We leave the circle cleanup for tomorrow, and instead head to a bar-b-que place I know. Not wanting to be out in public at the present, we take the food back to my house. In spite of the overt terror we all just experienced, or maybe because of it, the guys fall on the food like starving wolves. My own appetite leaves something to be desired. I still feel like I'm in the uncanny valley. As soon as I can I slip out to my back deck. It's snowing lightly and I watch flakes land on the dark sleeve of my coat before sliding off to the ground. It's mundane enough that I feel comforted.

When long arms slide around me and a heavy chin settles on my head I don't say anything, just wrap my arms over his.

"This is your thing, huh? Standing outside in the cold?"

"Normally, the solitude is worth it." I snuggle back against his chest. "Besides, not really cold with you at my back."

"It's ok that I came out here then?"

"Very ok."

He chuckles and kisses the top of my head. "You saved Dean from his deal today B." He squeezes me tighter for a moment. "In the most crazy, reckless, risky way I can think of, but you saved him." There's an edge of anger to his voice and I turn in his arms to look up at him.

"More reckless than summoning the oldest demon in existence, pissing her off and then jumping into a trap with her to try and kill her with a knife?"

"We do know what we're doing B. We're professionals."

And just like flipping a switch, I'm angry. Damn him for dragging me out of my cocoon again! "Not anymore! No more of this running around fighting monsters and f-fucking demons and oh dear God!" I'm about to go off on him, tear him a new one, scream until I can't talk for a week. He's just going to have to take his medicine like a big boy. "What the FUCK were you thinking? You all kept telling me that trap would hold her, but I could feel it the minute she appeared. She was playing with us! Don't tell me you didn't know because I know you did."

"Of course I did! What else were we supposed to do B!? You're the one that jumped in, and freaking fangirled her!"

"Better than sacrificing yourself! It was the only thing I could think of to do to save you!

Jesus she was going to turn you two into puddles of goo!"

"Then why are you yelling at me?"

"Because I'm still terrified!" That's the truth. I'm not angry at all. I did the craziest, stupidest thing I've ever done, and it worked.

Holy crap.

I thought I was numb again, but no, I'm still terrified and I'm blaming Sam and Dean for that. In the face of that realization, everything lets go then and he catches me as my knees let go. I sob into his chest as he rocks me and strokes my hair.

"It's ok now Baby, you're safe. You did it, you saved him – us – whatever. I've got you, you're fine." He keeps whispering endearments and reassurances like that, until my sobs die down and I'm calm.

"Here." He hands me an old-fashioned, honest to God handkerchief. I wipe my eyes and blow my nose. "Better now?" He asks. When I nod he sighs, "Good because my knees are killing me." I laugh and stand, watching him climb painfully to his feet, but when I move to take a step back he's not having it, and pulls me in tight.

"What are you guys doing out here, it's fucking freezing!" Dean declares, coming to stand beside us. When I look up at him he sees my ugly-cry face and sighs. "Oh B, sweetheart." He puts his arms around both me and Sam, and squeezes us tightly. "You can't believe it's real yet, right?" He leans back and tilts his head.

"Right."

"Me either. It's just how I felt after we killed Azazel. The only difference is that there's no new, uh, boss fight to take its place. We won!" He says this to reassure me, but all at once he blinks, looks at Sam, then me, then back at Sam.

"Sammy, we're free…" Something lights up inside of Dean that I didn't know was there. Before this I would have described him as a bright light in a dark world, but now he's so light it looks like he's going to float up into the sky. He laughs in delight, grabs me from Sam and swings me around. Which is how we end up on our asses in the snow laughing like madmen.

"What're you three idjits doin' out here? Trying to get pneumonia?" Bobby throws the door open to get our attention, but it does nothing to stop the meltdown.

I look at Dean who sputters, then at Sam, who is trying mightily to compose himself, but I grin at him, and he loses it, throwing his head back to laugh as though he's never laughed before. That sets Dean and I off again. Bobby retreats into the house supposedly in disgust, but with a smile hiding in his beard. Sam holds out his hands to me. I grab them and he pulls me up right. Then he does the same for Dean and we hug again before trooping inside.

As I kick off my boots and hang up my coat, I glance at Mrs. S. For the thousandth time today, she surprises me by winking. I take a seat across from her. "So now what Master Jedi? Am I no longer an apprentice?"

"You better qualify as a knight by now." Dean sits on my left.

"If today didn't count as passing the trials, I don't know what would." Sam sits on my right and hands me a beer. Depending on how you look at it, I'm trapped or protected by two solid walls of plaid flannel.

"I agree." She says, "And now that you're a knight, I have an assignment for you…and your two apprentices." Mrs. S waves her teacup at Sam and Dean.

"Now hang on. I'm not an apprentice anything." Dean glares at Mrs. S. "I've been in this game for 20 years!" Then he grumbles, "Besides, we're not supposed to hunt monsters anymore. We can't be a part of any fighting."

"You can do what Mr. Singer does, only on a much larger scale, hopefully."

I roll my eyes. "Don't be cryptic Mrs. S. Bobby's a hunter."

"No. He provides research, that's his greatest contribution." She smiles at Bobby in such a way that I wonder what they've been getting up to, and whether or not that's tea in her teacup.

"Ok, sure." Sam leans forward, "We can help Bobby with research, we've done it before, but how can we amp that up? There's only so much information available."

"By finding the MoL's knowledge repository."

"Nu-uh. You said that all burned up the night of the initiation." Dean raises an eyebrow.

"The chapterhouse burned, but the MoLs had hidden storage and research facilities all over the country."

"So you want us to solve the fifty-year-old mystery of the chapter house fire." I conclude.

"You want us to solve your father's murder." Sam adds.

"Not just my father's murder, I'm not the only one who lost family that night." She bends to the side and lifts up her substantial purse and pulls out a leather-bound book. Undoing the clasp that holds it closed, she pulls out an old newspaper clipping and hands it to Bobby. "Please read aloud the names of those who died in the fire, if you would, Mr. Singer."

Bobby scans the article until he finds what she's asking for. At the end of the list of names he pauses before reading the last name. "Henry Winchester."

Sam's hand clutches at mine. It hurts, but I don't say anything. I'm too busy watching his face. "T-that's the name of our grandfather." My mouth falls open.

"We can't be sure it was him, there's lots of Winchesters in this country." Dean shakes his head.

"But it might be! Dean, we have to find out!" Sam shouts.

Dean sighs. "I know. Even if it's not our grandfather, we gotta find out what happened to the MoL, and Mrs. S's dad.

Sam nods, "We've got work to do."