"You are distracted today Harry," Samael frowned a little, lowering the book they had been working from to look at Harry intently.
"I am sorry, I know I promised that I would work hard," Harry flushed embarrassed. They had been working well together over the last week, and he did not want to upset that as he liked working with the unusual pureblood.
"I am not concerned about that, you have been working hard and proven to me you are dedicated to learning. You being distracted is unusual, do you wish to talk about it?" Samael asked calmly, and completely unjudging.
Setting aside his own books Harry looked at Samael consideringly. The man was connected to the Death Eaters and was here to improve his families standing because his father had demanded it. But he also trusted that Samael was telling the truth when he said that he was interested in Harry and liked him.
He needed a friend, he needed someone to talk to who wasn't personally involved in this mess, someone that he could discuss what was happening. He just had to decide if he could trust Samael.
"I was asked to relay all information that you tell me to my father," Samael said calmly, making Harry's heart sink, there was his answer then. "However, were you to have tricked me with a secrecy
spell, I would not be able to say anything,"
"You would do that?" Harry asked stunned.
"Malfoys, in general, go places, high places, and I have a feeling that you are going to go to very interesting places, hitching my wagon to your cart will do me well," Samael said bluntly. Harry felt his heart sinking just a little, he had thought that they were friends of a sort.
"Oh ok,"
"And...there are very few people who accept me for how I am. I do not wish to risk that by being forced by duty to betray your confidence and risk that potential friendship. So, I Samael Flint swear that anything you tell me in confidence will not go further than the two of us, unless you give me explicit permission otherwise," Samael swore and his magic flashed through them both, sealing him to the oath.
"Won't you get into trouble for being 'tricked' into an oath?" Harry frowned.
"No, I have informed my father that you are quite intelligent, mixed in with the fact that you're a Malfoy, it would not be impossible to say that you tricked me. I will say that the oath also covers how," Samael smirked.
"Tricky," Harry snickered.
"So? What is bothering you?" Samael asked.
"Missy, could you get me a hot chocolate with cinnamon and whipped cream and..." Harry looked to Samael in question.
"I will try the same, it sounds interesting,"
"2 of them please,"
"Yes young Master," Missy popped out.
"You are strange with them," Samael frowned.
"They have feelings, emotions and intelligence, if you treat them well they will be happier and will want to do more and better for you, treat them poorly and they will just hate you,"
"They are servants,"
"They are slaves,"
"They are happy with what they do,"
"What does it hurt you to say please and thank you to them? Three words, what does it cost you?" Harry tilted his head.
"What difference will it make?" Samael challenged.
"Missy, what difference does me being nice to you, and not treating you like a slave mean to you?" Harry asked the House elf.
"Missy and the other elves is being loyal to the younger Master, he is kind to us, and looks after us, so we look after him!" Missy said firmly.
"That is your duty anyway,"
"We are bound to look after our family, how we do that is not stated," Missy shrugged before popping out.
"Interesting," Samael hummed. "So..."
"So...this whole situation is getting too much. Draco is still hounding me on a daily basis making it more than clear that he hates me and that he doesn't want me here, if he isn't glaring at me, he is muttering things, if he isn't muttering he's outright saying it. Lucius and I had an argument last week about him running my life, and now we are circling around each other again being all awkward and weird and...I have no clue what I am doing here, what is going to happen, what they want from me! I just feel like I am drowning," Harry blurted out.
"How do you feel about actually being a Malfoy?" Samael asked slowly.
"It...isn't as bad as I thought it would be, to be honest. I mean we had a huge misunderstanding at the start of all this, but...I am looked after, I am fed and cared for, they want me to do well in school for my marks which generally indicates that they aren't going to kill me to make Voldemort happy, and they aren't going to hand me over to him. I am forming a relationship with Narcissa of a form - I think I could come to love her. Lucius and I already bumped heads before all this, I don't know where we are going. He doesn't know how to talk to me and I don't know how to talk to him. We're just floundering around making things worse every time that we start making ground. But, on a whole being Harry Malfoy is no worse really than being Harry Potter,"
"Draco?"
"I have a feeling one of us is going to kill the other," Harry sighed.
"You don't want to fight do you?" Samael noted sharply, picking up on Harry's tone.
"No, not really. I would have...I wanted to have siblings, even though it is Draco I thought that maybe he would calm down and we could try having something, but he does not seem to be calming down. It's just, this is so hard as it stands, and then to have him sniping and digging at every turn just makes it all harder,"
"If you do not mind me asking, what about your Gryffindor friends?" Samael asked.
"We're my friends at all. Hermione and Ron were being paid to be my friends from the start, and no doubt to give information back to Dumbledore. Lucius got my bank statements for me last week and when I went over them I realised that every rise in payments to the two of them was around the time something was happening, they were obviously being paid extra to spy on me. The Weasley family barring a couple of them I think were being paid to keep me close, and under control," Harry admitted.
"I am sorry Harry, a betrayal like that, it must hurt," Samael patted his hand.
"It makes it hard to trust anyone," Harry frowned.
"Including your family?"
"Including them. It's like it is split in two," Harry tried to explain.
"Split in two?"
"I have the Malfoys that I knew before this, Lucius who I thought was one of the worst people around, Draco who I could quite happily have punched on a regular basis, and Narcissa who just seemed cold and removed. And then there is after I found out, there is this side of them that I see, the side that mourned the loss of their baby all this time, mourned the loss of me, the Malfoy's that want to make an effort and who are trying to get to know me and trying to adapt to parenting someone with my personality but..."
"But it is hard to try and mix the two images together," Samael nodded.
"It's nearly impossible. I will be gardening with Narcissa and having a good time talking about it, and then I will remember the woman who looked down on me when we met at the World cup because of how I looked and who I was. I will be having a civil conversation with Lucius and then he will make a sharp comment of Gryffindors or something to do with my life and I will remember the man who went to hex me when I was 12. How do I forgive all that?" Harry scrubbed his hand through his hair frustrated.
"Perhaps...perhaps you do not?" Samael offered thoughtfully.
"Sorry?"
"There may be no forgiveness for what happened in the past. Even what has happened to you, being stolen away and the Malfoys living believing that their child was dead for so long, you are all focussed on that, maybe you just need to try wiping the slate clean. Try and go from now, try your hardest not to hold any of your past interactions against each other for good or bad, and try and go from a fresh start. It will not be easy by any shape or form, but, maybe with a history such as yours, forgiveness will make any relationship impossible. You need to accept that they did not know who you are, and had they done so they would never have treated you that way, and try and see them from now, see them with their son and not the person you were,"
"That...is actually a good idea," Harry hummed.
The two of them sat in silence for a little while as Harry mused over what he had suggested.
"Is there something else?" Samael asked.
"Yes, and I think I need to tell Lucius about it," Harry nodded.
"Glad I could help. Now, you need to do this row of runes again, you got it completely wrong," Samael put the sheet down in front of Harry who groaned and grabbed his book again.
"Lucius? Do you have a minute please?" Harry asked as he stepped inside. He paused when he saw Barty standing there.
"I was just heading out, I will be back later for supper," Barty grinned at Harry.
"Don't try and creep," Harry huffed.
"Creeping is what I do best,"
"I remember pedo," Harry snorted. "Creeping around school halls,"
"I still don't know what that means!" Barty growled.
"Aww shame," Harry grinned tauntingly.
"Smart arse,"
"I knew you were watching my arse Pedo,"
"It is delicious," Barty flicked his tongue out. Luckily before Harry could do much more than blush darkly Lucius cleared his throat reminding them both he was there. That dampened any other reaction Harry might have had as he focussed on Lucius and remembered the conversation that they were about to have.
"See you later sweet cheeks," Barty said brightly, but the look he was giving Harry spoke of the man
who knew him far too well.
"Pedo,"
"I will find out what that means!" Barty huffed storming to the fireplace and flooing out.
"Why don't you take a seat, Harry," Lucius offered, smiling unsurely at him.
"Thank you," Harry sat down and nervously stared at his hands.
"What do I owe the pleasure of this visit," Lucius smiled at him unsurely.
"I'm angry," Harry stated, watching with slight amusement through his nerves as Lucius just blinked
at him.
"Oh, ok..." Lucius clearly had no idea what do do with that statement.
"I am angry at the fact that I have no idea what I am doing here, what is expected of me, I am angry that there was so much confusion at the start of this, I am angry that I don't know what is going to happen to me, I don't know what Voldemort wants from me, and I don't know how far you will go for your dedication to him. I don't know what I am expected to be now. I was told from the minute I knew about wizards and witches and the wizarding world that I was Harry James Potter, the defender of the light, the chosen one, the wizard who was supposed to stand against Voldemort and defeat the light side - I didn't get a choice or an option, from 11 it was what I was molded into. Now I am the spare Malfoy heir and I have no clue what I am supposed to be or do, where I am supposed to stand in all of this. I don't even know what it is that I WANT to do!"
"Harry!" Lucius held his hands up, his eyes wide at the rant.
"I don't know what is going on. I am angry that I am trying to understand Draco and he can't even give me the courtesy of shutting the hell up and just glaring at me. I am angry about the fact that I am having to play catch up because Dumbledore decided to play with my life. I am angry about the fact the 2 people that I trusted most have been betraying me this whole time, and I am angry that I was too stupid to see it. I am angry that I have been having my money stolen by those I cared for. I am angry that I am struggling to trust anyone at all now! I am angry that Barty is here and alive and that I still care for him after everything that he did and that I was hurt when I thought he had been kissed. I am angry that we have all been put into this situation!"
"Harry," Lucius stood and hurried around his desk and Harry realised his cheeks were wet.
"I am angry because I have no idea how to talk to my own mum and dad, I am angry that my brother hates me, I am angry because we don't understand each other and we don't seem to be getting anywhere, and I am terrified that we are going to get to September, and the next time we see each other we are going to be back to square 1! I am angry because I missed out on 16 years of having parents and getting to be your son," Harry sniffed as he covered his face.
This was not how he had meant it to be, he wanted to discuss this properly and try and reach an understanding with Lucius.
"I am tired of fighting with you, and I am tired of arguing and walking on eggshells," Harry mumbled into his hands.
He jumped slightly when arms wound around him, but then he found himself pulled to his feet and strong arms wrapped around him before he could do anything. He was startled as he was hugged tightly to a warm, firm chest, the smell of expensive aftershave, ink and parchment filling his sense, a feeling of warmth and security filling him even as he floundered and felt unsure of what to do.
"Shush, it's ok, it will all be ok. I will always, always protect you, Harry, I will always protect you," Lucius muttered softly, running his fingers through Harry's hair while hugging him. Harry felt himself going limp in Lucius' arms, the warmth and strength of the hug, his words going through him.
His arms slowly wound around Lucius' waist and he reached up to cling onto Lucius' robes, pressing his face into his shoulder and just letting Lucius hug him. Letting his father hug him. With that fall he dropped even further into Lucius' hug and allowed him to take his weight.
Eventually, they parted, but Lucius took Harry's hand and led him over to the sofa, sitting him down before sitting down right next to him, reaching out and taking his hands.
"Harry, first things first, no one is going to hurt you. You know we are connected to the Dark Lord, there is no hiding that. You are our son Harry, no other alliances or duties surpass the duty and honour of being your father. If the Dark Lord wants you, it will be over our dead bodies - though we are a little more sneaky than that and we have plenty of money and estates in various countries. Also, the Dark Lord is not stupid, our money and support keeps him funded and with supporters, and if he tries to kill an heir of such an old family he will lose support faster than fairies fleeing iron," Lucius shrugged.
"Has he said what he wants from me?" Harry asked softly.
"Harry I don't want..."
"Please, it is driving me mad not knowing," Harry pleaded.
"He wants you to come over to our side, the threat you pose pulling us away is great, he is hoping that how much the light side has hurt you will make it an easy transfer, and he will get all of us into his circle. He also wants you convinced further into our world by any means necessary,"
"Has he asked you to hand me over to him?" Harry asked nervously, his hands clenching in Lucius'.
"Yes, he did, at first. And we told him explicitly no. That handing over our son was never going to happen," Lucius said firmly. "Do...do you want to discuss why we are with him?"
"I...eventually, but right now no. I don't want to risk causing more damage to our relationship. Ignorance is bliss for right now," Harry shook his head.
"Ok," Lucius smiled.
"That is it?" Harry blinked.
"What do you mean?" Lucius asked confused.
"No pressure, or guilt trips or comments?"
"I can be called many things, stupid is not one of them," Lucius snorted.
"Stupid?"
"I have learnt that you do not respond well to strong-arming, manipulation or force of any kind. I want to have a relationship with you Harry, I want to be your father, and that means learning to communicate with you in a way that works best for us. I don't want to fight with you, Harry. I am angry as well, so so so angry that I have lost so much time with you, but more than that I am scared, with every day that passes where we struggle to connect with each other, where we fight and argue, where you dislike me, it is another day I am losing with my son. I am going to try very hard Harry to learn a way to interact with you, but please be patient and talk to me," Lucius leant forward and peered into his eyes intently, his honesty written across his face.
"I think I can live with that," the young teen smiled. "I was talking to Samael about this, and he had a suggestion that I liked,"
"Go on,"
"He suggested that we start with a clean slate, we take each other as we are right now, and try and not allow the past to influence us, no forgiveness or making amends, we start from here, stop focussing on what was taken from us and instead focus on what we have now," Harry suggested nervously.
"I like that idea, I like it a lot," Lucius said thoughtfully squeezing Harry's hands. "A clean slate,"
"What are you doing in here?!" The anger in the question practically raised the hairs on Harry's arms and he sighed softly before turning to face Draco who was standing in the doorway looking absolutely furious. After spending a good amount of time with Lucius after their intent talk just trying to get to know each other, Harry had been heading back to his room. However, almost there he changed his mind and came back to the room he had only been in once. The original nursery. He had been looking around lost in thought and had not heard Draco approaching.
"I am just looking," Harry answered.
"You have no right to be here! Get out!" Draco snarled drawing his wand.
"I have as much right to be here as you do Draco, this was to be my nursery as well, I just wanted to look and have a few..."
"You have no rights! No rights at all! You should not be here! You should not be near MY parents, you're should not be near MY manor, you should not be near MY life! I hate you and I wish you were..."
Whatever he wished Harry was, was going to have to wait for discovery, because before he could finish that sentence, or finish pointing his wand at Harry, there was a soft pop, and Harry was staring down at a familiar white ferret which started squeaking indignantly.
Harry snapped his eyes up and saw Barty standing there, twirling his wand in one hand as he pushed his hand through his brown hair with the other looking lazily amused as he too looked at Draco.
"Barty!" Harry gasped.
"I thought something familiar would be a good choice," Barty smirked at Harry drifting closer.
"Don't bounce him!" Harry waved his hands when the Death Eater pointed his wand at Draco again.
"If you do not want to have a re-run of a couple of years ago I would run for it now," Barty glared at Draco who squeaked and shot off as fast as his little legs would carry him.
"You shouldn't have done that, he is just going to be worse now," Harry huffed, however, he could not keep the smile from his face.
"I will take the blame," Barty waved off stepping fully into the room and gazing around curiously. "I didn't like what he was saying,"
"It isn't something I haven't heard already," Harry sighed.
"I could just kill him off for you if you wanted, you get to be the heir and be rid of the annoyance,"
"I genuinely can not tell if you are joking right now or not," Barty just grinned in response. "You were never this frank before,"
"I was hiding before, I was myself as much as I could be," Barty shrugged before stepping closer to Harry, a little too close. "You have grown up a lot,"
"Thank you?"
"It was a compliment, you have, of course, managed to skip that awkward teenage phase," Barty hummed reaching out to brush Harry's hair from his face. Harry quickly reached up and knocked his hand away, stepping back and glaring at Barty.
"You don't have the right to be friendly with me,"
"Would it help if I said I was sorry?" Barty tilted his head as he looked at him, his brown eyes as intense as they had been when they were hiding behind Moody's.
"Would you mean it?" Harry challenged.
"For one of the few occasions in my life, yes I would," Barty nodded. "I was supposed to get you attached to me and make you trust me. I became quite attached to you as well, however,"
"You still betrayed me,"
"I take my loyalty seriously, it doesn't mean it didn't hurt me to have to betray the trust you placed in me," Barty said firmly.
"The trust you tricked me into giving you," Harry glared.
"I barely lied to you," Barty shrugged. "All the personal information that I gave you, the personal stories and feelings were true,"
"The fact that you use barely like it is ok is stunning,"
"What, I was just supposed to say 'oh by the way I am a Death Eater here to borrow your blood for a ritual to bring my Lord back to life, who by the way tried to kill you a few times. But you are actually the first friend that I have made in decades, so please still be my friend,'"
"Would have been better than lying to me," Harry muttered, but to his reluctance, he was feeling a little appeased.
"I didn't mean to hurt you,"
"Would you have killed me?" Harry asked crossing his arms and meeting Barty's eyes determinedly.
"That night?" Barty asked tilting his head.
"Yes,"
"I…" His tongue flicked out. "I don't know. I want to say no, I really do, and I can tell you 100% sure that I did not want to kill you. However, I admittedly was not fully sane and the feeling on the Dark Mark burning on my arm made me a few sparks short of a fire," Barty admitted.
"Thank you for telling the truth," Harry nodded.
"That's it, you're not going to shout?"
"I would rather you tell me the truth than lie, and you can't be blamed for what the Dementors did to your brain, it has never really made sense to me," Harry shrugged.
"Sense?"
"What you were like that night, that was scary, you were completely mad and out of control. When I thought about it after it didn't make sense that you could be that mad, but manage to stay hidden from everyone, including Dumbledore, all year," Harry explained.
"Did I scare you?"
Harry turned to snap at him, but he saw the honest concern on Barty's face.
"Yes,"
"I am sorry," Barty frowned before looking him in the eyes. "I can't say what I would have done that night, the dark mark, it snapped the thread of sanity in me, I had the focus of the mission and then I had you keeping me sane most of the year. Then you were gone, the plan had worked….and I was torn. I wanted my Lord back, but I didn't want you harmed either. When you showed back up here I knew I had to grab you, but...I don't know what I was going to do with you, that night is a blur to be honest, I think a large part of me just wanted to take you and run. To where I don't know, but I had to have you close,"
Harry surveyed the older man closely, the words revealing more than the teen thought he meant to.
"Do you think you will be able to forgive me?" Barty asked.
"It's not that simple Barty," Harry frowned.
"Why not, I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm still alive, you're basically on the same side now,"
"Ugh! It is not that simple Barty! You betrayed me! And hurt me, I trusted you, confided in you, and all along you were the one that was behind everything and you betrayed me! It is not that simple!" Harry threw his arms out. "And we are not basically on the same side! I am not joining Voldemort's side!"
"But….the light side hurt you,"
"And he tried to murder me on multiple occasions, kidnapped me, tortured me and...oh yes, tried to kill me again!" Harry growled.
"But….your family are on his side,"
"I don't care! I don't want to be on anyone's side, I just want to be left alone, is that too much to ask for?!" Harry huffed before turning and storming away.
"What about supper, you are going in the wrong direction," Barty called after his rapidly retreating back.
"I am not hungry!" Harry snarled before turning the corner and disappearing from sight.
Barty didn't know how long he stood looking after the confusing teen before he turned, and nearly hit the roof when he discovered Lucius standing there, arms crossed and looking annoyed.
"Mind telling me why one of my sons looks angry and annoyed enough to spit flames, and my other is a ferret, and we can not get the spell off of him?" Lucius asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Draco started both," Barty shrugged.
"Harry?" Lucius tapped on the door.
"Come in," Harry looked up from where he was lying on his bed on his stomach and reading a rather hefty book.
"Pureblood etiquette, ouch," Lucius smiled recognising the book.
"Samael is trying to drill it into my head," Harry nodded.
"Well, I am even more glad that I brought this then," Lucius smiled before producing a huge slice of chocolate fudge cake with whipped cream and two forks.
"Wow…" Harry sat up looking delighted at the cake.
"I noticed that you have a bit of a sweet tooth, it is nice, Draco and Narcissa don't really like cakes, they prefer biscuits. It is nice to finally have someone to share in my indulgences. And I thought you might be hungry after missing supper," Lucius waved the cake to hover between them as he held out the spare fork to Harry, settled onto the bed beside him.
"I am sorry that I missed supper, I was too...frustrated to eat," Harry admitted before taking a slice of the cake and humming happily as the chocolate sank deliciously into his system.
"Barty told me what happened, with Draco and himself. Are you ok?"
"Over which one?" Harry laughed.
"I admit I am concerned about Draco and his behaviour, and I am curious to Barty," Lucius admitted.
"This is sneaky cake!" Harry gasped accusingly.
"Sneaky cake?" Lucius looked so baffled Harry had to laugh as he got comfy on the bed.
"It is what Barty used to call it, when he was Moody, when he wanted to get me talking he would bring cake when we were in his office, whenever he had cake waiting, I knew he wanted me to talk to him about something,"
"Do you want to talk to me about Barty?" Lucius asked him cautiously.
"What are you wanting to know?" Harry said evasively, taking another piece of the cake.
"Your relationship and feelings towards him," Lucius shrugged his robes off and dropped them onto the floor before settling himself properly against the headboard.
"I think complicated covers both questions," Harry sighed.
"I think I am going to add to your complications then," Lucius grimaced.
"What do you mean?"
"You were not supposed to know, but I believe Barty will tell you anyway, and I will not lie to you,"
"Ok, what is going on?" Harry asked slowly with growing dread.
"Barty will be back at Hogwarts this year," Lucius smiled weakly at him.
"You have to be kidding me!" Harry groaned.
"Yes, as Defence teacher, again," Lucius added dryly.
"Isn't that dangerous?" Harry frowned.
"Dumbledore won't expect the Dark Lord to make that play again, especially not with the same person who should be soulless anyway," Lucius shrugged taking a big slice of cake.
"Why is he being placed there this time? Last time was to enter me into the tournament and kidnap me," Harry narrowed his eyes.
"This time it is for your safety," Lucius grimaced as Harry's eyes narrowed even more. "The Dark Lord has….reluctantly accepted that you do not want anything to do with the war right now, maybe not ever, but he does see the power of you NOT being on the light side even if you are not on his side either, so he wants to keep you safe, particularly when it comes out that you are a Malfoy and that we know everything,"
"And Barty is to be my guardian?" Harry drawled.
"You sounds just like Grandfather Killian then," Lucius noted surprised. "But yes, he is to be your protector. If anything happens, if you are worried about anything you need to go to him straight away, if something happens he is to get you out of there straight away,"
"Do we know what type of play Dumbledore is going to make for me?" Harry asked.
"Pardon?" Lucius asked surprised.
"What play he is going to make for me? Will he try and win me over? Lie more? Curse me? Hex me? Control me? Also, what part do you want me to play?"
"You would be willing to take my advice?" Lucius asked slowly, hopefully.
"I trust you to keep me alive," Harry said honestly.
"Oh…" At that Lucius wilted a little and Harry reached out to touch his hand before he thought over what he was going to say.
"We had a conversation a little while ago about who I grew up with and suspicions that you had," Harry said slowly, and he could practically feel Lucius tensing under his hand.
"Yes we did," Was the tense and nervous response.
"I am not ready to go into detail about what happened with them, not yet. But they...they did not treat me very well, at all, they didn't want me, they didn't like that I was a wizard and had magic, and they made sure that I knew it," Harry blurted out his fingers tightening around Lucius' wrist. His father reached out and took his hand, squeezing it back firmly.
"Can you tell me how bad it was?" Lucius asked softly.
"They...treated me no better than a House Elf," Harry said through a mouth that felt like it was filled with cotton wool, his heart thundering in his chest so hard that he felt light headed.
"Did they hit you?" Lucius asked with a dull sense of calm.
"...Yes," Harry nodded. Lucius squeezed his hand and made an aborted gesture before he reached out and pulled Harry against his side, hugging him firmly. Harry floundered for a second before he pressed against Lucius and hugged him back, his heart slowing just a little at the contact.
"I...would you hate me if I tracked them down and...punished them?" Lucius asked lowly, clearly trying not to scare Harry with the anger he could feel rolling under his skin.
"4 Privet Drive, Surrey," Harry blurted out.
"They live there?" Lucius asked sharply.
"Yes,"
"And I can…"
"I hate them," Harry whispered, closing his eyes and hugging Lucius tighter. The little boy that had longed for this, for a parents hug, a parents protection, a parents anger on his behalf, the little boy from the cupboard had potentially found home. "I trust you to keep me alive,"
"I understand," Lucius nodded.