UPSTEAD IS ENGAGED!

Y'all I still have not completely processed Wednesday night. I don't know if I ever will. But the one thing. I know is many stories will be headed your way. I have returned to writing fluff to cope with the chaos of the season. So, I hope you enjoy that!

Title from "Grows Old" by Thirdstory

Everything about this morning feels so incredibly familiar yet brand new.

Hailey feels Jay's arms slowly wrap around her torso just like they have every morning before today. She feels his lips slowly ghost over her ear, whispering "Good morning" before he kisses her neck and turns her around in his arms to see her and kiss her good morning properly. It's all familiar, comforting, safe.

"Morning," Hailey hums sleepily, repositioning herself so her head is resting on his shoulder and she is gazing at him. His arms wrap securely around her back, holding her chest against his.

"You're smiling."

It feels familiar - the safety and the happiness - but it also feels new, with the added feeling of forever and the memories of last night running through her head.

"Yeah, well-" Hailey draws out. "Lots of reasons to smile today."

"Oh yeah?" He raises his eyebrow knowingly. "And what might those be...fiancé?"

The way he emphasizes the word, the way his eyes light up when he says it, it all makes her smile and she leans forward to kiss him, humming happily against his lips.

"We're getting married," Hailey breathes out in disbelief.

"We are...you are gonna be Hailey Halstead."

"I'm sorry, what?" Hailey giggles, face scrunching up happily. "When did I agree to this?"

His sweet smile turns to a smirk and she anticipates his teasing before the words even leave his mouth. "Last night if I remember correctly."

"Who said you're not taking my name? Jay Upton sounds good too."

"I'm old-fashioned, remember?" He jokes before his eyes turn soft and he whispers, "Hailey, I don't care who takes what last name or if we don't even do that or if we do some long hyphenated thing. I just care that I am marrying you."

"We really are getting married," Hailey smiles at the thought. "Like this isn't a dream."

"You've had dreams of us getting married?" It's not so much teasing, more so an honest, maybe even hopeful question. And she thinks she gets it. Because it's been a hope of hers too longer than she can explain.

"Maybe once or twice," Hailey whispers, nodding lightly against Jay's shoulder.

"Me too...definitely have thought about you in a white dress a few times."

It sends a warm feeling through her chest, the fact that he wants this too. Hailey does not think she will ever get over the fact that he loves her or that he wants her. And now that he wants forever too, it's simply amazing.

"You know..." Hailey's finger starts absentmindedly connecting the dots of his freckles along his chest. "We could just go to the courthouse. Skip the whole big party and just get married in jeans and a t-shirt. We'd be married way sooner."

He smiles and lets out a little laugh. "As tempting as that is...I wanna do this right. I wanna give you everything."

"Jay," she lifts her head up a little to look at him better, hand raising from his chest to brush against his jaw. "I already have everything I need."

"I know," he whispers. "But I love you. And I want to make you happy."

"Okay," Hailey nods, lowering her hand back down to his chest. 'Something small then."

"Deal," Jay agrees. "And we need to get you a ring."

"What?" Hailey whispers quietly, looking up from the nonsensical patterns she is drawing against on Jay's chest.

"An engagement ring," he chuckles. "Normally, you would have that before the proposal but since you had to go and steal my thunder-"

"Hey," she swats lightly against his chest, and he takes the opportunity to grab her hand and tug her a little closer.

They're already close, her head on his chest and her body pressed up against his under the thin sheets of their bed. They have not moved from this spot since last night when they wound up here after his proposal. As soon as Hailey whispered "yes", Jay was on his feet, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her fiercely, Hailey raising herself up on her tiptoes to meet him halfway.

It was not long before she was completely in his arms and he was lifting her onto the counter, all whispers of "I love you" and soft giggles as he peeled off her green jacket and she started to unbutton his dress shirt.

"We're getting married," she breathes out against his kiss as he gently sets her onto the counter, her hands gravitating towards the top buttons of his shirt.

"I know. Say it again."

"Yes," she whispers, not even needing to ask what he means. "Yes, I'll marry you. I love you."

"Hailey," he moans out softly as he kisses her. "I love you. More than you'll ever know."

She silences him with a kiss, pushing him forward slightly as she tries to unbutton his shirt. Between their hurried kisses, she fails to get the button undone one, two, three times and laughs quietly against his lips. He pulls back, just an inch, shooting a questioning look at her. She smiles, kissing his cheek and then his jaw as she continues to work at the button.

"Did you plan on proposing tonight or something?" She mumbles against his neck as she kisses a trail along his skin. "You got all dressed up. This is a nice shirt. Way too many buttons but it's nice."

"I wasn't not planning on it. Figured I should be prepared just in case."

"And the whisky?"

He pulls back and she laughs quietly as she scans him, shirt only halfway buttoned and newly wrinkled, his pupils blown almost as wide as his smile.

"It's the thing that works, you know?"

She rolls her eyes but kisses him again, finishing her mission of unbuttoning his shirt and shucking it off, letting the black fabric fall onto the floor.

"Hey," he clicks his tongue. "That's a nice shirt."

The mocking tone is evident, and he cocks a confident little smile at her. His hands are at her waist, toying with the hem of her own shirt, hands slowly starting to lift it up.

"Well, now it's a nice shirt on the floor."

Now, it's his turn to roll his eyes. He lifts her shirt over her head, Hailey happily helping, and as soon as he has the thin t-shirt in his hand, he pulls her close and kisses her slow.

"You're lucky I love you. You know that?" He murmurs.

"Yeah," Hailey whispers between kisses. "I am. And I'm lucky I'm marrying you."

Lucky doesn't even begin to describe it. No matter how hard Hailey thinks, she can't find a word in the English dictionary that describes how truly blessed she is to have him.

And then his mouth opens against hers and she stops thinking about words and just focuses on him. Her safety, her one good thing.

Her fiancé.

Hailey never thought she'd get engaged, throwing away dreams of a white wedding and diamond rings years ago. If there was one thing that her parents taught her, it's that marriages are a sham, a signed piece of paper riddled with lies and pain.

But here Hailey is, engaged and ridiculously happy. And as her partner lets his hands trail down from her waist underneath her, murmuring "up" against her lips, steadying her against him as he picks her up off the counter and starts walking towards the bedroom, all she can think is maybe her parents were wrong.

"You were taking too long, Halstead," Hailey whispers, tapping at his chest again when he releases her hand. "Figured I would help you out."

Jay laughs, a sweet and soft sound, but there is no argument from him. He simply leans forward and presses a long, slow kiss to her forehead. Hailey hums at the feeling, closing her eyes and wishing that she could live here forever.

"I like that you always make the first move," he whispers. "It's sexy."

Hailey squints her eyes, slightly confused but still happy, breathing out a laugh. Jay clocks her confusion and smiles as he readjusts her in his arms so her head is resting on his chest again.

"You're always way braver than I am about these things," Jay explains. "Like how you told me you had feelings first. Back at the bar."

The bar. It feels like lifetimes ago but somehow it has not even been a full year. She remembers having a terrified feeling in the pit of her stomach as she thought she might lose him. He might tell her to go to New York, he might not feel the same, he might not want to risk their partnership.

But she didn't lose him. She walked out of the bar with him that night, her hand firmly clasped in his, and as soon as they were out in the cold Chicago air, he tugged her back towards him and crashed his lips into hers.

"Just so we are clear, it's been a long time for me too," Jay leans back and rests his forehead on hers. He's breathless, maybe from the cold or maybe from the kiss, and it's such a strange sight for her partner but Hailey thinks she quite likes it.

"Yeah?" She whispers in disbelief as if the kiss they shared in the bar and the one they shared just now are not enough proof.

But his eyes go soft, and he must get it, the fear that this is not real, that it's too good to be true. So, he drops her hand and cups her cheek, his thumb brushing against her skin. "Yeah. It's been a very long time since I saw you as just my partner."

It's Hailey who initiates the kiss this time, raising herself up on her tiptoes and surprising him as she presses her lips to his, but he happily complies. Jay chuckles against her lips as he lets the hand that was cupping her cheek travel to her neck, the other moving to her back to hold her close.

She doesn't know how they make it back to the truck, but they do. It's all stolen kisses and stumbling footsteps, quiet laughter and nervous glances. It feels so natural and it feels good, safe even. It feels like the thing she has wanted for a long time.

He takes them back to her place, his hand in hers the whole drive home and the whole walk up to her apartment. The only time his hand lets go of hers that night is when he uses it to cup her cheek, to trace the curve of her back, to explore her body, to make her fall apart underneath him.

And even afterward, as they lay there in the quiet afterglow, her hand securely in his, Hailey thinks it should feel strange and awkward, but it doesn't. It feels right.

Like this was always how the story was supposed to go.

That fear that she felt back in the bar feels eerily similar to the fear she felt the day she proposed only this time, it was heightened. It was an overwhelming fear that she would lose Jay. Either to a bullet or a kidnapping or even her own actions.

But she didn't.

This time she didn't go home with him because they were already home, together. This time it did not end with a last first kiss, but it ended with a promise of forever. This time, she found out she would never lose him.

"About that," Hailey says slowly. Jay's eyebrows immediately shoot up in question and Hailey has to bite her lip to suppress the growing smile at his reaction.

"You wanna change what you said at the bar?" Jay asks. "Because I hate to break it to you, Hailey, but it's a little late for that."

"Never," her answer is quick, definite. "It's just…"

He sees the hesitancy in her eyes because he kisses her gently, squeezing her hip as he does so. "Whatever it is, you can say it. I promise."

Hailey nods against his chest, sucking in a deep breath before she says, "You said it's been years."

By the look in his eyes, he knows immediately what she is referring to and he breaks into a small dopey smile as his eyes light up. "Yeah...it has been."

"When?" Hailey asks quietly. "When did you know?"

"That I loved you?" He says. "Or that I wanted to marry you?"

'Either...both?"

Jay laughs at her nervousness. For a moment, he's quiet, clearly thinking, his hand rubbing mindlessly at her back.

"I can't remember a single moment where I first knew I loved you," he starts quietly. "I think it just happened. It was around when you convinced me to go to therapy. I just thought about how no one had ever cared about me like that...but I was so scared to love someone like that again that I kept trying to convince myself that I didn't have feelings for you...it didn't work."

She giggles softly at his words and the fake annoyance in his tone, and he smiles down at her with all that boyish charm that she loves. "I'd apologize for that but-"

"Anyway," he ignores her teasing, but he pinches lightly at her side, letting her know he appreciates it. "It was around the time that I found out that you were with Adam that I knew I was pretty far gone for you."

"That is a long time ago," Hailey hums. "And the whole marriage thing?"

"Remember when I picked you up from the airport when you came home from New York?"

Hailey nods silently, thinking back to the day, how excited she was to be back home, to be back with Jay, where she belonged.

"That's when I knew."

"Jay," Hailey laughs. "We weren't even together yet."

"So? I still knew. I saw you for the first time in six weeks and I realized that I never wanted to spend another day without you."

Hailey has no words in response. Not when he loves her like this like she is the most precious thing in his world. As she feels the tears start to form in her eyes, Hailey pushes herself up and kisses him, pouring everything she can't find the words to say into the kiss. She swings her leg over him until she is completely laying on his chest and she kisses him with reckless abandon.

It makes her think of that first kiss, how it felt like finally and how she secretly prayed she could have that feeling for the rest of her life. And now here she is, ready to marry him, and his kiss feels like forever.

"In the bar," Hailey breathes out when she leans back. "When you kissed me for the first time."

"What?"

"That's when I knew," she clarifies in a soft whisper. "That's when I knew I was going to marry you one day."

For a while, she thought maybe, possibly, she could be lucky enough to marry her best friend. But good things like that did not happen to Hailey Upton and she convinced herself that their friendship was going to be as far as they would get.

And she was okay with that for so long. Because as long as she had him in some way shape or form, she was happy.

But then he kissed her in a bar, and he taught her that love is not this terrible painful thing. He rewrote her fears, and he gave new life to her dreams and he made her see that good things could happen to her.

Jay did not just show Hailey that good things could happen to her. He was her good thing, her safe thing. And now, he is her forever, her future, her everything.

"You were right," Jay brushes some hair out of her face and then lets his hand cup her cheek. "And I can't wait to marry you, Hailey."

"I can't wait either."

She kisses him again, slower this time because there is no rush. Not when they have forever. He'll be by her side, always, through everything, just like she has dreamed of for so long. The idea of always coming home to him, always knowing that he will be there on the good days and bad, it's overwhelmingly wonderful in so many ways.

It's a new chapter, a good chapter, and she's so ready to start it all with him.

Reviews?

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