(Puck's Point of view)
I squinted my eyes as I heard Lost by Maroon 5 play.
I was so broken, my heart was an empty space (oh, oh, oh)
Life was a joke 'til the moment I saw your face
Saw your face, saw your face
The sun really did a number on my eyes, but the warmth felt familiar.
The song reflected where I was in life, lost.
How did I get here?
I sighed.
Feeling the eerie air, I opened my eyes and stood leaving my inner babble.
The sun shown down on me standing in a sunflower field.
Where was I?
"It's beautiful isn't it?" A voice called.
I spun on my heels only to gasp.
Standing in front of me was the familiar boy whose life I saved when I was mopping in the hospital about 7 years ago.
I grinned. Sahil.
He didn't look too much older than 10.
Sahil. He was here too.
Was I dreaming? Remembering my dream from last night, I got sad.
My breathing caught and the tears threatened to pour down my face.
I cleared my throat.
"It's nice to see you again." He offered with a bright smile.
I had so many questions.
"Come, let me show you around." He said, pulling my hand in his completely oblivious to the battle within me.
As we moved, so did each sunflower.
As if reading my mind, Sahil answered, "the land is in tune with us here. The flowers are welcoming you." He offered, suddenly sounding more mature than 10.
I snickered, getting ready to give a sarcastic response when our eyes met.
A woman was holding an adorable baby boy that had my eyes.
He immediately bubbled with laughter as if knowing who I was.
My feet became heavy.
Lost, I was lost, I was lost 'til you loved me
Now I'm found, now I'm found, now I'm found
Yeah, you took me to a place
It was safe, it was sound (sound-sound-sound)
Lost, I was lost, now I'm found
Time stopped and in one stride, I was standing inches from our son.
My breathing was harder, I blinked to hold back tears, remembering the dream last night when his hand reached out and touched my cheek.
As if sensing my love, he extended his body for me to take him. I held him, rocked him with silent coos I repeated, "don't worry, daddy is here."
Sahil stood next to the woman that I didn't recognize watching me dance in circles rocking my son to sleep.
The tears were streaming, but for once they were tears of thanks to God that this dream was better than the last one.
…
(Santana's Point of view)
There was a painful ringing in my ear.
The sound of the EKG that filled the tense air cut me out of my thoughts that replayed over and over like a sick joke.
Puck was in a coma.
I shivered remembering how we found him.
Flashback
Quinn and I held each other up, not sure what we would find.
We ran to the check in, where the nurse quietly led us to Puck's room.
"He's stable, but he is comatose." She offered.
"Is he in pain?" Quinn's voice broke.
Her face was so pale, and her voice was only above a whisper.
"It's hard to say. We're running tests and monitoring brain activity." Quinn gulped.
Nervous, I motioned for the nurse to meet me outside.
"Quinn, I'm going to step out and talk with the nurse to find out more information. Don't worry, just sit with Puck for a little." I said, knowing that Quinn couldn't handle the next words that the nurse would say.
Quinn nodded and grabbed the nearest chair to sit next to Puck.
Embarrassed, the nurse offered a timid smile and led me outside of Puck's room in silence.
"Is he going to be okay?" I asked.
I wasn't sure I was ready, but one of us needed to be strong for this part and after looking at Quinn, I nominated myself. She didn't argue maybe because she agreed. Out of us two, I could step away from my emotions quicker and a lot easier to do what needed to be done.
She knew that and so she didn't argue when I stepped out the room to speak with the nurse.
"He is breathing on his own and there are no signs of organ failure or tissue death, but he suffered a severe blow to the head. The Noah you know may not be the same man that wakes up if he does."
Her words rang heavy in the air.
"If he wakes up?" I didn't realize I said that out loud.
"Yes. He will either be in a coma and return in a vegetative state or return with possible injuries and possibly no memory."
My breathing stopped.
No memory of Quinn? Beth? The baby that they just lost last year?
Feeling my sorrow, the nurse's hand rested on my shoulder.
"Only time will tell. We don't know what will happen next, but we are doing everything we can to bring him back." Her voice trailed off.
I nodded, not trusting my voice.
"Thank you." I managed to say with a tight smile.
What would I tell Shelby, Beth? His mother? His sister? Quinn…
My shoulders shook.
I peeked into his room where Quinn was kissing the back of his free hand.
I sighed.
End Flashback
I replaced Quinn in the chair, and she lay next to Puck in the hospital bed with her head near his shoulder.
After hours of sitting here, she refused to leave his side.
I couldn't blame her.
Too painful to watch, I glanced down at my fingers.
"Quinn, you should eat." I offered.
At first, I thought she was asleep, but when her head moved in my direction, I knew she was just tired and in pain.
I stood, taking her free hand in mine.
"You haven't eaten all day."
"I won't leave him." She spat with bitterness and sorrow.
"I'll get you something while you stay with him." I said lamely.
She nodded.
I turned and practically ran out of the room under the dingy lights to the kitchen.
There was so much sorrow in this place.
Trying to distract myself, I counted the steps I stepped on.
It was working until I heard the most dreadful sound of a woman wailing. This was different.
She wailed in sync with the flat line that indicated that he was gone, never to return.
The woman collapsed in the hands of the staff. She was hysterical, hiccupping and sobbing as she met the floor.
I gasped, my hand finding my mouth as I passed her.
She barely passed for 35 years old.
Overwhelmed, I walked faster until her cries were faint, and the air was lighter than the fog of emotions.
I didn't want to imagine the widow being Quinn and me holding her as she wept. I couldn't. Puck couldn't leave us so soon.
I didn't realize a tear escaped until it greeted my cheek, cold and quick.
I sighed, grabbed a chair and took deep breaths.
….
(Quinn's Point of View)
I was by Puck's side when I drifted off to sleep.
My eyes hurt so bad from crying. They were swollen and my butt cheek was starting to feel numb, but I didn't want to move. I didn't want to think.
I didn't care to do anything.
San begged me to eat and even though I agreed, it felt like sandpaper was scratching my throat.
She thought that maybe food would help, so I nodded, and let her slip out of the cramped room when a wave of grief took over me.
I whaled, as my hands trembled and then my body. I suddenly became so weak, so tired.
The constant beeping of the EKG monitor comforted me until I drifted to sleep.
Dream
There was a woman in a torn black dress. Her hair was straight and the life behind her eyes told me that she was strong, that she was happy.
She was beautiful, so full of life, so radiant. I recognized her because that woman was me.
Quinn Puckerman.
A smile formed on my lips just as she started singing, I love you by Billie Eilish.
It's not true
Tell me I've been lied to
Her eyes found mine. She danced gracefully in the wind.
Cryin' isn't like you
Ooh
I looked away, turning my back to hers where I found a swing. I sat there, when she joined me.
What the hell did I do?
Never been the type to
Let someone see right through
Ooh
I turned to look to my side as she got up and reached out her hand to a little boy behind me who looked just like…Puck.
My hand found my mouth.
That's our boy.
My legs were weak, but I stood next to the swing for support, taking him in.
His rough tan skin and dirty blond hair.
I felt the tears slip as I began to walk away when the child called out 'mommy, where are you going?"
I froze, looking at the woman who was another version of me.
"I'm going to find your dad."
I turned around expecting to see Puck, but instead, I saw a casket.
Horrified, I screamed, until I woke up.
End Dream
"Quinn! It's going to be okay. I'm right here!" Santana called.
I woke up crying, trying to move when I saw Puck still unconscious lying next to me.
Santana sensed my panic.
"He's okay." She started for her phone.
I instantly mustered up all of my strength and knocked her phone out of her hand.
Surprised, she looked at me.
"Please don't call anyone. I'm fine, just a bad dream." I said too quickly.
Santana nodded and held some food in one hand.
"Ok." She offered handing me a bag of food, not bothering to argue.
We ate in silence until she finally said, "I'm going home. I have work in the morning."
"I'll stay here." I said automatically.
She nodded, understanding that tonight was not the night to argue.
"I left a voicemail for his mother to call me and that it's about Puck, but I believe she was working a 12 hr shift, so she'll probably stop in tomorrow with his sister." She mentioned.
I didn't tell my mother or anyone else because I couldn't think, I couldn't form the words.
My husband, Puck is in a coma.
It felt wrong thinking of it let alone experiencing it.
San frowned watching my face change.
"I can call off and stay here with you." She offered.
"No, I'll be fine." I said.
"You've been so great to us. Where would we be without you." I said meeting her eyes and squeezing her sweaty palm.
She blushed and looked away. Then, leaning in, she gave me a quick but meaningful hug and kiss, whispering a 'goodnight."
I nodded and rested my hand on Puck's heart just so I can feel it beat. I glanced at his bandages, cuts, scrapes, and smiled a sad smile.
I could hear his effortless laugh fill the air around me when he joked about his last injury when Finn broke his nose.
Flashback
"Damn, now my face is asymmetrical." He blurted.
He was rested on the couch healing a few weeks after being released from the hospital. Beth was with Shelby and I was playing doctor and new girlfriend.
I frowned, folding my arms.
He laughed so hard, he was grabbing at his bruised ribs.
"That's not funny." I said, holding his gaze.
His eyes soften and he got up from the couch at his apartment to rest his arms on my hips.
My arms snaked around his shoulders, pulling him in for a hug.
"I almost lost you, again." I admitted, biting back a sob.
"You never will, not again." He reassured me.
I pulled back and kissed him so gently.
My eyes were closed and my forehead rested against his. His breathing was even, but mine was frantic and my heartbeat was racing against the cool of his chest.
He kissed me again and smiled against my lips.
"I love you Quinn." He said so softly.
"I love you too." I said.
He kissed the top of my forehead, hitting the lights and pulling my hand in his.
That was the first time in a long time that he held me in his arms as we both drifted off to sleep.
End Flashback
I didn't realize we weren't alone until the lights switched on.
"Hi, I'm Dr. Tobias, Noah's neurologist. You must be his wife." He prompted, glancing at my ring.
"Yes. Hi." I managed, clearing my throat.
"I wanted to see how he was doing." I said lamely, getting off the bed.
"Of course. I'm actually here to give you more information. Noah's brain activity is very unusual." He started.
I gulped.
"His brain waves indicate that he is awake and conscious in his mind, just not in his body."
I frowned.
He chuckled.
"He can hear you and feel you, he is just unable to respond until his brain decides to release him from the unconscious space that he is existing in." He clarified.
Puck is alive. I must've said it out loud because the doctor responded yes.
"I encourage you to talk to him and get him to come back to you." He said.
I nodded, excited and hopeful since getting the news.
"Ok, I will." I said.
"I'm leave you two to rest. Good night." He said, hitting the lights and closing the door behind him.
Puck can hear me and feel me.
The thought buzzed around in my mind.
I joined my conscious, unconscious husband on the bed.
Instantly, I decided that if I couldn't write him letters, I'd read them to him or talk.
"Puck, you got banged up pretty bad. They say you may not be the same, but I know the Puck that I married is a fighter. It's just another battle."
I half expected his EKG to spike but kept talking when it didn't.
"I didn't tell Shelby or Beth yet. I don't know what Beth will feel having only me around when she grew up the first 5 years with her dad." I said honestly.
I paused.
"I'm scared. I was never as brave as you. I was brave because of you."
The soft echo of the EKG filled the air.
"Puck, she's lost so much at a young age. She lost me once, the normal life with you Shelby and her in Chicago and now she's fighting not to lose her dad." Tears filled my eyes, but I kept going for Puck.
"We need you baby." I broke off.
"I need you. I can't do this without you." I admitted.
The EKG reminded me of his state and when I couldn't find words anymore, I cried silently for the 10th time that day.
I was a mess.
I sighed, rubbing my sleeve over my face.
I shivered involuntarily, before hiding my face in his hospital gown on his good shoulder.
His body was warm and strong against mine.
I swore I heard his EKG pick up speed, but I couldn't tell past the throbbing headache.
My mind was so heavy with the day's events that even I couldn't fight the wave of sleep that came my way.
…
(Finn's Point of View)
My hands found the keys like I've practiced it.
It was so refreshing to find my place in the auditorium like I once did when I attended McKinley High 7 years ago.
I felt my eyes close as the 1975's words found me.
When you're in love but you don't know what to do with it
When blackness hangs overhead like a cloud
Rachel's face flashed before my eyes. I smiled.
Don't worry, darlin'
'Cause I'm here with you
Don't worry, darlin'
The sun will shine through
She took my hand in hers, smiling.
When you wake up and you don't know what day it is
When the pain flows through your heart and your bones
I imagined her dancing with Jessie. I smiled a sad smile.
Don't worry, darlin'
'Cause I'm here with you
Don't worry, darlin'
The sun will shine through
When you feel no one knows just what you're goin' through
I heard someone sing behind me.
When your insides feel much colder than snow
I finished.
Mr. Shue's hand found my shoulder as he sang the words with me.
Don't worry, darlin'
'Cause I'm here with you
Don't worry, darlin'
Oh, don't worry, darlin'
Don't worry, darlin'
I'll always love you
You
"Don't Worry by the 1975." Mr. Shue stated.
I nodded, my shoulders slumped.
He waited quietly.
"She's with Jessie. He's her dance partner." I said eventually.
He sighed.
"Rachel loved you. She always has. You just have to find out how she loves you now and how much its changed." He said slapping my shoulder before getting up as the late bell for 5th period rang.
…..