The ride to Konoha began quietly enough.
Nothing but the sound of her tires against the pavement sounded in the car- not even the radio or the sound of Itachi's slightly rigid breathing. He has had a cigarette lit the entire way in his hand, the window down, and Sakura is thankful for the breeze. She hated the smell of those things, they were bad for the lungs, but she would scold him another time for that. If she got the chance.
"I had no idea where Sasuke went after what happened that night," Itachi said softly and Sakura didn't have to think too hard on which night he was referring to. There weren't many nights with the three of them involved that had happened in the last few years, almost all were during high school. Sakura chews on her lips, glancing at him from the corner of her eyes, but still keeping her focus primarily on the road. "I didn't know what would become of him after he had been kicked out.. I wish I would have tried harder to reach out to him like Naruto had."
It wasn't a secret that the blond had tried desperately to get in touch with the dark haired man after he all but disappeared. No one but a few people knew what had happened at the cliffs and Sakura hadn't ever had the heart to tell Naruto what had happened that night. Though the two had gotten off on a bit of a rough foot, she knew that they had become close at their mothers persistence. She couldn't rob him of that extra brotherly bond. What was a secret, though, was that Sasuke had been kicked out.
"You couldn't have known this would happen, no one did," she tries to reason softly but he shakes his head. His short hair falling to the front of his face from their normal swept back position. "I mean it. Don't blame yourself, this isn't on you-"
"I could have tried harder to understand him," he cuts her off and Sakura knits her eyebrows in silent frustration. Even when she was dating Sasuke, she didn't know much as to why their relationship was so sour even before she came into the picture. Looking back on it, she could see why Sasuke could have gotten potentially jealous over her when it came to Itachi and her friendship, but that didn't excuse it. All she knew was that Sasuke had strived so hard to be "perfect" just like Itachi while the latter struggled to stay "perfect" for his father so that his brother could be "free" from that burden. Both carried a lot on their shoulders, Sakura could see that. They both tackled on more than they could chew, much like she does, and it was what had brought her to both of them. Their drive.
"You could only try so much. Trying goes both ways." She briefly looks over at him and she can see the exhaustion and mental-tax this whole thing is taking on him. He was trying to shoulder all of the blame and carry it as a weight that holds him down - another ball to add to his anklet, invisible to all but him and her, where all of his worries and regrets are bound to him. "You can't hold yourself accountable for decisions that he made as an adult. For now, lets go make sure he's okay and then we will see what happens next." She pauses, looking at him in the eyes, "It isn't too late."
He doesn't say anything for the rest of the car ride and she wonders if perhaps she was too harsh. She wasn't sure there were too many other ways she could have gone about it. There are plenty of what ifs that Itachi could think of, but none of them would hold as much importance as what comes next. There is no point in thinking about the past when the present was spitting in his face right now, mocking the possibilities of the future.
The hospital came into view far quicker than Sakura thought it would. As she parks, she hesitates on unbuckling her seatbelt. Was it appropriate for her to go see him? Looking up she meets Itachi's gaze, noting that he is already unbuckled, and has such a soft look on his face that she could hardly focus on anything but him and the way her heart had slowed.
"Thank you, Sakura," he says and she allows a brief look of confusion pass her face before she realizes that he must be talking about giving him a ride. Before she could reply, he is speaking once more. "I'm glad that you brought me. I would have lost my mind otherwise, I don't know how I lasted without you." He said it as easily as if he were talking about the weather and that baffled Sakura, did weird things to her heart, and made her bottom lip quiver just the tiniest bit. She didn't know what to say or what she could say to him in response, but she eventually gave him a small smile.
"Go," Sakura says softly and he understood. Slowly getting out of the car, he hesitates before getting out all of the way.
"Are you coming?"
His eyes were on her and she didn't know how she was supposed to say no, even if she wanted to.
It had been a long time since she had seen Sasuke.
The last time she had ever saw him, that she remembered, was when she fell from the cliff and that image always was in a constant tango with what happened right before she fell. No matter how hard she had tried, she couldn't forget the way his horrified face twisted into the monstrous one of desperation and greed that was above her.
Even so, she was sure she could add the image of him in the hospital bed with machines hooked to him to her list.
Itachi was sitting on the couch by the window with Mikoto while Fugaku was talking with the doctor down the hall. She could feel the sheer amount of pain, worry, and guilt coming off of Mikoto in waves. Sakura didn't have to guess very hard to figure out why she was feeling that way.
She felt like an intruder.
She felt out of place, but she couldn't leave. She knew that Itachi could go home with his parents, though she reasoned with herself that it would be polite to stay anyway. At least that was the reasoning she was giving herself. Seeing Sasuke look pale and unresponsive made it hard for her to leave with clear consciousness. It didn't feel right.
Sakura couldn't understand or even get the slightest clue as to what could have driven him into the position that he was in currently. She had never thought to ask Naruto if he was ever successful looking for contact with him and now she found herself wondering if she should have. He hurt her, yes, but she didn't want him to suffer, to die.
Sitting next to him in a chair, she looked down at his face and noted how his hair had gotten longer. It was a small thing, though it brought her some sense of amusement. It seemed the two brothers had opted to switch hair lengths. Letting out a soft breath, she gently moves some of his hair away from his face. She knew he was asleep and couldn't feel nor care about the hair covering his eyes, but she still did it anyway. Briefly, only so briefly, she wonders if he would have still ended up where he is if she and him had worked out or if him and Karin did. In a perfect world, she supposed it would.
The door slides open and Sakura looks up, Fugaku walking in and coming to stand in between his wife, oldest son, and his youngest. She can see his sad stare on his form and she wonders what will happen after all of this. Once again, she feels like she is intruding. This time she does stand up.
"I think I'm going to go see how Naruto is doing," Sakura starts and the three conscious members of the Uchiha family look at her without actually looking at her, "Please let me know if anything changes or if any of you need anything."
"Thank you, dear, you've always been so kind," Mikoto says softly with a hollow smile and Sakura gives her a small, sad smile in return. She hated seeing them like this. She truly wished, for their sake, that Sasuke was able to bounce back from all of this.
She wishes, for all of their sake, that they can recover from this, too.
She didn't know where she was going to stay, if she was honest. She felt weird asking Naruto to stay, not only because of the baby that is soon to be born, but because of the entire situation. Sakura didn't want to add anymore stress.
Parking her car, she hesitates as she stares out of her passenger window.
She wasn't sure if she wanted to go out there. Last time, she had Gaara with her and he wasn't with her right now. She was all alone. Taking a deep breath, she unbuckled her seat belt and slid out of her car. She takes in a deep breath and tucks her hair behind her ear when it blows into her face from the winds playful nature. She eyes the sand and water up ahead warily, taking slow and cautious steps. Sakura could do this, she used to do it a hundred times over.
Once she was half way down the beach, she thought she was far enough.
Letting out a soft huff, she plops down into the sand. She knew she would be fishing sand out of her pockets and shoes for the next week. Looking down at said sand, she picks some up in her hand and watches it fall through her fingers. It reminded her of the sand in the hourglass. It seemed everything is timed.
Life, death.
It all comes around eventually and no one ever had a clue when they were going to be hit.
"Sakura?" Calls a voice, one she couldn't quite recognize but turning around she raises her eyebrows in surprise.
"Karin?" She asks and she stands up as the redhead comes up to her on her hip the very little girl that Sakura was shown by Itachi on his phone. "Wow! She's so pretty," Sakura coos and looks at the little girl who is shyly hiding into her mothers shoulder.
"Isn't she?" Karin smiles and presses a kiss to the little girls, Hana's, forehead and Sakura's heart softens at that. She could tell that Karin would give the world for her child, loved her the most, and would do so until her dying breath. Motherhood suited her. While Sakura is in her thoughts, Karin gets her attention, "So what are you doing down here? Visiting friends?"
Sakura supposed that would be the logical answer, however there was a sad and knowing look in the other woman's eyes that told her that she knew why she was really here anyway. She figured that in the last few years, Karin had gotten pretty close to the Uchiha family. It was a good thing. Sakura knew that single mothers had a rough time.
"I actually came here with Itachi because of.." Sakura trails off and Karin loses her smile, nodding grimly.
"Because of Sasuke," she finishes and Sakura could only nod. She could only hope that Karin didn't misinterpret what she said and think that she came down here solely for Sasuke. That wasn't the case at all. She wanted to check on him, sure, but she really wanted to keep an eye on Itachi, Naruto, and his family.
"I just got off the phone with Mikoto. The doctors say he's going to be fine, they've been working on flushing out the drugs from his system and the, uh, you know, on his arms weren't as bad as they looked, thankfully." Sakura listened as Karin tried to censor herself and even went as far as to cover her daughter's ears. She doubted that the toddler cared too much as she was fixated on the ocean. Sakura didn't blame her, the water was beautiful.
"I'm glad."
And she was.
She was just saddened that it had come to this.
Mikoto and Fugaku had ended up buying Sakura's old house, as ironic as it is.
Their reasoning was that they weren't getting any younger and that the other house was, and always has been, Itachi's. He would need his own space eventually, they had reasoned. He would need space for his wife and kids, they argued. Itachi had just relented and Sakura could imagine the resigned look on his face.
Karin was living there with them, which is how Sakura found herself sitting in her old living room, sipping a cup of tea, and having a staring contest with a toddler.
"You can stay as long as you are in town, we don't mind at all," Karin calls from the kitchen where she is making Hana's breakfast.
"Thank you, I appreciate it," Sakura says kindly and then she focuses back in on defeating Hana. The door opening abruptly causes her to look away quickly, caught off guard, and Hana's gleeful laughter has Sakura zeroing back in on her with mock anger. "You win, you cheater," but she just laughs along with Hana.
The girl was an absolute delight, she was sure her and Genki would have gotten along swimmingly. Maybe next time Kankuro visits town she can talk him into signing up for a playdate with Karin and little Hana.
"Oh, Itachi, I didn't expect you over. Are your parents coming home today or are they staying there with Sasuke?" Karin asks, coming to pick up Hana who sticks her tongue out at Sakura and Sakura sticks hers out in turn. Karin watches in amusement and notes that Itachi was mirroring her own sentiment. Sakura was great with kids.
"Yes, they are staying there with Sasuke. I was actually coming by to pick up some of their things and some of Sasuke's." Itachi completely looks over Sakura and it stings a little, but she reminds herself that he is going through a lot. They would have their time eventually. Just not now. She could wait, she just hoped she was waiting for the right thing.
"Of course, let me just give Hana her food and then I will go find Sasuke's stuff while you grab your parents," she smiles and Sakura watches her head to the dining room.
She loved what the Uchiha's did with her old house, but she felt a sense of yearning for what it was before. Sakura missed when it was her home and her safe space though she was the one who decided to leave it behind first. She couldn't fault her mother for not wanting to stay in an empty house all the time, Sakura was losing her mind in her own apartment.
"Thank you," Itachi nods at Karin and he disappears up the stairs and into the direction Sakura assumed his parents had claimed as their room.
It was odd, seeing him be so at home in what used to be her home.
Despite Karin's and Mikoto's insistence, Sakura only stayed that night. She didn't want to impose any further than she already had and she felt uncomfortable. She found herself at the beach again, this time closer to the water.
She had a small stick in her hand, drawing shapes in the sand, with the water only a couple feet away. Sakura felt comfortable here. The water couldn't touch her but she could enjoy the breeze, the smell, and sound of it all. It was perfect.
She was so focused in her drawing that she hadn't realized someone coming towards her until they were already sat down next to her, almost sitting on her drawing. Looking over, she raises an eyebrow at the way Itachi was staring at her drawing.
"Is that.. A pig with wings?" He asks, looking bewildered when Sakura gives him a glare and quickly covers the drawing up with sand. She huffs and crosses her arms.
"It was obviously a pelican."
"Ah, I see," Itachi hums and somehow she hates the way he said that more than his incorrect guess.
"Whatever, you don't understand art." She decides to focus on the water and she hears him laugh. "What is so funny?" She raises an eyebrow at him and he shakes his head.
"Sasori and Deidara, they can argue for hours over what they think true art is," he says and allows a small smile to cover his face. It wasn't very big, but it was genuine, and that was enough for Sakura to crank out her own smile, too.
"I believe it." Sakura says and shakes her head. She figured that must have been at least one of the reasons Deidara was always coming out of his apartment so late at night during his visits. Though, she had a couple of other guesses, too.
They sit there, much like how they used to, just enjoying each other's company.
They were sitting close enough that their pinkies were touching, but neither moved away or closer. They were just simply being and that was enough for them. Sometimes the silent companionship was enough. It was just like old times. Sakura couldn't help the soft smile that was showing as she overlooked the ocean.
"I'm a little surprised to see you down here," Itachi finally says.
"I missed it," Sakura answers and she looks at him out of the sides of her eyes. I missed this, she thought internally. "The ocean used to be my biggest comfort and I think that it is about time that I give into my desire just a little, from a safe distance." She felt that way about more than one thing, though. She hadn't told him anything when she left for the city. He could have very well thought she left just because of the ocean. Maybe that was why he was still so willing to talk to her.
"I missed you," he said so quietly that she thought she must have misheard him or imagined it. He wasn't looking at her, but he was staring out at the ocean. His face was serene and he had looked the calmest that he has since they heard about Sasuke. She was happy that he was feeling so calm despite the array of emotions she was battling in her own chest.
Her heart felt like it was about to leap out of her like one of those frogs Naruto kept as a kid.
She didn't know how to respond. She missed him, but what if that wasn't what he said? What if he was talking about the beach and the ocean? What if, what if…?
"Your face looks funny when you overthink," Itachi hums. "Your nose scrunches up and so do your eyebrows, it's amusing in a cute way."
She splutters and turns to him sharply, ready to smack his arm, when her breath catches cause he is giving her a full smile. Any smart ass comment that she was thinking about saying went right out the window along with any coherent thought that she ever hoped to string together. He watches her in amusement and she eventually snaps out of it, glaring at him and sticking her tongue out at him, acting every bit immature for her age. He just rolls his eyes.
They still hadn't talked.
Not about that night or about what happened at the wedding.
Chewing on her lip, she leans forwards and hugs her knees as she stares out at the water. It was beautiful. It was starting to get darker outside and she knew that sunset was coming soon. She missed being able to see sunsets and sunrises against the waterline. It used to be her favorite pastime. Used to. Just like how she used to not know how to answer Itachi's and Gaara's questions.
"No," she answers after a moment and catches his attention. He looks at her, confusion written clearly on his face, and it almost looks wrong for him to be that expressive but also so right. As he was about to question what she meant, she clarified: "No, I don't love him."
And that was enough of an answer for him.