(Puck's point of view)

Dream:

The air was filled with the soft hum of the morning bird by Sade.

I was sitting on the rocks observing the waves below as they met the rocks. There was a faint glow of warmth that I would've said was just sun, but it was unusually bright and familiar?

The birds were gliding over the seas.

I turned and my breath caught.

The music seemed to capture the moment-

how could you? You are the river, pour out of this life.

Frozen in slow motion was my wife, barefoot and in a beautiful white sundress. Her hair danced around her face in small neat waves and the smell of flowers in the wind reminded me of the spring after the soft rain showers.

A smile met her face as she twirled in slow motion.

Dazed, I stood and faced her as I continued to gaze.

The song continued.

How could you? You are the morning bird who sang me into life everyday fly away.

The waves brushed the rocks softly.

She was breathtaking.

The glow hugged Quinn's skin as if she caused it. She smiled at me as her ring finger glistened and rested on the top of her pregnant belly.

My heartbeat pounded out of my chest.

I reached out to touch her when she smiled and walked backwards in the opposite direction.

My feet led to the direction she went when I heard a cry of a baby.

I froze.

My ears followed the sound.

'Q?'

The wind whistled and the waves became distant as I followed the outskirts of the woods, until the water was no longer in view. The baby got louder and louder and then it stopped.

I stood there not seeing any baby or Quinn. Just trees & a gentle stream where I saw a crib & then our eyes met.

Wrapped in a receiver was our son cooing gently.

I couldn't move.

Sade's soft voice cut the air.

You are the blood of me, The harvest of my dream.

He giggled as if to say hi, as if he knew who I was. It wasn't soon before his brown eyes closed as he drifted off to sleep. His soft snores were a lullaby to my ears.

His lips were square and soft, like mine. His ears, nose and eye shaped made him look like a replica of my wife, Quinn.

The emotions came in waves as my hands found my mouth. First, awe, then love.

I finally rested my hands on either side of the crib.

Nothing is quite as it seems, ghost of my joy won't let me be.

I closed my eyes as the tears came. And when I opened them again, my knees buckled.

The crib was empty and my son was gone. In his place, was a bloody receiver and pacifier.

I shrieked and wailed.

'No!'

End.

I jolted awake when I felt my body shake violently from grief that hit me like a wave.

'Puck?' Quinn said concerned.

The tears stained her shirt and remembering the dream, I pulled her into my arms and kissed her on the forehead.

Sensing my pain, her hand wiped at my cheek as my tears flowed freely betraying me.

'You have dreams too.' She said matter fact.

I swallowed and nodded, knowing my voice would betray me.

She simply held me as the grief took over.

My head crumbled in my hands and her arms came through to wrap around my chest and arms.

My body shook in her frail and trembling arms.

My vision blurred and my breathing was heavy.

I don't know how long we sat in the bed like that.

'He was gone Q.' The words fell out after a long time.

She nodded against my shoulder knowing what I meant.

I was dozing when she finally said, 'babe, we should talk to someone. I think it's time.'

She met my tired eyes and squeezed my shaking hands.

I nodded and pressed my lips to her hands.

I released her hands, kissed her on the forehead and got up to wash my face.

My mind flashed to the woods when I was walking to the crib.

I gripped the sink and let the water run. It reminded me of the stream next to the Crib.

I quickly splashed water on my face, willing it to go away.

I saw our son. Our son.

I almost didn't notice when Quinn's arms snaked around my waist and her chin rested on my shoulder.

The faucet was on still.

'I've seen him you know.'

I stopped breathing, turned the water off and turned to meet her calm eyes.

My hand found her cheek.

Her eyes closed and she leaned her face into my hand.

I pulled her body close and hugged her, tucking her head to my chest.

'He was small.' She continued.

'Beautiful. He looked like you.' She finished in a whisper.

I felt her tears and kissed her forehead.

We stood like that until she stopped crying.

When we lay back down, she rested her head on my chest and her ring finger rested on my shoulder.

I pulled in a nervous breath, remembering her moving that hand over her pregnant belly.

I thought she drifted, but her breaking the silence let me know that she wasn't.

'Thank you for being patient with me.' She breathed.

'I haven't been fair and for that I'm sorry. Today that changes. I want to know what you're thinking and what you need from me.' She finished.

I smiled, my hands sliding to her cup her waist.

'I need you.' I admitted.

She looked up at me, confused.

'I need you to get through this with me. I don't want to fight or disagree or avoid this anymore. I don't want to feel this at this intensity next year.' I trailed off quietly.

The last time I mentioned moving on, she left. She wanted to hold on to him, I wanted to forget, to heal, to have sex with my wife, to have more children, but I wasn't going to push my luck. Since we've been at her mom's, we've had sex, both times which were initiated by her. And just like that, we were living past this hurt.

'Ok.' She said, interrupting my inner dialogue.

I stiffened.

'Ok.' I echoed, squeezing her in a loving way.

She sighed and moments later, we drifted off to sleep holding each other.

…..

I let Quinn sleep in at her mom's the next morning and stepped out to be with my thoughts.

I was whistling as I approached our house when chica texted me.

Puckerman, long time no see

I dangled the keys in the door, and smirked before replying 'aaww? You miss me?'

Oh please, just making an observation. Please tell me you and Q not fighting again?

'Nope, just made up last night. Surprised she hasn't said anything ;)'

Eeeeww, ok awesome.

I smirked before kicking the front door shut and tossing my keys on the couch. The landline voicemail light was blinking, so I hit play as I peeled off my shirt.

Beep

Bro, let me just start by saying you're the worst person to get in touch with. Call me back.

I snickered. Mike sounded so eager to share. I hit 7.

Message saved. Next message.

Hi, this message is for Noah Puckerman. We were calling to check in with you to confirm your contact information and to schedule an appointment for our next session.

I froze.

I ran over to check the date of that message. I didn't want Quinn to know just yet. I had to help her through this first, and then I'd tell her.

"Liar" I remembered Santana saying when she ran into me.

"I'll tell her when I'm ready." I promised

She rolled her eyes and put her hands in the air.

"Don't wait too long Puckerman. You guys have enough to deal with already." She reminded me.

I sighed.

She was right. It was August. Quinn lost the baby and to this day, we haven't shared much about how that made us feel.

Hell, as much as I'd like to know, I don't want to deal with the emotions because somehow, I know her emotions will feed into mine.

I grabbed the last red bull from the fridge and found myself looking at our most recent family picture that hung on the fridge with a magnet.

I can't tell her that I dream about our son almost every night. I told her about yesterday, but what would she think if I told her everything? I can't tell her that I imagine what it would be like to hold our baby boy in my arms. I can't tell her that I want a son to carry on my name. That I want to correct mistakes that my father made with me and I certainly can't tell her that I want another one.

She said we'd talk to someone, but what if she changed her mind? What if she shut me out?

I sighed, tossing the empty can in the trash.

My therapist's words came back to me.

Your lives have changed because of this situation. If your wife doesn't want another one, can you live with that?

I couldn't answer her. I didn't know how to.

In my heart, I never imagined that we wouldn't be able to get passed this or maybe I didn't want to think of the possibility that we'd be stuck here.

I found myself in our master bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror, naked, cold and alone.

I ran my hand across my head that was starting to grow out again.

I pressed play on Spotify as I turned to step into our shower.

The hot water ran down my skin and this time, I welcomed it.

The song 'too late' by the weekend fought to drown out my thoughts.

I let you down, I led you on

I never thought I'd be here without you

I leaned my head forward.

Don't let me drown inside your arms

Bad thoughts inside my mind

My hands found either side of the shower to hold myself up.

When the darkness comes, you're my light, baby

My light, baby, my light when it's dark, yeah

I'm too high, baby, too high, baby

'Cause I know right now, that I lost it (Hey)

The first tear fell. Angrily, I wiped it away.

It's way too late to save our souls, babe, yeah (Oh, oh, yeah)

It's way too late, we're on our own (Baby, on my own)

Quinn's face flashed through my mind.

I made mistakes, I did you wrong, babe, yeah (Oh, oh, yeah)

It's way too late to save my—

I stood in the same position until the water got cold.

I didn't realize how long it's been since I let myself think or feel without lying to myself.

My soul felt so broken, so vulnerable and the one person I couldn't share it with was my wife.

I balled up my fists and blew out a breath I didn't realize I was holding in.

I needed to hit the gym to release stress.

I grabbed a towel, dried off and threw on a tank and shorts.

I grabbed my keys, phone and a liter water.

I was so focused when I started the car to turn out that I didn't hear or see the truck that slammed into me.

It all happened in slow motion, me flipping three times, landing upside down with my arms up to protect myself from the smashed windshield.

There was blood, a lot of it and screaming. It didn't register that it was my voice until I opened my eyes and saw my shaking hands.

Was someone crying in the background? I couldn't tell.

My head was pounding, and I couldn't feel my legs. Panicked, I breathed heavily trying to twist my way out. There was no use.

After wiggling around, my strength went and just like that, I lost consciousness.

…..

(Santana's point of view)

I called Q. No response, which meant she was probably with Puck.

So, I texted Puck.

Somehow, I knew she was alone based on Puck's responses, so I figured I'd go surprise her.

We definitely needed our girl's time, get some mimosas and touch up our hair and eyebrows.

Britt went on vacation to go visit family, so I figured this would be a perfect time to hang out with Quinn and to make sure that she didn't get stuck in her own world with her thoughts.

Somedays I wondered how much money I could make being a therapist or something. I just always knew what to do with other people's problems, unless they themselves were the problem.

I snickered to myself.

I jumped in my car and turned up I like it by Cardi B.

I laughed remembering Beth ask me innocently if I was Cardi B's sister when I had my blond faze.

I sang along.

Now I like dollars, I like diamonds

I like stunting, I like shining

I like million dollar deals

Where's my pen? Yep, I'm signin'

I fixed my rearview mirror and noticed a police officer pull up behind me.

Lowering the volume, I tried to play it cool.

Sure enough, it worked. He turned right, while I continued straight.

They say miracles come in all shapes and sizes and boy that was a miracle, because my registration just expired, and I still had to renew it.

Maybe that can be added to the list of things to do.

…..

I pulled up to the house and for some reason, my Latina senses were on high.

Q's car was here, but it was..quiet. Too quiet.

I glanced at my phone and looked at the time.

10:07AM.

She didn't even reply to me.

Shrugging it off, I continued up the stairs.

My hand found the doorknob and when I turned it to open the door, I realized that it was unlocked.

I knew how this went. I watch way too much tv.

Something happened.

I opened the front door and immediately, my eyes found the guest bedroom opened slightly.

I moved slowly, not sure what to expect.

I haven't prayed since I was excommunicated from the church, but in that moment, I said a silent prayer to whoever was listening.

It seemed like forever before my hand made contact with the door.

With a push, it opened further, only to stop short and hit something.

It was Q, laying there.

I shrieked, not thinking before joining her on the ground.

I sank next to her.

"Q!" I begged as I held my best friend in my arms.

"Q!" I shook her.

My breathing got harder and my palms suddenly felt sweaty.

The air was still around us and I could only hear the sound of my rushed breaths as I tried to calm myself down.

"Quinn!" I shrieked in desperation.

She squinted before sitting up slowly.

Taking in the phone nearby her head and the tears of panic in my eyes, she closed her eyes before the first tear fell.

My hand shook, but it found her cheek.

I felt her body start to shake in agony.

My hand found her hair as I gently leaned in closer, with my forehead resting on hers.

She shook her head and managed to duck her head into the crook of my neck.

I held my best friend in my arms while she cried softly.

"I got off the phone with the police. Puck was in an accident and lost consciousness." She whispered.

It felt like an eternity passed as we held each other in silence and just cried.

Puck? Unconscious? My brain froze.

"Can you drive me? I can't feel my legs." She asked.

I nodded.

My mouth went dry. The icy feeling in my stomach made me sick.

I just texted him. How could this happen?

In a trance, I helped Quinn get some clothes on before hitting the road to find Puck in the hospital.

And just like that, that was the second time in one day that I prayed in years.

I only hoped that it wasn't as bad as I assumed.

Grabbing Quinn's hand, I squeezed as we sped up in silence.

…

(Finn's point of view)

Knock Knock.

I cleared my throat hoping that I found the place.

I never was one for directions. I first found out when I had to drive Quinn to the hospital when she was in labor.

"This is your turn." She managed to say between deep breaths.

I visited the hospital twice since her pregnancy, and every time, I still managed to miss the turn.

Sweating, I sped up only to catch the light.

She'd breath harder and moan when I fell into potholes, but not once did she get mad at me for it.

I smiled thinking about her, about us and how we were still able to have a friendship and share the one person who brought us all together: Beth.

That one name stole the parts of my heart that Rachel did not already own, and if I was being honest, I hoped that one day when we were ready, Rachel could have the same feelings that I have for our own child.

I started to get anxious at the thought of us actually raising our own child, when the front door opened, cutting my train of thought.

"Hi." I said with a tender smile.

"Finn, what are you doing here?" Rachel asked, surprised.

She hovered in the doorway.

"I came to see you before school opened again." I said my hands beginning to sweat.

I could never stay focused when I was with her.

She smiled.

"Rachel, is that dinner?" A man called out.

She sighed.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had company." I said, disappointed.

Instantly, the footsteps became louder and it was none other than Jessie, of Vocal Adrenaline.

"Oh, I didn't think I'd see you in these parts." He offered smiling at me.

Rachel sighed.

"Ok, so obviously, you guys are not the best of friends, but maybe we can change that."

I scoffed the same time that Jessie said, 'oh please.'

Did I think Rachel was going to wait for me forever? Of course not, but did I expect to see this douche making her blush?

Hell no.

That was insulting.

She's done this before when she briefly tried to go out with Puck, and now I could almost see what it was like to be in his shoes when I was with Quinn.

It felt pretty crappy: I was all out of cards and there wasn't enough time to make a difference. Especially since we were in two separate states.

Somewhere inside I knew, but I guess I had to see for myself that this thing between us wasn't going to last forever. Was it ever real? Last month, last year? The night of Puck and Quinn's wedding two years ago?

"Finn…" She began.

Jessie's hand found her shoulder.

"It was great seeing you Rach. I'll call you. Jessie." I said dropping the sunflower as I turned to leave.

"Wait, Finn!" I heard the panic in her voice.

I bit my lip, never once looking back.

My hand found my brows as I followed the short path past the park, past the theater where I met Beth, past the Starbucks that I've seen a million times when Rachel facetimed me.

It wasn't supposed to end for us.

Did she really move on already? Is that why she facetimed me less? Because I was just an old flame in Ohio? Or was I not good enough for Rachel Berry, the star?

I racked my brain remembering how many times she bragged about her new dance partner, who I now know must be Jessie.

I felt the angry tears build up.

I continued walking as the rain came down gently.

I got in a yellow cab to go anywhere but there.

We moved quickly, passing shops, bikers, big billboards. The big apple was so beautiful.

My breathing started to come back to normal after a while. Looking out the window, I saw a couple walk past, the kid on the dad's back with the mom trailing closely with a dog on the leash.

I sighed, remembering the summer nights that we'd walk hand in hand.

Flashback

We were leaving the new spider man movie around 9 that night, when I started humming sunflower.

"So, if you could have a superpower, what would it be?" She asked.

People were laughing somewhere nearby.

"You first." I said.

She looked up at the stars then closed her eyes before saying,

"I would want to reverse time whenever so that people could make things right." I heard her say.

I nodded, looking down.

"Ditto." I said softly.

We stopped walking and found a park bench.

"What about you?" She pushed.

I sighed.

"Uumm, I would want to feel what you feel." I said my eyes capturing hers.

In that moment, everything stopped: my breathing, her heart, time, the air around us was still and that's when I knew that I wanted that with her.

I cared about Rachel.

As if she could sense that, she stood up with the warmest smile extending her hand out to me.

Weaving my fingers through hers, we continued walking through the park in complete bliss.

"If I'm not mistaken, it sounds like you're flirting with me Finn Hudson."

"How'd you know?" I snickered.

She caressed my face, before pulling me in for a kiss.

"Because it's working." She whispered against my lips, walking ahead of me and smiling over her shoulder.

That was all it took. A kiss,

End flashback

The driver hit the horn, taking me out of my thoughts.

As I felt the first tear escape, I found my headphones and played the song that I once hummed that night.

You'll be left in the dust

Unless I stuck by ya

You're the sunflower

I think your love would be too much

You'll be left in the dust

Unless I stuck by ya

You're the sunflower

You're the sunflower