Karma

A Mason family short inspired by a line from a Big Bang Episode of all things. Hope it brings a smile.

All mistakes are mine. Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I make no money and I write for fun.

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Perry Mason had grown to love his quiet Sunday mornings more than he ever thought possible. He sipped at his first coffee of the day sitting at his garden patio table and reading the sports section in the newspaper, all the while enjoying the warm, early morning summer sunshine that broke through the clouds.

The previous evening, his lovely wife had closed the door on their two eldest and sent them on their way to spend the night with Perry Juniors best friend, Paul Junior and his younger sister Annie, absolute best friend of their gregarious daughter Lily. Paul Snr had whisked his wife off for a romantic night in some luxurious coastal hotel away from work, phones and more work to celebrate another year together. The elder Paul had agreed his god children could stay over and keep their own two company as long as the house rules were followed. One: No parties. Two: Despite the boys being eighteen, no girls in the house to stay over. Three: Despite the girls being sixteen, definitely no boys were to be invited over and finally rule four: Another reminder, NO parties or they were grounded until hell finally did freeze over.

When the house was finally cleared of the elder two, after dinner, Tom had disappeared into his room to play his new space raiders game and six year old George finally went to bed after cajoling his mother to allow him to stay up and play a board game with his parents up to half an hour after his usual bedtime. With the littlest of the Mason brood tucked away, the house had fallen eerily quiet and the grown up Masons could begin some snuggling on the sofa. As usual, this had led to deep kissing, heavy petting, half nakedness and then whilst giggling like a couple of teenagers they chased each other up the stairs, leaving a trail of clothing as they went.

Perry sipped his coffee and stared up at the sky recalling the performance after the bedroom door had closed. He smiled, yes Mrs Mason had been very vocal last night and had also been extremely playful with those strong fingers of hers when she woke this morning. He chuckled to himself, at least his wife had the presence of mind to smother his vocal encouragement with a pillow citing the children may hear them. Must be double standards there, he thought supressing an outright laugh and returning to the basketball scores.

It was then he heard the noise. At first he ignored the grunt. Then he ignored the yelp. Then he couldn't help but become curious.

Della appeared by the kitchen doorway with the glass coffee pot.

'Refill handsome?' Della held up the pot in question.

'Please baby.' Perry reached out his cup which was promptly topped up. Perry dropped his paper on the table, pushed himself to his feet and gathered Della into his arms for a shameless kiss that made her weak in the knees and made his zip become uncomfortably tighter. Perry suddenly snapped his head up. There it was again. Della placed the coffee pot on the table as she felt him stiffen in her arms.

'What's wrong?' She asked looking at the frown that had gathered across his brow.

'Didn't you hear that noise?'

'What noise?' Then she heard it too, a faint grunt.

'It's coming from the other side of the garden. Perhaps the neighbours cat is stuck in the fence again,' Della offered. Hand in hand they left the shade of the patio and entered the California sunshine to search their garden for the strange noises. They didn't have to walk far until they came across the source. Near his treehouse George had a blanket spread out and was currently stretching his body into a variety of poses. The immediate one that met their gaze had him hands and feet on the ground with his backside stuck up in the air, grunting whilst trying to keep his balance.

Perry looked at Della and grinned. Della stifled a giggle with her fingers and shrugged at her husband.

'Georgie? What are you doing?' Perry asked as they neared him.

'I'm doing the doggie style daddy.' George collapsed in a heap, his arms unable to keep his balance any longer.

'I'm sorry?' Della coughed. 'You're doing what?'

'Doggy style,' George repeated. Perry began coughing as he attempted unsuccessfully to swallow a laugh.

'You mean downward facing dog?' Della choked out feeling her amusement getting the better of her.

'Uh?' George scrunched his face up.

Taking a moment to compose themselves, Della cleared her throat and tried again. 'Are you doing some Yoga?'

'Yogi? What's Yogi Bear got to do with this?'

'No darling Yoga.'

'Yoghurt?'

'Yo – Ga!'

George stared at them blank faced and uncomprehending. 'Mommy, I'm doing some exercises I found in the book. This is the doggy style and next I'm doing the missionary.'

'You mean the mountain pose?' Perry couldn't help himself and turning, pulled his wife in close and buried his head in her neck, shaking with laughter as he muttered 'He's been reading your Yoga book that was on the coffee table.'

'No, the missionary,' George sounded irritated. 'See'. George pulled Mr Bear from his place on the edge of the blanket and taking a position as if he was about to do a press up, lay his toy under him. Della's eyes went wide with shock.

'George! Stop!' Perry's head snapped up from where he had taken the opportunity between belly laughs to start nuzzling his wifes glorious neck and exposed shoulder. When she could feel Perry's puzzled expression at her harsh command, Della placed her hands against his cheek and turned his head to look at their sons current position.

'What the f….?' Perry stopped the expletive mid flow.

'That's exactly what he was about to show us!' Della moaned. 'Why do I get the feeling it wasn't the Yoga manual he's been reading.'

'George come here please,' Perry commanded. George stopped what he was about to do and taking Mr Bear for support walked over to stand in front of his father. Straining his neck to look up, he thought giants really did exist but his face took on an apprehensive look. Perry crossed his arms and glared down. Blue eyes clashed with blue eyes and for a fleeting moment Della knew if she never saw Perry again she would always be reminded of him in the perfect, tiny replica that stood there. George handed Mr Bear to his mother and folded his arms in a mirror of his father. Perry took a deep breath, 'What book have you been reading?' he asked calmly.

George shifted from foot to foot and dropped any pretence of being brave.

'The exercise book in your desk drawer,' he said quietly. Perry frowned.

'What bo...? Oh.' Then his eyes widened as understanding dawned. 'George, what were you doing looking through my desk drawers? Mommy has already spoken to you about that.'

'Sorry daddy.' It was almost a whisper as the blue eyes filled with tears that didn't fall. 'Am I in trouble? I'm really sorry.'

'No I guess you're not really in trouble. But….'

'It said the exercise would bring me peace and good luck,' George countered. 'I looked it up in the dictionary like mommy showed me how to.' He beamed with pride at himself.

'Perry,' Della asked, 'Is he talking about the book I think he is?'

'Yup,' Perry nodded holding his sons gaze and trying not to allow the turning of his lips to become a full grin. 'That copy of the Karma Sutra we brought back from Amsterdam last year.' He answered his wife lightly. 'Go on you little devil,' he nodded his head towards the house. 'Go get washed up and we'll go get pancakes for breakfast.'

'Yessssss!' George fist pumped and began towards the house.

'Wait a minute,' Della lay a hand on Perry's forearm, 'Wasn't that book locked in your bottom desk draw?'

'George!' Perry bellowed as he stared into Della's eyes.

'Yes daddy?' He stopped in his tracks.

'That drawer was locked. How in the world did you…..'

'Uncle Paul,' George looked sheepishly and he beamed the Mason dimples onto his parents before turning to run into the house, throwing back over his shoulder, 'He taught me how to pick a lock!'

Fin