The relationship Lauren thought she wanted wasn't going as planned. As much as she tried to be in this with Max and his fiance, she didn't think it would last long term. Normally, she would be okay with that. But Lauren was thirty years old now, she wanted more. She didn't want to be the third wheel in his established relationship. She wanted love and inclusion and openness, and was finding herself shut out with Max. Despite his talk about listening to his mantra 'what would Lauren do,' he didn't walk the walk. There were nights she tried to include herself in their plans, but Max and Greg went to places where she stood out, and not in a good way. In the past Lauren had been amenable to any situation she was placed in. As she wanted more from life lately, she felt for the first time that she was getting too old for this game.

Lauren wondered what she would be to Max once he was married. He identified as pansexual too, and told her he had no problems with having an open marriage, with her included. Lauren would not be his primary partner, and she agreed to those terms. She thought that was enough for her, but another complication was arising. It took the form of her roommate who was becoming an integral part of her life. She was developing feelings for Josh that she had been fighting, mostly due to girl code. More than anything, she always was a good friend to those in her inner circle. And Liza was in her inner circle.

Lauren was thriving at work and in her side projects. In her free time, she had restarted the Gemma Loves social media campaign and it was going well. She and Josh had been getting sponsors and making money and their brand was taking off. It helped boost her PR company and his studio. Clare, Gemma's mother, was not sure about it when they first launched. But once Clare saw that it could generate business for all of them, she decided to go with it. She was freelancing her programming talents and her brand was thriving too. New and established businesses turned to Clare for app development, and she was proud of her accomplishments. The three of them were a great team.

Lauren was known for having wild ideas and because of this, she butted heads with her two more traditional bosses. Her direct boss, Diana, had wanted a more classic, conventional PR department. Lauren tried to show her it was possible to appeal to both sides.

Then there was Liza, the company's newly appointed boss. She had taken over after proving herself quickly right before Charles left for his trip. Lauren thought to herself often that Liza being once romantically involved with Charles hadn't hurt her chances either. Even though they were friends, Lauren noticed her negative feelings arising about Liza's sudden position of power, and she didn't like having those thoughts. Lauren was sure it had to do with her feelings for Josh. Despite this, Lauren continued to champion Liza's work ideas, even though at times she found them boring and traditional.

One of Lauren's goals had been to get Liza to open up her eyes to the world of possibilities, for both the company and for herself personally. She had refused to date the men Lauren tried to set her up with. That led her to the thought that her mind was still on Josh, and that they would eventually be together again.

Sure enough, Lauren was right. One day Josh came back from work, with the news that Liza agreed to a date. She reminded herself that the Lauren Heller brand exuded strength and confidence, and she was not jealous of Liza. Lauren knew she had no claim to Josh. They had never been anything but roommates to each other, and she should be happy for both of them, she told herself.

Since Charles had left on a writing trip, and he and Liza had mysteriously split, office gossip was high. She and Josh were trying to see what was there, Liza told Lauren casually one day. Lauren didn't disapprove openly, as her attitude was to be accepting of all. Lauren felt that it wouldn't end well. Josh was obsessed with someone who didn't give him a second glance until it suited her, and only when her other option was gone. He deserved better.

Lauren reminded herself that she loved both of these people and she needed to stay unattached to the future. She practiced breathing and recited one of her mantras "nothing is permanent, embrace change." Perhaps this desire to be nonjudgmental was a reaction to her raising, as those in her childhood faith group had voiced their displeasure at her 'inappropriate' actions as an adolescent. Their concerns had made her more exploratory and curious than ever.

Lauren sat down with Josh one night after he told her that he didn't know what to do about Liza. This conversation was a repeat of many conversations from their past. He was becoming a broken record. How he thought Liza was his soulmate, rather, he knew she was. She just didn't see it, and he needed to convince her somehow.

Josh was feeling upset by a recent conversation they had. He knew there was no way Liza wanted any more kids. He thought they could get through anything, even this difference in opinion. "If she could just see, it isn't too late. I would take care of the kids during the day. We could still be together. We could even adopt if it's a pregnancy that she's against."

"The problem is that you're trying to make Liza be everything for you, to fit her in all these boxes that she just won't fit into. That's a lot of pressure," Lauren told him.

"I know. Like you've said, we never exactly had a stable relationship. I'm pretty sure she's going to end it." Josh seemed dejected, sullen.

"Well if she does, that's for the best. That's what the universe wants. Like I told you before, whoever is in your life, whether it's her or someone else, you'll make it through anything if it's meant to be," Lauren stated. She was tired of repeating her words. He refused to give up. This was becoming his sole purpose, getting Liza back, getting her to agree to his ideas of what their life should be like.

"Should I just tell her that I want more kids? What if that ends things?" he asked.

"Then it does, and she really isn't 'the one' whatever that means." Lauren rolled her eyes. For being a progressive guy, Josh was so hung up on this one person.

"I know you don't believe in 'the one.' Well, maybe you're right. I thought I had it all figured out, what was best for us, but maybe I don't," he said. "I still have to tell her my dreams."

Lauren smiled. Josh was starting to finally see there were other perspectives. She had been trying to tell him this for years, that people aren't destined for one partner and you can have many significant loves at different times in your life. She felt that since she met him, despite his saying he was open minded, he was just as repressed as the people he openly pitied and gossiped about with her.

"You wouldn't be you if you didn't have that passion for proving your point. And I'm not saying I'm right. I'm just saying you are boxing yourself into a relationship that will not make you completely happy. Unless Liza wants to be open to possibilities too. What I mean by that is have a kid with someone else. Take another partner. Tell her you don't want to be exclusive so you can weigh your options. It could work."

Josh thought about what she was saying. Maybe his biggest problem with relationships was just this. He thought he loved only Liza. Yet the thought of meeting a woman who could give him a child of their own would be great too. He had seen Liza in his drug induced dreams being that person, but she said she didn't want to be.

…..

The next day Josh met up with Liza for a conversation. He told her about some new playgroup ideas he and Clare had been working on for their brand. The next step was social media marketing. Something seemed different with Liza, and it was just as he feared. She asked him where his mind was, and if he wanted more children.

After stammering on his words for a while, Josh decided to tell her the truth. "If I'm being honest, I would like to have a few more children. I really love being a dad."

Liza sighed. "I know you do. We need to let each other go. I just don't feel the same way I did when things were new, when we first met. I hope you understand."

He hesitated before talking, "I do feel like I'm missing out on meeting someone who wants what I do. Unless you are thinking about adoption? Or we can have an open relationship." He realized now during this point of desperation probably wasn't the time to suggest Lauren's idea. It was a wild card, but Liza had changed a lot since they met. She had more experience with men. Maybe now she was ready to try something completely different; maybe they both were. He could guide her through if she just trusted his vision for them.

He knew Liza never wanted to be pregnant again, but hoped this could be an option. Lauren was right. Now he just had to convince Liza to step out of her comfort zone and be open to new types of relationships. There could still be hope for them.

Her words rang with finality. "I don't think I could have an open relationship. I want a partner who wants only me. I shouldn't have to compromise either."

Josh attempted one more time to get her to see his point, pleading with her. He brought up how they weathered so much before, her deceptions and their wanting different things in life. Now they could be on the same page.

"I'm not going to change my mind. I know myself pretty well after 45 years," she concluded.

He didn't want to give up, but after that harsh reality, he decided he was done, at least for now.