So this is my bangsty one shot for the spiral the promo for OC 2x2 sent me into... lol. Enjoy.
Dick Wolf owns everything
Let it Burn
Olivia held him… He had collapsed at her feet. He was down on his knees, gripping her with every ounce of strength he had left. He was losing it and it took everything in her not to break… She had to be the one to hold it together… hold him together. Even though he hadn't been there to do the same for her when she needed him the most.
But it's Elliot. She would do anything for him. That thought alone was splintering her mind. She tasted acid in her mouth as she slowly swallowed, knowing her next words might be the end of her.
She'd said them once before and what happened after was… well earth shattering. His children were there… so the after math was forced into a box and tucked away… like he never said it… but his kids aren't here now. It was just the two of them.
The implications of that knowledge and what could possibly happen now shook her to her core. But again, this is Elliot… her Elliot.
"Elliot…tell me what you need…" she whispered knowing whatever his answer was she wouldn't… couldn't tell him no.
Elliot took a breath; he was shaking, and tears were pricking at his eyes.
"I need you…" he begged.
Olivia felt her heart stop. She closed her eyes squeezing them shut. She could feel it in her bones. His ache, his pain… his need for her. This was a place they had never been. Never openly anyway… never out loud. She wasn't sure what to say. She wasn't sure if she could say anything. She stood there trying to breathe, trying to slow her racing mind.
For what seemed like all her life she had waited for this. Waited for Elliot to turn around and see her. And now it somehow seemed… tarnished. She didn't want their relationship to escalate out of trauma. Even though their collective pasts were riddled with it. It was what brought them back… what brought him back to her. An ugly truth which brought upon the current circumstance.
But it wouldn't be them without… it being complicated.
Elliot tightened his grip on her, his face turned into her abdomen, and she could feel him breathing her in… his hands moving ever so slightly over parts of her body his hands had never touched.
She tensed at the sensation of Elliot's hands sliding unhurried up her back.
Don't… don't… don't…
It was all her mind was capable of thinking. She was scrambling in this losing battle. The battle between her heart and her mind. There was so much left unsaid between them… too much. He was undercover… not dealing with the murderer of his wife… becoming a different person to infiltrate …
This wasn't the right time… she needed to stop this. But how? If they ignited this… this thing that had been between them for twelve years… really twenty-two if she was being honest, they might just burn up in it. There would be no coming back.
"Elliot…" she said, her voice low and raspy.
Elliot moved his face from her sweater and looked up at her. The second they made eye contact nothing else existed in the world. His eyes were pleading. It cut so deep down into her soul she almost crumpled to the floor with him.
"Liv…" he begged. "I'm so sorry… I just…" he broke swallowing hard, feeling the edges of his foundation begin to crumble. He was hanging on by threads.
He had told Bell he would be fine going under. He thought it would be the distraction he needed. Work always calmed him. But it had been ten years since it had calmed him in the way he was looking for now.
But he wasn't being fair to her now. He had gone under and not spoken to her since Fin's non wedding… since her accident. And he was here now asking her… begging her to put him back together. He didn't deserve her. But she was all he had.
"I feel like I'm… disappearing… and you're the only one who makes me… feel like …me…" he trailed off.
"You're the only one… who sees me… who ever saw me…" he choked out. Elliot then brought his hand up to her face and paused before he touched her. His fingertips grazed her cheek, and then wove their way into her hair. It was soft, comforting, beautiful… her.
He was lost.
But now not in his mind or in his trauma or this UC op…he was lost in her. The deepest well he had ever fallen into.
He had dreamed of combing his hands through her hair… what it would feel like… smell like… and it was everything he had ever imagined and more. He needed more of this… more of her. He was feeling all the empty places in his life, in his mind… in his heart, being slowly filled. Filled by the only person who could fill them. She was the only one.
This was… insane… Olivia thought. Was this really happening? She suddenly couldn't tell reality from her dreams.
She was frozen in place. Until his hand weaved through her hair and found her jaw, his touch was so light. She felt a shiver spread throughout her body and she couldn't stop herself from turning her head, placing the side of her face in his palm.
Again… she knew the next word she spoke would alter the course they were on. But she couldn't keep it from her lips anymore. She had lost her internal battle.
"El…" she whispered. She shut her eyes, feeling them well with tears. Her voice was laced with pain and ache and want and need. And suddenly she had never needed anything more in her life than his hand on her cheek.
She felt him grip her tighter at the shortened use of his name. His thumb smoothed down her jaw and over her bottom lip.
She opened her eyes and he shattered her.
It was over. Every ounce of strength she had left… every shred of dignity… all her resolve and the alarm bells in her head had instantly dissolved when she looked into those midnight blue eyes.
Let it burn she thought.
Before she knew what she was doing her lips found his as her hands slid up his neck pulling him to her.
He reacted instantly. He shot up off his knees, his arms snaking around her, pulling her up into him moving his lips over hers.
Suddenly she was surrounded by him. Their height difference now more apparent. He towered over her, taking a sharp breath in through his nose, his hands sliding under her cardigan as he parted his lips against hers.
The room felt like it was spinning, and her skin was on fire. She was being engulfed in a flame that burned so hot she almost thought she might not survive it. It had been the slowest burn in history, until now. Until Elliot had shown up at her apartment, unannounced, begging and pleading… needing her and lit a fucking match.
She needed more.
He may have lit the match, but when she slid her tongue into his mouth it was like pouring gasoline on the fire. Elliot couldn't breathe. All he felt and thought and tasted… was her. There was no stopping this now. They had crossed a boundary that had been set twenty-two years ago and it was the most liberating feeling. He couldn't think past this moment. This wasn't going to be just a one-time thing for him.
He needed her like how fire needs oxygen to live.
He wanted her… more than a hummingbird wanted a flowers sweet nectar.
He… loved her. He just… was so in love with her.
He loved her in a way that melted the rest of the world around him until the only thing left was her. In a way that made him whole again. In a way that struck him so deep down in his soul he knew he'd never be the same again.
He pushed her back until he had her up against a wall. He needed something to ground them, to stop the room from spinning them out of control.
Olivia's hands slid down from his neck, over his shoulders and through his arms, pulling him by his lower back into her, and a shot of electricity sped through him when she hooked her leg around his, pulling him into her again.
He had to break their kiss moaning as his erection pushed up into her. He brought his forehead to hers His breath was ragged, and his hands slid down to her ass, gripping her there. He wanted to be buried deep inside her and he didn't know how much longer he could control himself.
He wanted to make love to her the way she deserved. He wanted their first time to be unhurried, he wanted to praise her… satisfy her in every way, love her for hours, but there wasn't time for that. He was still undercover and knew he couldn't stay for much longer. He wanted to hold her and listen to her breathe while she slept. The second this op was over he was going to her… wherever she was. He was going to take his time. He was going to see her and feel her and give her anything she wanted… everything she deserved.
Answers… honesty… love.
She deserved it all.
He felt overwhelmed at all the emotions running through him, and he wanted to tell her.
"Liv… I…" he said, pausing remembering the last time he said something this heavy to her.
"I know…" she whispered; her voice laced with the slightest bit of pain.
It was like she was reading his mind. But then again, they never had to form full sentences with each other. They just knew what the other was thinking. Of course, over the ten years of radio silence they had both changed, but their synchronicity had picked back up almost right where they had left it. Like it was a blink of an eye and not a decade worth of nothing.
He looked deep in her eyes. He could see the pain there. It was too hard for her to hear it again right now. He could see the worry there too. He opened his mouth to apologize to her and she stopped him before he could.
"Just… promise you'll come back to me…" she said taking a sharp breath in, tears brimming her eyes.
"Liv… I give you my word… I'll come back to you…" he said, his voice clear this time. And he meant it.
And that was all she needed in this monumental leap they were about to take together. The promise he was coming back… to her.
She crushed her lips to his, deepening their kiss immediately. She had an inferno raging inside her now, and the only person who could put it out was Elliot. She broke their kiss to pull her cardigan over her head. She needed to feel him against her skin more than she needed her next breath. Elliot's eyes moved down over her newly exposed skin and she felt him growl deep in his chest. She trembled at the sound of his desire for her.
Her hands went to his belt buckle as he pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it somewhere in her apartment. She barely had it undone when he leaned down and captured the skin below her ear which resulted in a deep throaty moan being pulled from her lips.
Jesus fucking Christ he thought.
That sound would forever be imbedded in his memory. And he couldn't wait to make her make that sound again… and again and again.
Her hands found purchase on his broad muscular arms as he liquified her with his mouth on her throat. His left hand skimmed over her breast, and she whimpered, arching into him. She couldn't take much more of this. She wanted it all… all of him and it was overwhelming and she beginning to get over sensitized. She knew he would have to leave soon, and her insane need to feel him inside her was winning out over anything else.
"El… I need you…" she rasped in a high whisper, her hands moving to unzip his jeans.
Elliot nodded, knowing exactly what she needed from him. He kissed his way down her neck, across her collar bone and between her full breasts, groaning at his displeasure of not being able to spend the time he wanted too there. His hands found the waistband of her pants and hooked the inside of them, pulling her underwear down with them.
He breathed in the scent of her arousal. He kissed her thigh on his way back up, skimming his hands up the sides of her legs and he felt her shudder, goosebumps rippling across her skin. That kiss was a promise. A promise to spend as much time as he could there... next time, and she knew it. He couldn't wait to taste her… but time was fleeting now, and she needed to feel him. Just as much as he needed to feel her.
His mouth came back to hers, devouring her breath and thoughts, coveting her. Her hands went down to his pants, fully unzipping them and pulling them down enough to free him. Her hand slid over the hot thick length of him, and they both moaned breaking apart their lips.
He couldn't take her silky soft hand on him. He needed to be buried inside her and feel her surrounding him. She brought her leg up around his waist, and he took himself in his right hand and guided his cock to her entrance as his left gripped her hip to steady her.
His eyes met hers, needing to be connected in every way as they were finally on the verge of being connected in the one way neither of them had ever thought would ever happen.
He paused looking at her for a sign that this was ok… that this was what she wanted, and she answered him by bringing her hand to the side of his face, moving it down, smoothing over his jaw.
She wanted this. She wanted it more than anything… being on the threshold of burning everything down… everything they built over twelve years together… consumed her.
The look in her eyes was everything. He could see into her soul.
He thrust himself inside her for the first time and it took both of their breaths away. She bit her bottom lip hard, her head falling back on the wall behind her. It had been so long for her, and he filled her in every way. She couldn't wrap her mind around how absolute he felt now that he was finally inside her. She couldn't get over how… perfect he felt. How right he felt… like he had always belonged there
"Fuck… Liv…" he whispered almost silently. She wasn't sure if meant to say that out loud, but a small smile creeped over her lips.
She felt a tremor run through him and it quelled her nerves to know he was just as affected as she was. That was comforting… to know she wasn't the only one going up in flames. They were going up together.
She gripped his shoulder, digging her nails into his skin. She had wanted to explore all the parts of him that had always been forbidden but she needed him to move. His searing eye contact and the fact he was buried deep inside her was overwhelming her and she just needed to feel him move.
As if he was reading her mind, he slowly moved his lips to hers, kissing her with such softness and assurance she thought her heart was going to beat out of her chest and she was going to disintegrate into the wall behind her.
His fingertips dug into her skin and a feral growled rumbled deep in his chest as he broke their kiss. She could have come right there feeling the intensity that was distinctly Elliot as his raw blatant desire for her swept over both of them.
Then he pulled out almost all the way, and his hands ran down her ass to the backs of her thighs pulling her up, wrapping both her legs around his waist and slammed her back up against the wall thrusting himself back into her.
Sparks ignited behind her eyes and then it was all a blur.
All she could feel was him… all she could smell was him… all she could see, could hear… could taste was him. He had a monopoly on all her senses, and it was incoherently blissful, almost to the point of it becoming excruciating.
He didn't hold back. He couldn't hold back. He fucked her hard against the wall of her living room. His hands were hard gripping her ass, the same ass he'd been staring at for twelve years and then dreaming about for the last ten. He was slamming himself into her body unrelentingly in his quest to be deeper in her than any man ever had. He was on the edge of orgasm already and couldn't take it anymore. Her hot silky walls gripped him every time he slid out and he just wanted to lose himself in her.
He brought his mouth to her neck and bit her. He was rewarded with a whimper in his ear. Her breath was hot and heavy on his neck, and her hands slid up to the back of his neck, holding him to her as he tasted her skin.
"You're gonna make me come El… oh God… make me come…" she moaned in his ear.
He was about to fall of the cliff he was standing on and then her words in his ear, her voice laced with pure want, pushed them both off.
He was falling.
He thrust into her with abandon over and over again as his orgasm hit him hard and she shrieked as hers ripped through her, his name and Gods tumbling out of her mouth. He felt her thighs shaking and she dug her nails so deep in his back as she clung to him for life, she drew a little blood.
He rocked himself into her a few more times, spilling all of him into her.
He laid his forehead on her shoulder trying to catch his breath. Her hand came up from his neck, smoothing slowly over his skin delicately.
Her eyes were shut tightly, still trying to come to grips with what they just did. She was worried when she opened them and looked into his, there might be… regret there… pain… uncertainty. She couldn't take that, so she clung to these few seconds after they set the world on fire. She knew the smoke would clear and she'd have to face the ashes of what was left.
She felt him lift his head off her shoulder and relax his hold on her legs. He kissed her temple and pulled himself out of her, feeling the loss immediately. He helped her put her feet back on the ground and she loosened her grip on him, but he didn't move away from her. His arms moved slowly over her lower back pulling her back into him.
"Olivia…" he whispered trying to look at her face, but she was still tucked into the crook of his neck.
She took a deep breath in, the sound of him using her full name still reverberated in her ears. Time to survey the damage she thought.
She moved her head back against the wall and opened her eyes. What she saw in his eyes wasn't pain or regret. She saw Elliot. The Elliot she remembered from ten years ago. His eyes were bright blue and sparkling. Just like they use to be when he lingered on her too long. She knew this Elliot… her Elliot… and it melted her.
He saw the tears in her eyes, but a slow smile was pulling at her lips. He knew she felt it… probably saw it in his eyes. He had been drowning and she had pulled him out from under the deep water he was in and given him air. For the first time in almost ten years, he felt like himself again.
He knew it might still be too soon to say it, but he just couldn't leave her without saying it.
"I love you…" he said, sighing at finally being able to say it to her… this time without being in duress and in front of his children.
She blinked back her tears, bringing her hand to his face, smoothing over his jaw and all the new hair on his face. Her eyes moved to his lips, and then back up to meet his gaze. This time after he said those words to her, she didn't freeze. She let what she felt wash over her.
"I love you too…" she whispered. It was so overwhelming to say that out loud to him, she couldn't get her voice to work properly, and it came out softy, but she meant every word.
A smile spread across his face, and he threaded his hands through her hair and pulled her to him, kissing her tenderly.
He reluctantly ended their kiss, knowing he had to leave now, or he would end up blowing this undercover op because he would stay here with Olivia and never leave.
"I have to go…" he said, hating the circumstances. He wanted nothing more than to hold her and love her all night long, but that would come at another time, and he had to be ok with that. He had a job to do and the sooner he finished it, the sooner he could get back to her.
"I know…" she said, and he could feel her disappointment, but he knew she understood. Of all people she understood. He would never have to try to explain it to her like he had to with Kathy. She understood. She knew him like no else, and he knew her.
"I'll come back Liv… I promise." He said sealing it with a kiss. He let go of her and pulled his pants up as she ran her hands through her hair. He bent down and grabbed her cardigan pulling it over her, his hand lingered on her cheek before he went to find his shirt.
She stood there watching him finish dressing himself and then followed him to her door. He grabbed the doorknob turning and opened the door slightly. He paused turning back to her.
"I'll see you soon…" he said, kissing her again because he just couldn't leave her without feeling her lips on his once more.
When he pulled back, she took his hand in both of hers, pulling it to her chest, over her heart. His heart swelled at seeing this vulnerability in her.
"Be careful El…" she said, sucking in a breath knowing how dangerous this op was and a little bit of fear was starting to creep in. She didn't want him to go… she wanted him to stay. She had never wanted anything more at the moment, but she knew he had to go, and she would never stop him from working. They were the same in that respect.
"Always…" he said, and they both felt the unspoken meaning behind that word. He brought her hands holding his to his lips and kissed them and then he was gone.
Olivia closed her door quietly and stood there. She turned slowly and looked at her living room. Her heart started to beat faster remembering everything that had just happened. She could still feel his lips on hers… his hands on her skin…
She closed her eyes and let the vividly new memory of Elliot loving her take her mind over. She was going to have to cling to that until he came back. Until they could make a new memory… and hopefully many many more.