Sam and the Librarian – Chapter 4
Dinner goes well. The brothers still bicker and trade insults, but after a couple of beers they mellow out. After I fill them with tacos, they groan and stagger to the couch. We collapse together and watch old episodes of Star Trek. Dean only makes it halfway through the second one before he drifts off, and Sam joins him right after that. I slip out from between them and cover them each with a couch quilt that barely covers half of their enormous frames. I make a mental note to tease Sam about hanging around Dean so people will mistake him for normal-sized.
Morning's the normal rush, but with pancakes and bacon.
"Did either of you sleep?" I ask.
"Of course." Dean replies around a mouthful of bacon. He takes a long pull on his coffee and smiles. "Got a full six hours."
"Six hours!? Are you getting old, Dean?" Sam teases. His sunny smile makes me want to scratch him behind the ears and kiss him breathless.
Dean rolls his eyes. "Says the crazy person who got up and went for a run, in the snow, at six in the morning."
My mouth falls open and I stare at Sam in shock. "Wow, that's, uh, that's dedication." He blushes. It's astonishing. One minute I'm lusting after my new friend, and the next he's re-written my DNA. I don't just want to screw his brains out; I want to share his thoughts and feelings about everything. Craptastic.
Dean and Sam follow me in their car to the library. I do wonder how I'm going to fit Sam in my Mini's passenger seat at the end of the day, but decide to worry about that later.
When we reach the library, I hop out of my car and hurry over to say goodbye to Dean. "Come on, get out so I can hug you."
He sighs, but obliges me. "You know, we've only known each other one day, and it's my brother you're supposed to have a crush on." He whispers in my ear.
"Who says I don't?" I smile at him when he leans back. "I can like you too, can't I? Besides, maybe I'm greedy and one day wasn't enough?" With one more squeeze to his ribs I release him. "I know you won't be careful, but will you try to be less reckless?"
"How do you know I'm reckless?"
"I'm intuitive. You like to go fast, and this car likes to go fast."
He laughs. "Ok, that's fair. I promise, I'll keep my eyes open wide."
"Cool, because while I can handle a week of foster care, I don't think I'm ready for a full adoption." I look over his shoulder at Sam. Dean grins and then puts on what I know is his profoundly serious adult face, and turns to his brother.
"Now behave yourself for the nice lady. If she tells you it's time for bed, don't argue. Don't embarrass me, we may need her to babysit again."
Sam looks between us, I can see the scorn building behind his eyes, but then they gleam with a wicked light. "Aw geez, Dean. I'm a big boy now. I haven't broken anything in for-EV-er." He pitches his voice high and draws out the whine better than any brat I've ever heard.
They share a look that I can't interpret.
"Bitch." Dean gets in the car.
"Jerk." Sam replies.
Thursday night Sam and I make pizza. He calls Dean, puts him on speaker, and we update him on our progress while bragging about our dinner. He praises us for getting halfway through copying, and suggests a bad and uncomfortable thing we can do with our pizza.
Afterwards, we sit on the couch and watch Aliens. Sam makes it almost twenty minutes into the movie before he loses it, and begins critiquing the science. It's an indication of how far gone I am that I find this behavior charming instead of irritating. I make a mental note to watch Fast and the Furious with Dean the first chance I get.
When we go to bed I can't resist hugging him and thanking him for the day. He smiles, ducking his head to look at me through the hair that falls across his forehead. Then he bends and kisses me. My toes curl inside my socks. I want nothing more than to drag him to my bed and ride him all night long. When we come up for air I stare into his eyes, trying to see what he's feeling. He must be a marvelous poker player, because I read nothing more than interest in his expression.
"Want you B." He breathes against my lips and goes in for a second kiss. Oh man he feels good. His skin is warm and soft, but his muscles are hard underneath.
I push at those marvelous shoulders. "Sam, no, we can't." The first step away from him is like dragging myself away from a giant piece of cheesecake. "You're- I mean, crap. Look, I like you a LOT, ok? And you-you're, shit, you're sex on legs, and I-I-I love everything about you, but-"
He closes the distance; stopping me from turning into a babbling idiot, and puts a finger under my chin. "But what? Seriously B, I've never had so much fun making copies with someone in my life."
I squeeze his fingers together. "That's just it. We're working together." I meet his eyes again. "I don't sleep with co-workers even if it's temporary. Besides, this time next week, you'll be gone. No matter how much my body wants yours, my heart couldn't take that." He looks like a kicked puppy, and I want to punch myself.
"Ok, yeah, I get that." Oh man, the male ego, such a fragile thing. He hangs his head and pulls away, turning to the guest room. He works a pout better than a teenager.
"Sam stop." He does and I plant myself in front of him. "Don't send me on a guilt trip, I'm not Dean. I didn't say no because I don't want you, I said no because I've got to do my job. If I sleep with you I won't be able to think about anything else! Hell, I can barely work with you now!"
He laughs. "Me? You're talking about me right? The over-sized nerd freak who's obsessed with Demon books. Seriously?"
"Oh, my Goddess! You're exactly the right size to be Sam. I wouldn't change one thing about you! Well, I'd like it if you'd stop biting your nails, because it's bad for your teeth, but we can't have everything can we?" He looks at me like I'm crazy, and I smile back. "As for your interest in old demon books, Hello, librarian here! Why would I ever be bothered by someone being obsessed with books?"
"I don't think the book part bothers you, it's the demon part I'm worried about."
I laugh. "The vast majority of old books that need preserving are occult books! All the regular stuff like philosophy, religion, or science is either reprinted, well-preserved, or discarded as being obsolete. Occult books are shoved into boxes and hidden in old storerooms, but never thrown away. Librarians can't stop being descended from Puritans, can't bring themselves to look at the books, but they're books, so they can't make themselves throw them out either."
Sam sighs through his nose and his mouth thins. It's similar to his pouty face and a trickle of ice crawls down my spine at the same time that heat blooms in my belly. Lust I can handle, but if I find his bitch face endearing, I'm falling in love with him, and I need to run. Of course, I don't do that.
"Tell me why I should be worried about the demon part Sam."
He takes my hand and leads me to the hallway bench. "The stories about demons are not just about being possessed, right?" I nod and he continues. "They're also about making deals with demons – usually the person trades their soul for wealth or power, but sometimes, it's for another person."
"What? Trade your soul for another person? That doesn't make any sense."
"I mean sometimes the deal is done to save another person, like if they have cancer."
I nod, still wondering what this has to do with books about demons…oh. Wait a minute…"
"I can't believe I'm telling you this when we barely know each other, but it's for Dean. You see, in 1983, when I was six months old, a demon came into my nursery and murdered my mom…"
Somehow I've kept my mouth shut during his entire story. I can't process what he's said. My own brain is a minefield. I feel the need for a white board and an entire set of dry erase markers. For the first time in two weeks, I'm in Sam's presence and don't feel the least bit lustful.
I climb to my feet and pace back and forth down the hall. Oh, this is rich. I've met the perfect guy – gorgeous, intelligent, sweet, polite, funny – if someone gave me a 500-page catalog filled with men, and I could choose whichever one I wanted, I would choose Sam.
Except he's crazy.
Or, heaven help me, he's not.
That's the rub, right there. If he's crazy, then I get him some help. Maybe it's even sort of a comfort; this is a much more realistic romantic scenario for me anyway. He's handsome, wonderful, and totally fucking insane. It makes much more sense than six and a half feet of prince charming being interested in me and being well-adjusted.
I stop in front of him, and he looks up at me from underneath those long eyelashes and messy hair, and I want to punch him and jump his bones.
"Have you sought professional help yet?"
"I'm not crazy B. Not only will Dean and Bobby confirm my story, but I know half a dozen other hunters who will confirm it as well." He thinks about that for a moment, "Well, not my story exactly, but the existence of demons and other monsters, yes."
"Fine, call Dean right now."
"B, he needs to sleep-"
"You just told me that monsters, including demons, are real. You say Dean will confirm your story, but I can't call him because he needs to sleep? How do I sleep tonight with you in the house? You might decide I'm possessed and try to kill me!"
"Never!" He jerks to his feet, "B I would never, ever hurt-"
"Ok! Then dial, Sam."
He puts on the thin-lipped pissy face that I still find cute (damn him), and dials the number. When I hear it start ringing, I take it out of his hand. Before he can take it back, Dean answers.
"Hey! Sammy! I didn't think you'd call so soon. I thought you'd be-"
"Still closing the deal?" I ask.
"B? What are you doing with Sam's phone? Is he okay?!"
I don't need to ask my questions. The tone of his voice answers it for me. Even with their extra close relationship, no brother in a normal world would ask if his giant younger brother was ok with that amount of fear in his voice. Shit.
"He's fine Dean. He's standing right here. I've got a question for you."
"Um, ok, ask away, I'm an open book."
"Fabulous. Are demons real?"
He sighs, and after a pregnant pause replies, "Yes. Everything is. Ghosts, werewolves, vampires, and a steaming pile of other crazy things."
"So last year, did Sam die?"
"Yes."
"For how long?"
"About three hours."
"And then?"
"And then…I drove to a crossroads, summoned a demon, and exchanged my soul for one year of life and Sam's life. Before you ask, Bobby is here with me in the motel. Bobby is-"
"I know who Bobby is, Sam included him in his story, and wait…In the MOTEL!?"
"Yeah. He came here to help with research. Sam's supposed to get you to let him in the storeroom with those other books, find if there is anything in there to help me get out of my deal, borrow it, and Bobby and I would look through the books before Sam returned them."
"While romancing me into not noticing what you guys were up to."
"No! B, Sam would never do that!"
"Uh-huh. Come over here and get your brother." I turn back to glare at Sam. "He'll be out front with his stuff in – how long will it take you to get here?"
Dean sighs, "About 15 minutes."
"Great, he'll be waiting out front." I close the phone, lay it on the bench, go into my room, and shut the door.
Sam pounds on the door, "B, it's not like that! I swear. Please baby I didn't want to-" I jerk the door open.
"Didn't want to what? Tell me the truth? You don't want me to be angry that you guys lied to me? Or pissed off that you were going to ruin my career by romancing me to steal books!? And Oh My God, did you just call me baby? Are you fucking kidding me?" I stand with my legs spread wide, and fold my arms over my chest. "Get the fuck out of my house!" I add the death glare I learned from Catholic school nuns.
He stares at me in shock. "You really think I'm some-"
"I don't know what to think!" Heat grows behind my eyes. Fuck. I turn away so I don't angry-cry in front of him. "I need you to leave right now." He growls and swears under his breath before stomping away. When the front door slams, I close my bedroom door and go cry in the shower.