Chapter Twelve

How to Save a Life

"Give me a reason to spare you." Robin seethed, spitting blood from his split lip and pressing down hard with his knee that pinned Gisborne's wrist to the ground, his sword kicked out of reach and Robin's Saracen blade pressed against his throat. "Give. Me. A. Reason."

Guy said nothing, just scowled and craned his neck as far back as he could away from the sword.

Robin followed, keeping the cold steel against his throat. "I said give me a reason!"

"There isn't one!" Gisborne shouted, straining his arm to reach for his sword and crying out loudly in pain as Robin's knee dug harder into his wrist. He sneered, and changed tactics, though the bitterness in his eyes was real, and his words truthful. "So kill me then. Prove to Marian's memory that you're no better a man than I am-"

"Do not speak her name! You do not ever speak her name again!"

A few drops of blood beaded at Gisborne's throat, as Robin, blinded by rage fought to control his shaking hand. It wouldn't take any effort, he could kill Sir Guy of Gisborne right then and there, he had stopped even fighting for his life. But his hand remained stayed, not for lack of desire for vengeance on the man who had killed Marian, but for her voice in the back of his mind telling him that this wasn't the way.

"You're a coward, Hood. Kill me!"

"Robin! Robin!"

Someone behind them screamed for aid, tearing the widower's eyes away from his rival long enough to come back to himself. But he was too late.

Will had fallen to one knee, in a terrible mimicry of the moment that had brought Djaq so much joy only weeks ago. His hand clutched at his side and was already covered in scarlet. And still, feebly though it was, he tried to swing the one axe he still held in defense.

She was too far away, she'd never reach him before they killed him. Robin was near, but he saw nothing else but revenge on Gisborne. "Will!" She screamed, ducking beneath an outstretched arm and vainly trying to reach him and then John charged past and swung his staff with all the force of a catapult and knocked the guard out cold.

"Defend me!" He bellowed, beating Robin to the wounded man and gathering him into his arms easily, "And where the hell did Allan go?! Will!"

"Here!" There was a great thundering of hooves, a shout of pain as two of the soldiers left standing were tossed aside by two charging horses. Allan galloped in on Gisborne's own horse, leading one other behind him, and clearing a path to John who carried a groaning Will, whose face was contorted into a mask of pain, in his arms. Djaq watched as his face drained of colour, realising what had happened, as she ran towards the horses and vaulted up onto the second steed, her feet barely reaching the stirrups and a whirl of nausea running through her as she jumped. It was all she could do not to scream, though she felt tears, which came so much easier now, spring to her eyes.

Blood was pouring freely, blooming like a flower from Will's side as John helped him onto the horse, supported by Allan who was staring frantically from Djaq to his best friend and back again.

"Go now! We'll be right behind you!"

There was no time to worry about jostling him, no time to consider the agony Will was clearly in with every violent jostle in the saddle as they broke into a gallop and made for the forest, no time to even look back and make sure the others cleared their tail. He was losing blood fast, but he'd lose it even faster if they stopped before they got clear of Gisborne's men.

}}}-l

Djaq alighted from her horse before the mare had even come to a stop, stumbling a little as she landed she rushed to draw the rope in the tree trunk that opened the secret wall, suddenly aware of a trembling in her hands as she turned and really looked at Will for the first time. He was alarmingly pale, so white his skin appeared gaunt and sunken in harsh contrast to his dark hair, and obviously the only thing keeping him conscious was pain. His clothes were coated in blood, and so too were Allan's as between them they hauled Will from the horse and into the hideout.

"You're gonna be fine, Will! We got you back, Djaq's gonna sew you up and you're gonna be fine! He's gonna be fine, right?"

Hooves sounded behind them, and a moment later Much's panicked footsteps followed them in.

"It's happening again, it's happening again!"

"Much! I need hot water. Allan, cut his tunic off, I need to see how bad it is." Djaq instructed, slipping immediately into her physician mindset, fearful if she did not immediately get her emotions under her control she would lose it immediately. Every pained grunt and gasp shot directly to her heart as she hurried to fetch her bag, pausing for a fraction of a moment to still her shaking hands. "Where are Robin and John?"

"They're leading the soldiers off, they-they won't be far away."

"I'm not being funny but this is a lot of blood…"

"Move." She shooed Allan away, dropping to her knees on the ground beside Will and slowly peeling away the bloodied linen clinging to his chest. Blood had never bothered her before. She'd sewn up many wounded men on the battlefield and watched far more die, there was no room to be squeamish when you were trained as a physician and certainly she had seen much worse than this before. A long slash that spanned from his ribcage almost to his naval had coated most of Will's torso in blood. He must have moved right into the path of a sword mid turn. Flames crackled into being behind her as Much rushed past with a pot of water.

"Djaq-argh!"

"Hush," She placed a slightly trembling hand on his cheek and winced when Will groaned in pain as he raised his hand to grip hers. "You will be fine, do not speak."

"No I need to-"

"What you need is to save your strength." She interrupted, perhaps in retrospect a little harshly, but she could not hear what he wanted to say right now for fear of it sounding final. She needed to keep her head clear and concise or she would not be able to save him. "Much! Where is that water? Allan, I need wine, or ale, or whatever we have."

"It's coming, almost hot-oh thank goodness you're back!"

"Will!"

Heavy footsteps thudded in and Little John, still heavily out of breath and red in the face fell to his knees beside Djaq as she pulled her hand from Will's grasp and took the pot of hot water from Much. "How bad is it?"

"It is long but not deep, but he has lost much blood-"

"Djaq, please-"

"Don't, Will!" And emotion got the better of her as she soaked a cloth and blinked back angry tears. Ignoring the raised eyebrows that John shot her, she softened her tone and gently began to clean the wound. Immediately he jerked away, a strangled cry of pain wrenching from his already dry throat. "John. Hold him."

"This is all we have left…"

"Make him drink, the more he drinks the less he will feel, then give it to me."

"Will. Will, you stay awake, mate. Here."

Djaq darted her brown eyes up from the wound long enough to watch as Allan carefully lifted Will's head, whose eyes kept closing heavily, on the verge of losing consciousness, and lifted the wineskin to his mouth. He drank obediently, though half of what was supposed to make it down his throat only splashed down his neck instead. She reached out a hand already covered in Will's blood to take the flask and held it over the open wound. "This will hurt, my love. I am sorry...John?"

Little John nodded and stretched an arm over Will's chest, pinning him against the blanket covered leaves to stop the struggling. Drawing in a determined breath, Djaq poured what was left in the wineskin over the wound, using the alcohol to sterilise the area. She had tried, so tried to tune out the screams of the man she loved, but to no avail. Every agonising noise he made cut her straight to her heart like a hundred pins pricking painfully. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Djaq? He can't keep his eyes open…"

"Well make him! He must not sleep until he is breathing properly again." Djaq snapped impatiently, and ran a hand over her eyes as they stung with tears that blurred her vision and left a smear of blood over her cheek. Her composure was rapidly beginning to waver, shaking her hands so badly that she struggled to find the eye of the needle to ease the thread through.

A warm comforting arm encircled her shoulders, snapping her gaze from the offending instrument and into Robin's empathetic face. He said nothing, he did not need to. If anyone understood how she felt in this moment it was him, and that brought the Saracen a little comfort. It was enough to steady her hand, to tie the thread at the end and prepare to close the injury.

"I l-love you."

"That's real nice, Will, but maybe you should say that to Djaq." Allan's attempt at humour was darkened a little by the frantic hitch in his tone.

"Shut up, Allan. Djaq…"

"I told you to save your strength, now hush."

"Djaq maybe you should let him-or...or not, whatever..." Much, suitably silenced by the glare that she was shooting him, backed up, wringing his cap anxiously in his hands.

"Quit being so bloody stubborn and let me talk to you-argh!"

"I am trying to save your life, Will Scarlett, just stop moving!"

"Not being funny but this seems like an odd time for a row."

"Allan." John whistled, not unlike calling a dog and jerked his head to the side. Allan did not seem to get the point, not until Robin had hauled him up by the shoulders and pushed him to the side to give them some semblance of privacy.

"If this is it, Saffiyah, I at least deserve to be heard." Even mid sentence Will's consciousness seemed to be wavering, he had tried to prop himself up on his elbows and fallen back with a pained gasp. Unbidden by her, a tear slid down Djaq's face. "I'm sorry…"

"It is not it, Will. You are not dying." She hissed, and looked down as she felt Will's hand reach for hers, holding tightly like it was all that was keeping him awake. She leaned forward quickly and kissed him, "I forbid it. Because I cannot have this baby without you here. I can't do it. So don't you even think about going anywhere."

As Will just stared at her, green eyes half lidded and full of pain, she realised her mistake. There was silence all around them, not a word, not even a sniff. As she looked up, she met in turn four stunned faces. John's jaw was agape, Allan and Much were both staring between Djaq and Will and back again and Robin looked as though someone had just struck him across the face.

"You-what? Did-"

"No wonder you're getting married."

"You're getting married?!"

"Well this is not how I wanted you all to find out either!" She snapped and moved back into position, needle in hand. "One problem at a time, now can I please concentrate on him?"

For an hour she knelt over Will, meticulously stitching and closing his wound, pausing only to be sure his heart rate wasn't dangerously low. Much fetched everything she asked for, changing the water more than necessary to keep himself occupied while the others took turns monitoring Will's breathing and wisely asking no questions. For an hour she kept a cool head, and successfully suppressed the emotions that bubbled just beneath the surface, ready to burst forth if he showed the slightest indication of getting worse.
When at last she tied off the final suture, and straightened up to her knees, a sharp burst of pain shot through her back but she dared do little more than wince as she pulled a jar of greenish paste from her bag. Resting on her heels for a second she brushed aside a few black curls that had plastered to her forehead and let out a long sigh of relief.

"He's going to be fine then?"

"I think so, Much. If he does well now." She was more drained, emotionally and physically than she cared to admit or show and soon gathered herself together again and began to gently massage the poultice over the fresh sutures. She had not so much as looked anyone else in the eye and had no desire to face their stunned expressions, or worse their questions. Wiping most of the blood and herbs from her palms she carefully bound the area in linen bandages, and without prompting John gently lifted Will's sleeping form so she could reach beneath him.

"Thank you. I will go and...wash this off, fetch me at once if he wakes."

She did not let herself utter another sound, or show any signs of fragility until she was out of sight and earshot of the camp, and the cold water of the icy stream bubbled nearby. Still, nothing as she knelt down and began to wash her betrothed's blood from her hands, until the water around them ran red. Djaq's jaw quivered, and her eyes once more stung with the tears she so hated and despite how cold the water was she scrubbed harder, like there wasn't enough water in the world to clean them. She scrubbed and scrubbed until finally the blood was gone from beneath her fingernails and her hands were numb from cold. She fell back on her knees shaking, and at last a long, angry cry, suppressed for so long, burst out of her. Her breaths came short and sharp, a hair's breadth away from hyperventilating as she wrapped her freezing hands in the bottom of her tunic, also spotted with blood, and inadvertently pressed them over the small bump beneath. It felt like the weight of the world was crushing her chest as the terrified reaction she had no time to have before came in all its full force. She had no handle on her emotions anymore, where she had become so good at controlling them, even hiding them. Will could have died. She could be alone and so was the risk they took every day. Every time she blinked, she saw him lying there bleeding, heard him trying to get in his feelings just in case he didn't get too, his apology for the situation they'd found themselves in.

"I would ask how you're doing...but that seems clear."

She startled at Robin's voice and hastily wiped at her eyes as she stood. "I am fine. Did he wake?"

"No, no I came to check on you, Djaq."

"I am-"

"No you are not. Do you think you can lie to me?" Robin raised a sarcastic eyebrow, but his expression remained understanding as he made his way over to her. "You did your job splendidly, you saved his life."

"Yes. I think so."

"I know so. You are a brilliant woman, Djaq, and a brilliant physician."

"Thank you, are we done now?"

"No we are not done." Robin chuckled a little at her dismissal of him and reached out to gently take her shoulders. "You are allowed to be shaken. If anyone understands how you must have felt just now, it is I, you do not need to hide that from anyone. We are your friends."

A little of the stubbornness went out of her and eventually she met his eyes. They were warm and sincere, and offered sympathy. Slowly she nodded, and released her tense grip on her tunic, raising one very cold hand to lay on top of Robin's who after just a moment drew her into a comforting embrace. Djaq leaned into him, and let him give some semblance of peace to her frantic mind. "So...you're pregnant?"

She stepped from his arms as she nodded and with a long slowly released breath she pulled the sides of her tunic until it stretched taut over the small defined curve of her belly. Not even Will had noticed it yet. "Alas, so it would seem."

"Alas?"

"Would anyone be happy about it in this situation?"

"I don't know...I mean, Will would be the type…he might be the youngest, but he's made to be a dad."

A dry laugh got the better of her and she smiled a little, "Yes, he would. At least that makes one of us."

"You will be too in time, I am sure. But I have to say…it does explain a lot."

It was almost a relief now that everyone knew. It would soon have become too difficult to explain away or hide. Still she feared the looks on their faces when she got back, how they would immediately treat her as differently as she did not want to be. Djaq let her clothing fall back loose around her, still spotted with blood that would never really wash out, but that was hardly new. "I could not do this alone, that is what scared me the most and I know it is selfish-"

"Selfish? To want your child to have a father is selfish? Even if things had been worse, Will would fight heaven and earth to live for you, you know that. That young man has been in love with you for almost as long as he's known you, and I know that because he blurted it out to everyone else, you think a sword would get in his way?" Even as the last words left his mouth Robin's whole expression contorted with pain for a split second but long enough for Djaq to see.

"Robin...I am sorry, this is why we did not want to tell you about the engagement yet.."

"Nonsense...did you really think I would be anything but thrilled for you? You are blessed to have found each other and still have each other and I could never begrudge anyone that joy for my own sorrow. Least of all two of my very dearest friends." He took her by the shoulders and gently squeezed, "I would be honoured to see the pair of you wed whenever you and Will say the word. Djaq? I mean it, nothing short of honoured."

"You are a good man, Robin. Thank you."

}}}-l

"I told you they were euphemisms…"

"Explains why she's been...weird though..and why she's you know-" Allan cleared his throat and vaguely waved his hands in the air around his torso, "-definitely bigger."

"Really? Even when you know she's with your best friend?" Much tutted and knotted a hand in his dirty blonde hair.

"That is not what I meant, come on even you aren't blind."

"Shut up both of you. Let the man sleep." John growled, rolling his eyes at the younger men and crossing his arms firmly over his chest.

"So we're just going to have a baby walking around the hideout in however long? How is that supposed to work? Babies are loud."

"You are loud, Much, and no one questions that."

"Much. I do not think that is your problem to worry about." John sighed and looked down at the sleeping Will Scarlett by the fire. He shrugged off his overcoat and knelt, carefully lifting Will's head and folding the garment under him like a pillow. It shook them all terribly when one of their own was hurt, and Will was still so young, and already facing fatherhood. "Be thankful he lives to be there."

"Of course, I just mean...well how do we treat a woman with child?"

"When that woman is me? Exactly the same way you always have, if you know what's good for you." Right in time, the subject of their conversation walked right back in with Robin in tow.

"Even when you're, you know...huge?" The look that Djaq shot Allan could have cleaven him in two and actually made him take a few steps back and raise his hands in surrender. "Right, right, I'm sorry…"

She rolled her eyes and moved over to kneel beside Will's head. Gently she ran a hand through his hair and in sleep, his head turned toward her. A wave of fondness crashed over her. He was still dangerously pale, and a thin sheen of sweat coated his forehead. He was not entirely out of the woods yet. She dabbed it away with a cloth and checked the linen wrappings.

"You should rest, Djaq."

"No, I will stay with him in case he changes."

"You can't stay up all night, you're exhausted. We can take watches with 'im until 'e wakes, and get you up if anything changes."

She was exhausted. A deep, bone tired exhaustion that she'd been fighting for hours and it must have shown all over for Allan to notice. She was spent, emotionally and physically the adrenaline of the fight had faded and the exertion of the day was beginning to take its toll on her changing body, her legs and her sides ached like she had just run all the way from Nottingham. She felt everyone's eyes on her, a tension in the air that she did not like.
"No." She stubbornly attempted, her eyes flashing with an unspoken dare to mention her pregnancy until they reached Robin's. She was no use to anyone, least of all Will, if she was exhausted. "...Very well."

}}}-l

"You know, Gisborne, I'm beginning to wonder why I keep you alive when you continue to demonstrate your incompetence at everything."

Guy, face still bruised and bloodied, scowled darkly at the back of the Sheriff's bald head as he plucked an emerald encrusted tooth from a skull. He crossed his leather clad arms firmly over his chest and realised a long tense breath. "My lord, the plan did work. This proves the people can be tempted to betray them."

Vaisey rounded on his lieutenant with murder in his eyes and a sick crunching as he pushed the tooth into place in the gap in his mouth. "And you still failed! They still got away!"

"Not entirely. The Scarlett boy is wounded-"

"Oh one is wounded is he-wounded is still alive! If you said one was dead I might excuse your inadequacy!" The Sheriff seethed, his beady eyes flashing dangerously as he leered up at Gisborne, his fierceness undercut a little by his short stature. He stood so close that Guy recoiled at the foulness of his breath but otherwise refused to flinch even as flecks of spit flew into his face. "I think you've gone soft over your little leper's death, Gisborne. I think you are losing your touch because you think she was right and you could change. Well...toughen up, princess, and bring me the head of every single one of those outlaws. Now!"

Anger broiled within Sir Guy as he strode, chastened like a dog with its tail between its legs, out of the Sheriff's chambers. He'd very nearly allowed Hood to kill him in the village, and truthfully for his tortured soul he would have welcomed death if Robin Hood had carried through. But even with a sword in his hand and vengeance in his eyes, Robin had not struck him dead, had not the courage to end it all there. Gisborne only had the memory of Marian to thank for the sparing of his own life, in some bitter cruel irony that was designed to torture him for eternity. Marian. He heard her dying screams every day, he relived driving his sword right through her every waking moment because he was too proud and heartbroken to accept that she loved another and he had only been a means for castle infiltration. She would say that they kept getting away from him and that he kept losing because he did not truly want to win. He could hear her voice of reason clearly now. That did not make it true. Robin Hood had been his nemesis for longer than Hood even knew himself, Gisborne had chosen his lot in life.
There was nothing for him to fight for anymore. No one to try and change for even if he could. So he could do nothing but bend his head in obedience and try to finish this once and for all until someone, be it himself, or Hood or even the Sheriff lay dead. He did not think he would mourn whatever the outcome.