Sunny stretched languidly in her bed. She opened an eye and took at a look at her clock. She bolted upright. It was almost noon. Had she slept through her alarm? No. She hadn't set one. Last night, she had been too tired from her encounters with Negan to remember. She glanced over her shoulder to get a peek of him wondering if her momentary panic had woken him. The other side of the mattress, however, was empty and cold.
She left the comfort of her bed, goosebumps raising on her legs as her bare feet touched the cement floor, and quickly threw on some comfy clothes. She tip toed through her bunker in search of some sign that he was still here. The bathroom was empty. No coffee brewing in the kitchen. She decided to check on the chickens. Maybe he was in the barn.
He wasn't. She went through the motions of her chores. Feeding and watering the chickens. Gathering any eggs. Watering the garden. Putting everything away where it went when she was done. She vaguely remembered seeing a bag and his bat as he dressed her last night in her room and ran to see if his things were still there.
They weren't. She sat on the edge of her bed and stared at the ground waiting for tears to flood her eyes, for her heart to shatter, but it didn't. She felt nothing but adrenaline pumping through her veins fueling anger.
How could I have been so stupid? Of course, he's high tailed it out of here. Got what he wanted…or at least, most of what he wanted because, Lord knows I didn't make it that difficult for him. I freaking gave into my thunder-lust so easily. Too easily. I can't believe he just left. Of course, he left. He left without even saying goodbye. And he lied. He's lying liar. He's the lying-est liar that ever lied. He didn't want me forever. He just wanted in my pants, and damnit, he mostly got there. Thank God, we didn't actually have sex. He probably wouldn't have even stayed the night. Did he even stay the night? Holy shit. I don't even know.
She stormed her way to the kitchen. Her movements created a cacophony of clatters and clangs as she set about making herself a late breakfast.
Why do I do this to myself? Why do I think any of the guys I meet would be interested in me for anything other than sex? Why would I convince myself that he was decent? I couldn't even find a nice guy before the world ended. I should have listened to myself. All the cussing, all the innuendos, of course he's exactly what he seems to be. I knew it, and I ignored it. Those mother effin' dimples. What is wrong with me?
She cut some bread and popped it in the toaster. It was difficult to refrain from smashing the eggs in their shells but, somehow, she managed to gently crack them into the pan. She took great joy, however, in maliciously stabbing the yokes watching the yellow slowly seeping through the wounds.
I don't need him. I don't need his stupid company. I don't need his stupid fingers or tongue. I may like them, but I don't need them. I may want them, but I don't need them. I could learn to give myself crazy orgasms. Probably. It can't be that hard. You haven't managed it yet. Doesn't mean I can't. Doesn't mean you will. You aren't helping. We don't need Negan. We were just fine, and we can keep on being just fine. Fine isn't that great. Ugh….
She poured herself a large mug of coffee adding liberal amounts of powdered creamer and sugar. A fried egg topped her dry toast with a sprinkle salt and pepper on top. What she wouldn't give for an everything bagel and cream cheese. Or just some Nutella to drown her worries in. She stood at the counter and took a gulp.
"Mornin', doll face," a deep voice resonated behind her.
Hot liquid shot up her nose as she coughed and sputtered coffee. She grabbed a napkin and wiped her face then the counter trying to recover as Negan walked into the kitchen his hair slicked back and damp.
"Shit, you okay?" he asked with a chuckle.
"Fine" she managed to choke out, "I'm fine. You scared the crap out of me. You're still here?"
"Where the fuck else would I be?"
"I don't know. I woke up and you weren't there."
"I had shit to do. I just took a shower, but you were making so much god damned noise in here you probably couldn't hear me. You thought I fucking skipped out on you?"
"What else was I supposed to think?" She crossed her arms and furrowed her brow.
"Did I not make myself fucking clear last night?"
Her eyes focused on her coffee mug. He walked passed her, his eyes scanning the kitchen.
"No extra coffee and not even a fucking egg after all the hard work I put in this morning. That's cold, sweetheart." He reached around her and stole a bite of her breakfast.
"You were gone. Your bag was gone. Your bat—"
"Lucille," he muffled through a mouthful of egg and toast.
"What?"
"Her name is Lucille."
"Seriously? Fine, Lucille was gone. You didn't leave a note. Tell me: what conclusion should I have drawn?"
"You should have known I would be back."
"Why because you made declarations last night? Guys make declarations in the moment to get what they want all the time."
"Who says I've gotten what I wanted?"
"What is it that you want, Negan?"
He grabbed her mug and took a swig, "God damn, how much sugar did you put in this? Is that why you taste so sweet?"
The corners of her mouth twitched as she tried to maintain a glare, "Your corny flattery won't work."
"Corny? That shit was fucking smooth, and if you weren't already so fucking fired up, your panties would've hit the ground and your thighs would be wrapped around my face."
She mentally tried to battle the heat she felt in her cheeks as lurid images flashed across her mind. She placed her hands on her hips. She would not be deterred.
"What do you want?"
"I want you to come with me."
"I thought I already had…a couple times."
"Oh, now who's got fucking jokes? If you want, I could make it several times, princess," he said with a wink, "Lord fucking knows you could use an attitude adjustment."
"Pass."
"That's damn shame. C'mon. I want to show you what I did this morning." He reached out to her. Tentatively, she grasped his warm rough hand. Her body lurched forward as he tugged her into his arms. She felt his breath in her hair as he pressed a kiss on her forehead. She inhaled taking in his fresh clean scent.
"I'll leave a note next time so you don't worry. Now come see what I did."
He led her towards the front of the bunker and grabbed Lucille by the door. Sunny saw his bag sitting there as well looking full and heavy. They ascended the secret stairs and exited the armoire. The natural sunlight momentarily blinded them. They walked into the kitchen. She carefully looked around. Everything still looked as dusty and battered as ever. Cabinet doors hung off the hinges exposing the emptiness of the shelves. The refrigerator was knocked over. The door laying open on the ground. Everything designed to look as though the house was picked clean. He moved closer to the door leading to the carport. Her eyebrows raised as she realized something had changed.
"The boards are off." she said.
"I pried them off with a crowbar and boarded up the fucking window I broke upstairs. You gave me a key to the house. I didn't want to unboard one of the doors that was visible through the fence."
He opened the door for her. She stepped outside and closed the door behind them. His truck was parked in the carport next to her very sensible Camry. He led the way, Lucille over his shoulder as he walked into the backyard. She didn't come out here often. The smell from the corpses around the fence was a bit much. She wondered why they needed to be out here at all.
But she didn't smell the walkers. She smelled smoke. Beyond the fence there was a smoldering pile of ashes. He had burned the bodies for her.
"I opted to burn your dad's overalls and shirt I borrowed this morning rather than leaving it in the dirty clothes hamper."
"Thanks." She paused and looked at him.
"Most of those fuckers had holes in their heads. How did you kill them?"
"I stabbed them through the fence."
"You must play a mean game of Operation, sweetheart."
"I do," she grinned, "But in this case, I sharpened the end of a wooden broomstick. A lot less dangerous than those metal tweezers."
"I did one more thing. I sawed off that branch I used to climb over the fence."
"Wow. You really were busy. You must've gotten up really early."
"I got up before dawn. Wanted most of the smoke to be cleared before it would be visible. Hopefully, no one saw the fire."
"Well, I'd say you did earn yourself some food."
"That all I fucking earned?"
"My gratitude?"
"I was hoping for a blow job, but sure, I guess gratitude is good too." He turned to see her lips part and eyes widen as that enticing pink bloomed on her cheeks. She was so easy to fluster. "You're gonna have to open your mouth a lot wider than that, sugar."
"Oh my god!" She smacked his shoulder as she walked past him, "C'mon. Let's get you something to eat."
He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back against him, "Mmmm. I'd love to eat—"
She spun in his arms and pushed at his broad chest, "Stop right there…I set myself up for that one. Just save your breath."
"What?" he shrugged his shoulders.
"Don't 'what' me. You know what," her finger poked him.
"You have a better suggestion?"
"Food. Actual food."
"You're no fucking fun, doll," he said and followed her back to the bunker.
Negan was forced to settle for an omelet with peppers and onions and some left over cheese from dinner the night before. He ate alone at the dining room table enjoying the mix of flavors and freshness of the ingredients. He wondered why he had eaten so many frozen meals before the world ended.
"What the hell!" Sunny screamed from the bathroom. She stormed out her eyes blazing with fury, "You left hickeys all over my neck and thighs!" She pulled her hair back to reveal one large purple bruise as well as a few smaller red ones.
He smiled at her indignation. He knew she would be mad when she saw those. It surprised him that she hadn't seen them already. She'd think of him every day until those faded. She might even miss them when they disappeared.
"Stop smiling, jackass."
"Watch your mouth, princess," he said sternly as he pulled her onto his lap and admired his handiwork. She bruised easily and deep. He loved seeing his mark on her.
"Are you serious?" She put her arms around his neck as he nuzzled into hers covering her skin with feather light kisses.
"I will take you over my fucking knee if you talk to me that way again."
"What? You wouldn't."
"I've been itching to turn your ass pink since the day we met, kitten."
"Yeah…no thanks," she giggled, "I think you've left enough marks on me." She tried to wiggle out of arms and off his lap, but he tightened his grip and pulled her closer.
"Now everyone'll know you're mine," he said in a low gravelly voice as he kissed her jaw next to her ear.
"Because I get so many visitors." She rolled her eyes and tried to push away.
"When we go to The Sanctuary, everyone there will fucking know. They won't bother what's mine."
"Whoa. I can't just leave." She fought in earnest to create some space between them and won. She took a few steps away from him.
"Why the fuck not? The boards are off the door upstairs. We can take your stuff straight out to my truck."
"What about my chickens?"
"Fuck. I forgot about them. We could come back with a bigger truck and load them up."
"I can't go with you." She shook her head and started moving backwards.
"What the fuck, Sunny? Give me one god damn reason." He stood up quickly his chair scraping the ground and tipping in the process.
"We just met. We don't know each other."
"I told you we would get to know each other along the way." His words were clipped. He pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I don't even know your whole name."
"Says the woman who won't tell me her's!" he said exasperated.
"Touché."
"You gonna tell me?"
"No." She crossed her arms and looked away.
"Damnit, Sunny."
"Why can't you move here?"
"Princess, I have fucking built an entire fucking community. People depend on me for protection and survival." He started pacing back and forth. He raked his fingers through his hair. "What happens if some asshole takes over after me and decides that raping and abusing women and kids is fucking fair game? Because that shit doesn't fly under my rule. I shut that shit down. Do you know what kind of people have survived? The ones willing to do horrible things to survive…the end of the world has fucking changed people. There was no civilization until I brought it back. Me and my fucking Saviors did that. And you want me to leave that to play house?" He stared at her daring her say something else.
She sighed, "You're right. You couldn't leave that. I wouldn't be selfish enough to ask. Maybe you could you just keeping visiting me?"
"That's not good enough."
"Why not?"
"What happens if you get hurt or sick? What happens if some other group finds you and figures out a way in? Do you know what they'd do to you? I can't do what I need to do if I am distracted wondering if you're safe."
"I've taken good care of myself so far. I don't need you worrying about me."
"Too fucking late for that, sweetheart. How many times do I fucking need to tell you that you belong to me before you accept it?" His jaw clench and his hands fisted at his sides as he glared into her eyes.
Tears started forming in her eyes. "What-What if my family comes back and the house is empty? How would they find me?" she asked in a small plaintive voice.
His features immediately softened. "Honey, you know they aren't coming back."
"But—" she sniffed, "My sister could be trying to get back. I can't just leave."
"I could bring someone back to stay with the house and animals. You could come back with me."
"I'm just not ready, Negan"
"I should just fucking take you. You couldn't stop me," he muttered. His eyes darkened as he stepped towards her.
She looked at him felt his frustration radiated off of him. She started to retreat. "You said you didn't hurt women."
"I'd never fucking hurt you. Kidnapping, I may bend the rules for. You'd get over it eventually."
"Not likely." Her back hit the wall. He reached her in a few strides, his arms boxing her in as he loomed over her.
"I want you. All of you."
"You can't own me." Her eyes widened and tears finally started to fall.
"Not in the way someone owns a car. I can't fucking purchase you. But you can, and will, give yourself to me willingly." His hand graze her jaw line then gripped her chin forcing her to look at him.
"Why would I do that?"
"You need someone else in your life whether you like it or not. Placing your trust in me, allowing me to take care of you and keep you safe, trusting that every decision I make for you is in your best interest can be a liberating experience." He let go of her chin to wipe away her tears.
"It doesn't sound like it."
"You'd have no worries. You'd be treated like a fucking queen. You'd come to crave my guidance and protection as much as my touch." He leaned in to kiss her but she quickly turned her head to the side.
He growled in frustration and slammed his hand against the wall by her head. She flinched and began to cry again. He picked her up and carried her to the couch cradling her against his chest. He kissed her forehead. "I didn't mean to scare you. I'd never hurt you. I am a man of my word. Shhh….." He rubbed her back whispering words of comfort into her hair.
She stopped crying a few minutes later. She moved to get off of him. Reluctantly, he let her go.
"I won't go. I won't give up everything I have and everything I have ever known." She scrubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands. She walked to the door and opened it for him.
He stood up and walked towards her. "You need me, Sunny."
"No, I don't."
He dumped all her tools he used this morning out of his bag and grabbed Lucille. "Yes, you do. You're just too fucking stubborn to admit it. You need me." He leaned closer to her. "Even if you can meet your basic needs, I'm the only one that can meet your baser ones."
She blushed but refused to say any more.
"I'll be back in a week."
She watched him go up the stairs. She should have demanded her key and gate remote back. She should have told him never to come back. Why hadn't she?
Negan started his truck down the long dirt driveway to the main road. Three days hadn't been enough. Usually, three days of solitary was enough to break someone. He told her he'd be back in a week. He'd make it two. Let her worry. Let her stew long enough to regret rejecting him. She'd be desperate and willing to come with him. She could only resist so long.