. See?" Allan held up his tags and ruffled Daniel's hair, "You really think Robin Hood would let me keep these if I let him down?"
"Well...alright...what does undercover mean?"
"It means Allan was a spy on the inside of the castle." Djaq smiled, it was a bold faced lie but if it convinced them to trust Allan again that would work out alright. "Got us information that way."
"Like Lady Marian was? We haven't seen her for a long time." Peter asked, whose dark brown hair was now so long it nearly touched his shoulders.
"Yeah sure, sort of…now here…" Allan grabbed one of the bags of food out of Will's hands and produced a dead chicken from it. "Take these home right away, okay?" He grinned, handing the chicken to Daniel, a sizeable piece of pork to Peter and another chicken to Samuel.
"Allan, that pork was meant for a larger family, it's only Peter and his dad." Will quietly chided and Allan elbowed him as the boys ran off to take their food back home.
"Yeah well...kids are more observant than I expected."
"It's winter, our supplies aren't endless."
"Both of you shut up, and get moving." Djaq rolled her eyes, mildly irritated with the bickering though it rarely bothered her. They dispersed amongst the village to cover more houses. Allan carried the coins and small packs of flour, Will the rest of the meat and would inevitably pause to mend fences and broken pieces of equipment the Sheriff's men had shattered, and Djaq tended to the houses where sickness had fallen. Loxley had only Matilda and a few novice medicine women to tend to the whole town for those who could not get to Nottingham to see the physicians, Djaq, trained in all manner of illness and ailments by her father, would lend the help she could.
"Do not bear weight on that leg for at least a few more days." She sat back, wiping her hands with a wet rag brought to her by the barrel-makers daughter. A finished barrel had collapsed onto his leg a week ago and had not healed properly in his hurry to continue work. Larkin Vice was a greying, thin man in his forties and because his trade was one in heavy demand from Nottingham, and the manor that had formerly been Robin's was a little less worse off than the rest of Loxley. His home had three small rooms instead of the usual one.
"I must work, the Sheriff has almost doubled his usual amount of barrels and in no longer a timeframe…" Larkin groaned as he tried to sit up and immediately lay back down again. "I cannot lose that contract. Gisborne has already asked how far along the order is."
"Doubled?" That caught her ear and she tucked away that little tidbit of information for late. "And you will fall further behind if you do not rest. I think you would prefer I attend to this than Matilda but I assure you I do not take very kindly to my patients ignoring my instructions." The Saracen smiled, withdrawing a little jar from her bag. "I shall leave this with your wife, it is a salve that will soothe the pain, it must be applied twice a day."
"You don't understand, I have seven children that need…"
"And Robin would not see them starve. You will be helped."
The man only seemed a little reassured as he reluctantly lay back but seemed accepting that movement would do more harm than good. "You know, a year ago I would never have imagined a Saracen would be helping us."
"A year ago, you did not let this Saracen help you. I remember." She chuckled, closing up her bag and leaving a little pouch of coins in its stead. "To help ease your lack of work."
Accepting a friendly nod from the barrel-marker Djaq smiled and stepped out of the room. It happened again, another sudden wave of dizziness that made her stomach churn unpleasantly as she walked right into Kate, the housewife who held a toddler in her arms. It passed quickly enough so she could force a smile and hand over the jar, repeating the instructions she had just given the stubborn man.
"Thank you." Kate smiled kindly, relief all over her face, "We could not afford a physician to see him and it took my three eldest to help hold him in that bed."
"You do not need to remind me that men are stubborn."
"So, when can we expect the newest little outlaw?"
Djaq nearby dropped her bag in shock and her eyebrows disappeared into her black hair. She did not even think anyone outside of the gang knew that she and Will were involved at all with each other. "Excuse me?"
Kate's blue eyes darted down and Djaq followed them to her own ringless hand and back up,
"Oh...well don't worry, there might be more than you think-"
"I am not with child and nor will I be for some time." Djaq tried to keep her tone light, though it bothered her a little more than she cared to admit. Both women lowered their voices so as not to be heard by Larkin in the next room. Kate's face changed then to one of pity that unsettled Djaq even more than she already was.
"Oh my dear, you don't know do you?"
"There is nothing to know."
"I have had seven children, I know what it looks like."
"...I shall return to see to him when next I am in Loxley." Eager to escape this entirely uncomfortable situation that was making her feel sicker than she already did, Djaq turned and all but fled to the door. The moment the wood swung open she started and gasped in shock. Matilda stood there, and immediately smiled warmly to see Djaq.
"I see I'm not needed after all, looks like you got here before I did. Robin said you would lend a hand."
Laughing uneasily more to ward off the surprise than anything else, the Saracen immediately made to step past only to be quickly stopped by Kate's hushed whispers. "Actually, Matilda,you might have a look at Djaq?"
"Why? What's wrong with her? This young lady delivered my granddaughter into this world, I'm quite sure she's capable of anything."
Djaq liked Matilda. She was a kind and clever woman who according to Robin and Will had delivered half the village that was Robin's age and younger. But most of all she liked her outspokenness against the Sheriff, and had seemed quite mad when Djaq had first met her. While Djaq and Little John were left behind in the forest with Matilda's very in labour daughter, the rest of them had saved her from a dunking as a witch.
But now she wanted nothing more than to get away as fast as possible. Already her mind was reeling, she did not need anyone poking around her. "Nothing at all is wrong with me. I was merely a little lightheaded, that is all."
And as she turned away, to her mortification finding Will leaning against the fence waiting for her, Kate must have voiced her suspicions. She hardly got four yards before Matilda hurried after and caught her by the elbow. Will straightened up, catching sight of what was happening and raising an eyebrow. Before she could think of some excuse, Matilda got there first and whisked her around.
"You boys just get on, little Eddy was just taken ill and I want Djaq's opinion on it. Get on, Will Scarlett!" She shooed until Will, looking thoroughly puzzled, turned and vanished again and against her will, Djaq was whisked back inside the house.
"I assure you, this is not necessary" She insisted, indignantly pulling her arm from Matilda's grip while Kate went to check on her husband. "What are you doing?"
"Look here, Djaq. You helped save my Rosa and little Alice so I'll only ever be nice to ya, but you don't know everything."
"Larkin is asleep, he'll not hear a thing." Kate reappeared, ushering the other two women into the next room and shooing three of her children out of it. Djaq was all but forced into a chair. Her heart was pounding now, and her eyes were as wide as a deer about to run.
"Now. Kate tells me she thinks you're 'iding something."
"I hide nothing. I cannot be with child."
"Are you absolutely sure about that? Cannot be? Or wish ya could not be?"
"I am su-" But of course she couldn't be absolutely sure. And it was written all over Matilda's wise face that she would know if Djaq lied. However minute, there was a chance that she could be. But no. She wasn't. Certainly she would know if she was pregnant. "...I am not with child."
"I have delivered half this bloody village, and Kate has been through it seven times. Now I ain't gonna mince words, we're all women here and you're medically trained. When was your last cycle?"
The thought had not even crossed her mind until that moment. Perhaps she was just so used to being around men all the time that she'd just forgotten about it. But that was ridiculous, any woman of child bearing age would attest to it being an unforgettable experience. And yet...the fact that she had not had her monthlies in nearly two months had slipped completely out of her notice.
"...on the ship to the Holy Land…" She whispered so softly she barely heard the words herself and her whole countenance sank heavily through her boots. "...October."
"Aha…" Matilda sank to her knees on the floor in front of Djaq with a grunt of discomfort and the popping of a joint somewhere. "Nauseous? Dizzy? Anything yet?"
"...only recently."
"Mmhm...you gonna tell me again that there's no way you could be pregnant? I ain't gonna judge ya, Djaq. Half the babies I've seen born were bastards. Happens more than you think."
"...It's possible." Unclenching her jaw long enough to admit it, Djaq immediately clenched her eyes shut and tried to pretend this wasn't happening and it was just a terrifying dream. She had just made it very clear to the man she loved more than anything that they could have no proper domestic life yet.
"Will ya let me look at ya? Lay down on that mattress?"
She didn't even remember agreeing, she barely was conscious of her body moving from the chair to lying flat on the mattress. Slowly, with hands that were trembling, she drew up the burgundy tunic she wore over her stomach. Her perfectly flat stomach.
"How old are you, Djaq?"
"Twenty-six next week…"
"Oh, well done, snagged yourself a younger man.."
Matilda's effort to lighten the mood was ineffective and her hands were cold as she placed her palms over Djaq's brown skin and she sharply drew in a breath through her teeth. Telling herself there was nothing there to find, she focused on anything but the gentle pressure of Matilda's fingers pressing around her abdomen.
"And there…feel how that's firm?"
Muscle. That's what it was, the new firmness in her belly that was absolutely not a sign of pregnancy. It was just...stronger muscles where she had never felt them before. But slowly, not daring to look down Djaq moved her hands and placed them in place of Matilda's. Sure enough it was hard, spongy but firm, and completely different. Terrifyingly different.
"I'd guess, six to eight weeks? Does that line up?"
Nearly perfectly. Djaq wasn't about to forget that night on the ship in a hurry. That night they both knew shouldn't have happened and wouldn't happen again before they married. Still, even now in this terrifying moment when she realised what had happened, she didn't regret it.
"Seven weeks." She confirmed quietly, an embarrassed flush rising up her neck and bleeding into her face, darkening it just a little. She snatched her hands away and covered her face with a soft groan. "This cannot happen…"
Pulling her tunic back over her stomach Djaq sat up, suddenly aware of Kate sitting right beside her. But she did not want the comfort of other women, of mothers, or anyone. She wanted to be alone, she wanted to shrink back behind the walls she had so gradually began to let down and process this news the only way she knew how. By internalising it until she understood this.
Medicine she understood. Wounds and sores and injuries she understood and could deal with, and yes, once and only once she had delivered a baby but she knew nothing of having one herself.
"Will is a good lad, he'll do the right thing by ya."
And momentarily Djaq forgot her fear in place of surprise as she dropped her hands and stared at Matilda. It wasn't as if they paraded around hand in hand, and though Much might disagree, they largely kept their romance to themselves.
"How did you kn-"
"I didn't until just now. But I've watched those boys grow up, and I've seen 'im when e's wiv ya. Besides. It was either Will or Judas Iscariot, and I didn't think the latter wasyour type."
If she had been in a better mood Djaq might have laughed at the comparison between Allan and Judas and then later told her to cut the poor fellow a little slack. But none of that nonsense mattered now. What mattered was that she did not know what to do. What mattered was that she, and Will for that matter, lived a life that was certain only in its uncertainty. Whilst their camp might be warm and secure and their home, it was still in the forest. Perhaps they should have stayed behind in the Holy Land. There, though there might be war, they would have a house, and a whole life in which to raise a family.
Worst of all was that it was something so completely out of her control that could have, and should have been prevented for certain. She did not like situations she could not control.
Ignoring the nausea that was now not entirely to do with the thing she was so afraid of, and ignoring the helping hands that were offered out to her, she righted herself and stood up. Composing herself, outwardly at least, she forced a smile to the two women, she supposed she should be grateful, it would have been far nastier a shock when she started to balloon outwards if she did not know now.
"I must go. I must get back."
xxxXxxx
"Djaq? You've hardly touched your chicken."
"Yeah if you aren't hungry, I'll eat it. Much gave me a leg and I wanted the breast."
That snapped Djaq out of the far away reverie she was in, not hearing a word of the conversation until that moment as she turned and stared at Allan like he had grown a second head.
"Excuse me, you wanted what?"
"Of the chicken." Will leaned over and tapped her plate with an amused smirk and a few chuckles sounded around the group.
"Oh…" Feeling ridiculous where under any other circumstances she would have laughed it off with them, Djaq held out her plate to Allan who all too happily plucked her serving of chicken for himself. "I am not hungry."
"You should try it though, I used spices from your country like you said. It's sumac." Much insisted just as Allan added, through a mouthful of chicken,
"It's su-perb too."
"That's the nicest thing you've said about my cooking."
"And that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
She could feel Will's eyes on her, and try as she did to ignore him, those wide green eyes would not be ignored. She spared him a few sideways glances. They sat beside each other, as they usually did but in that moment she could not have felt further away from him. How could she suddenly tell him he was going to be a father before she even got her head around it herself?
Her stomach had not settled properly since they had left Loxley, and she had only eaten her piece of bread in an effort to soak up any sick that kept threatening to come up. Now that she knew, it seemed stupid of her not to have figured it out by now. But then why should she?
As much as it pained Djaq to admit it, Matilda was right, she did not know everything.
She knew anatomy and how to tend to wounds on the battlefield. She'd been trained as a physician, not as a wet nurse. And while her people may be well advanced in medical sciences, and while she understood in simplicity the progress of conception and pregnancy, she had only witnessed childbirth personally once earlier this same year.
Just as Will had shuffled closer to her and opened his mouth, presumably to ask what bothered her, Robin joined them by the fire, tossing his bow down and accepting a plate from Much.
She seized the chance and before Will could speak to her, she spoke first.
"I saw Larkin today in Loxley."
"The cooper? How is his leg?" Robin asked, and for a glorious moment they had returned to their usual conversation.
"If he follows my instructions he should mend soon enough. But I thought you would like to know that the castle has doubled their order for barrels."
Allan and John who had been in quiet conversation both went quiet and everyone turned to listen.
"Doubled? That only happens when the Sheriff is entertaining."
"Exactly."
"Well did he say when the deadline was?"
"The end of the month, but Gisborne has already asked after them so perhaps sooner."
"Well done, Djaq." In moments like this, Robin's real smile returned, the times when he could put aside his grief and focus instead on forming a plan. He looked around at each of his men, and nodded, "That gives us about two weeks to find out what company he is keeping. It looks like we're back in business, lads."