Chapter Three
Anna was fifteen when she realized that she harbored a massive crush on her best friend.
She had resolved to help Elsa learn how to control her ice powers. It had been a long process over the months. But gradually Elsa grew more confident, and with her confidence her control strengthened. Sometimes, Anna thought Elsa never needed help with her powers, she just needed someone to believe in her. Needed someone to tell her that hey, ice powers can be fun, too.
At first, it was hard to get Elsa to use her powers. Her friend had been taught to conceal, don't feel, don't let it show for so long that it was almost instinct. It took her snowflake by snowflake. A snowflake in her palm to show Anna, then a big one over her head, keeping it floating near the ceiling. Then she graduated to making a ball of transparent ice like a gigantic marble that made Anna coo in raptures at just how pretty it was. After that was perfected -no cracks, no bubbles inside- Anna asked for a small snowman. Elsa's first attempt had been more ice than snow, but Anna was not deterred. Ice statues were great too, she had assured Elsa. It had been winter by the time they were at the snowman stage, and at nights the girls would sneak out of their respective homes and build snow/icemen in the Arendelles' neat yard; not with natural snow, but with snow conjured by Elsa. The first attempts were abysmal, but in the cover of night and the familiarity of the cold weather, Elsa seemed to let her inhibitions go easier, and Anna's heart simply swelled at the precious muffled giggles Elsa emitted during those times.
Their parents seemed delighted by their closeness. Adgar and Idun were especially grateful for the joy Anna brought their daughter. Elsa's relationship with her parents changed for the better too. Well, not better, just more open. The very first time Elsa allowed her mother to hug her, Anna saw tears streaking down the older woman's face. Then her father joined the hug and all three Arendelles tangled together, unwilling to let each other go. Elsa loved hugs, and now even allowed Kai and Gerda to hug her too. Such a small thing in other people's eyes, but the Arendelles and Andersons knew it was a huge step for Elsa.
Kai and Gerda too were very happy that the Arendelles simply accepted Anna's… difference. When Anna had told Elsa, the fear of rejection had been so great that the tears had simply bubbled over, and only her single-mindedness in wanting Elsa to not feel so alone kept her from bolting. Elsa's eyes had nearly bulged out of her head, then involuntarily her eyes drifted downwards to Anna's legs before she caught herself and the hot blush consumed her.
"For real?" Elsa had whispered, and all of Anna's insecurities and shame coalesced in that moment when she nodded wordlessly, her head bowed, waiting for Elsa to cast judgment. Elsa had not said anything, but she moved her head wordlessly until her face was buried in Anna's side. It had been the first contact ever that was initiated by Elsa, and although it was not a hug, and there was no verbal acceptance, Anna felt the fear fading.
"You're telling me this now so that I won't feel so bad." Elsa had whispered. "You didn't have to. Thank you, Anna."
"I just… want you to know that you're not the only one with a secret."
Elsa had got up then, slowly as to not disturb her bad leg. And leaned over and kissed Anna softly on the cheek. "I'm so glad you decided I was worth singing to from your balcony."
Anna had given a shaky laugh, rubbing the tears from her eyes. "I've made up a second verse for that brilliant song. Do you want to hear it? Do you wanna build a snowman? Or ride our bike around the halls? I think some company is overdue, I've started talking to the pictures on the walls."
They had both fallen over laughing. It was one of the best memories Anna had, despite the events that had led up to that moment.
Nothing else seemed to have changed much. Elsa still did not go to school, though she began to really enjoy her time with Anna's horde of friends from the neighborhood and from school; they were her friends now, too. Winter saw the entire neighborhood kids teaming up to wage their usual snowball fights with each other; and this year Elsa threw herself into the games wholeheartedly. Anna always made sure she was on Elsa's team. Rival teams could never figure out just how they would always lose when it came to snowball fights against Elsa Arendelle.
Sneaking out of the house to go to parties was a trend now, too. Neither Elsa's nor Anna's parents thought their daughters old enough to go, but the forbidden nature of the act made it all the more anticipated to Anna. And everyone wanted to get to know the reclusive, regal, beautiful Elsa Arendelle. Anna thought it her duty to "introduce Elsa to society".
"No, Anna." Elsa sighed, something she seemed to be always saying whenever Anna came up with one idea or another to get them both into trouble.
Anna put on her best puppy-dog look. "Pretty please?"
"Anna. I am not going to sneak out of the house to go to the Westergaard party." Elsa said firmly. "There will be teenagers with raging hormones, and alcohol, and spiked drinks, plus outrageous games filled with sexual innuendos. I can see nothing attractive about such parties."
"You haven't even been to one, so how do you know what goes on at a party like this?" Anna pointed out with a pout.
"I read." Was Elsa's brief answer, with just enough superiority to convey she thought Anna did very little reading by comparison; which, Anna lamented, was true.
"Reading about it and experiencing it firsthand aren't the same. Please, Elsa. For me?" Anna begged shamelessly. "I really want you there with me."
"What about Kristoff and Merida?" Elsa said reluctantly, and Anna smiled, knowing she was winning.
"They'll be there too. But I really want you to come, Elsa. I just… I wish we can do these things together, you know? The usual high school milestones. I don't get to see you in school, sit with you during lunches, or even discuss school events with you. But this is something we can experience together. You know Hans; he will like you to be there."
"Because it will make him look so important to his peers that the Ice Queen of River's End graced his party with her presence." Elsa quipped knowingly.
Anna frowned. "Don't call yourself that." But Elsa just shrugged. Her reclusiveness had earned her the less-than-flattering nickname among the youth of River's End. "They have no idea how close to the truth they are."
"You are the warmest person I know." Anna said sincerely.
Elsa smiled at her. Elsa smiled all the time now, but Anna remembered a time when each smile had to be patiently coaxed out of the older girl, and still relished each smile. Elsa was beautiful any time of the day; but when she smiled like that, she was radiant.
"Alright, Anna. I'll come. Only if you promise you won't leave my side the entire time we are there." Elsa said.
"Yes! Yes!" Anna hugged her enthusiastically. "I promise!"
So here they were, at the party. It was louder than Anna thought, rowdier. She was a freshman, and it amazed her that just a few years of age difference would turn the seniors into… this. There seemed to be no restrictions as to how rowdy the party could go. Boys were doing stuff with girls that made Anna blush. She stuck to Elsa like a leech, partly because she felt very out of place, and partly because she knew Elsa felt very out of place.
Elsa had her mask on, the one that earned her the title of Ice Queen. Anna knew it was used mostly to hide the insecurity and the fear the older girl must be experiencing, and she felt bad for dragging Elsa along with her. But it was a milestone, and Anna did want to share this with Elsa. Elsa had missed out so many things, Anna was determined to include her whenever she could. Besides, it wasn't all bad, the food was good, and they spent quite an enjoyable time hoarding chocolates and eating them in the kitchen.
People around them were whispering, and pointing, throwing frequent glances their way. Anna was glad that they couldn't hear what the whispering was all about due to the loud music. She suspected it had something to do with Elsa's presence.
"Anna, I need the restroom for a while." Elsa shouted at her over the dim. Anna nodded, pointing her in the right direction – she had been to Hans' big house before and knew it well. Making good her promise of not leaving Elsa's side, she stood in front of the restroom door like a guard dog with Elsa inside, waiting for her to come out.
"Well, if this isn't the Freak of River's End." Said a voice, too loud, too drunk.
Anna stiffened, looking up at the senior boys who had crowded around. Her condition was not exactly a secret in River's End, a town where everyone knew everyone else. People made fun of her on and off, but she had never had to face them alone; she had always had Kristoff – champion of the wrestling club- or Merida –with her quick fist and merciless mouth - with her.
The senior boys seemed taller, they were so close, towering over her. Their taunts rang in her ears, blending together with the roar of the party. This – being taunted, being made fun of – did not usually happen, but every time it did, Anna just shut down. She would not admit even to herself, but her difference made her feel less normal, inadequate, and every sneer was like an affirmation to her worthlessness.
"Can I help you, boys?" said a cold voice, and Elsa materialized beside her, one arm slung across her shoulders, the other moving in front of Anna to grasp Anna's hand, holding her in a loose embrace that was both protective and comforting at once.
It was clear the senior boys did not know how to react to this surprising change of events. Elsa Arendelle, daughter and heir to the CEO of Arendelle Corp, reserved and gracious, not to mention stunningly beautiful. Many of them had wanted to get to know her, to be in her good graces. And here she was, showing her support to the Freak of River's End.
"Do you even know what she is?" one of the boys spluttered.
"Anna is the kindest, gentlest person I know." Elsa said steely, "I did not know that was such a crime."
"She's… she's…" The senior boy waved an arm, agitated, in the air, "She has a dick, don't you know?"
"Why does that matter?" Elsa demanded, "It doesn't make her less amazing a person. She has such a big heart, she's kind and friendly and cares about her friends. And all you care about is whether she's bigger than you."
There was a short silence, in which everyone stared at Elsa in stunned surprise, even Anna, and also Kristoff and Merida and Ralph and Hans, who had come rushing to Anna's rescue. Elsa's gaze turned wicked.
"Is that what you're afraid of, that she's bigger than you?" she chortled, and Anna's friends broke out laughing. Anna felt her face turning red, because she knew very well that she wasn't big; as did all her friends who had gone skinny dipping with her –granted, it was years ago when size was on none of their minds. But Elsa's arms were still around her, and her friends were laughing at those boys, siding with her, standing around and in front of her; facing down those bullies who had gone red, whose protests could not be heard over the shouts of laughter and Merida's loud "Well said, Elsa, well said! I get your problem now, Gaston, you're small!". And she knew that Elsa was doing it on purpose, turning the bullies into those targeted.
The bullies fled in the wake of their laughter.
"Are you alright?" Elsa was looking at her, and all Anna saw was her. Their friends were saying something, patting her on the shoulder, on the arm, but all Anna saw was Elsa. The beautiful blue eyes, distressed and concerned; the full mouth, parted slightly; that shining hair, pulled into a plait over one shoulder. Elsa's arms were still around her, holding her loosely, but it was the most intimate hug Anna had ever experienced, because Elsa didn't let go, and she was looking at her with such care, her whole attention was on Anna.
"Yes." Anna breathed, "Thank you." She closed her eyes when Elsa leaned in and kissed her gently on the temple.
A kiss from one friend to another, but the pull on Anna's heart was devastating.