Green Hal37: I'm not very familiar with Thor from the comics, which allows me to view his films with an open mind. And gotta be honest, I prefer Thor in Ragnarok to how he was before. Ragnarok gave Thor an actual personality and made him something other a foil to Loki and the other Avengers. I also found Thor to be very badass in Ragnarok. I'm gonn have to disagree with you. Aside from Hulk being naked, all those scenes seem like scenes that would make the Avengers laugh.
Guest 1: Yep, it's going to get worse before it gets better.
Guest 2: *Chuckles* Yep, once the hair comes off, it will be personal.
Guest 3: I'm not gonna d that with Tony because it seems like something he'd have done pre Pepper, but not now. I might do some of the other stuff later though.
Clouds gathered in the sky as lightning cracked due to Thor's emotions. Lightning cracked in Thor's hands too.
"And Point Break's pissed," Tony muttered.
Loki called out to him as Thor angrily looked at him, "This was your doing!" Before they could fight, a green portal started opening up. Loki removed the illusion and was back in his Asgardian robes as lightning cracked and Thor was back in his Asgardian armor with Mjolnir. Out of the portal walked a woman in black robes with long hair and a pale face.
"Hela I presume," Vision muttered.
"So he's gone," She said. "That's a shame. I'd have liked to see that. "You must be Hela," Thor said. Thor introduced himself and Hela commented he didn't look like Odin. Loki said they could come to an arrangement as Hela said he sounded like Odin. "Kneel." She then ordered. "Beg your pardon?" Loki asked.
"I guess now he knows how it feels," Clint said bitterly.
"Kneel. Before your Queen." Hela said, summoning her Necrosword. "I don't think so." Thor said and threw Mjolnir but to his horror, she caught it.
"She's worthy?" Clint said in disbelief as they all stared in shock.
"No, she can't be. It's not possible," Thor said stunned, remembering how he had been able to lift Mjolnir after his father had enchanted it. "It's can't be."
He tried to summon it back but she didn't let go as he said, "It's not possible." Hela smirked, "Darling, you have no idea what's possible." With that, she shattered Mjolnir in her grasp as there was an explosion of lightning which sent Thor and Loki flying back.
"Son of a bitch," Tony said stunned.
"She destroyed it," Peter whispered in horrified awe.
"It's not possible," Thor repeated his mind whirling. "My hammer is made of the strongest metal in the universe. It is unbreakable!"
"Apparently not," Clint muttered.
Hela then summoned a horned helmet and two Necroswords as Loki shouted, "Bring us back!" Thor protested but the Bifrost took them up.
"He probably just saved your life," Natasha pointed out and Thor did not respond, knowing she was right.
Thor called out to Loki and he looked down to see Hela flying up. He threw his dagger but she threw it back and he crashed out into the space.
"Loki!" Thor cried out, worried for his brother.
"Don't worry about Reindeer Games. He's a cockroach, he'll outlive us all," Tony joked in an attempt to reassure Thor.
Thor tried to fight her off but she grabbed his neck. She summoned her sword but Thor kicked her back, falling into space too.
"She beat you both back like you were nothing," Scott said lowly as they stared, in awe and horror at Hela's power.
Volstagg took Hofund out of the device on Asgard as Hela arrived while he, Fandrall and Skurge, who was sweeping the floor, looked in shock.
"She's on Asgard," Thor said horrified.
"And according to Odin, she'll become even more powerful now," Steve noted and Thor paled.
Hela's power seemed to increase as she arrived in Asgard as Volstagg asked who she was and what she had done with Thor. She threw a small Necrosword at him, making him fall down. Fandrall charged her but was taken down the same way. "I'm Hela." She said and killed them by throwing one more Necrosword for each.
"No!" Thor cried out in horror and grief.
T'Challa placed a hand on Thor's shoulder as everyone else looked at him in sympathy. While they didn't know these two Asgardians, it was clear Thor did and was close to them.
"I am sorry," T'Challa said gently. "But this can still be changed. Our future is not yet set in stone."
After a moment, Thor nodded. Hela was not free yet. And when she was free, he would make sure to protect his friends from her wrath.
Skurge kneeled and said he was a janitor as Hela said, "You look like a smart boy with good survival instincts. How would you like a job?" She walked past him and looked at Asgard with a smile while Skurge stood next to her with Hofund stuck behind them.
"She's going to try and conquer the whole universe," Rhodey realized with horror.
"Of course she is, it's what people like her do," Natasha said grimly as she thought of Loki, and Killmonger.
"Those who have been corrupted by power will always want more than they deserve," Steve noted.
In a world beyond the Nine Realms, Thor crashed through a portal. The place was full of heaps of trash.
"That is a lot of trash," Scott said randomly.
"You don't say," Clint said sarcastically.
Thor threw debris off of him and looked around at the portal and the falling objects. He looked up to see something about to fall on him and quickly moved out of the way.
"Where am I?" Thor wondered but no one had an answer.
Thor looked around and saw a huge city in the distance. Then Thor saw some kind of ship landing in front of him and out walked strange looking aliens, asking if he was a fighter or food.
"What kind of place is this?!" Scott exclaimed horrified.
"Clearly a place to be avoided at all costs," Thor said grimly.
Thor said he was just passing by and they said he was food. Thor tried to summon Mjolnir but then remembered it was gone.
Thor grimaced, feeling the loss of his weapon even though it hadn't happened yet. He had had Mjolnir for so long; the weapon was almost an extension of himself. Losing it was almost like losing a limb.
Thor then raised his hands and as one Sakaarian came close, he threw him off. Another tore off half of his cape but was punched down along with another. Then the lead Sakaarian fired a net and it threw Thor down, electrocuting him as the others started hitting him.
"You're the god of thunder, how can you be electrocuted?" Sam asked incredulously.
"Being thrown through the Bifrost must have weakened me," Thor mused.
Then another ship flew down and they looked up in shock. It landed and a pathway was formed. Out walked a dark-skinned woman with markings on her face, drinking a beer. "He's mine." She said.
"Oh great, more trouble," Natasha said as Thor's eyes widened.
'She's Asgardian!" he exclaimed and they turned to him. "Those markings on her face, they are of Asgardian culture!"
"If she's Asgardian, how did she end up…wherever that is?" Wanda inquired.
"I do not know," Thor admitted.
She walked towards them but due to her drunken state; fell down into trash so the Sakaarians started hitting Thor again.
"Is this as embarrassing as it looks?" Thor asked with a blush.
"Oh much worse Point Break," Tony said with a laugh and Thor groaned.
She got back up, saying Thor was his so they'd have to go through her to get him. One Sakaarian pointed out they already had him and she said she's go through them. The Sakaarians decided she was food to as she then struggled to activate her gauntlets by tapping her fists together. The Sakaarians moved closer but she managed to do it. Her ship's guns were activated and she used them to slaughter all the Sakaarians.
"Holy crap!" Peter exclaimed as they all stared at the screen, torn between being impressed with her tech and horrified at her brutality.
"Wow," was all Wanda could manage.
"Such brutality," Vision muttered. "This must be a dangerous world."
Now only one was left and he rushed her but she ducked to avoid a blow before punching him and throwing him off. Thor ripped out the net and thanked her but she threw a disk that attached to the side of his neck and activated it, sending a toxin through Thor's body as he was knocked out.
"I did not see that coming," Scott said after a moment.
"This is going to get worse before it gets better, isn't it?" Thor deadpanned.
"Most likely," Steve agreed and Thor groaned.
She dragged Thor by the cape to her ship and later, he woke up as she said to someone on Comms that she had something special. Thor banged the glass between them, introducing himself as Thor, Son of Odin, saying he needed to get back to Asgard. She sarcastically apologized and pressed the button, spreading the toxin through him again as he was knocked out.
"But you're the prince! Shouldn't she be trying to help you now that she knows who you?" Peter asked confused as Thor narrowed his eyes.
"Normally, that would be the case, Boy of Spiders. But it seems that this one is not on my side," Thor noted.
"Whatever that is, it must be powerful to knock you out," Steve noted.
"Most likely some form of toxin," Thor agreed.
On Asgard, Hela stood, without her helmet, addressing the Asgardians.
"It's come to my attention that you don't know who I am. I am Hela, Odin's firstborn, the commander of the Legions of Asgard, the rightful heir to the throne, and the Goddess of Death," The army pointed their weapons at her. "My father is dead. As are the princes. You're welcome," Hogun glared at her. "We were once the seat of absolute power in the Cosmos. Our supremacy was unchallenged. Yet Odin stopped at Nine Realms. Our destiny is to rule over all others. And I am here to restore that power. Kneel before me and rise into the ranks of my great conquest."
"Reminds me of the speech Loki gave in Germany," Natasha noted.
"Well, they do look like they could be father and daughter instead of siblings," Tony joked.1
"Asgard will never submit to her," Thor said as he tensed, knowing what was about to happen.
Hogun said whoever she was, she must stand down or they'd show no mercy. Hela was annoyed they hadn't listened to a word she had said and was told this was her last warning. Hela angrily put her helmet back on; sadly saying she'd thought they'd be happy to see her as Hogun's mace protruded spikes.
"No," Thor whispered, wanting to look away but unable to.
Hela threw small Necroswords at Hogun who deflected with his mace and hit her but she was unaffected as she kicked him into a wall, smashing it down. The army attacked as Hela leapt into their midst with her Necroswords. They weren't even a match for her as she sliced them down with her Necroswords or threw the Necroswords at them, taking them down. She threw one at a warship and it was destroyed too. They attacked but she was unaffected by all of their blows, taking them down with swift Necrosword throws. The warships fired at her but she was unaffected as threw her Necroswords, destroying them all. She continued slaughtering the army. One of them stabbed her from behind and the blade protruded from her abdomen but she was still unaffected and killed him with a Necrosword throw. Soon, the entire army was slaughtered as Skurge looked around in horror.
Throughout the scene, everyone had watched, horrified at both Hela's power and the needless slaughter of good men and women. Thor's entire body trembled in grief and rage as he saw his people mercilessly killed. Rage was bubbling under the surface and it was only a matter of time until it blew.
Hela looked around, saying she had missed this but it was still sad as they were good soldiers dying for nothing. Hogun then staggered back up and she asked if he had a change of heart. Hogun told her to crawl back to whatever cave she had come from, calling her 'demoness.' She threw a large Necrosword at him and it killed him as Skurge looked away in horror.
That did it. Thor's eyes glowed and he roared, jumping to his feet. Everyone jumped as a flash of lightning came through the roof, striking the television set. Wanda quickly used her powers to shield everyone from the following blast.
When it was over, the television was completely destroyed, a scorch mark around it. The only sound in the room was Thor's heavy breathing as the door opened and Strange walked in.
"Feel any better?" Strange asked calmly.
"No," Thor said gruffly.
Strange nodded before walking over to the television set. He waved his hand, a green circle appearing. To everyone's shock, time seemed to move backwards. The scorch mark faded as the pieces of the television melded back together, the screen repaired, along with the rest of it, as it was before the lightning struck it.
"Awesome," Peter said in awe.
"I understand this is upsetting for you, but please, try not to break it again," Strange said before he walked out of the room.
"I am sorry my friends," Thor said after taking a moment to calm himself. "I allowed my emotions to get the better of me. It will not happen again."
"It's okay Thor. I can't say I would have reacted any differently," Clint assured him, knowing he would have lost it if he'd seen his family murdered the way Thor had seen his people slaughtered.
"It's been a long day; we've all seen a lot of things that have upset us. We can pick this up tomorrow if you want Thor," Steve offered but Thor shook his head.
"No. we must continue. I must know what happens next," Thor said, steely determination filling his voice.
Thor retook his seat and, after eying him to make sure he was calm now, Tony resumed the recording.
"Let's go see my palace." Hela then said as the two walked towards it.
Thor growled at this but otherwise did not react. Remembering what had happened lost time he had lost his temper, he fought to control his emotions as his friends eyed him wearily.
Someone climbed up to the Observatory from the side of the mountain and stole Hofund.
"Who's that?" Scott asked curiously.
"I have an idea," Thor said, a smirk crossing his face but he offered nothing else.
Thor woke up, restrained to a moving chair as a voice said he was found and was at home from where there was no going back.
"Sounds like a cult," Tony said.
"From what we've seen, I'm gonna have to agree," Rhodey agreed.
A presentation of the Cosmos was given as the voice said this was Sakaar on the edge of known and unknown and was the collection point of lost and unloved things like he was. He was significant here and loved. The voice said no one loved him more than the Grandmaster as his projection was shown.
"Really sounds like a cult," Clint agreed.
He was the original, the first lost and found and creator of Sakaar as well as Father of Contest of Champions. A projection of the Contest was shown as well as the voice said he was now property of Grandmaster and would meet him in 5 seconds while he passed through a planet's projection. He was told to prepare himself as the presentation sped up to an absurd degree. He was told to prepare himself again as he'd meet the Grandmaster. Unable to cope with his situation and the presentation, Thor screamed awkwardly like a girl and was suddenly in a room as the presentation disappeared.
Tony, Natasha, Clint, Peter, Rhodey, Scott, and Sam burst out laughing as Steve and Wanda chuckled. Even Vision struggled to keep a straight face as Thor blushed.
"That voice!" Clint laughed.
"Sounded like a little girl right?!" Tony said between laughs.
"This is not going away anytime soon, is it?" Thor deadpanned.
"Nope," was said in sync and he groaned.
Thor looked around and in front of him was the Grandmaster. There were soldiers behind him and in front sat Grandmaster with the drunk woman on his left and another woman on his right. He found Thor wonderful as the woman confirmed it was a 'he.'
"Of course I'm a he!" Thor exclaimed offended.
Grandmaster said he loved when the woman, who was called Scraper 142, came to visit, saying she was something that started with a 'B.'
"So, somehow, Sakaar has the exact same language as us?" Rhodey said confused.
"Weird, I know," Thor agreed.2
The other woman, Topaz, called her trash and Grandmaster said that didn't start with a 'B' so she said booze hag but Grandmaster said he meant best because that's what she was as she had brought him his beloved champion, which Topaz sulkily said he brought that up every time she showed up. He asked what she had brought today and she said it was a contender.
"So wait, this is an alien traffic ring?" Scott said horrified as they all stared at the screen, disgusted.
"When I get out of here, the first thing I'm going to do is head over there and take him down," Thor growled.
"We'll help," Steve offered and Thor nodded in thanks.
Grandmaster wanted a closer look and Topaz pushed his chair to get one as Thor said he wasn't for sale and broke his restraints but 142 pressed the button and toxin spread through his body again. Grandmaster said he was a fighter as 142 asked for 1 million units. Topaz said she was dreaming but, at Grandmaster's insistence, reluctantly paid her. She walked off as Thor said she'd pay for this but she corrected she had been paid for this.
Everyone glared at the screen, disgust for this woman spreading through them.
Grandmaster pressed a button and the restraints restrained Thor again as Grandmaster asked who he was. Thor broke his restraints again and announced he was the God of Thunder as little lightning crackled in his hands but Grandmaster laughed, saying he hadn't seen thunder but sparkles.
Thor was shocked at this. Whatever toxin was in those disks, it must be strong to affect an Asgardian, Thor mused.
Topaz told Grandmaster they'd found his cousin as he walked to his room and Thor's chair was moved there too and there another man was restrained to another chair. Thor greeted him as he begged Grandmaster for forgiveness. Grandmaster said he was pardoned. He thanked him but Grandmaster pointed a stick at him and said he had been pardoned of his life as it melted Grandmaster's cousin into slime while Thor looked in horror and disgust.
"Oh my god!" Thor exclaimed horrified.
"He killed his own cousin," Steve said disgusted.
"Point Break, kick his ass when we get back home," Tony said and Thor narrowed his eyes.
"It will be my pleasure Stark," Thor said grimly.
Grandmaster joked he was stepping on it and asked Topaz what it smelt like, to which she said burnt toast.
"He's a freaking sociopath," Scott said disgusted.
Grandmaster then sarcastically apologized for his bad manners and introduced himself before taking Thor to another room and putting on music, said he presided over the Contest of Champions. People came from far and wide to unwillingly participate in it and Thor was part of the new cast. Thor said he didn't give a shit and needed to go back to Asgard. Grandmaster mispronounced it as 'Ass-Guard' and increased the music's volume when Thor noticed Loki there talking to some other people.
"Loki!" Thor said, shocked but happy to see his brother was alive.
"Told you, he's a cockroach. Just when you think he's gone, he comes back with a vengeance," Tony joked.
Thor was shocked and beckoned Loki to him. Loki was shocked too as he played cool before making his way over and shushing Thor. Thor asked where Loki's chair was and he said he didn't have one. Thor asked him to get him out but Loki said he couldn't as he had made friends with Grandmaster and gained his favor. The Bifrost had brought him here, weeks ago, shocking Thor who had just arrived.
"How is that possible?" Tony asked surprised.
"Perhaps it has something to do with being thrown out of the Bifrost. To my knowledge, no one has ever been thrown out and survived to tell about it," Thor mused.
Grandmaster asked what they were whispering about, startling them both, and said time worked differently in Sakaar. He said on any other world, he'd be about a million years old, and then said, "But here on Sakaar….." He blinked and smiled like a little child who was fancying something, confusing both Thor and Loki.
"He's insane," Natasha deadpanned.
"What was your first clue Nat?" Clint said sarcastically.
Thor asked Loki to tell Grandmaster of their relationship and he said he didn't know Thor.
"I'm his brother!" Thor said angrily.
Thor said they were brothers and Loki added 'adopted.' Grandmaster asked if Thor was any kind of fighter and he said once the Obedience Disk was out of his neck, he'd show him. Grandmaster mocked how Thor was threatening him and said if he wanted to get back to the 'Ass place', he'd have to defeat his champion. "Fine. Then point me in the direction of whoever's ass I have to kick!" Thor said and Grandmaster was satisfied.
"Something tells me it won't be that easy Thor," Steve said wearily.
"Nothing ever is, unfortunately," Thor said with a sigh.
Thor's chair was moved away and he was thrown into a cell as the door closed. He banged at the door as another prisoner who was made of rocks told him to take it easy. Thor looked at him as he said he was a pile of rocks waving at him and introduced himself as Korg. He said he was the leader here and was made of rocks but there was no need to be intimidated. He didn't need to be afraid as long as he wasn't made of scissors. The alien next to him who had knives for hands formed scissors with them for a second.
"A Kronan," Thor said surprised.
"A what?" Clint asked.
"Kronan, they're a species of rock like creatures. Usually fairly violent, but this one seems oddly friendly," Thor noted.
Korg said this was a rock-paper-scissors joke for him and introduced his friend Miek who had knives for hands. Thor recognized Korg as a Kronan and asked how he had ended up here. Korg said he had tried to start a revolution but hadn't printed enough pamphlets. Nobody had turned up except his mum and her boyfriend whom he hated so he was forced here as punishment to be a gladiator. This was a promotional disaster.
"I like this guy," Tony laughed.
"I think he'll fit in great if we ever meet," Rhodey said with a laugh.
Korg said he was organizing another revolution and asked a running Thor if he'd be interested. Thor managed to return to where he had started, to his own shock.
"What the hell?" Thor said shocked.
Korg said the whole place was a circle. Not a real circle but a freaky circle. Thor said this didn't make sense ad Korg said the only thing that made sense was that nothing made sense.
"That's the first thing about this planet that does make sense," Wanda said.
"Indeed little witch," Thor agreed with a sigh.
Thor asked if anyone else had fought the Grandmaster's champion and Korg said Doug had before calling out to him but no one answered and Korg remembered Doug was dead, saying all who faced the Grandmaster's champion perished.
"This champion must be very strong," T'Challa.
"Whoever he is, I will defeat them," Thor said confidently.
Thor asked about Korg, noting he was made of rocks but he reminded it was perishable rock who just did the smaller fights for warmup of the crowd. Korg asked if he was gonna face him. Thor said he was gonna win and get out as he walked off. Korg said that was what Doug used to say and called Thor 'new Doug.'
"Most definitely not like most Kronans," Thor said as they all laughed at Korg's antics.
Back on Asgard, Hela and Skurge walked into the palace, having killed more soldiers. She wondered if no one remembered her or been taught their history. She then looked up at the murals which showed people worshipping the Asgardians and offering them goblets and garden parties. Odin and Laufey were also in one mural, having signed a peace treaty. Hela was furious saying Odin was proud to have it but ashamed of how he had got it. She then threw Necroswords into the wall and it shattered as Skurge backed to avoid getting hit by debris. Another, older mural was revealed. Which had Odin standing in between blood as he and Hela led their people to war. Hela sat on a giant wolf and wielded Mjolnir.
Thor stared, shocked. His entire life, he had looked up to his father, seeing him as this great man. 'A wise king never seeks out war', he'd told him often.
Now it all just felt like a bunch of lies.
"Thor, you okay?" Steve as they looked at him in concern.
"My entire life, my father told me that I must never seek out war. He banished me for reigniting war with the Frost Giants. And this…" Thor trailed off.
"It seems both our fathers were not the men we thought they were," T'Challa said gently.
"I don't know your father, but maybe he was trying to make sure you didn't repeat his mistakes," Steve told him.
"Perhaps," Thor said with a sigh.
Hela said they used to be unstoppable and she was Odin's weapon in the conquest of the Nine Realms. Then her ambition had outgrown his and he had banished and caged her like an animal.
It seemed that his father's solution to every problem was to either cast it out or cover it up, Thor thought bitterly as he thought of Odin keeping Loki's true parentage a secret.3
Before that, Asgard's warriors were honored and buried as heroes beneath the palace. The two then made their way to the vault. Skurge noted these items were Odin's treasures. Hela threw an Infinity Gauntlet away, calling the Stones in it fake.
In the lab, Fitz narrowed his eyes. It seems Thanos wasn't the first person to want to harness the power of the Infinity Stones.
She then called the Casket of Ancient Winters weak. She saw Surtur's crown and commented how it was smaller than she had thought. She then saw the Teserract and said it wasn't bad before noticing the Eternal Flame and put it in her hand, asking Skurge if he wanted to see what real power looked like. She summoned a bloodaxe and struck the ground thrice, shattering it before leaping inside as Skurge watched. Landing, she found the old warriors of Asgard, buried in their caskets, along with the corpse of her wolf Fenris.
"Her army," Steve realized.
"The army my father used to conquer," Thor said quietly.
Hela was saddened by what had been done to Fenris. "With the Eternal Flame, you are reborn." She said and smashed it on the ground as a green shockwave shot out. Skurge watched as the dead soldiers woke up in the form of skeletons and so did Fenris. "I've missed you. I've missed you all." Hela said.
"An undead army of one of the strongest species in the universe. Okay, we need to be prepared for her," Tony said as they all paled.
"Indeed we do Stark. Indeed we do," Thor said quietly.
1: Just a reference to Loki being Hela's father in the comics and other media.
2: Maybe I'm overthinking it but, not only does Sakaar speak English, but it also has the same language, an entire galaxy away? What are the odds of that? But maybe I'm just overthinking it.
3: Odin was a good king once he became benevolent, but he was a pretty horrible father. He made Hela what she was and then, when she would not conform to what he wanted, he cast her out and covered up her entire existence. He lied to Loki his entire life, made him feel inferior to Thor and made him feel that he could never measure up. Thor ate up the stories of Odin fighting with the Frost Giants and, rather than correcting that behavior when Thor was a child, he let it grow until it caused a situation that resulted in Thor's banishment.
There's a quote from Once Upon A Time that feels pretty accurate here.
"Evil isn't born, it's made."