"Okay, Andy take a breath and tell me what happened?" Tracey said as she sat down next to me and placed a cup of water in front of me before reaching out tentively and rubbing my arm.

Tracey wasn't only trying to give me some comfort but she was also seeking reassurance that me, her best friend was there beside her after 4 and a half months it almost didn't feel real.

"Listen Trace, before you say anything I'm so sorry about not telling you Luke sprung it on me right after my talk with Sam!" I asked pointing to the window where I knew others were able to stand to watch and listen…

Tracey shook her head and gently rested her hand on mine that was anxiously bouncing on the table.

"No, sweetie don't worry about it, anyway I'm not interviewing you I'm here to talk as your friend nothing more than that just here to listen.

This is Blackstone's op you will do a debrief with him tomorrow. What I want to hear is how you are really?" Tracey asked pausing while I sat deep in thought biting my bottom lip which I often did when I was nervous Tracey took a deep breath deciding to try a different topic than the Undercover Op.

"Andy? How far along you are?" She almost whispered that last bit now unsure if Sam was there or not.

"How did you?" I asked as tears began to flood down my face. Taking a deep steadying breath, I turned and looked at my best friend who was waiting patiently for me to gather my thoughts to share.

Tracey laughed quietly and smiled "Sweetie I have been there! You never take your hands off your stomach; you have a beautiful glow going on AND you keep wrinkling your nose every time I have a sip of coffee!" She said gently no anger or hurt evident in her voice at all.

"All signs and symptoms you had with Leo?" I paused and sighed feeling relieved at the chance to finally tell someone…

"I'm just over two months Trace, I found out about a month or so after mine and Nick's long weekend off that Blackstone gave us and when I told Blackstone, he said that it was safer for the op to keep me under!" I explained wiping my face madly as I spoke but before I could continue the door to the interrogation room opened revealing a confused, worried, and angry Sam, Jerry, and Oliver who all quickly walked into the room.

"Sam, I-" was all I managed to whisper before he took off out the door as fast as he had entered.

I knew he was going to need time to process this and I knew Sam well enough to know that he was also going to get some answers from not only Blackstone but Callaghan as well since if what I said was true which in his heart he didn't doubt it wasn't he knew about it but wouldn't pull her from undercover instead not only putting me at risk but our baby too.

"He needs time Andy; he will come and talk when he is ready!" Oliver said as I made to follow Sam and Oliver had rushed forward to stop her.

Seeing the look in my eyes made him want to comfort me and try and ease some worry for me.

"I'll go and check on Sammy, Jerry why don't you and Nash here take Andy home. I'll check on you guys later!" He said as he walked out the door and rushed down the hall in search of his friend.

Jerry had now seated himself on the other side of me and spoke almost wishing the answer weren't what he thought it might be.

"You came back and saw Sam that weekend didn't you?" He asked nodding gently towards Tracey who was now comforting me in the best way she could given how heavily I was crying.

I couldn't do anything but nod my head at Jerry.

Nodding he added "So Blackstone knew you were pregnant when you went off the wire then. That Ass-hole if Sammy doesn't kill him I will!" He said as he gently stood up shaking his head angrily before turning to Tracey and I still sitting at the table.

"Trace, you take Andy home once we go and see Frank, I'm sorry Andy but he needs to hear this from you." He said placing his hand on her should and that of his fiancé's .

Telling Frank what happened was not easy, but I knew deep down that she and Sam hadn't done nothing wrong, nor had Nick or I.

Once again an Undercover Operation involving officers from 15 division had gone south because of the detectives running it.

First Boyd now Blackstone and by extension Callaghan as well, to say Frank was angry would-be being way to nice as soon as Tracey, Jerry and I left his office he was on the phone to Superintendent Peck, he would not stand for this kind of slackness that had endangered not just two of his officers but an unborn child they had no idea about as well.

That was almost 2 months ago, Sam came over about 2 hours after Tracey left and we talked, I told him anything he asked me even if it wasn't needed I just needed to tell him what I had been through and hear how he had been after that wonderful weekend we had and how he kept his promise that he would wait for me when I came back however long that took.

About a month after Nick and I got back I was on desk duty thanks to Mr worry-wart Detective Swarek who wanted me off the streets from day one, so I was either on desk or helping the detectives with anything they needed, all was going well until one day I was walking holding a coffee for Sam while talking to Tracey about baby names and I felt a sudden pain that caused me to drop the cups I was holding and rush to the bathroom, Tracey followed only pausing to call Sam on her cell as she rushed after me.

"Andy?" Sam almost yelled as he came straight into the locker room in search of us, I could barely speak and Tracey was already on the phone to EMS who were on route with an ETA of 2 minutes.

As soon as Tracey got off the phone she reassured a now stressed Sam that they were coming and that she had expressed concern that it was something to do with the baby which only made Sam hold onto me tighter.

As I was rushed out of the station and into the waiting ambulance Sam insisted on coming with me so Tracey and Jerry followed in a squad with Oliver who had all just finished shift.

Frank asked to be kept updated as did the rookies who were still unaware although they had their own ideas of what was really going on.

When I reached the hospital there was nothing they could do, the pain I

felt was indeed our baby passing away, the staff did a scan and bloods to confirm the miscarriage and passed on their condolences along with giving myself and Sam numbers for different groups and supports that could help us both through this difficult time.

I was given 3 weeks off work and pain relief to help anything else that came afterwards.

I was cleared for duty and about to start my first shift back at 15, Sam picked me up and we stopped by our favourite deli on the way in because It was what would get me through the day, first shifts were always hard on anyone who had been away.

Getting ready for work passed without a problem once we got to the barn we met Oliver on the way in who hugged me and slapped Sam on the back before leading the way only muttering

"I missed you McNally, it's about time we got you back again!" I looked at Sam who just chuckled and rolled his eyes.

Leaving me at the door to the women's locker Sam kissed me on the check before heading in to put his bag away.

"Hey Trace!" I called as I walked in and unlocked my locker grabbing my shirt straight out and pulling my jacket off and changing into my uniform as quickly as I could I talked with Traci for a bit as we dressed and got ready for Parade.

"Ollie is over the moon about you being back Andy!" She said as we walked into the parade room ten minutes later…

"I know about time was what he walked in muttering just before…" I told her laughing and winking at Sam who was sitting at the back with Oliver and Jerry grinning like a five-year-old…

Parade passed without issue and all too soon it was time to head out on patrol walking to the board to see who I was riding with I groaned mentally at who I was partnered with, feeling Sam behind me I went to mention it to him but was interrupted before I even got a word out.

"McNally, looks like you're riding with me today." The voice began and then continued only to be interrupted by Oliver saving me as usual, "I'm just going to go back, get my, um"

"Actually Cruz, I um, I think I'll take McNally today.

I think she's probably pretty rusty, and I wouldn't want to impose her on anyone before she's back up to speed." He said winking at Sam who now stood behind me with his hand on my back rubbing it up and down trying to keep me calm as I discovered my partner for the day.

Looking from me to Oliver to Sam and back again Cruz sighed and stubbornly smiled before replying

"Absolutely, be my guest." Ollie had saved me once again… this time it was from Cruz, Sam's ex-girlfriend from the academy who didn't like the fact that she had been trying to win over Sam and the minute I return from my UC he and I get back together without Sam having a second thought about her.

Of course, at that time she was under the impression that no one had a claim on Sam my return just made Marlo more desperate and even though she was always asking him around to her place or turning up at his place he never agreed or even bothered to acknowledge her actual intention he was too hung up on the fact that he was waiting for me to come back…

FLASHBACK

Nick walked out of his bedroom taking the phone down from his ear and hanging up…

"What?" I asked worried we'd just had our cover blown or something. Nick smiled just a little which gave me instant relief.

"That was Blackstone looks like we have a weekend off this coming weekend.

I reckon we should stay here and do something but we are allowed to go home if we want…" Nick said to me as he dropped down onto the couch next to me in our UC apartment one afternoon.

I suddenly became excited and nervous all in the same moment, I wanted to go home to fix things with Sam but in more ways than one I was too scared and wanted to stay where I was, where I had run away to just to get away from him and try and sort out my life…

Sorting out my life had been exactly what I had done that very weekend. I messaged Sam using code so it wasn't traced in case something went wrong during our op.

Sam,

I know you just as much if not better than you know me.

We met by accident and I never want to forget that, yes things have been difficult but I want a chance to change my mistake. PLEASE meet me where we began our journey.

I Love You Now and Forever

A

I hoped that this wouldn't give too much away to anyone but Sam I read it and re read it several times before I sent it through to him on the mobile number he had while we were together I hoped that he hadn't changed his number.

He hadn't, later that night I got a text back-keeping to code of course…

I'd love to, I'll meet you where you tackled and tried to kiss me just name the time I want to give you a chance, after all it wasn't just you that made mistakes.

Love Always, S

And so it began, our texting in code, in secret I didn't even tell Nick what I was planning with Sam all I told him was that I was going away alone for the weekend and that he could do as he pleased.

I knew I had to at least try and fix things with Sam. If he loved me like he said then he would be waiting for me wouldn't he?

I asked myself as I packed a small bag and booked a cab over early the next morning…

I started at the alley where we first met and waited but when he wasn't there within half an hour I walked to his apartment hoping he was there…

I hoped he had the day off because the only thing we hadn't discussed was what time we would meet up and where, so I took a quick but big step towards his door reaching a hand out towards the door I placed my bag down on the porch just to stop my hand from shaking as it contacted the door once, twice and three times.

I took as step back so that it could open it took a while and I began to think he may have been at the station which meant ringing him to find out but relief washed through me when the door in front of me opened to reveal Sam grinning widely at me.

He grabbed my bag as I stepped inside and he closed the door behind me, the second that happened I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned into his arms that had wrapped around me.

"Hi!" He whispered against my lips as he kissed me gently but firmly while pushing me back against the door.

"Hey, I've missed you so much!" I whispered against his lips as I pulled myself up between the door and his body.

"Enough talking McNally!" He said growling into my lips as he lifted me into his arms and backwards towards his bedroom…

END FLASHBACK

Sam and I spent the entire weekend talking among other things and then I went back under…

Nick still knew nothing and that was how it was going to stay…

Sam and I had agreed that much…

I couldn't help but feel happy, like nothing could break down my buzz or my happiness.

Oliver had stopped a down moment hitting me and Sam as always was there to back him up.

My knight in shining armour or knights as the case was today…

"Let's go McNally" Called Oliver as we watched Marlo walk away with a slight tilt of her head and angry look crossing her face as she passed a confused Tracey and Jerry in the hallway.

"What was that?" Tracey mouthed as she caught my eye through the glass between us I shrugged my shoulders and turned to Sam who was busy giving Oliver a hard time and reminding him to look after me out there…

I grabbed Sam's arm and kissed his cheek before whispering "I love you" and "be good".

"Yeah, you too." Sam managed before I dashed out the door after my now impatient partner for the day.

As we made our way through the city the silence was killing me "I-I barely recognize the city anymore." I said hoping that would break the ice…

"Well, you were gone for a while, I'll give you the talk again I'm Oliver Shaw, I'm your training officer…." He said trailing off as I looked at him with a huge grin on my face that only mirrored his.

"Ha-ha" I laughed playing swatting his arm as we grinned.

"You seem happy!" He said as we stopped at a set of lights on the corner of Duncan and Smith…

"I am, he makes me happy… I mean things are different but… it's good, It's better than good, it's great!" I began suddenly feeling uncomfortable and me being me I decided to change the subject…

"Hey so how are the girls?" I asked praying Ollie would get the hint…

"They're great, they're great I am actually back home." He said grinning like a little child at his news.

"No way!" I said amazed Sam hadn't told me

"Yeah, Zoe and I decided to give it another shot." He said confirming what I had hoped.

"Oliver, that's fantastic, I'm so happy for you and you know what, it feels good to be backing home again." I said smiling at the memory of my first night back home.

"I bet!" He said winking at me as if he could read my mind and with that we went back to silence for a while before once again I had to break it….

"Is that lemonade place up here? Are you thirsty?" I asked knowing Oliver never said no to food.

"Yep, it's around here freshly pressed AND I've got a customer card that loves to be punched." He said looking at me suddenly concerned…

"Great, let's punch it." I said forcing a smile… I wasn't sure why I suddenly felt the need to have a lemonade with Ollie but I knew he would know the right things to say if I felt like talking… he was after all Sam's Best Friend…

It's not those things were bad with me and Sam they were far from that we were happy, in love and normal well as normal as he and I could get. There was one thing stopping me from being completely happy well more like one person.

I knew Sam would never go there but it still weighed on my heart that they had a history and he kept brushing it off each time I tried to bring her up by saying "The Past is the Past McNally let's leave it there yeah?" of course I always agreed after all I wanted to make Sam happy and keep it that way I wanted Sam in my life and this was the only way I knew how..

"All right, so I'm going to be about five minutes. You stay on the radio, okay? Oh, hold on." Oliver said bringing me out of my thoughts suddenly.

"Wait let me buy just a small, please." I said handing Oliver some money and smiling

Ollie laughed "Right, just a small $5 well, that's overstating the obvious." He said as he took the money and shut the door.

I smiled widely as Oliver left and went into the shop near where we had parked. I was instantly bored so I decided to look around the place while staying in the car and on my radio as instructed…

Just then, something caught my eye… a few people hurrying out of the bank across the road but they were looking scared and rushing out the door not like a normal person or myself who would just casually walk out the door and off down the street so instinct took over and I got out of the car and went to investigate… BIG MISTAKE MCNALLY!