So, now we are at Thor Ragnarok. Thank you to Aragorn II Elessar for his use of the movie text.
Green Hal37: Yes, it would be distractingly cool. *Chuckles* No it will not. Why does it surprise you?
Guest 1: Well, Killmonger is a black supremacist who hates all white people because he blames them for how his life turned out. Honestly, I really don't think he would look too much into who Zemo was. If he did not have a use for Zemo, I think he'd just shoot him.
Guest 2: Indeed. It won't take Thor long to put the pieces together.
Guest 3: I agree, Steve and T'Challa would not last long in a fight against Hela. The only Avenger I can see lasting long in a fight against Hela, outside Thor of course, are Wanda.
Guest 4: Thank you, I'm trying but not sure I always succeed.
Guest 5: Well, that's a hard question and you really have to look at both Steve and Tony at the time of the fight. Tony had been growing increasingly irrational and emotional throughout the movie, all cultivating in the fight in Siberia. I'd say the chances were maybe fifty/fifty he would have killed Steve. On the other hand, I really can't see Steve losing it the way Tony did. He would probably disable the suit, maybe throw in a few punches afterwards, but the most I can see Steve doing is ending the fight and walking away.
Guest 6: Sorry, just doesn't make sense.
In a fiery cave, Thor was chained up in a cage as he said, "Now, I know what you're thinking. "Oh, no! Thor's in a cage. How did this happen?" Well, sometimes you have to get captured just to get a straight answer out of somebody."
"No kidding Point Break," Tony said, remembering being captured by Killian as Natasha and Clint nodded, having been captured many times as SHIELD agents in order to get information.
"Why are you in a cave?" Scott asked confused and Thor shrugged.
"I do not know," Thor admitted.
Thor said, "It's a long story, but basically, I'm a bit of a hero. See, I spent some time on Earth...Fought some robots, saved the planet a couple of times. Then I went searching through the Cosmos for some magic, colorful Infinity Stone things. Didn't find any. That's when I came across a path of death and destruction, which led me all the way here into this cage, where I met you." In front of him was a skeleton. Its lower jaw broke at that part.
"I guess your story was too much for him," Rhodey joked.
"Why are you talking to a skeleton?" Peter asked and Thor, once again, shrugged.
There was a rumbling as Thor asked the skeleton how long they'd be here. The cage then opened underneath and he fell down, still chained up. He was hanging now from the cage now. He heard laughter and saw Surtur sitting there, looking at him.
"What the hell is that?" Scott exclaimed as they all stared at the screen, although Thor did so for a different reason.
"Surtur. He's a fire demon. I thought my father had killed him half a million years ago," Thor said stunned.
"Apparently not," Steve noted.
"Thor, son of Odin." Surtur greeted with a laugh. Thor greeted back, "Surtur, son of…a bitch."
"Steve, Thor said a bad word," Natasha said and Steve rolled his eyes as everyone else laughed.
"Can't you let it go already?" Steve grumbled.
"Never," the original Avengers said in sync and Steve sighed.
Thor was shocked Surtur was still alive as Odin had killed him half a million years ago. Surtur said he couldn't die until he fulfilled his destiny of destroying Asgard. Thor said that was funny as he had been having terrible dreams lately of Asgard being destroyed and Surtur being at the center of it.
Thor tensed, remembering his vision that Wanda had shown him while she was working with Ultron. But he hadn't had any visions since, so this couldn't be her. What was it, Thor wondered.
"Then you have seen Ragnarok, the fall of Asgard." Surtur said, "The great prophecy…." Thor cut him off, asking him to tell about Ragnarok. Surtur said his time had come and when his crown will be reunited with the Eternal Flame, he shall be restored to his full might, tower over mountains and bury his sword deep into Asgard. Thor told him to stop as the chains were rotating too much and said this was happening on its own.
"Why couldn't you have been more like this before Point Break?" Tony asked as they all laughed.
"Would you have taken me seriously if I had?" Thor asked.
"Probably not," Clint admitted.
"We don't take Tony seriously, so good call," Rhodey said, chuckling at Tony's indignant sputtering.
Thor then asked if he'd put his crown in the Eternal Flame and grow as big as a house. Surtur corrected him with 'mountain.' Thor asked if he meant the Eternal Flame locked away by Odin on Asgard. Surtur said Odin was not on Asgard and Thor's absence had left it defenseless.
"What?!" Thor asked wildly, shocked.
"You're dad's not on Asgard?" Scott asked bewildered.
"It would seem not," Thor said his mind racing as he thought of where his father might be.
Thor asked where the crown was and Surtur pointed it was on his head. Thor said he thought it was a big eyebrow and Surtur angrily said it was a crown.
Everyone laughed at this.
"To be fair, it does appear to be attached to his head," Vision acknowledged.
Thor said all he needed to stop Ragnarok was to rip the crown off Surtur's head. Surtur got up with his Twilight Sword and said Ragnarok had already begun. Thor couldn't stop it. He was Asgard's doom and so was Thor. All will suffer and burn.
"We shall see about that," Thor almost growled.
"That's intense. To be honest, seeing you grow really big and set fire to a planet would be quite the spectacle." Thor said as he opened his hand, "But it looks like I'm gonna have to choose option B, where I bust out of these chains, knock that tiara off your head, and stash it away in Asgard's vault." Surtur asked, "You cannot stop Ragnarok. Why fight it?" Thor said, "Because that's what heroes do." But nothing happened as Thor said, "Wait, I'm sorry. I didn't time that right." Thor paused. "And now!" Mjolnir burst through a wall and Thor grabbed it before breaking free, facing Surtur.
"And now he's in trouble," Wanda said as Thor smirked.
"Indeed little witch," Thor agreed.
Surtur said he had made a grave mistake and Thor said he made those all the time but things worked out pretty well.
"It's the hero gig," Tony said and his teammates nodded in agreement.
He saw a dragon in the shadows.
"Is that a dragon?" Peter asked excitedly.
"It appears so. Haven't seen one of those in a while," Thor said wistfully.
"Wait, there are dragons in space?" Sam asked shocked and Thor nodded.
"Oh yes. The nine realms are filled with strange things beyond your imagination," Thor said to their surprise.
Fire Demons attacked Thor as he smashed them away and they covered him but he pushed them off before smashing more with a twirling Mjolnir and then threw it. It hit all Fire Demons in a circle as Thor fought and beat some before calling it back. It killed more Fire Demons as it returned to Thor's hand and he destroyed another.
"You've been holding out on us Point Break," Tony said as the Avengers watched with jaws dropped at Thor's power.
"If I had used all my power, I risked hurting innocents. I had to hold back," Thor said simply and they nodded in understanding.1
The dragon roared, trying to break its chain. Thor leapt into the air with a roar as lightning emanated from Mjolnir. He hit the ground with it, causing a shockwave that killed the Fire Demons and staggered Surtur back. Surtur fired a fire blast from his Twilight Sword which Thor blocked by twirling Mjolnir. He then leapt into the air and hit Surtur, staggering him back. He hit him with Mjolnir throws before hitting his crown, staggering him back. He hit him with more Mjolnir throws before dodging his Twilight Sword by leaping onto a rock. He then leapt at him and hit his crown. It fell down and all his flames were sucked into it.
"That was awesome!" Peter cheered as they all looked in awe.
"Yeah man, that was badass," Scott said and Thor shrugged.
Thor chained up the crown to him and called out to Heimdall, saying he knew it had been a while but he could use a fast exit. He raised Mjolnir but nothing happened, confusing him.
"I know I'm not an expert on the…Bifrost? But isn't something supposed to be happening?" Clint asked as Thor was stumped.
At Asgard, a new gatekeeper called Skurge was talking to two ladies, saying Heimdall was an idiot.
"Who's that?" Steve asked as Thor narrowed his eyes.
"Not Heimdall," Vision noted.
"He looks vaguely familiar, but from where I don't recall," Thor muttered.
Skurge said the job should have made him rich and wasn't easy but offered benefits, showing them his stuff, which included a scooter. Skurge then showed them a pair of M-16 Rifles which he called Des and Troy because they destroyed when they came together.
"How original," Rhodey said dryly.
"Give the man a prize. He's clearly a genius," Clint said sarcastically.
Thor beat some Fire Demons as the dragon freed itself. Thor raised Mjolnir and flew into the sky, crashing through the ground. He put out his slightly sparkling cape and raised Mjolnir again but nothing happened, annoying him. The ground shook and the dragon crashed. It tried to bite Thor but he stopped it with a hand before putting Mjolnir its mouth, making it fall down.
"Smart," Natasha noted and Thor simply nodded at the praise.
The ladies heard Thor's voice through the mechanism as Skurge played with a shake weight. They informed him and he brandished Hofund, saying the girls were in for a treat. He inserted and twisted it. In Muspelheim, Thor summoned Mjolnir and flew off at Mach 1 as the dragon flew after him. Just before it could catch up, the Bifrost took him up while the symbol was formed on the ground.
"Still no regard for lawns," Tony joked and Steve smiled slightly.
Thor arrived in Asgard as the dragon's head fell too, splattering green blood on Skurge and the ladies. Its tongue fell out and eyes rolled back. The ladies screamed and ran off in terror.
"Gross," Natasha said as they all stared at the scene in disgust.
Skurge sarcastically thanked Thor for scaring his company away and drenching his workplace with blood as Thor didn't recognize him. Skurge introduced himself and said they had fought together on Vanaheim, which Thor remembered and asked where Heimdall was. Skurge said he was a traitor and Odin had charged him with negligence but he had fled before the trial. It was impossible to find a guy who could see everything.
"What?" Thor asked shocked. "Father would never do such a thing!"
"Well, according to Surtur, he wasn't on Asgard," Scott pointed out, stumping Thor.
Skruge said he was supposed to announce Thor's arrival but he flew off by twirling Mjolnir. He arrived and was shocked by the sight in front of him. It was a giant statue of Loki.
"You have a statue of Loki?" Clint asked angrily, remembering everything Loki had done to him.
"Oh god!" Thor exclaimed as it all fell into place. "I am an idiot!"
"What is it?" Steve asked but Thor just sighed.
"Just watch," Thor said wearily.
Thor saw a play was going on. There were actors playing Thor and Loki. Loki was dying after being stabbed by Kurse. Thor asked Sif to get help and she ran off as Loki apologized for everything he had had done while Odin watched from where he was sitting, eating grapes.
"What. The. Hell?" Natasha said as they all stared at the screen, torn between laughing and being horrified.
Loki apologized for turning Thor into a frog as Thor said it was a wonderful joke while Odin muttered it was hilarious.
"He turned you into a frog?" Tony asked gleefully and Thor grimaced.
"I don't want to talk about it," Thor said uncomfortably as his friends snickered.
Loki asked Thor to tell his story, build a statue of him with his horned helmet. Thor said he would tell father what Loki had done. Odin muttered, "I didn't do it for him." Loki said, "I didn't do it for him." He then died as the choir sang a sad but beautiful tune while some women cried.
"They're actually crying at this abomination?" Clint said, almost laughing.
"Clearly it's so bad it made them sad," Tony joked.
"I've seen some comedy since waking up from the ice, but this was just…" Steve trailed off.
"Over the top? Scott supplied and Steve nodded.
"Yeah," Steve agreed.
The actor playing Odin narrated Loki had brought peace to the Realms. A child playing young Loki arrived as the actor said he'd never thought Loki would be Asgard's savior when he was merely a baby icicle who had melted the old fool's heart. The play ended and all clapped.
"I have failed Asgard," Thor said embarrassed. "I must correct this abomination at once."
"Please do. No one should have to witness this," T'Challa said grimly.
Thor then greeted Odin who muttered 'Oh shit' before greeting him like he normally would. The play was called 'The Tragedy of Loki of Asgard' as the people wanted to commemorate Loki. Thor said he liked the statue as it looked a lot better than Loki when he was alive. Odin made a face.
"Oh my god, is that…" Clint trailed off and Thor nodded as it hit them, at least those who had met Loki.
"It is," Thor confirmed.
Thor showed him the crown and told a guard to lock it away in the vault so it didn't destroy the planet. Odin got up and nervously asked if Thor would go back to Midgard but he said no. Thor talked about his dream of Asgard's destruction while throwing Mjolnir up and catching it on return. Odin said it was a silly dream due to overactive imagination. Thor said he had investigated and found the Nine Realms in chaos, enemies assembling and plotting their demise while he was sitting in his bathrobe eating grapes.
"Seriously, could he make it any more obvious?" Natasha said amused as everyone except the original Avengers looked confused.
"Um, care to fill us in?" Rhodey asked as the five of them exchanged a glance.
"No, I don't think we will," Steve said as they fought the urge to snicker.
"You're gonna love this part," Clint promised with a smirk.
Odin said he was respecting neighbors' freedom while Thor said it was freedom of massacre as he threw Mjolnir passed Odin before it returned to him, startling the Asgardians. Odin said he had been busy with board meeting and Security Council meetings.
"Is that really a thing on Asgard?" Scott wondered.
"No," Thor said.
Thor asked if Odin was really going to make him do it and Odin played dumb. Thor then threw Mjolnir and walked behind Odin, telling him nothing would stop it as it returned to him, not even his face as he put his hand behind Odin's head.
"Okay, what is going on?" Sam asked as the original Avengers all laughed.
"Just sit back and enjoy the show," Tony said gleefully.
Odin said he'd gone crazy and would be executed. "Then I'll see you on the other side, brother." Thor said as Mjolnir straightened while returning and Odin moved out of the way, transforming back into Loki and confessing he yielded while the people screamed in horror.
"Is that Loki?" Scott exclaimed shocked as Thor nodded.
"Yes. I thought he died a few years ago. Obviously, I was tricked," Thor said, an undertone of anger clear in his voice.
Skurge then arrived to announce Thor's arrival and Loki scolded him, saying he had one job. Thor asked where Odin was and he said how Thor couldn't stay away. Asgard was prospering without him but he had ruined everything.
"Yeah, too bad the rest of the nine realms weren't so lucky," Clint said dryly, still holding a grudge against Loki.
Thor asked where Odin was again. Loki said Thor finally had the independence he wanted and Thor angrily pinned him to his seat with Mjolnir while people screamed. Loki said he knew exactly where Odin was and they were sent to Earth with the Bifrost.
The old-age care home where Loki had left Odin was demolished now. Thor and Loki stood in regular clothes as the latter said he had left Odin right here and Thor sarcastically asked if he meant on the sidewalk or where the building was being demolished.
"Unbelievable," Thor said as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "What am I going to do with him?"
"Family's tough," Scott said simply as Thor sighed.
"Not like mine," Thor said tiredly.
Thor sarcastically said his plan was great as Loki said he couldn't see the future and wasn't a witch. Thor asked why he dressed like one and said he couldn't believe Loki was alive. "I mourned you, I cried for you," Thor said. "I'm honored," Loki said sarcastically.
"Oh I live to honor you," Thor said sarcastically.
Two girls arrived and asked Thor for a picture. He agreed, asking Loki to figure it out as the girls took a selfie and apologized for Jane dumping him. Thor told Loki she hadn't dumped him, he had dumped her, and it was a mutual dumping.
Thor sighed wearily. His search for the stones had caused a great strain on his relationship with Jane and during their last meeting, she had told him not to come back.
"Sorry Thor," Tony said sympathetically and Thor shrugged.
"I always knew that my relationship with Jane was not built to last. Better it happens now than years from now, when Jane has wasted her life with me. It was selfish of me to get involved with her, I see that now," Thor said with a sigh.
Suddenly, a sparkling circle appeared underneath Loki. Thor was shocked as Loki said he wasn't doing this and fell into it.
"Hey, doesn't that look like…" Scott trailed off.
"The circle that brought us here, yes," Vision nodded.
There was a note there which Thor tapped with his umbrella, wondering if it was Loki.
"Really, you thought he was the note?" Sam asked amused and Thor flushed as they all laughed at him.
"He's transformed into many things over the years," Thor said defensively.
Thor picked up the note and it said, '177A Bleecker Street.' He walked to the address and knocked but was suddenly inside. "Thor Odinson." He turned around to see a man in a cape flying towards him, revealing himself to be Stephen Strange, "God of Thunder." Thor raised the umbrella but Strange told him to put it down.
"So he's the one who brought us here," Tony muttered.
"Yes, and it seems this is how I met the wizard," Thor mused.
"Looks like it," Wanda muttered.
They were teleported further into the Sanctum as Thor put the umbrella in a coat stand and picked up an artefact, noting Earth had Wizards now before accidentally breaking the artefact. Strange said the term was 'Master of the Mystic Arts.' Thor asked who he was and he introduced himself as Doctor Stephen Strange, asking him to take a seat and then teleported them to have seats.
"Okay, now he's just showing off," Rhodey said.
"Tea?" Strange asked Thor. "I don't drink tea," Thor said as he held up the cup he had. "What do you drink?" Strange asked. "Not tea," Thor said and beer appeared.
"So he can make beer appear out of thin air? We gotta invite him to the next party," Tony said gleefully.
"Let's focus on stopping Thanos first Tony," Steve said. "Then we can talk about parties."
"So, I keep a watchlist of individuals and beings from other realms that may be a threat to this world," Strange said, "Your adopted brother, Loki, is one of those beings." Thor drank and saw his beer had refilled. "A worthy inclusion," Thor noted. "Yeah." Strange said, "So, why bring him here to New York?" Thor said, "That's a long story. A family drama, that kind of thing, but... we're looking for my father." "Oh, okay. So, if you've found Odin, you all will return to Asgard, promptly?" Strange asked. "Oh, yes. Promptly," Thor said. "Alright," Strange got up. "Let me help you."
"Well, that was easy," Wanda noted.
"And somewhat unnecessary," Thor said. "He could've just called."
Thor asked why Strange had not called him if he knew and Strange said Odin was adamant not to be disturbed plus Thor didn't have a cell phone. Thor said Strange could have sent the electronic letter called e-mail and Strange asked if he had a computer. Thor said he didn't, asking the reason.
"Maybe when we need help? Or you do?" Scott pointed out and Thor shrugged, not seeing the issue.
Thor asked if he could take him home and Strange said he was in Norway as they were teleported away and some beer dropped. Strange read a book and said no modifications were required for Asgardians before teleporting them again. Thor accidentally knocked some books off a shelf and put his beer down, asking him to stop that. Strange asked for a strand of hair. Thor said his hair was not to be meddled with but Strange appeared behind him and took a strand, teleporting them away again as Thor rolled down the stairs.
"Do not touch my hair," Thor grumbled.
Strange used the strand to open a portal and told Thor Odin was waiting. He told him not to forget his umbrella. Thor raised his hand and smashing sounds were heard as he apologized. The umbrella stopped in his hand as Thor said he'd need his brother back and Strange opened another portal above, making Loki fall down. "I have been falling….for 30 minutes!" Loki said indignantly.
Everyone, who had been struggling to contain their laughter, lost it at this. They all laughed for several moments before gaining control of themselves.
"I wish I had that recorded!" Clint said as he wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes.
"Apparently we do," Rhodey said with a chuckle.
Strange told Thor to handle him as Loki angrily brandished his daggers, calling Strange a second-rate magician as he charged but Strange pushed the portal on them, making Loki fall down as Thor looked around at the grassy area.
"Loki, never mess with a wizard," Thor chuckled.
The two saw Odin standing with his back to them. They walked to him as Thor called out to him. Odin looked at the sea and said this place was beautiful before recognizing them. Thor said they'd come to take him home. "Home, yes." Odin said, "Your mother, she calls me." Thor asked Loki to lift his spell but Loki shook his head, confused as well.
"Father," Thor sad, confused and concerned as the mood plummeted, everyone sensing that something big was about to happen.
Odin laughed, saying it had taken him some time to break Loki's spell, telling Loki Frigga would have been proud. Odin told them to sit with him, saying he didn't have much time. The three of them sat on a rock and Thor said they'd failed him but would make it right. "I failed you," Odin insisted. "It is upon us. Ragnarok." Thor said he'd stopped Ragnarok but Odin said it had already begun and she was coming.
"Who's she?" Wanda asked as they looked at Thor, who only shook his head.
"I don't know," Thor said, a pit of dread forming in his stomach.
His life was all that had held her back but his time had come and she couldn't be kept back any longer. Thor asked who Odin was referring to and he said, "Goddess of Death. Hela. My firstborn. Your sister." Thor and Loki were both shocked.
"W-what?" Thor said, having gone deathly pale.
Everyone else was silent, all of them exchanging glances. This was private, something for Thor to deal with. But it also appeared to be important, otherwise they wouldn't be shown this.
"It appears that your father kept secrets as well," T'Challa said gently.
Thor did not respond, too stunned for words.
Odin said her violent appetites had grown beyond his control so he had imprisoned her. She drew her strength from Asgard and when she reached there, her powers would be limitless. Thor said they could face and stop her together but Odin said they couldn't as he was on a different path now and they must face this alone.
"Father?" Thor said, a heartbreaking realization setting in.
"I love you, my sons." Odin said as Loki looked at him. "Look at that." Odin said, pointing at the sky, "Remember this place." He then faded into yellow energy which flowed away as Thor and Loki stood up, watching with devastated expressions.
"No. Father no," Thor said brokenly.
Thor put his head in his hands and began to sob. The other Avengers, T'Challa, and Peter exchanged a glance. This was different than T'Chaka had been killed, they knew. T'Chaka was something that could be prevented, something that could be changed. Odin had not been murdered; he had died of old age. Even if Thor brought him back to Asgard when they returned, it still meant Odin would only have a couple years left. This was not something that could be changed.
"Do not weep because he is gone," T'Challa said gently, placing his hand on Thor's shoulder. "Treasure the time you had with him. And make the most of the time you have left when we return."
After a moment, Thor gained control of himself, nodding as he lifted his head. It was not easy, but he would carry on in these recordings. He would have to make sure his father did not die in vain.
1: Thor, to be blunt, was nerfed prior to Ragnarok. Thor's power could have bene used much more effectively up to this point. It seems like the writers just didn't know how to use Thor prior to Ragnarok.