3. That was strangely detailed

"I really hope you aren't planning on entering the Grand Line with this thing", I said to Thatch as I was scanning our boat with judgemental eyes. He sighed - for the 100th time already - and looked like somebody who regretted their life decisions.

"No, of course not. Some of my crew members are waiting for me at a place. We're gonna have to meet up with them before we enter the Grand Line."

So, Thatch wasn't alone on his mission or raid or whatever. Good, more Whitebeard pirates to annoy and entertain myself with.

In the meantime, the man on the other side of the boat was deeply in his thoughts. How is he gonna explain the teenager with him? Wait... was she at least eighteen? He should've asked. She looked like she was... then again, appearances can be misleading sometimes...

He hoped he didn't just kidnap a little, defenceless girl from his brother from an East Blue island.

But she was the one that suggested the idea!

"So are you gonna swap now?"

"No. For the 200th time."

"Damn, are you counting?", I asked him with an innocent expression. Thatch just looked done.

"You really are a stubborn little girl, aren't you?"

"Yeah", I snickered. "One that you kidnapped, because you were stubborn yourself."

"You were the one suggesting!", Mr. Pompadour started to freak out.

"And if I say jump in the sea, you will jump? Aren't you the adult here?"

He paled again. Man, I loved messing with him.

"You ARE at least eighteen, right? Right?"

Man, that naive hope in his eyes...

"Maybe..."

"Oh my god, what did I do..."

I enjoyed watching the Whitebeard commander freak out and swim in guilt, but I quickly got bored. I didn't have anything to do here. How many days until we arrive at the Baratie again?

Yeah, no, I wasn't eighteen. I didn't change body-vise, so I assumed my age remained the same: seventeen years old.

How did I become Usopp's little sister then, if he was sixteen? I don't know. Let's just not question that part.

I didn't think this through. Bravery was one thing, self-sacrificing another, and being just plain stupid the least useful one. And although I didn't regret my decision to come with Thatch, I started to feel the weight of my actions with each passing minute. Of course, for now just mentally.

Let's be real, the only thing I punched in my life was my pillow when I was frustrated with my parents and I threw a temper tantrum while being a ten year old. I... don't really think that that memory or the power of that punch will do anything to anyone in here, really.

And I didn't test out the 'power of friendship' yet, so that one's out too.

My stats were on Level minus 100, I mean. And that wasn't looking good for me and my well being. This is what I meant when I said I wasn't prepared. For anything.

Of course, Thatch is with me, but this doesn't reassure me at all! He could be an Emperor's commander for all he wants, but the man left a devil fruit there for the whole world to see in his boat, and agreed to bring a girl with himself because he was being a stubborn idiot! On top of that, he is regretting his life decisions now.

What I'm saying is that I don't take him for a good bodyguard if someone decides I'm looking at them funny. And there are tons of people like that on the Grand Line.

"Thaaaaatch~~~"

He eyed me warily.

"Yeah?"

"You will protect me, right?", and here we go with the puppy eyes. Always worked on my father. "Because I can't hurt a fly for my life!", I beamed at him.

The man still looked done. And a little concerned now too.

"Why the heck do you have to be this reckless? Then why did you come with me?", he started to rub his forehead. He felt a headache coming from my direction.

"I already told you", I said with an 'are you an idiot?' look in my eyes.

He tried to form a sentence, but gave up when he realized he won't recieve a sane reply. One point for me, thank you!

"I just can't understand why are you this concerned about me and my life."

"And others' too."

"Yeah, and others' too."

We remained in silence after that. I could feel his gaze on me while I was watching the waves rocking our boat. I could imagine what a puzzle I was, but I didn't intend to help Thatch figure me out anytime soon.

It's too risky.

"So you are the head chef on the ship?"

"That I am!", Thatch proudly pointed at himself. He told me a few stories from his time on Whitebeard's crew. He didn't say it, but he was happy that I didn't freaked out every time his Pops' name came up.

He referred to Marco as the Blue Chicken or the Mother hen, obviously with the intent that I will stick with the nickname for him. And what friend would I be if I refused such an invitation?

I really liked Thatch's humor. And his pranks. Man, I wish I could've seen that nest in the 1st commander's room...

"I wonder if you are better than Red-Leg Zeff himself", I smirked.

He paused then looked at me curiously.

"You know him?"

"Naw", I yawned. The sun started to go down. "I just heard a lot of things of the Baratie, and it's cooks."

Which was true.

The atmosphere suddenly changed to a more serious one.

"... you know a lot of things, don't you?"

I looked at my companion with an unreadable face.

"Yeah."

"That could be dangerous, you know", he sighed. Poor man, he gained a lot of gray hairs already because of me.

"I can't exactly forget", I mused on my situation. Well, I could try to forget, but I don't really wanna have some mental disorder because of the effects of it...

"Hmm."

Thatch has been thinking a lot about his new companion. She is strange, stubborn, and for some reason, fixated on helping him. Why, he doesn't know. She told him a lot of things which didn't really made sense, but he let it go. He didn't think that the devil fruit he found would cause this many problems for him. But again, he couldn't just swap the two fruits when the girl insisted this much on the exchange. There was something fishy in that offer, and she knew it too - despite that, she insisted on coming with him and proving herself.

She didn't tell him the real reason why she wanted to swap the two fruits, and that's what was bothering him. He couldn't possibly trust her after that.

Zeff had a book on differnet devil fruits though, so maybe that could help a little. He could search up the two, and decide if the exchange would be safe for him and his crew.

He couldn't risk someone hurting his family after all. Either way, if the girl was right or wrong, he would definitely find answers at Zeff's.

Until then, it couldn't hurt to try and get to know the curly-head better, right?

"So Rea, what do you usually do in your freetime?"

I lifted one of my eyebrows at the sudden change of topic, but shrugged and replied.

"Well, I really like drawing, and playing on instruments. They always help me be calm, and they are a good way to relieve some stress too. I can play the flute like a professional!", I beamed at him. Memories started to pop out and I thought back to my world with nostalgia. "Other than that, I like cooking."

"Oho", Thatch's eyes started sparkling mischeviously. "So I'm face to face with a possible new rival?"

"Although it would be an honor to be challenged by Whitebeard's 4th division commander," I snorted. "I know for a fact that in a cooking-battle I would lose the moment you start to prepare your food. I just like to experiment and sometimes it comes out tasty."

"Well, cooking is an art in itself", he smiled.

...

Yeah, this is a pretty casual conversation. It's nice.

...

Boring. Let's switch it up a bit.

"So, Thatch. During the little time we were in each other's presence I noticed your lack of logical thinking and self-defence."

"Hey, what the-"

"No offence, my friend, but I'm just stating facts. What kind of veteran New World pirate leaves a bag open with a devil fruit and asks the first girl he sees for directions to a restaurant?"

His eyes started twitching.

"In my defence, most East Blue girls don't know about devil fruits, or at least think that they are just a myth."

"And obviously that was the case with me too, right?" Feel my sarcasm, please. I've been practicing.

"Well-"

"Thatch, if I wanted to, I could've killed you in that restaurant."

"Well that's just rude to assume", he frowned and crossed his arms.

Now MY eyes started to twitch.

"Thatch. Buddy. You literally fell asleep in the middle of my VERY important and well written presentation about why we should switch our devil fruits."

"Can you blame me for that? It was boring and long", he said with a deadpan look.

"My POINT", I started, still being angry about that little incident. "is that I had a kitchen knife and you were ASLEEP. What kind of an Emperor's crewmate are you?"

"Hey now! I know you can't really imagine it, but most of the pirates in the New World, like myself have skills which-"

"Your observation Haki sucks and is good for nothing", I stated the Mr. Obvious.

Thatch looked dumbfounded.

"Oh, don't give me that look!", I threw my hands in the air. "Like you said before, I know a lot of things."

The man composed himself quickly, although he was a little shaken about that tidbit of information.

Did that curly-haired, annoying, manipulative little brat just judge his abilities to keep himself alive and kicking?

"Well", he started a little uncomposed. "it's true that my Observation Haki isn't on the top, but..."

I hummed and decided that a new approach would be better.

"Okay!", I smiled at him brightly. He stared at me with wary eyes. Again. Is this a thing now? "I will give you a situation and you will tell me how would yo act in mentioned situation. You ready?"

After a few seconds the commander gave up trying to find the suspicious part of my little game and nodded.

"I think so..."

"Brilliant! So, Thatch. Let's just subtract me from the equation. You remain with your creepy devil fruit and your boat. You arrive home and everyone welcomes you. Suddenly someone asks about the fruit you found, and what do you say, what will you do with it?"

"Um... I didn't decide yet if I wanted to eat it or not?"

"Is that a question?", I sat there unamused.

"Just continue, okay?"

"So, the day passes and night comes. The dark night. The mysterious night. Where did you put the devil fruit?"

"On the table, I don't know-"

"Wrong!"

"Can't you just let me finish my sentences at least once?"

"You put it on your table and went to sleep, right? Right? In this situation, you are dead."

We sat there in silence. I could see the gears turning in his head.

"How the heck am I dead?"

I paused a little before my answer, but kept going anyway.

"Someone in your crew was a traitor who searched for your devil fruit his entire life, he had the night shift, he stabbed you in your sleep, he took the devil fruit with himself. This is the shortened version. Your story ends here. You're dead, because no one finds your body until morning when you don't come for breakfast."

Aaand, here comes Angry Thatch. Yey.

"There aren't traitors in Pops' crew."

"There might be", I retorted.

"There aren't and that's it." Oh boy, he turned away. He really is mad, isn't he?

I would feel bad if I wouldn't be trying to save his life in this moment.

"Look, I'm not asking you to question your crewmates' loyalty." He turned in my direction with a 'really?' look. "I'm just asking you to keep your mouth shut about that monstrosity in your bag, or if that's impossible, don't put the damn thing on your damn table, and if possible, be aware of your surroundings a little more the first night you go to sleep when you get home. Please, just... at least remember my words, will ya?", I looked at him with pleading, gentle eyes.

I'm just trying to save you, damn it. Moron.

Thatch looked done with the conversation and decided to turn back into himself, but I got a little nod with a deep sigh. That was at least something, right?

Yeah, I know. I'm really smooth with men.

Meanwhile, the head chef of the famous floating restaurant, the Baratie came out of the ship for some fresh air. He imediately noticed the little dinghy with the girl and that man with the ridiculous hairstyle. He hummed to himself, then quickly went back into the ship. The cooks were just finishing the packing of the chairs.

"Patty, Carne, a table for two! Sanji, in the kitchen! I think we will have a real challenge this evening."

And the smoking blonde immediately headed towards the kitchen, completely unaware of the little menace coming towards him.

Or in his case, the beautiful lady with the pompadour-bastard.