Watson Smith: You can try and spin it however you want, I'm not doing it.
Guest 1: I plan to take very little from Far from Home.
Guest 2: I was able to work in the line, but it worked better for another character to say it rather than Peter.
Guest 3: Well, I hope I don't disappoint on Tony's reaction.
Guest 4: I'm not sure. It's certainly possible but I'm not sure what would make someone combine the two. Tony probably will but that doesn't mean he'll be able to get his hands on some.
In Central Park, Tony and Pepper were walking together as she told him to slow down.
"Me and Pep are back together?" Tony asked hopefully.
"Not just that, engaged," Parker said with a grimace, something Tony noticed.
"What, what's with the face?" Tony asked.
"Let's just say that when you asked her to marry you…not your best moment," Parker said vaguely.1
Tony said how there were some dreams in which they got to pee but there were no bathrooms. Pepper finished, saying they woke up and actually had to pee.
Everyone laughed, the scene providing some much needed levity to the room after the opening. Even Thor had an amused smile on his face.
Tony said last night he dreamt they had a kid and it was real. They'd named the kid after Pepper's eccentric uncle. Pepper nodded as Tony remembered his name was Morgan.
The future Avengers subtly exchanged glances, wondering how Tony would react when he found out about Morgan.
Pepper realized Tony had woken up and thought they were actually expecting.
"That must have been a shock for me," Tony noted a little wistfully.
He'd never really thought about having kids, mostly due to having a strained relationship with his own father. But now the idea was planted in his head and he found himself fantasizing about teaching a mini him how an Arc Reactor worked or holding hands with a girl with Pepper's smile.
Tony said he had a dream about it which was so real. Pepper pointed at Tony's chest piece and said he wouldn't have done that if he wanted a kid. Tony said it was just a housing unit for nanoparticles.
"You do not appear to be helping your cause," T'Challa noted.
"It's not helping your case, okay?" Pepper said.
"Looks like Pepper agrees with you You're Highness," Rhodey said amused as they all laughed.
Tony said it was just an attachment and he was trying to protect them, the future them, in case there was a monster in the closet. Pepper finished for him with 'shirts' and he said how she finished all his sentences.
"It's like she can read my mind," Tony joked.
"Or she's had to put up with you longer than anyone else," Rhodey joked and they all laughed, even Tony.
Tony said they would have a nice dinner and then there would be no more surprises. The two then kissed.
"Something tells me I won't make that reservation," Tony said with a wince as the atmosphere in the room plummeted.
Then a portal opened and Doctor Strange arrived, "Tony Stark, I'm Doctor Stephen Strange. I need you to come with me."
"Oh sure, because that doesn't scream 'bad guy' at all," Clint said sarcastically.
"Strange doesn't really bother with pleasantries," Lila shrugged.
"We noticed," Sam said dryly.
Tony and Pepper looked nervous as Strange congratulated them on the wedding. Tony asked if he was selling tickets and Strange said they needed his help and it wasn't overselling to say the fate of the Universe was at stake. Tony asked who 'they' was and then Bruce appeared from behind Strange, greeting the shocked Tony and Pepper before he hugged Tony.
"Did no one notice a portal in the middle of Central Park?" Scott wondered.
"Where Tony Stark goes, strange things follows," Natasha joked.
Later, Tony sat in the New York Sanctum as Wong explained, "At the dawn of the universe, there was nothing. Then... Boom." His magic showed the Big Bang happening and the projections of Infinity Stones appeared as he said, "The Big Bang sent six elemental crystals... hurtling across the virgin universe. These Infinity Stones each control an essential aspect of existence." Space. Reality. Power. Soul. Mind," Each projection glowed as Strange said their names. "And Time." Strange moved his hands as the Eye of Agamotto opened to reveal the Time Stone inside.
"So Strange has the Time Stone," Steve noted, his mind already mapping it out.
"The Masters of the Mystic Arts have been protecting the Time Stone for centuries," Scarlet explained.
"They guard it even more carefully than Fury guards his secrets," Barton joked and everyone who had met the man laughed.
"Tell me his name again," Tony said. "Thanos," Bruce told him. "He's a plague, Tony. He invades planets. He takes what he wants. He wipes out half the population. He sent Loki. The attack on New York, that's him."
"Thanos has been pulling the strings all this time; he's the one my vision warned me about," Thor said in a growl. "He made fools of us."
"He won't do it anymore," Steve said in a voice that left no room for argument.
"This is it," Tony said and asked of their timeline. Bruce said Thanos already had the Power and Space Stones which made him the most powerful creature in the Universe and if he got all Six of them-
"He could destroy life on a scale hitherto undreamt of," Strange finished.
"Did he just say hitherto?" Tony asked.
"Really, that's what you're focusing on?" Sam asked incredulously and Tony just shrugged.
Tony leaned casually against a cauldron as he asked if Strange had seriously said hitherto and Strange asked if he was seriously leaning against the Cauldron of the Cosmos. The Cloak of Levitation smacked him, making him leave it.
"Did his cloak just hit me?" Tony asked outraged as everyone else laughed. "It's not funny!"
"Whatever you say Tony," Rhodey said without an ounce of sincerity.
Tony said they should throw the Time Stone into the garbage disposal but Wong said they had sworn an oath to protect the Time Stone with their lives. Tony said he had sworn off dairy but then Ben and Jerry's had named a flavor after him. Strange said 'Stark Raving Hazelnuts' was a bit chalky.
"It is not!" Tony shouted as everyone laughed at his antics.
Wong said a 'Hunka-Hulka Burning Fudge' was their favorite, shocking Bruce.
"It is good," Scott noted and everyone had looks of agreement on their faces as Tony crossed his arms, muttering under his breath.
Tony said things changed but Strange said their oath couldn't as it might be their best chance against Thanos but Tony said it might be his best chance against them too.
"You're not wrong," Steve noted as everyone felt the reality of the situation hit them once more.
Strange said that'd be if they didn't do their jobs. "What is your job exactly? Besides making balloon animals," Tony asked. "Protecting your reality, douchebag," Strange said and he shut up.
"It looks like you've finally met your match Tony," Clint joked.
"We'll see about that," Tony sad as he narrowed his eyes. "I'm gonna roast him so bad when we get back."
Bruce said they had a stone and needed to find Vision with the Mind Stone. Tony said Vision had shut off his transponder some time ago.
"Transponder?" Steve asked wearily as they all looked confused.
"You know when you said they were gonna Lo-Jack us Sam? Well, you were right. The Sokovia Accords allow the UN to put tags on all enhanced/powered people that can track them anywhere in the world," Scarlet explained and everyone looked horrified.
"How-how is this legal? What person in their right mind would agree to this?" Scott asked angrily.
"Welcome to Nazi Germany," Steve said disgusted. "Where you're treated like you're less than human for being different."
"What was I thinking when I signed those?" Tony said as he put a hand to his head.
"You weren't. Neither of us were," Rhodey said gently, wondering how he could ever have supported something like that.
"Rhodey, there's a reason you did," Barton said and Rhodey looked at him confused. "We'll tell you before we send you back but let's just say weren't exactly yourself."
Bruce asked incredulously if Tony had lost another super-bot and Tony said he was evolving. Strange asked who could find Vision and Tony said Steve Rogers could.
"Well this should be interesting," Sam muttered.
Steve and Tony glanced at each other wearily. They knew it would be hard for Tony to put the past behind him and reach out for help. The question was, would he do it?
Bruce asked Tony to call him but Tony said it wasn't that easy. Tony said the Avengers had broken up, shocking Bruce. Bruce asked if it was like a band like the Beatles.
"Did he just compare The Avengers to a band?" Sam asked incredulously.
Tony said Cap and him had fallen out hard and weren't on speaking terms.
"Thanos is coming to wipe out half of all life. It does not matter what happened in the past, you must put it aside to defeat him," T'Challa said gently and Tony sighed.
"I know that…but I'm not sure he does," Tony said as he gestured towards the screen.
Bruce said Thor was gone so it didn't matter who he was talking to or not. Tony finally took out the flip phone, ready to call, when unusual sounds were heard.
"Something's happening," Peter said as the future Avengers looked grim.
Tony asked if Strange was moving his hair. Strange looked at his fluttering hair and said not at the moment. Tony looked up through the hole in the roof to see metal scraps flying everywhere.
"Uh oh," Scott said as they all tensed.
"Looks like Thanos' children found The Tine Stone," Steve said grimly as Tony winced.
"Should have called right away," Tony muttered.
"Can't do anything about it now," Steve said as they watched the recording.
Tony walked out of the Sanctum and saw terrified people running as dust and debris flew around. One woman fell and he helped her up as a car crashed on a pole behind him but Bruce and Wong helped the person. Tony put on his glasses and asked FRIDAY what he was looking at but she said she wasn't sure. Tony asked Strange to put the Time Stone in his back pocket but he said he might wanna use it.
"It would be smarter to take the stone away from the place where Thanos sent his children," Sam pointed out.
"Well, Strange is a lot like Tony: very prideful and not always willing to listen to someone, even when he knows they're right," Barton said and Tony sighed.
"Great, just what the world needs, another me," Tony said sarcastically.
Tony then saw a huge circular ship floating over Bleecker Street.
"Son of a bitch," Tony said stunned.
"Holy crap!" Peter exclaimed as they all stared at the screen.
"That is a big space ship," Scott said.
"No shit Tic-Tac," Sam muttered.
In a school bus, the hair on Peter's arm stood up as he looked out of the window to see the ship.
"It's me, I'm back," Peter said surprised.
"Somehow, I have a feeling that's not a good thing," Tony muttered with a sinking feeling.
He told Ned to cause a distraction and Ned saw the spaceship. Ned shouted excitedly, saying there was a spaceship and everyone was going to die. The kids all looked out as Peter opened a window with webbing.
"Friend of yours?" Steve asked Peter, who nodded.
"Ned, my best friend," Peter said.
"What's the matter with you kids? You never seen a spaceship before?" The elderly driver asked.
"Now he's a bus driver? Seriously, who is this guy?" Scott exclaimed.
"I wish we knew, but he just shows up and we've never been able to figure out why," Parker said.
Peter hung to the side and put on his mask before swinging away over the water to the ship.
Tony told FRIDAY to evac all beyond 43rd Street and to notify first responders. Strange used the Winds of Watoomb on Bleecker Street and all dust and debris cleared. He winked at Tony as Tony rolled his eyes.
"Show off," Tony muttered.
"Look who's talking," Natasha said with a smirk and Tony glared at her as everyone else tried to cover their snickers.
Then a beam shot down and Ebony Maw and Cull Obsidian appeared.
And then the snickers were gone as they all tensed, watching the recording with a lot of intensity.
"Hear me and rejoice. You are about to die at the hands of the Children of Thanos. Be thankful... that your meaningless lives are now contributing..." Ebony Maw was cut off by Tony, "I'm sorry, Earth is closed today. You better pack it up and get outta here."
"Somehow, I don't think they'll head home," Tony muttered.
"Stonekeeper. Does this chattering animal speak for you?" Maw asked Strange.
"Oh, I'm the chattering animal?" Tony asked insulted.
"High and mighty coming from Thanos' lapdog," Scott said and Tony looked at him gratefully.
"Certainly not. I speak for myself," Strange said as he and Wong summoned the Tao Mandalas. "You're trespassing in this city and on this planet." "He means get lost, Squidward," Tony added. "He exhausts me," Maw said.
"He exhausts everyone," Barton joked and Tony glared at him as everyone chuckled for a moment, the tension broken momentarily.
Maw told Cull to bring him the Stone and Tony asked Bruce if he wanted a piece. Bruce said he didn't but he never got what he wanted as he attempted to transform into Hulk but only his neck turned green. Tony sarcastically said it was good to have him as Bruce said he needed to concentrate and tried again but said they were having a thing.
"What?" Tony asked as they all looked shocked.
"Did Hulk get scared?" Peter asked confused.
"Well, yes, but that's not the only reason," Parker said as they looked over at him "He was also tired of being used by Bruce to solve his problems."
"What?" Clint asked confused.
"Bruce used Hulk as a weapon, Hulk got tired of it," Natasha realized, remembering her own time in the Red Room as Parker nodded.
"Hulk was a creature capable of desires, thoughts and feelings but, for a long time, Bruce just treated him like a disease he wanted to be rid of. You can only do that for so long," Scarlet explained as the others looked thoughtful.
Tony pointed at the approaching Cull and said that was the thing. Bruce grunted but failed to release Hulk as Tony said he was embarrassing him in front of Wizards. Bruce apologized but Tony told him to stand down and told Wong to protect him.
"We could really use a Hulk right now," Tony muttered.
As Cull charged, Tony pulled two strings attached to him and tapped his chestpiece twice as he walked forwards. The suit started forming around him slowly, the armor encasing him. Tony took off his glasses which assimilated into the suit and soon, he stood there in Iron Man Armor: Mark L.
"Whoa," Peter said as they all stared at the suit in awe.
"I made that?" Tony asked, his jaw dropped.
"Yeah, with nanotech," Parker explained.
"Wow, I'd been experimenting with it but it's still far off," Tony said still in shock. "I can't believe it actually worked."
"Well it did, and it's your most impressive suit yet," Rhodey said in awe.
Tony formed a shield and blocked Cull's hammer before uppercutting him back and then formed Cluster Cannons, blasting Cull back as Maw telekinetically threw him to a side to save himself.
"Awesome!" Peter cheered as Tony smirked.
"How do you like that?" Sam asked with a smirk.
Bruce asked where that was from and Tony said it was nanotech when Maw produced a spike from the Earth which threw him up.
"Yeah, maybe you shouldn't stop to brag Tony," Natasha said as Tony winced.
Maw attacked the rest with uprooted trees as Wong summoned the Shield of the Seraphim for defense while Strange opened a portal into which Bruce fell for his safety and half of a cab fell over him.
"Got him out just in time," Steve noted.
Tony flew back and pushed a car Maw had thrown back at him which he split into two by raising his hand.
"Shit, he's strong," Rhodey said as they paled.
"Maw is the most powerful of Thanos' 'children'," Scarlet explained.
"I think that is an oversimplification," Vision noted.
Tony told Strange to get the Stone away but he said it stayed with him. Tony agreed, telling Strange to leave before he flew off, avoiding all of Maw's obstacles when Cull threw his chain hammer and it crashed Tony through a building into the park where Bruce was. Bruce asked if he was all right and Tony asked if he would help out but Bruce said Hulk wasn't coming when Cull arrived and threw his hammer again but Tony pushed Bruce away.
"These guys don't play around," Tony said as they all stared, terrified and a little in awe of their strength.
Tony then flew and fired a beam which deflected from Cull's shield, slicing down trees. Bruce barely evaded one and started slapping himself, telling Hulk to come out. His face transformed into Hulk and roared, "NOOOOOOO!" He transformed back to normal and asked, "What do you mean 'no'?"
"Hulk is acting like a kid throwing a temper tantrum," Scott said as he remembered when Cassie would do things like this before he was sent to prison.
Tony was knocked down by Cull who was about to hit again when someone stopped his hammer. It was Spider-Man. "Hey man," He said before turning around. "What's up, Mr. Stark?"
"Oh nothing much, just fighting aliens working for an alien warlord," Clint joked.
"The usual," Tony added as everyone chuckled at their antics.
Tony asked where he had come from and he was about to tell about a field trip when Cull threw him off.
"Man I wish I had my Spider Sense back then," Parker mused as the past Avengers looked over at him.
"Spider Sense? What's that?" Peter asked excitedly.
"It's basically a feeling I get whenever I'm in danger. It started not long after Thanos," Parker said as Peter's eyes went wide.2
"Cool," Peter said in awe.
"Don't make him even more of a fanboy," Lila joked and Parker chuckled.
Tony and Peter fought Cull as Peter asked what his problem was and Tony said he was from space and was trying to steal a necklace from a wizard.
"You cover a plan spanning centuries and the entire galaxy in less than two sentences," Natasha said amused as Tony shrugged.
Cull used his hammer and threw Peter again as Tony hit him with some repulse beams. This only seemed to annoy him and Cull threw a cab. Peter grabbed it with webbing and smashed it on him.
Maw lifted several bricks and turning them into sharp points fired at Strange and Wong. They opened portals to defend themselves and boomeranged them back at him. Maw defended himself with a car but his face was still hit by one.
"Ha, take that Squidward!" Tony cheered.
Angrily, he used a broken fire hydrant's stream to throw Wong back, knocking him out.
"And now Wong's down for the count," Steve noted as they all tensed.
Strange restrained Maw with a whip but Maw flew at him and pinned Strange to a building, trapping him with bricks, saying he must be popular with the children. He tried to take the Eye of Agamotto but his hand was burnt as Strange said it was a simple but unbreakable spell.
"He really thinks of everything, doesn't he?" Scott said as they relaxed just a little.
"Usually," Scarlet said.
Maw said he'd take it off his corpse and threw him down. Strange was about to use the Time Stone when utility cables restrained him and threw him down. Strange told him removing a dead man's spell would be 'troublesome' but Maw said Strange would only wish he was dead as he wrapped a cable around Strange's neck. The tightness knocked him out as Maw raised the pavement but the Cloak of Levitation flew him away.
"That is one seriously loyal piece of outerwear," Tony joked.
Tony and Peter fought Cull when Strange flew by them and Tony told Peter to help him. Peter swung after them but Maw threw him back with a board. Peter quickly recovered and swung again as the Cloak was stopped by a pole which Maw had put in the way. Peter webbed Strange and tried to save him as he held onto a pole but Maw broke it with telekinesis and they were all beamed up to Peter's shock as he informed Stark.
"Shit," Clint said as they tensed. "Now you've both been captured. Things can never go right for us, can they?"
"You have no idea," Barton said grimly as he thought of what was to come.
Tony was restrained by the hammer which was now a claw. Cull leapt at him with a blade when a portal opened and he was thrown into snow. He tried to jump back up but Wong closed the portal, cutting off his hand.
"Ew," Wanda said as they all looked disgusted except Thor, who was used to such things.
Bruce kicked it away in disgust as Tony broke the restraints. Tony said Wong was invited to his wedding before flying back up. Tony then flew towards the ship, increasing speed with FRIDAY's help as the foot thrusters transformed to a larger jet.
"Okay, this has to be the best suit you've ever made," Rhodey told Tony as they all looked even more impressed.
"What can I say, I don't do anything by halfs," Tony joked.
"I think we've figured that out by now," Natasha said dryly.
Maw walked to the ship controls which Strange's unconscious body floating behind him and prepared to take off. Tony asked to unlock 17: A and a suit flew out of the Compound.
"What's that?" Scott asked and Tony shrugged.
"You'll see," Parker said with a smile.
Tony told Peter to let go but he said Tony had asked to save the Wizard.
"It won't help anyone if you die trying to accomplish your mission," Steve told Peter and Parker nodded in agreement as Peter flushed.
Peter pulled off his mask, saying he couldn't breathe. Tony said he was running out of air and Peter said it made sense as he started falling but the suit wrapped around him and a red and black suit with the Spider symbol on it appeared. Peter stood up and said it smelled like a new car.
"Whoa," Peter said looking in awe. "A suit for me?"
"Yeah, Tony made it for us as sort of a 'welcome to the team' gift. Of course, I only used it for a couple years," Parker said as they looked over at him. "When I wore it, people always associated me with Iron Man. I needed to strike out on my own, so I gave it back and made one of my own."
Tony said 'Happy trails' and asked FRIDAY to take him back as the parachute opened and sent him back.
"Oh come on!" Peter exclaimed as Tony shrugged.
"Sorry kid, but this isn't something you should be involved in," Tony said not sounding sorry at all. "I should never have brought you to Germany with me in the first place. I can't change that, but I can keep you out of it now."
Tony cut a hole into the ship and walked in as Pepper called and asked what was going on. Tony said they might need to push dinner as he wouldn't make it back. She asked if he was on the ship and he apologized. She asked him to come back but the call was cut due to poor signal.
Tony winced; guilt hitting him at what he was putting Pepper through. Seeing the look, Rhodey placed a hand on his shoulder.
Peter had shot a web to the ship and climbed back, foiling Tony's attempt. He clambered into the closing chamber and as he saw the receding planet, he said he should have stayed on the bus.
"Are you serious!?" Tony exclaimed as he whirled on Parker. "I specifically told you not to head home!"
"You told me a lot of things," Parker said coolly as Barton looked at him sharply. "Besides, I have a general disrespect for authority and a tendency not to listen. I learned it from you."
Tony winced, knowing he had that coming and it was silent for a few moments.
"I know you tried to do right by me but if I see a situation headed south, I can't ignore it," Parker said after a moment, looking at Steve before looking at Tony. "I learned that from you to."
"Well, guess my past is coming back to haunt me again," Tony said with a sigh.
Maw started the mechanism and the ship was accelerated to hyperspace.
Back on earth, Bruce found the flip phone on the ground and picked it up as Wong walked into the portal. Wong said the New York Sanctum was unguarded and asked what Bruce would do now.
"I'm gonna make a call," Bruce said and Wong nodded before closing the portal. Bruce looked at Steve's name and made the call.
"Finally," Scott said as they all looked over at Steve. "Looks like you'll be coming in soon Cap."
Steve nodded, watching the screen with an unreadable expression. After a moment, he looked over at Tony.
"This time, we face them together," Steve said and Tony nodded.
"Together," Tony agreed.
1: I usually like Tony/Pepper, but the way Tony proposed to Pepper was far from sweet or romantic. He basically used Pepper as a prop because Peter bailed on him. Dick move Tony.
2: I've made no secret of my distain for how Spider-Man was used in the MCU. It's hard to pick what irks me the most, but I'd have to say how the Spider Sense was all but removed is at the top of the list. It's like if you took away Cap's shield or Batman's Batmobile. It's such an import trademark of Spider-Man that for the MCU to remove it pisses me off like nothing else.