I know, it's been a long time. I won't get started on the why I didn't update all this time. Just that I'm really sorry!
Hope this chapter is worth your wait, although is short...
CHAPTER VI
If there was one thing that Sheldon did not expect, it was certainly to be taken by surprise at that moment with that sequence of words that would bring down his castle of hopes with as much violence and ease as if it were made of sand. The world started to spin around him and he felt his legs weaken, which caused him to gently put Amy on the floor before he was unable to hold her.
"Fiancee?" He asked incredulously, alternating his gaze between Amy and Kripke waiting for some explanation.
Kripke had a smile on his face like someone who had just hit the target without much effort. That smile made the anger build up inside Sheldon to a point that even he didn't know he was capable of feeling.
However, when looking at Amy the only thing he could see in her stunned look was bewilderment. As if she could hardly believe her eyes. As if she couldn't assimilate the events. He hadn't blamed her, but even he wasn't sure what was going on there. No answer came. What caused his anxiety to increase one level with every second that passed without a plausible explanation.
"Can you explain what you mean, Kripke?" Sheldon ordered exasperated.
The smile that Kripke kept on his face grew even more, making Sheldon's heart squeeze inside his chest, causing a pain he had never felt before, it was not a physical thing, therefore difficult to identify, but it caused him a terrible distress.
"Don't you want to tell him, dear?" Kripke asked Amy, wrapping his arms around her, making her dodge slightly, to no avail.
Sheldon looked at her again and what he saw in her eyes made his whole body shudder at the sensation of failure in all of his systems, as if his blood had stopped in his veins and the air was suddenly taken from his lungs.
She was afraid. In panic.
She was sad. Unhappy...
And there was something more in her eyes, however he had been unable to conceive of that feeling. It was something he had never seen in her eyes. They used to always be so full of light, and now the light had gone completely, leaving only darkness. Darkness that made him shiver down to the last hair.
Sheldon stared at her, trying to detect any reaction that might give her away. She opened and closed her mouth several times, but not a coherent sound had come out of it. She went pale. With a lot of effort the words were stuttered.
"S-Mr. Cooper" she started the sentence in an excessively formal way for both of them, which made Sheldon uncomfortable "Mr. Kripke and I, we..." she swallowed, seeming to be digesting her own words, "we are... committed. He must ask for my hand and the engagement will be made official soon."
The bomb was dropped, and he couldn't even hear its tic-tac before it exploded and took the floor with it at Sheldon's feet.
He was falling, falling, falling...
An endless fall that would take him to the bottom of the wells. With no hope of leaving. Where there would only be darkness, without even a light. A limbo. An emptiness. Full of nothing and everything at the same time. Where sadness, anguish and depression would take over, and he would not be able to get rid of them.
"But how?". Sheldon asked.
"Why. What a silly question, Cooper," Kripke replied mockingly. "You certainly know all the social criteria used for an engagement to be made, and that love is the main one. Both my dear Amy, and I saw conveniences in this marriage. But the main thing, Cooper," he looked at Amy and stroked her face, which caused disgust in Sheldon, and in Amy too, "we are hopelessly in love".
From Amy's obviously negative reaction, Sheldon concluded that the last thing there was love. Let alone any admiration for both parties.
He looked at Kripke again, and there was something in his manner that spoke of his nervousness. However, his look indicated challenge, at that moment he understood exactly what was happening. The smell of blackmail was in the air, and something said it would not be easy to undo them. But everyone has a weakness and Kripke would be no different.
Sheldon then decided to play his game. And then find out what was actually going on.
He already had a plan in mind.
"I see. Well, I wish the couple the best." Sarcasm dripped like poison from his voice.
"Thanks". Kripke replied.
"Well, now if you'll excuse me." Sheldon said heading towards the stairs and leaving a bewildered Amy behind.
As obvious as the situation was, it was inevitable for Sheldon not to feel his heart heavy. The thought, the simple notion of losing Amy to a jerk like Kripke, was too painful. Not so much for him, but because Amy was extremely disgusted with him. She would never be happy and it hurt his heart more than anything.
Walking through the corridors of the Institute, he noticed how plundered the building was, it looks like it hadn't been painted in years. Later on he noticed broken doors and windows. The need for a renovation of the building was evident.
He went to the rectory room where he would meet his godfather.
"You were lucky this time, but you won't get rid of me Fowler." Kripke said, tightening his grip on Amy's arm tightly before releasing her and going down a corridor, leaving her with only her thoughts.
Reality slammed against her in that instant.
Sheldon was back.
Tears began to run lightly down her entire face. And the despair was intense. She had never felt such desperation before. Not even when he was gone had she felt so lost, so groundless. She knew there was no escape. Her fate, though sad, was set. Although she wanted to run, she knew she couldn't. She would never be happy knowing that her father had lost the presidency of the Institute because of her.
She had already made her choice. She would rather live her life miserably than risk the happiness of her family and Sheldon.
Although her heart burned in despair. She knew she had made the right choice.
Choice.
She wanted so badly at that moment that her father forbade her to do what she was about to do. It would be so much easier.
So much simpler.
But life is not an easy thing, nobody had never, ever said that it would be. It was foolish to believe in fairy tales and she knew it. There was nothing to save her from her fate.
The only thing left was to lock yourself in the library and forget about all the problems. As she always did. Even if the books were not being for consoling at the time, let alone distraction. It was useless to try, even for a few hours, to forget about Sheldon Cooper. And how much she still missed him. It seemed surreal that he was back. And all the feelings that it evoked within her. From love to hurt, for having rejected her letters all this time and now appearing as if nothing had happened.
How he had changed. How much more handsome he was. So more attractive. No doubt even smarter than before.
But she no longer knew who he was. It was so strange that he was once his best friend. He had been her one and only love. And who was she trying to fool? She knew she still loved him with all her strength, even more than before. A year without exchanging correspondence had done nothing but make her dig deeper for his presence. His smell. His touch.
She was a woman now. And she understood all the dimensions of that love... Although she was still a virgin.
Penny and Bernadette, however, had explained more things to her than she wanted to know...
And yes, she wanted him, like a woman wants a man.
That, however, was beyond her reach and she knew that if she weren't his, she would never be anyone else's.
As she flipped through the pages of the book she had chosen, in that hidden area of the library, she thought of everything and nothing.
She was as confused as she never was.
It was already night when she got up, adjusted her dress and decided it was time to go home.
When Amy got home, she almost fell back when Pam came to announce who would be staying there for the next few weeks.
Deep down, she was aware that this would happen. Her father would never leave Sheldon in a hotel or anywhere else. Even after what happened to the letters...
In fact, this was a story that she needed to find out about.
But she was not in the mood for such discussions at that time. All she wanted to do was lie down and forget that day even existed.
First there was that stupid attempt by Kripke to kiss her. Just the thought of such an act made her stomach turn over.
And then, that reunion...
And suddenly her world was upside down.
Midnight was approaching while Amy lay on her back on her bed, unable to close her eyes. Insomnia had caught up with her that night. Her mind insisted on staying connected, no matter how much she wanted to sleep so as not to think about the events of that day. Everything was so confusing. And her heart ached for knowing that even now that he was close, Sheldon was never so far away.
It was surreal that he was there. For five years she had dreamed of the moment when he would return and now her feelings were a mixture of joy, anguish, sadness... She did not know that it was possible to feel so much at once.
She didn't want... She couldn't get her hopes up with that reunion. She knew.
However, part of her yearned to feel that unique and pleasantly agonizing heat again. Only he, Sheldon, was able to provoke such reactions in her emotional and in her body.
She didn't even know, until that afternoon, that it was possible to feel that way. So weak and so strong at the same time. That feeling ignited parts of her body that made her blush.
How to deal with such feelings? All she wanted to do was run into his arms. It didn't matter Kripke, or the Institute, or anything else... However, she knew she couldn't.
And there was also the history of the letters. She was confused about what had happened in that regard.
He seemed to be as shaken by her presence, by the reunion, as she was. She didn't know him anymore. But his eyes... spoke so much. She could get lost in that blue expanse. She would happily lose herself.
Living with him in the same house would be an impossible mission.
Hope you liked!
Stay safe, please!