Sakura felt like her life was stagnant.

A whole year had passed, but she felt like she was exactly where she was a year ago.

Logically, she knew this was not the case. Enrolling in online school was one of the best things she could have done for herself. It was almost as good as when she decided to move away from Konoha, though she would never say it out loud. Due to her decision to pursue her degree online, she was able to finish it all pretty fast and was ahead of most of her friends in advancing academically. Her parents and friends were proud, Gaara was proud, and she felt she was on the right track.. Academically.

All around her was engagement, wedding, pregnancy, and relationship announcements.

A lot had happened in a year where her friends were involved but all Sakura had was her schoolwork.

Ino and Sai got married a month ago.

Naruto and Hinata have been engaged for three months while Shikamaru and Temari were due to be married in the Spring.

It made her feel suffocated. Sakura felt like she was behind in life and it was irritating because she knew, logically, that life had no exact time line nor plan. It all happened when it was the right time and bad things come from rushed situations. Sasuke was a good example of that and if she really wanted to include him, Itachi could serve as a minor example of rushed decisions.

It wasn't like she was romantically alone, either.

Her and Gaara have been dating for a year now, but she wasn't sure where their paths were leading.

He satisfied her for the most part sexually and he provided emotional companionship, but outside of that she felt she was at odds with him and their relationship. When she pictured herself settling down and marrying, having children of her own: they didn't have red hair. Of course, this unsettled her, and she would quickly remind herself of how much Gaara has done for her. How comfortable she was with him. How stable it was with him.

She didn't want to disrupt what they had, but she also didn't know what else they could have. Sakura didn't love him and she didn't know if he loved her.

"Did you stay up for me?" He purred into her ear as he joined her on the bed. His arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her back up against his chest, and he pressed firm kisses to her cheek and down to the junction of her neck.

"Of course," Sakura said in response and she closed her eyes. She wouldn't admit that everytime she was awake when he came home it was because she was up thinking or felt lonely. It is how it has been since he moved in with her when Ino moved in with Sai. She didn't want to admit it to herself, either.

It was easy.

Too easy to fall in place against the mattress when he shifted them to where she was staring up at him and he down at her. Emerald met seafoam and the rest was history that night when their bodies collided.

"How is everything going with the wedding plans?" Ino asked as she plopped down on the couch next to Temari who was looking over different floral arrangements. Sakura and Ino were trying their best to help her out with the planning as Shikamaru was busy with his schooling and wasn't interested in helping out with tedious things like decorations. Like Sakura, he was nearly finished and actually already had a job lined up as an accountant.

"It's fucking ridiculous. I have half the mind to say fuck this and just marry the idiot at the courthouse."

Sakura rolled her eyes at the dramatics. She knew that Temari would not be satisfied that way. The woman, like Ino, had an eye for the dramatics and wanted the best for her special day.

"It will all be worth it in the end, you know that," Sakura said reassuringly and gently took the pictures and magazines out of the blondes reach. "For now, lets go get something to eat. We can come back to this afterwards."

"I guess you're right.." Temari sighs and stands up along with Ino. "A break wouldn't hurt. God knows how many Shikamaru probably takes in a day." The three women laughed together and soon found themselves at McDonalds.

They were sitting around a round table and Sakura was momentarily distracted by the memory of coming here with Gaara and Genki. They had come here many times together, but the particular instance was the one when she and Gaara were mistaken as his parents. Sakura, again, found her trying to picture little redheaded kids of her own and she came short. Sighing, she tunes back into the conversation at the table.

"So who is playing at the wedding?" Ino asks and this piques Sakura's interest. She knows that they are related to Sasori, but she wasn't sure if they played the kind of music appropriate for a wedding. A part of her yearned to have the Akatsuki play there, but the logical side of her wanted anything associated with Itachi far away from her.

Itachi hadn't reached out to her since she moved to the city and especially not since they had slept together. She was beginning to think she hallucinated the entire experience and that no one named Itachi had ever even existed in her life. She supposed it was better this way, though. Some distance had benefited her so far.

"Sakura?"

She snaps back to the conversation. She hadn't realized that she was in her thoughts for so long and she had completely missed the entire conversation about the band playing there.

"Sure, that sounds great," Sakura says and smiles. The two blondes look at her suspiciously and she briefly wonders if there was a reason why but waves it off when they shrug.

"Well, if you don't have a problem with it, then I guess it is settled." Temari says and checks something off of her wedding list. Sakura was going to question why she would have a problem with anything to do with the other woman's wedding but decided to keep her mouth shut when she spotted Gaara walking into McDonalds and approaching their table.

"Hey," she greets and leans up to give him a chaste kiss.

"How did I know I would find you here?" He groans as he slides in next to her.

"Lucky guess?" Ino says and Temari sips on her drink innocently.

"You women are just as obsessed as Kankuro and Genki," Gaara shakes his head and wraps his arm around Sakura's shoulders.

"Are you hungry?" Sakura asks as she places a french fry against his lips. He eats it but not without saying a "not really" afterwards. "More for me then," she hums and eats the rest of her fries. She pointedly ignores the looks of her two best friends. She did not want to hear what they had to say about her and Gaara.

It was no secret that Temari had wanted happiness for both her brother and friend, even better if it was found between the two of them. It wasn't a surprise, to everyone else, that Gaara and Sakura had begun dating. It was only a surprise to Sakura.

Then again, Sakura hadn't been looking for a relationship in the first place.

The longer Sakura was away from the ocean, the more she missed it.

The salty breeze and the sounds of the waves hitting rocks and washing over the shore was a sound that her heart and ears longed to hear again. A part of her desperately wanted to return to it, to her home, but she knew that she couldn't. She had nowhere to stay there. Her parents had long since sold their home and she didn't want to put any of her friends out.

She would settle for visiting in her memories and in her dreams.

Dreams such as the one she was having right now.

The sand was wet between her toes, but she paid it no mind.

The sea was inviting and she wasted no time in stepping into the enchanting waters. She felt the waves lap at her knees and slowly swallow her up to her hips. It was early in the morning, just after sunrise, but she had never felt so alive. The sun was warm upon her skin and the feeling encased within her chest was full.

She felt safe and whole.

Sighing, she closes her eyes and leans her head back… into something solid and hard. She felt strands of hair that weren't her own tickle her face and she opened her eyes to stare into-

"Sakura."

"Sakura, wake up," Gaara gently shook her and she sat up in a hurry. Her breathing was erratic and she couldn't fathom what had gone on in her dream. The scenery that was so peaceful had soon turned into dark and twisted waters. The eyes that she looked into were as treacherous as the sea until they weren't.

Her emotions were raging inside her like a storm at sea.

"Are you okay?" He asks softly and brushes her sweaty hair away from her face, behind her ear, just like she likes her hair to be. He was pressed against her side and she turned to him in a hurry. She buried her nose into his chest and he let her, caging her in. Inhaling deeply, she noted in a feeling she couldn't describe that he didn't smell like home. He smelt like stability, but not the kind she needed. Frustrated, she climbed into his lap and allowed him to hold onto her as she clung to him tightly.

"Sakura?"

"Just hold me."

He didn't say anything else, letting her ground herself. He was used to this and she was used to the disappointment.

It was a comfortable routine in a way that it shouldn't be.

"What do you want for your birthday?" Gaara asks absentmindedly as he runs his fingers through her hair. She was cuddled up next to him, a medical text book in her lap, and Genki watching cartoons from beside them. This was how they often spent their Saturdays. It was comfortable, routine, and it was safe.

"I don't know.." She hums out and she spots the ocean in the show that Genki was watching. Sakura didn't like asking for many things. It has always been a constant battle with her growing up on figuring out what she wanted for her birthday.

"Anything you want, it's yours." He presses a kiss into the top of her head and Sakura gives him a small smile. If she were anyone else, her heart would have done cartwheels. As it were, she could only feel grateful for him.

Grateful that he stayed by her side though they weren't in love.

Grateful that he did not expect more out of her than what she could give.

Grateful that he was there for her, always. Never had she been in the dark when it came to him.

"Maybe.." She trails off, pausing, "Maybe we could go on a trip?" She asks and looks up into his eyes. A far away look in her eyes. "Maybe to the beach?"

"I can't believe you're here!" Naruto shouts and picks Sakura up into a bear hug.

"Easy Naruto, I can't breathe," she groans out and the blond laughs obnoxiously. Once he puts her down, he is off to go talk to Gaara, and Sakura is left with Hinata. The two young women envelop each other in a hug.

Sakura is grateful that with all the time apart, she didn't feel any further away from Hinata as far as their friendship goes. She is immensely grateful for the dark haired girl.

"How are you feeling?" Sakura asks as she looks down at the small bump that was protruding from the small girl's waist.

"Very pregnant and I'm not even that far," says Hinata softly and Sakura laughs quietly. Hinata was only three months along. She had fallen pregnant about two months after their engagement announcement and the young couple thought that Hinata's father was going to lose it. Luckily, Naruto's parents and the couple were able to explain to Hinata's father that they are adults now and that they were more than capable to handle themselves now. Sakura was up all night when Hinata found out she was pregnant. It was a late night but so worth it.

Sakura loved babies.

"What are you doing out here so early?" Groans Gaara as he comes to wrap his arms around her shoulder from where she sat on the front porch of the beach house they were renting. "Come back to bed, the sun isn't even up yet."

"The sunrise is the prettiest over the ocean. It was always my favorite part of living out here," Sakura hums out as she leans into Gaara's arms and the back of the chair. "It's so beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you."

"You're too sweet to me," she says softly and gives his hand a squeeze. Just as the sun starts rising she allows him to lead her back into their bed. She falls into the sheets and allows the rising of a whole new entity to take over her thoughts and attention.

"I can't believe I'm getting married tomorrow," Temari says as she sits upright from the bed that she and a few other girls were sharing. "Oh my god, this is happening so fast."

"Relax, you need your sleep," groans out Ino. "It isn't as bad it seems, believe me."

When Temari makes another sound of wanting to talk, the other blonde picks up a pillow and launches it at her face. "Go to sleep!"

"Oh no you didn't," and that was the only warning Sakura got before there was a pillow fight breaking out around them. Suddenly, Sakura didn't blame Hinata for having the foresight to want to sleep with Naruto.

She wished she would have declined the offer to share a room with Temari and just sleep with Gaara, like usual. However another part of her was what lead her into joining in on the fighting and allowing herself to cackle like a school girl well into the night.

By the time morning came, they were all exhausted, but not to the point that makeup couldn't fix it.

Temari looked stunning with her hair tied up into a simple and loose bun, flower clips arranged in her hair to keep her veil in place. Her wedding dress was more on the simpler design but still held some floral design to it. It was off the shoulder and coming down to a v-neck that was loose until it got to her hips before flowing out once more at her knees. She looked stunning.

Sakura hoped to look that happy and beautiful at her own wedding.

The ceremony was beautiful and touching. She was immensely happy for her friends and she said as such in her maid of honor speech.

"There are no two people who deserve each other more than these two," Sakura had said and the crowd agreed. She could feel Gaara watching her but she couldn't meet his eyes, not when speaking those words.

The reception was well on its way and Sakura was beginning to wonder if the band was ever going to show up.

Popping a strawberry in her mouth, she looked at the stage with vague interest. The set up was odd, but the couple were odd in their own ways, too. She wouldn't put it past them to have some weird band play just for it to be a cheap way to still have music. Sighing she looks at her empty drink and makes eye contact with Gaara as he brings her another glass.

Today was the first time she was allowing herself to drink again. She figured she was safe from making dumb mistakes now like the last one. Especially since she was tied down this time.

"Thank you," she says softly and presses a kiss to the red-heads cheek.

"Anything for you," he responds sweetly and wraps his arm around her waist. Leaning her head against his chest, she could hear the sounds of a mic and movement on stage. Feeling Gaara's hold on her tighten she peeks an eye open but her world stops as the first strum of the guitar sounds.

Her breath catches in her throat when she makes eye contact with the person playing the guitar and the person singing haunting words.

It suddenly made sense why Sasori was missing after the main wedding event happened and the reception started. He had to change to be on stage.

Akatsuki was on stage and that meant that he was on stage.

Itachi's eyes were trained on her and only her. She felt like she was suffocating. The drink in her hand and Gaara's tight hold around her waist paired with Itachi's smouldering stare did not help to alleviate the feeling she felt.

"I need air," she choked out.

The crowd around her was smothering and it wasn't even that big of one. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Gaara give Itachi a glare before focusing on her with worried seafoam. Her heart hurt when his eyes settled on her, only her, but her mind wasn't on him.

"Come on, let's go get you some water."

He led her away from him, away from the music, and slowly she felt like she could breathe.

Gaara gave her water and he let her relax against him. He didn't say anything and neither did she. He wasn't stupid, he knew how she felt about Itachi and he suspected how she felt about him. Rubbing circles along her back as she relaxes in his presence, he hoped that they could ignore the obvious for just a little bit longer.

Sakura didn't know how long they were away from everything, but at some point the reception must have ended because guests were filtering outside to see the newlyweds off to their honeymoon. Standing up with Gaara steadying her, she gave Temari a farewell hug and shrugged off her worried look and a pair of intense onyx eyes staring her down. She could get through this.

"Be safe," Sakura said and watched as Temari ran off into a limo with Shikamaru. She knew that they would be happy together. Looking over to Gaara out of the corner of her eye, she found him watching her.

Could they be happy, too? In love?

"I'll be back, I'm going to go get the car, okay? Stay right here." He pressed a kiss to her forehead and she melted slightly. Maybe. He was constant in her life. He was there for her, he grounded her, and he was stable. She needed something stable, she craved it, but she also craved something else.

"Be safe," she whispered to his back as he left.

Very few people were left behind, but Sakura still felt overwhelmed and crowded. She was anxious waiting for Gaara to come back with the car. She knew why, but she was hoping the person responsible for her anxiety wouldn't find his way to her. Of course, that was in vain.

"Sakura, it has been awhile."

"It has," she answers smally and avoids looking at him.

"How are you doing? School is going well, I presume."

"I'm well, yes, and you?" She responds, returning the question out of politeness all while trying to convince herself that she doesn't care.

"I am doing good. Most of my time is preoccupied with Hana," he answers and dread fills her stomach. Who is Hana?

"I see," she shifts on her feet and awkwardness fills the air between them. This wasn't how she thought their next meeting would go, though she didn't think it would ever happen. She was hoping it wouldn't but a part of her, deep down, had wished it did. But not like this. "I bet she's beautiful."

"One of the happiest girls I know," Itachi says and picks up his phone. A sour feeling worms its way into her chest as she realizes he was going to show her a picture. Was it even appropriate to show off a girlfriend to someone that you had sexual relations with? Then a thought occurred to her.

What if he didn't know?

She didn't know if she was relieved or upset at that thought.

"This is her, she looks so much like Sasuke when he was a baby." Sakura is surprised when she sees a picture of a toddler with deep mahogany locks of curly hair and deep black eyes. Her heart softens. This is the baby Karin was pregnant with. It wasn't a girlfriend.

"She's a cutie," Sakura smiles and momentarily forgets that she was trying to avoid eye contact with him when she looks up and meets his gaze.

The world around them pauses and she could feel her heart in her throat. It felt like there was no one but them and as much as it felt right, it felt wrong. Immediately she is filled with images from their drunken adventure and the way he felt touching her, inside of her, and kissing her. The way she felt like she was his whole world by the look of longing in his eyes, the same want and longing that was in his eyes right now.

"Sakura, I-"

Beep.

Sakura jumps slightly and looks over to see Gaara in the car, honking the horn to get her attention. She lets out a breath of relief. He was finally back.

"I.. I should get going," Sakura says softly and looks at him awkwardly, avoiding eye contact. "It was nice, uh, seeing you.." As she starts walking away, she is overwhelmed with her thoughts. She doesn't make it far before she feels someone grab her hand. Surprised, she turns around and makes eye contact with sad eyes.

"Itachi, what are you doing?" She asks softly and is almost willing herself to take a step away from him as he was so close to her.

"Does he make you happy?"

"I, what?"

"Are you happy with him?" He repeats and her chest tightens.

"Yes," she answers softly because it was easy. Gaara did make her happy. He was one of her best friends and he knew all the right things to cheer her up. It was just a bonus that they could reach out for one another in the middle of the night and ground one another in the most physical way they could. She almost couldn't stand the way his face fell.

"Do you love him?" He asks her softly.