Summary: Negan arrives at Alexandria. Sunny must make a choice.
Notes: Warnings- Le angst and le smut
Negan's truck pulled through the gate of Alexandria with two more following behind. Dwight drove which was preferable to Simon who couldn't stand silence. The man never knew when to shut up and coming from Negan that was saying something. The ride was long but blissfully quiet. He had no fucking desire to spend that time going over plans for the hundredth time or listening to another fucking pep talk.
He didn't want to hear about how Sunny was probably still out there. No one had seen her in two weeks. If she hadn't shown up somewhere by now, the chances of her still being alive were slim to fucking none.
What he needed was a distraction, and Alexandria was the perfect diversion. It was his least favorite group of survivors but the most fun. Rick was the easiest to rile and his submission the most rewarding. Not all the leaders of the communities they visited were limp dicks like Gregory, but most rolled over without much effort. Negan had to actually work to get this group under his thumb.
The glares from the people atop the gate fueled his acrimony. If anyone deserved to be the scapegoat for all the shit he was feeling, this group was it. They could all eat a bag of dicks.
The neighborhood was idyllic. Beautiful houses lined clean streets. Grass grew in the yards and flowers bloomed in raised beds. It was a huge fucking leap up from an old dirty factory. It would be a sweet setup if it weren't for the puffed-up prick who thought he was in charge.
This is what Sunny had deserved. A home in a gated community. The only things missing were white picket fences and PTA meetings.
Rick came down the street followed by his backup dancers, Daryl and Carol. His bow-legged strut, hands on his hips, made the sadistic smile spread across Negan's face. Showtime.
Negan hopped out of the truck. He swung Lucille with a flick of his wrist before flinging her over his shoulder, careful not to snag his leather jacket with the barbed wire.
"You're two weeks early, Negan," growled Rick in his southern drawl. He wanted to punch that smarmy look off that asshole's face. Beat him until he was as bloody as Glenn and Abraham had been. If anyone deserved a slow painful death, it was Negan.
"No, hello? No, how are you? Where's the hospitality, Rick? Are you sure you want to take that tone with me?" Negan was itching to teach someone a lesson. Please let it be Rick, he thought.
Rick's eyes dropped to the ground. His jaw clenched, but no more hostility came spewing from his mouth. "We're not ready. We don't have enough yet," he said, shifting his weight in his cowboy boots.
Negan knew they hadn't had enough time to meet any quotas. But he didn't care. Not anymore. "Well, that sounds like a fucking you problem that you better not make a me problem there, Rick."
A small group had gathered outside. People on porches, peeking behind curtains. Everyone watching. Waiting. Rick sighed in defeat, knowing there wasn't a damn thing he could do to stop this. Any form of defiance would result in someone's death and he knew he could shoulder any more guilt on his shoulders.
Negan approached Rick, throwing an arm around his shoulder. His men followed in his wake just waiting for his word. "Let's get this show on the road here, Rick. Our audience is waiting."
"The Saviors?" Sunny asked, feigning ignorance. Why was the universe against her? Or was this a sign?
"They come once a month and take half the stuff we've scavenged as payment for them 'protecting' us from hoards of walkers." Denise looked at the young woman near her. She had to warn her. To help her protect herself a little. She seemed so innocent. "They're a bad group. The worst. I'm going to go hide some of our medicines. Stay inside. You might want to go hide upstairs. It's best to avoid these assholes."
Sunny stood alone in the entryway. A bad group. They were bad? Denise had to hide medicine from them so they wouldn't take it? Her brain tried to wrap itself around this information. Negan was bad? Oh god, was he with them? Was he outside?
Shouting had commenced. There was no mistaking the deep timbre that bellowed outside. Negan was less than 50 yards away. Did he know she was there? What would happen to the people around her if they found her here? Would they be punished for harboring a fugitive? If they weren't now they would be when she was obviously pregnant in a few months, and he found out. They didn't deserve that.
Sunny fetched her bag. There was only one thing to do. She had to protect the people who lived here. And she had to do what was best for her baby. And Negan would do whatever he had to protect her. To protect them...she hoped.
Getting her first real glimpse of Alexandria, she was shocked at how domestic and clean it appeared. It was untouched by the world outside the gate. No windows were broken or boarded up. Lawns were manicured. It was the kind of neighborhood she had only seen on television. Only the people standing in it reflected the state of the world beyond its borders in clean but mended clothing and their weapons strapped to their bodies or ready in their hands.
She took in the scene before her. The trio of people who had brought her inside were facing off with Negan who had his own group of people behind him that looked like they could be a biker gang, all of them dressed in shades of black and grey. The tension in the air was high as though any small spark would set the whole place ablaze.
Sunny pushed past a few people standing in front of the house that acted as a hospital. Her eyes met Tara's who shook her head at Sunny, trying to warn her. They wouldn't understand. Not really. The guilt at her deception tugged at her heart. Shoving it aside, she walked into the street.
She was a few feet away before The Saviors all turned their weapons on her. Negan's arm dropped from the cowboy's shoulder. His head turned to look at his people who were cocking their guns. He spun around to see what they were locked on.
Sunny stared into his hazel eyes as they drank her in. He took half a step, his mouth slacked in a stunned moment of silence before his brow furrowed and teeth clenched. He raised his hand to call off his people then closed the distance between. Everyone else seemed to disappear with every step he took.
She yearned to run to his arms. To wrap herself around him. To beg him for forgiveness. But she stayed put although she could feel the gawking and hear the whispers of everyone around them. Letting him come to her. To handle this reunion how he saw fit. To keep the situation under his control. Because after all, that is what he wanted. Wasn't it?
Negan heard the clicks of guns being aimed behind him. He looked behind him to see what the hell was going on. All his Saviors had their guns pointed at a lone figure approaching him.
His breath caught. Sunny. She stopped. Not moving with the guns pointing at her. He raised his hands to call off his hounds. She was clean in clothes that were either too big or she had lost weight in the last two weeks. She had scrapes on her neck and bruises on her arms. What the hell had she been through?
He fought the urge to run to her. To drag her to the nearest bed and fuck her senseless, losing himself in her, showing her over and over who she belonged to. But all the fear and anxiety meshed into a wave of burning anger. For her to show up here. For these fuckers to have had her.
His brain was running through all the possible scenarios that could have happened. Did they know who she was? Did they hurt her for information? The fact that she was walking freely towards him seemed to debunk that theory. But what if...
How long had she been here? Was she trying to get home? Did she regret leaving? Negan set his teeth. It didn't matter. None of it did. The only thing that mattered now was getting her home and keeping her there.
He walked forward, towering over her. He gently grabbed her upper arm, leading her towards the truck. "Dwight, ride back with the others. Leave their shit. Give them the extra two weeks. Make it known I expect some good fucking returns for the extra time."
Negan opened the passenger door for Sunny and closed it behind her as she sat silently staring at her hands in her lap. He sent one last glare to Rick who watched the two of them with confused interest. Let that dickhead wonder. Let them all twist what they are seeing into another boogie man story to keep them straight. He climbed in, backed out, and put the truck in drive.
Stealing glances at the small form next to him, he couldn't believe she was there. Alive. Next to him. His mind flashed with visions of the last time they were in the truck as he drove her to The Sanctuary for the first time. No...it was not time to be thinking of that. He needed to get over the shock, over the hurt, anger, and overwhelming relief that fought for dominance in his mind.
He wanted to hold her close. Cover her body with his, keeping her against him as he breathed her in, but he couldn't. He couldn't trust himself not to give in to her completely. There had to be a balance. Until he could deal with their situation without losing his fucking mind, he would say nothing.
He needed to just get her home. If he could just see her in their room, he could calm down. He didn't know if he could even talk right now without sounding furious. The thought that she could bolt again, kept his mouth shut. Something that rarely happened.
Sunny watched Negan's hands gripping the steering wheel, the knuckles white as they squeezed. He hadn't said anything to her. Nothing at all. Was he even happy to see her? She thought maybe he was at first but he'd turned so cold. So angry.
"Negan?" she whispered. "I'm so-"
"No." he interrupted abruptly through gritted teeth. His self-control was slipping. Emotions threatening to bubble to the surface. The urge to fall to his knees, crying, begging her to never leave him warred with the need to yell, to tell her how stupid and careless she had been. He had to remain calm.
She realized then how much she had hurt him. How was she going to tell him? Would he listen? Did he even still want her? Was he just taking her back to The Sanctuary for show? She endured the rest of the ride in silence. Contemplating what was ahead of her. Trying to hide the tears that silently slid down her cheeks as she watched the trees and scenery speed past her window.
As the world outside turned from rural to urban, the factory loomed ahead. A great gray mass or metal and concrete. So cold and desolate. Nothing at all like the beautiful homes and trimmed lawns within the walls of Alexandria or the open fields and farms of her home.
As they pulled into The Sanctuary, Sunny realized it was the first time Negan had been seen with her. He walked her through the grounds and building, his hand wrapped around her wrist as he led her to their rooms. People kneeled as they walked by. Curious eyes flicking up at her. He was making sure everyone saw them. That everyone knew who she was this time around. There would be no anonymity, no sneaking around, no fake names. Everyone would know who she was and who she belonged to.
Negan opened the door to their room, propping it open for her. Just having her here made the room feel like home again. Even with everything unsaid between them. He walked into the room as she lingered by the door and sat on the couch. He looked up at her as she chewed on her bottom lip, her hands holding her backpack in front of her. She looked so lost. With a flick of his wrist, he motioned for her to sit in a chair opposite of him. He couldn't trust himself to sit next to her.
Sunny took her place. What exactly did he want? He had rebuffed her apology in the truck before she could even finish.
"Well?" he prompted. He didn't think he could wait another excruciating minute, but he also didn't know if he wanted to hear what she had to say.
She looked at his face. He was angry. So angry and hurt. The circles under his eyes were deep and dark. His lips tugged into a frown that seemed to etched lines that weren't there just two weeks ago. His stubble had turned to a beard. She could tell breaking down the walls he had built because of her would be difficult. She watched him, not knowing how she could do that. How could she make any of this right?
"Well, what do you have to say for yourself?" he asked coolly.
"Sunshine," she said.
"Excuse the fuck out of me? Now isn't the fucking time to be asking for pet names." His brows lifted in incredulity. She had to be kidding. She couldn't actually expect him to coddle her right now? After everything he had been through the last 2 weeks, everything she had been through according to the marks he saw covering her arms.
"It's not." She shifted in her seat, tucking her legs underneath her.
He leaned back, his arms crossing. Fine, he'd play her game. "What the hell are you talking about?"
This was it. There was no turning back. There was no time like the present to break this particular chunk of wall that had always been between them. "Sunshine. It's not a pet name. It's my name."
"What do you mean?" There was no fucking way that was her actual name. "I've called you Sunshine plenty of times."
Her shoulders lifted in a coy shrug. "But you never officially guessed it."
"Are you fucking serious?" Little brat! He'd called her by her name and she never let on. Let him keep using it without knowing what it meant.
"It gets worse…" She couldn't believe she was about to tell him everything. But if this is what it took to melt the ice surrounding his heart, then this is what had to happen.
He glared at her. "How?" He had to hear this. How could it possibly get worse than being named Sunshine? That's a fucking name for a cartoon character, not a person.
She sighed in defeat. "My full name is Sunshine Meadow Lark."
"You've got to be shitting me." The corners of his mouth twitched. His hand moving instinctively to smooth them back down into a grimace. "What the fuck was wrong with your parents?"
Her eyes focused on the ceiling as she took another deep breath. "It gets worse…"
The energy around him had shifted. The dark aura lifted as his curiosity got the better of him. "Worse? How?"
"My sister." Her hands covered her eyes. She couldn't face him knowing the words that were about to come out of her mouth. "We called her Rain."
"Jesus fuck. Sunshine and Rain?"
Sunny shook her head. His eyes were brimming with amusement. She fought her own smile.
"Worse?" Negan leaned forward, his elbow resting on his knees. "Please tell me it's fucking worse."
Sunny nodded. "Rainbow Hummingbird."
Negan could no longer contain himself. His head fell back as he barked out a loud laugh, filling the room with his mirth. "What the actual fuck?"
"My parents were second-wave hippies. For the first few years of my life, I grew up in a commune. All the kids had names like Apple Blossom and Ocean Sky. I mean, I knew a kid named Shining River Stone. It was all fun and games until the leader decided they should share everything...including wives. He went after my mom. My dad did not take kindly to that and beat him up pretty bad. We were kicked out. After that, my dad trusted no one. That's why we lived as off-grid as possible."
"Holy shit. Sunshine fucking Meadow Lark. God damn, honey. No wonder you didn't want to tell me. How the fuck did you turn out so normal with parents like that?"
"Being normal was pretty much the only way to rebel against parents like mine," she said, picking at the leather on the arm of the chair she sat in.
He stared at her, the amusement slowly fading as they sat in the silence that followed her confession. "Why did you leave, Sunny?"
Her gaze turned to the carpet on the floor. "You know why."
"I was going to get you a job that day. I was waiting to see you, to tell you."
Was that true? she thought. Could this have all been avoided if she had just stayed and trusted that it would all work out?
"Why did you come back? You could have stayed hidden in Alexandria. How long were you there? Did they hurt you?"
"I only got there yesterday. They didn't hurt me. I got scraped up walking through the woods. I'm fine." She noticed his grim expression sneaking back across his face at the mention of her trek in the wilds. "I came back because I missed you. I almost turned around so many times. I thought what I was doing was right. Convinced myself to get going. Thought I knew what I wanted, but I finally understand." Her pulse quickened, stomach churned as her palms began to sweat.
"Understand what?" he asked.
"Why you wanted to keep me safe at all costs." Her voice cracked with emotions she'd been able to keep inside most of the day. But she feared the dam was about to break. Would he rescue her from drowning in them or run from the flood?
"You do?" he asked, his deep voice a whisper. He wanted her to understand. He wanted her to know that everything he had done had at least come from a good place. A place where he cared more about her safety and well-being than anything else.
She nodded, trying to stay the tears she could feel threatening to build. She had cried enough. Maybe it was hormones or maybe she was just scared, she couldn't tell. "Yeah, because that's how I felt when I found out…"
"Found out what?" he prompted.
"I'm-um-" She took a deep breath, filling her lungs which refused to work.
"Spit it out, Sunny." What could possibly be so difficult to say? Didn't she know she could tell him anything? He would never hurt her or leave her. If anything horrible happened to her while she was gone he'd never forgive himself.
She mustered up her courage. Meeting his gaze, she let the words come. "I'm pregnant."
Negan sat back. He felt the color drain from his face. Without a word, Negan stood and walked out of the room.
Negan poured himself a bourbon. And then another. He paced the room across the hall. All the horrible things that could have happened to Sunny played in his head again and again as they had the last two weeks, but this time the added terror of a baby was in the forefront of his imagination. He would have never known.
Fuck. A baby? What kind of world were they bringing a child into? Why hadn't he thought to prevent this? He should have known better. His other wives had always taken care of those things. He had never had to think of anything or anyone but himself.
What if something happened to Sunny? What if something happened to the baby? How could something as small and innocent as a baby survive this world? This fucking world left too much to chance and too many fucked up horrible things could happen. Had he given his beautiful little wife a death sentence?
All he wanted was to keep her safe. No. All he wanted was to keep her for himself. Selfish arrogant prick. He had put her in more danger. Rick was bound to find out who she was, putting the target Sherry predicted firmly on her back, and now she had to survive bringing a baby into this world full of death and suffering.
He was a terrible husband, always had been. He wasn't that great of a teacher. He only knew how to lead through fear and intimidation. What kind of father could he possibly be?
Why couldn't he have left her alone? Because you wanted her more than anything. What was he actually capable of giving her in return though? A room, guards… But could he love her and a baby the way they needed?
Taking another drink, he set down the glass. He may not know what he was doing anymore. But that sure as shit wouldn't stop him from trying. Trying to show her how much they meant to him, trying to build a future, and trying to be deserving of their love.
Sunny curled up in the chair. No matter how isolated she had been in her house waiting for her family to come home, she'd never felt as alone as she did right this second. Was he going to abandon her? Send her home to deal with this on her own?
How else could she have expected him to act? She ran away and showed up at the enemy's home only to come back pregnant. He probably didn't want her anymore. Maybe he brought her home so she wouldn't be a liability.
What kind of life would she and their baby have? A broken home in a broken world. The real victim in all of this was the innocent life she carried. They didn't ask to be conceived or brought into a world where the dead roamed.
She laid there, drifting in and out of sleep. Worry and exhaustion catching up with her. The lights flicked on minutes or hours later, Sunny couldn't tell.
Negan knelt in front of the chair. "Sweetheart, why didn't you go to bed?"
She lifted her head off of the leather arm of the chair. "I wasn't sure it was my bed anymore."
He scooped her up, cradling her in his arms. "It's always yours."
Sunny leaned her head against his shoulder as he carried her to their bedroom. "Negan, I'm so so-"
"No." He sat her on the edge of the bed, his palm cupping her cheek, thumb grazed her bottom lip. "I'm sorry. So fucking sorry. I shouldn't have left you all alone. Not before and not just now. I didn't know how to deal with the fact that you could have been killed. And I'd have never fucking known. Having to live the rest of my fucking life not knowing if you were still out there."
"So you still want me?" She felt stupid for asking, but she needed to hear it.
"I'll always want you." He tugged her shoes off her feet before pulling off his own.
She shifted to the side as he climbed on the bed next to her. "And the baby?"
"Of course the baby." He laid down, gathered her close to him, savoring the feel of her in his arms. It broke his heart that she had to ask, but he couldn't fucking blame her.
Her fingers picked at this t-shirt. "I thought you were angry."
"I wasn't angry. I was fucking terrified. I've never had so much to fucking lose."
"So, you're not mad? Not disappointed?" She hadn't figured him to be a family man. Was he really okay with becoming a father? She still couldn't wrap her head around any of this.
Negan grinned. "Are you fucking kidding me? I'm not saying this is an ideal situation. But how could I not love our baby? And on top of that, do you know how hot you're gonna be? All round. How big your boobs are gonna get?"
Sunny slapped his shoulder and laughed for the first time in weeks. "You mean, how fat I'm gonna get?"
He pressed his forehead to hers, his hands grabbing handfuls of her ass. "Mmmm. More to fucking love, honey."
Pressed up against him, his body so long and strong, Sunny reached up, pulling his face closer to hers before pressing her lips against his. His kiss tasted of alcohol. She opened her mouth, coaxing him with her tongue, needing to feel him. To know that he still wanted her.
His throat rumbled with a growl that sent shivers down to her toes. His hand gripped her thigh, pulling it over his hip. He pressed his hardening cock against her, grinding into her. It was almost too good to be true.
The last two weeks had been torturous. The stress, the anger, the celibacy. He had dreamed of her every night, fucking his fist to feel some sort of relief. He needed to bury himself deep inside her. Lose himself in her wet warmth again. Maybe then he would know truly that this was real.
Their bodies rocked against each other as their hands pulled at one another, desperate to be closer. It was still not enough.
Panting, they pulled away just far enough to clumsily tug and tear at each other's clothes. Laughing as their shirts refused to go over their heads and pants caught around their ankles until they were bared before each other.
They sat on the bed staring at each other. Neither one moving. Sunny's laughter faded as she saw predatory gaze darken her husband's eyes as he gazed at her.
"Come here," he said, his voice graveled from desire.
Sunny straddled his lap, her hands gripping his cock lining it up with her entrance. She didn't care about anything else. They could take their time with each other later. Spend hours kissing, touching, and tasting. Right now, she needed him inside her. Had needed it since she first saw him. She rubbed the head of his cock against her slit, until it was slick, coating her folds and his cock.
Negan watched her body move over his. His cock leaking in anticipation. Sitting up, he leaned back on his hands, his head falling back as she worked him with her soft hands, spreading her wetness over him. He moaned as she lowered her body slowly. She worked herself down his length in short shallow movements before sinking down all the way to hilt.
Her hands came to his shoulders to steady her pace as she rode his cock, rolling her hips at the base. Leaning, forward she kissed him again, his beard tickling her chin. She shifted her weight, trying to find that perfect angle that would give her the friction she needed. A gasp caught in her chest as his teeth nipped her bottom lip.
"Not yet," he commanded, sitting upright. His voice rumbled against her throat as he gripped her hair and gently pulled, tilting her head back. His other hand cupped the weight of her breast before pinching her nipple, releasing it with a slight pull.
He knew the feel of her coming around him would be his undoing and he wanted this to last as long as it could even if only a few more minutes. She was so tight. So wet. The sounds of their bodies working in tandem filled what little space was between them.
He opened his legs wider allowing her to sink down further. "Hands on the mattress."
Sunny complied, leaning back on her hands with her legs thrown over his extending behind him.
Negan's eyes drank in the sight of his cock buried in her pussy. His thumb spread the slickness that gathered where they were joined until her clit was coated. Each gentle pass made the muscles in Sunny's thighs twitch.
"Do you want to come, honey?" he asked, knowing the answer, feeling the quiver that ran through her body as he teased and tormented her.
"Yes, please." Sunny arched trying to gain leverage in her position.
His thumb circled her bundle of nerves, slowly building up speed until she collapsed on her elbows. Her knees bent, feet planted on the mattress by his ass. She pushed against it to ride his cock.
"I want you to come on me. I want to feel that sweet pussy squeezing my dick."
"Yes," she panted. "I'm so close. Please."
"Tell me you're mine," he whispered, a mixture of command and plead.
Sunny looked into his hazel eyes. "I'm yours. Only yours."
His thumb worked in tandem with the pace her body set until her muscles contracted around him, her back arching, legs pressing against his sides. He pulled her up to sitting, against him before rolling her onto her back.
Negan loomed over her, his hands on either side of her shoulders. He thrust inside her as aftershocks of her orgasm subsided. Her legs fell open as he quickened his pace. He couldn't hold back. He'd needed this, needed her for so long. Her moans below him spurred him on. His pace faltered. His cock pulsed as he came deep inside her, falling to his elbows as he shook from the intensity of his climax.
Sunny wrapped her arms around him, stroking his back with her fingers as he recovered. She had missed him more than she realized. She did feel safer with him than anywhere else. Happy even though she knew there was so much more to say and to plan ahead of them. That was tomorrow's problem though.
Negan fell to the side, pulled back the bedding currently underneath them then tucked them in. He rolled to his side, draping an arm over Sunny's abdomen. His breathing even out as they laid there, saying nothing. Just basking in the relief of being near one another. He watched her eyes droop and close, her lashes fanning over her cheeks, before allowing his to do the same. He fell asleep hoping she would still be there when he awoke, fearing that this would all be a dream.
Notes: Thanks so much for reading! If you like it, let me know. I appreciate all the feedback I've been getting and it's been keeping me going. I actually only have a few chapters left of this story. I'm hoping to keep the momentum going to finally get it finished. I've already started the next chapter.