Hey guys! I know it's been a while. I hope y'all are still here. We're going to be moving along pretty fast plot-wise. I've reworked my outline and condensed some things so we will finish in less than 10 chapters rather than another 15. Thanks to everyone who has read and kept reading in the last year. If you like it and want me to keep going, let me know! Thanks again!
A loud banging reverberated in Sunny's brain, jolting her awake. She had tossed and turned all night, haunted by harems that harassed her nightmares. Dwight's yell told her breakfast was waiting in the office, the sound of retreating boots and the slam of a door were welcome as she sat up and wondered what she should do. Her stomach growled making her first decision easy.
She brought the pancakes into her room, setting the tray on the table. She picked at the fluffy circle, pulling it apart, before popping a piece in her mouth.
How am I going to ask him without him knowing I snuck out? Do I just up and ask, "Hey, Negan, ever had a harem? How do you feel about concubines? I'm asking for a friend." Ugh. No. "So, Negan, ever been a polygamist?" Oh my god. I just can't. "Hey, Negan, are you an old school Mormon?" Do I even want to know? Do I even care? What if he wants more wives again in the future?
Her stomach lurched, the pancakes threatening to come back up. He would be back tonight. Instead of excitement, dread created a fine mist of anxiety in her palms. She stood from the table and grabbed her working clothes determined not to sit and make herself sick with worry the rest of the day. She knew she needed some distraction and distraction was not to be found within the confines of these walls.
It took her longer than she thought to get to the gardens trying to avoid as many Saviors as possible. When she finally made it out of the former factory, the sunlight seemed to sizzle off the concrete even though the weather was mild. She strained her eyes trying to adjust to the brightness of the sun, wishing she had sunglasses in addition to her baseball cap. She really needed to get out more.
Not bothering to find the person in charge today, she found an empty space next to a raised bed. Kneeling next to a stranger, she mimicked their movements and began pulling weeds from the garden. Looking around her, she could see some people harvesting vegetables.
"Give that one a few more days," she said before she could stop herself.
The man's hand on the tomato stopped. He eyed her suspiciously. "Really?"
"Yes, a few more days on the vine and then it will be perfect." She spoke in hushed tones without really realizing it. This whole place felt like a funeral home. No one was talking. No one was interacting. Maybe it was the Saviors who frequently walked by with guns. Maybe the stress of providing food was too much. Either way, Sunny felt anxious and really fearful for the first time.
"If I wait a few days and it rots, who do I blame then? Because I'm not taking the dock in points."
"Darcy. My name is Darcy." Dock in points? Do they really get punished for such simple mistakes? Gardening was not an exact science by any means, especially for beginners. How could they expect them to know everything?
She watched the man move on to other tomatoes, examining them, pulling a few free, and adding them to his basket before returning to her own work. She had a small stack of weeds she had pulled, dirt under her nails, and sheen of sweat on the back of her after another hour or so. A Savior with a gun stood by a water cooler and announced a break. Everyone around her stood and waited in line for a cup of water. Sunny joined them waiting for anyone to speak, but no one did.
Finally, she leaned into woman close to her and whispered, "What's with the scary men with the guns?"
She seemed startled at being spoken to. "They're here to make sure no one steals."
"Has that been a problem?" Sunny took a sip of cool water, hoping the woman would open up.
"Not recently. But a while back some people were caught. And they were punished. They were sent to work on the wall."
"So, they move the walkers on the walls?" she asked, thinking of what Negan had told her the night of her daring escape.
"No." The woman's amber eyes were filled with pity, her topknot swayed as she shook her head. "They became the walkers on the wall."
Sunny's stomach dropped. She couldn't believe what she just heard. "Executed?"
"Yes. We have rules for a reason. You break them you pay the price. It's how we survive." The woman seemed so unbothered by the whole system.
Sunny had heard something similar to that from Negan. How could he think execution was acceptable? How could he call this justice? "What other punishments are there?"
"Some people who break rules get The Iron. You'll know who they are by looking at their faces."
A whistle sounded through the air. Everyone instantly dropped to their knee. A hand grabbed Sunny's elbow tugging her down. Staring at the ground before her, she saw black boots and the tip of a barbed wired bat passing through the workers in front of her. Turning her head, she saw her husband walking away, a group of leather-clad people trailing in his wake. As soon as she could, she sprinted away from the gardens, away from the crowd of people who had bowed in subjugation.
Not caring who she ran past or how much attention she drew to herself, Sunny sprinted through the building to the stairwell, hoping she could make it to the room before Negan. Taking steps two at a time, she pushed through the stitches in her side. She came to a halt as she saw a tall dirty blonde man at the door of her room.
"Get your ass in here," Dwight hissed. "He'll be up any minute. Jesus. You're covered in fucking dirt. Jump in the shower. If he finds outs…."
"Thanks." She crossed the threshold and turned looking at the man about to lock her back in her cage. "Dwight, I have to ask…what happened…"
"Don't ask. You're better off not knowing. Now get in there and get clean." Dwight shut the door and the lock clicked into place.
Sunny shed her clothes, stuffing them under her sink. She turned the shower on and jumped in not waiting for the water to warm.
Fuck! It's freezing. This is what you get for breaking rules. Curiosity killed the cat. Here it can get them killed, burned, and who knows what else. What did you just see? Did all those people really bow to Negan? Does he kill people for being desperate? Burn their faces?
Her brain bounced between the Negan she thought she knew and the one who had been described in the last few days. Her Negan was passionate, kind, and protective. He was overbearing at times, but she never thought he was capable of what she had heard. Hoarding wives. Mutilating faces. Killing people for being hungry. None of this made sense. There had to be a mistake.
The water warmed, heating her skin, but the cold dread still filled her stomach. She focused on washing her skin, removing the dirt from her arms and hands. As she worked lather across her body, the shower curtain pulled back revealing Negan, naked, stroking his erection as his eyes traveled over her slick body.
He stepped into the shower. "It's a little late in the day for a shower. What's my princess been doing all morning to get dirty?" His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her to him, his cock pressed against her abdomen.
Does he know? Did he see me? Did Dwight tell? Heart pounding, she replied, "Exercising. I'm not gonna fit in my clothes if I keep eating and not doing anything."
"You act like not fitting in your clothes is a bad thing. I'd love having you naked all day." His hand snaked through her hair, gripping it gently, tilting her head back. He lowered his lips to hers.
Sunny melted in his arms. The warmth and strength of his body, the way his tongue moved in her mouth, nothing else mattered but this. Her hands slid up his chest, a satisfied rumble vibrating beneath her fingers. Negan gripped her waist, lifting and pinning her against the cold tiled wall. She wrapped her legs around his hips as he positioned himself at her entrance. She wasn't prepared for the slow torturous way he stretched and filled her as he pushed inside her. She could feel her muscles already clenching around him, ready to keep time with his usual punishing pace. But it didn't come. His thrusts were slow and deliberate, letting her feel every inch and he pushed in and pulled out. She wanted to scream at him or cry. It was too much and not enough. "Please," she begged.
"You want more?" he asked against the curve on her neck, his teeth scraping against the tender flesh.
"Yes," she moaned, rolling her hips trying to goad him into thrusting harder, but he kept her pressed against the wall.
"You want me to fuck you, princess?" Negan snapped his hips, thrusting hard to the hilt. Her nails dug into his shoulders, her back arching off the tile.
"Oh god, yes," She whimpered. Her body was so close to the edge, her sweat mixing with the steam and streaming water.
"Say it. Tell me you want me to fuck you." His hazel eyes stared into her green eyes. His brows furrowed as if holding back his movements caused him pain.
Sunny whined as he pulled out and waited. "Fuck me." Her body was shaking with need as she continued to plead. "God, Negan. I want you to fuck me."
He growled as he pumped into her with renewed power. The sound of wet skin slapping against each other was drowned by the crescendoing of her cries. Her muscles contracted as her body fell over the precipice of pleasure, the intensity only building as he prolonged her orgasm with his powerful strokes. It only took him a few more minutes before he followed her over the edge, his cock pulsing as he shot thick streams of cum inside her.
Lowering her down, Negan kissed Sunny's forehead. "Now that I got you fucking dirty again, let's clean up, and I'll go get us some dinner."
Something was wrong. Negan stared at Sunny across the table. She was quiet. No questions about his trip. No playful teasing. She pushed her hair behind her ears and went back to picking at her food. She wasn't even looking at him. "Ok. What's wrong, doll?" he asked.
She met his gaze her eyes widening. She sighed and said, "I just keep realizing I don't know anything about you. When you are here nothing else matters. But when you leave, reality sets in. That's all."
Negan leaned back, his arms crossing over his chest. "What is there that you need to know? Our pasts don't mean anything anymore."
She moved her food around with her fork, stabbing a piece of potato. "You know my past."
"Fine," he grumbled. "What do you want to know?"
Sunny seemed to be thinking. She hesitated then asked, "What did you do for a living?"
He grabbed his fork, loading it with food said, "I was a gym teacher," before shoveling it in his mouth.
Her eyebrows sprang into her hairline, her lips trembling as she struggled to maintain a straight face. "Seriously? Did you say a gym teacher? Like short shorts and a whistle?" His glare was all the confirmation she needed. "Oh my god. Does anyone else know? Is it weird to wear all that leather now? Do you still have the short shorts?"
"Is there anything else you need to fucking know? Or are you satisfied with that juicy bit of info which I am sure I will never hear the fucking end to?"
She took a deep breath. "Were you—were you ever married? I mean, you're older…so I figured you probably must have been at some point…."
Negan's back straightened. He put his fork on the table. How could he not have thought she would want to know all this shit? "I was married before. She died of cancer right before all this started."
"Did you ever have any kids?" Her voice was quiet. Her eyes softened with anticipatory pity.
"No. We never had kids." Negan pushed the thoughts away. He didn't like to think about his wife, Lucille, and how he had treated her. They had tried for kids, and he was grateful it never happened. That he hadn't had to see his kids trying to survive in this kind of world.
"What about after?" Sunny watched him as he shifted in his seat, his brows furrowed.
He took another bite of food. "What do you mean after?" he asked out of the side of his mouth.
"Were you married after everything fell apart? Before me? It's been 2 years…I doubt you've been celibate, Negan." Her stomach turned at the thought of him with all those beautiful women.
What the actual fuck? Why would she even ask that? Should I tell her the truth? Did Dwight say something? No, he wouldn't be so stupid. He lifted his bread to his mouth, tearing off a piece with his teeth. The fluffy bite nearly melted in his mouth. The last time he had bread this good was….
"Where did this bread come from?" His voice was gravelly as he fought to keep his emotions in check.
"I'm assuming you got it from the kitchens."
"The recipe, Sunny. Your recipe. How did they get it? Those shits haven't made a decent loaf of bread in 2 years. I'm gone 2 days and suddenly they figured it out?"
"You mean the recipe I got off the bag of flour? It's not some family secret." Her heart hammered. That wasn't technically a lie. "Don't try to evade the question at hand with accusations, Negan. Have you been married after the world ended before me?" She waited not knowing if she wanted him to lie or not. How would she feel if he did? How could she ever trust him? Ever really know him?
He was cornered and he knew it. Was he lashing out over the bread for nothing? Would she have snuck out? He wanted to believe she would listen to him and trust his judgment, but how could he expect her to trust him if he was thinking of lying to her? He pinched the bridge of his nose and ran his face down his cheeks over his stubble. "Yes, you could say I was married. It wasn't a conventional marriage. It was an arrangement with a group of women who called themselves my wives. We took care of each other. I ended it all when I met you. I didn't want that anymore. All I wanted was you."
"How many?" She stared at him, not knowing if she was relieved or heartbroken by his admission. He said he ended it all for her. But what if she wasn't enough?
"Five. Not my most brilliant idea, but I was selfish and it bolstered my reputation." His eyes met hers. "I swear it ended as soon as I met you." He could see her innocence slipping away as she processed what he had told her. Had it been the right thing to confess? The one thing he wanted was to protect her and he couldn't even protect her from his past.
"Five…." Sunny stared at her plate. Her body felt like it was on autopilot as she lifted her utensil and began to eat once more.
"May I remind you that your favorite book is about a sheltered young woman who falls in love with a married man. At least, I got rid of my wives before marrying you."
Gasping and sputtering, she responded, "That's a fictional story, not a self-help book! Just because I like to read something doesn't mean I want to live it."
"Ok. Ok." He held his hands up in surrender. Seeing the outrage on her face, he relented. "Sunny, they didn't mean anything to me," Negan desperately tried to explain.
She shook her head, her shoulders lifting and falling. "I don't know if that makes it better or worse. I think I'm just going to go to bed now. I can't eat anymore." She rose from the table and crawled into the bed. "Good night, Negan."
Negan remained seated. He let her escape him into her own thoughts, knowing she had no other place to go to process all that he had said. How had she known to keep asking after he told her about Lucille? Shouldn't an admission about one wife in his past have been sufficient? He stared at his food. Grabbing the bread, he couldn't help but wonder what had happened in the space of time he had gone.
Warmth and wetness gathered between Sunny's thighs. Her body arched in response to the delicious dream she was having. Beard scraping against her soft skin. Teeth nipping. Lips sucking on her delicate folds. Her eyes fluttered open to see a dark shadow resting between her legs. His hazel eyes met hers with a wink that sent her head back to the pillow as his attention turned to her clit. Her thighs squeeze against his head, shaking as she climaxed against his tongue.
He kissed her hips moving up to her stomach before taking each of her nipples into his mouth in turn. He crawled up her body and kissed her forehead with a lazy "Good morning, baby. I gotta go. Your breakfast is on the table." He kissed her again and his weight was lifted off the bed.
Sunny watched him go, her afterglow fading quickly as she remembered their conversation last night. She looked at the table. Her stomach churned. She didn't feel like eating. She felt like wallowing. Wallowing in her own self-pity. Which she didn't deserve because she had followed a stranger down a sex-laden path only to be surprised when she found out he was still a stranger. Physical intimacy does not mean you know someone and that was a lesson she still needed to learn.
She needed help reconciling the Negan she thought she knew and the Negan the rest of the world saw. Her Negan would never do the things she heard. But she had seen him walk past kneeling workers as if he demanded that kind of reverence and devotion. Which Negan was the real one?
She gathered her clothes and dressed in them once more. She wondered how many more times she should wear them before they officially became offensive to other's nostrils. No one liked the smelly kid.
She figured she had an hour or two. Maybe she could get some more info out of Karen and Sarah in the laundry. They seemed to know everyone's in's and out. Or maybe Delilah. Cooking always helped with her troubles in the past. Nothing like making something to feel like you have some control in times of chaos.
She inserted the hairpins into the lock like always and waited for the click. She grabbed the handle and turned, pulling the door open. Her exit was blocked by the back of a person standing in the hall. A woman with short blonde hair pulled back and a tattoo on her neck turned and glared at her.
"Did you need something?" she asked.
"Who are you?" Sunny demanded.
The woman's hands rested on her hips, pushing her jacket back, revealing a gun on her hip. "I'm the person Negan put in charge of making sure no one goes in or out of this door. So I suggest you go back inside and paint your nails like a good little wife."
Sunny slammed the door in woman's face, hoping maybe it had made contact with her stupid smug face. A guard! Negan had put a guard at her door. Didn't he trust her? No, obviously he didn't. No more than she trusted him it seemed. Neither had been entirely truthful. And without trust what did they really have?
Negan approached the door where Laura stood. She opened it for him and whispered, "You were right," before turning walking down the hall.
God fucking damnit. He should have known. He had suspected after last night, but he should have known she would have snuck out. Should have had a guard posted from the beginning. That is one fucking mistake I won't be making twice.
He entered the office and she was sitting on his couch with her arms crossed. He slammed the door behind him.
"A guard, Negan? Really?" she snapped.
"I fucking wouldn't need to post a guard at the door if you could follow the fucking rules, Sunny. You care to explain why my head cook is losing her shit asking where some fucking chick named Elizabeth is? Or how about Jane from the laundry? No one knows where these women came from or where they are. But fucking funny thing…they both match your description. I told you that key was for emergencies only!"
"I didn't use the key! I picked the lock!" She was on her feet, her hands balled in fists at her sides. A pink flush was creeping over her cheeks. "The door shouldn't have been locked in the first place. I should not be a prisoner here."
"You aren't a prisoner. I'm keeping you safe!" Negan ran his fingers through his hair. "Don't you see that?"
"No, I see a man who is interested in keeping from seeing how the world works. The world he created where people kneel to him."
"You are in a world of trouble, little girl. Come here. Hands on the desk." He moved some things over on the desk, clearing an area on the wooden surface.
"No." Her arms crossed, feet firmly planted on the floor, eyes never leaving his.
"Excuse me?" He walked towards her, towering over her, trying regain control over the situation.
She didn't falter. "I said, 'No.' I'm not playing games right now. I didn't mind the rules and punishments when it was fun, and I had hope of things changing. Of you letting me be a part of this community. But if that's not going to happen, I want to go home."
Negan froze. "This is your home."
"No. This is a gilded cage. At least I had a purpose at my house. I had animals and plants that depended on me. Here my only job is to satisfy your needs. Which you can obviously fill with anyone…and have."
"You are not leaving me." His hands gripped her arms, pulling her against him., wrapping around her.
"Then let me have a job. Give me some freedom. Please, I can't stay in these rooms without going crazy."
"No. You'll get used to it and you'll realize I'm right. I can't let anything happen to you."
Tears shone in Sunny's eyes as she pushed away from him. Negan's heart felt like it was ripping in two, knowing he was the cause of her pain. But he refused to back down on this. She was safest here with him. And he would be damned if he let anything happen to her. She would calm down in a day or two, and everything would go back to the way it was. She turned her back to him and left him alone in the office.
Negan walked out the front door, locking it behind him. He crossed the hall and entered his entertaining room. He poured himself a scotch, adding a few drops of water to open the flavor. Sitting on his leather chair, he sipped and wondered how everything had gone to hell to fast. She had been happy. He'd been happy. And now?
He drank the rest of his glass and poured another, staring at his surroundings. Never would he had been in possession of such fine things before the end of the world. He drank cheap beer in a camping chair in his garage most days. His affairs were conducted in motels that charged by the hour. Now, he had the finest liquor and furniture he could loot. He had built an empire from nothing. A civilization where once there was none. Couldn't Sunny just be happy being taken care of? Any other woman would be. But she wasn't any other woman. And he'd never be able to replace her as much as she may think he could.
Fuck. He was going to have to give in. Just a little. Enough to keep her happy but also keep him sane. He couldn't stand her unhappiness and he wouldn't let her leave. A nice safe job. Maybe in the nursery or the school. Reading stories and snuggling babies. Maybe the kitchen. He could have someone watch over her, maybe just to walk her places.
He put his drink down, the bottle half empty after hours of ruminating. He returned to their rooms and looked at Sunny sleeping in their bed. He still believed she was meant to be his. He knew the first minute he met her. They could work through it and tomorrow they would. He undressed and climbed in bed next to her.
Sunny laid awake next to Negan for what seemed like hours, listening to sound of his light snoring. Gingerly, she sat up and slid off the mattress. She grabbed the clothes hidden under her bed and dressed quickly. She pulled out the bag she had packed with an extra set of clothes and her favorite book. Tiptoeing, she turned cracked the bathroom door and turned on the light, closing it soundlessly. Hopefully, he would think she was in there and it would buy her a few more minutes.
In the office, she took the sandwiches, chips, and water bottles, stuffing as many as she could into her backpack. She rummaged through his desk for the knife she knew he kept there. Searching the left side, her stomach flipped when she saw a Spark Notes guide to Jane Eyre. He hadn't read it after all, but he tried. She found a map in the center drawer. She unfolded it a few times and saw it had The Sanctuary as well as other communities circled in red. She put that in her bag too. She wasn't sure which way home was exactly. In the right drawer, she found what she needed, a knife and a compass. Grabbing both she left their rooms.
Peeking around corners and avoiding guards, she made her way to the front gate. She hid between some cars and waited in the dark. She knew people were allowed out at 8 a.m. Negan woke up well before then most mornings. Hopefully, he wouldn't realize she was gone until much later. She needed a head start.
The sun started to rise. It was now or never. Sunny approached the gate. A Savior with a large gun stopped her. "It's not 8 a.m. go back to your room."
"I can't afford a watch. I'm already packed. Please just let me leave. What difference does a few minutes make?" You stared at this poor man's face, hoping your lies wouldn't cost him too dearly. "Please, I have to get out of here."
"It's not any better out there," he warned.
"I know. But I need to leave." Her eyes glistened with tears whether from fear or regret she didn't know. "Please, help me."
He shook his head and dropped his weapon, letting it hang from its strap over his shoulder. He undid the chain and opened the gate enough for Sunny to slide through.
"Thank you," she whispered as the gates shut behind her and she faced the world for the first time alone.