"I still can't believe they closed the Lima Bean."
"Well, I mean it never really closed. They just kind of turned it into an upscale hipster juice bar one night," Kurt explained, holding the glass door open for Blaine as they entered the mutually agreed on café – Evelyn's. It was halfway between Lima and Findlay, so it seemed a fair compromise for the men to meet there. It was a quaint place with warm maroon walls, with golden yellow accents. The furniture was very rustic chic – nothing like the stark white, modern, upscale cafes in New York Kurt had grown so accustom to.
Kurt still wasn't sure how he felt about this. After the wedding Kurt had done a great deal of thinking, and an even greater deal of talking to Rachel. His conclusion was that he needed to just forget about anything that happened (or didn't happen). He was worried seeing Blaine wouldn't facilitate this plan. Upon first glance, though, Kurt felt slight relief. Looking at Blaine standing outside the café waiting for him didn't affect Kurt at all. Always a stickler for fashion, Kurt couldn't help but notice that Blaine was looking a little unkempt. His curls were not nearly as tamed as that night, and his face was looking awfully scruffy. His coat looked like it needed to be laundered, and his jeans didn't fit quite right. He didn't look bad… but Kurt just didn't get the same feeling he got when he first saw Blaine at the wedding. That definitely benefited Kurt's mission – maybe Blaine could have just been any guy in a tux that night.
"I never understood juice bars," Blaine commented as they walked up to the counter, bringing Kurt back to reality. "I mean… who really wants spinach in their smoothies?" Kurt couldn't help but laugh at the comment, and the look of pure disgust on Blaine's face. It was the same one from years ago, and Kurt found comfort in the familiarity. Not too much comfort – but enough, he was sure, to get through their little get together without a hitch.
Kurt inhaled the aroma of coffee and baked goods and smiled contently as he made eye contact with the barista. "I'll have…. You know what… what the heck, it's almost Christmas. I'll try the egg nog latte. No whip. And a blueberry scone."
"Make that two," Blaine agreed, eyeing up the pastries from behind their glass container. "And a medium drip."
"Seriously?" Kurt asked with a slight laugh and a questioning look. The barista turned around to get to work on their orders.
"What?" Blaine asked, hazel eyes gleaming with concern, as if he had done something wrong.
"10 years, and you haven't explored any further than drip coffee?" Kurt asked with a laugh, a look of slight disbelief on his face. He wasn't totally surprised, he supposed. People had their orders, and if you stuck with one long enough, it was almost heresy to change. When Kurt went to New York, he had an entire new world of flavors presented to him, and he went wild. It seemed like Blaine never quite evolved from his high school order.
"What can I say?" Blaine asked with a shrug. "I'm a simple man," he joked, accepting the scones that the barista handed to him in a brown paper bag. He handed the barista a five, insisting he keep the change. Kurt followed suit. They found a nice little corner booth with a window, allowing them to people watch in this town neither knew too well. They settled in, and took off their winter coats and hats, and each eagerly bit into the flaky scones they'd purchased.
"So, I guess you had a babysitter today?" Kurt noted, breaking off a piece of the pastry, and popping it in his mouth effortlessly.
"Yeah. I was supposed to work but… things got shifted around last minute," Blaine explained with a shrug, some crumbs falling from his mouth and onto his green Henley tee. Kurt had forgotten what a messy eater the man could be. He pointed to the corner of his own mouth, gesturing to Blaine that he had a blueberry stuck to his bottom lip. Blaine's eyes widened, embarrassed, as he wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Sorry. I get my eating skills from my kid."
Kurt chuckled slightly. There was just a moment of silence beyond the comment. Kurt still wasn't sure how to talk about Mackenzie. Without alcohol in his system, it felt so odd to casually accept that his ex-boyfriend had a daughter. Luckily, though, there were other topics to talk about. "So… you know we talked a lot about me at the wedding. I didn't even manage to catch what you've been up to. What kind of job do you work anyway?" Kurt asked, just before taking a sip of the drink he'd ordered.
"Uhm… well…" Blaine started slowly, seemingly hesitant at first. Kurt's brow furrowed slightly at this, but retracted once the man across the table began to explain. "Well I've been an Office Clerk in a small company for a while now. Essentially it's just a fancy title for a secretary. But… you know it doesn't quite pay the bills. So I pick up some shifts at a diner on the weekends, and three nights a week I'm a janitor at Kenzie's school which helps pay her tuition."
"Oh wow," Kurt said, not meaning to sound as shocked as he did. He immediately felt remorse for his tone, and gave Blaine an apologetic look.
"It's fine," Blaine insisted, waving it off. "You know… I just do what I have to do." He shrugged like it was nothing. The last thing Kurt wanted was for Blaine to feel like he was just being pitied. Kurt had been in that position before. He'd worked food service for a while in New York, and remembered the looks he got when he explained to people he was just waiting for his opportunity to come. He could only imagine he was making Blaine feel the same way.
His curiosity was piqued, though. None of these jobs sounded remotely like the Blaine Anderson Kurt knew. "I thought you went to school for music, though," he noted. Even though they'd broken up, Kurt heard through the grapevine that Blaine had elected to attend the University of Michigan for music and performance. That sounded like Blaine Anderson. Blaine Anderson was meant to be a Broadway star, not some low-level white collar worker.
"I didn't finish school," Blaine admitted as if it were nothing. Kurt gave him a shocked look though, urging the man to continue. "Well Mackenzie was born what would have been the August of my senior year," Blaine pointed out. Kurt's gaze turned to an understanding one. He felt silly for not putting that one together on his own.
"I'm sorry, I'm really steering this conversation down bad paths huh?" Kurt apologized, realizing that he must really be making Blaine feel awful.
"There's nothing to be sorry about, Kurt," Blaine said with a laugh. Kurt was confused as to why Blaine was laughing, as if he didn't mind at all. But… apparently he didn't mind at all. "We came here to catch up, remember? This is my life. And if I wasn't happy with it, then I'd change it. Would I love to work less? Of course. But then my daughter wouldn't have all the amazing things I want to provide for her. So it's worth it." Kurt nodded slowly, taking in what Blaine had just said. It was poignant. But Kurt still felt disbelief in where Blaine was at in his life. In his eyes, this man should be on Broadway, or working on his second studio album by now. But instead, he was stuck in Ohio working a desk job. And a food service job. And a janitorial job. And he had a daughter.
Right. Mackenzie. That was why Blaine didn't finish school. And didn't get his dream job. But he was still happy. Quite happy, it seemed. "Really Kurt, it's fine," Blaine insisted when Kurt still didn't respond. "My life… it's really different then what I thought it would be in high school. But plans change. And honestly… I wouldn't change much about my life right now. I have my daughter, and we're happy, and that's what's most important."
"That's… incredible Blaine. Really," Kurt said honestly. He still felt a bit of discomfort, though he wasn't completely sure why. He shouldn't. He didn't want to pity Blaine. He didn't think what he was feeling was pity anyway. There was still sadness stemming from somewhere, though. "Let's just… change the subject for my sake though. You've successfully reverted me back to a socially inept High School Freshman."
"Alright," Blaine said with a laugh, accepting Kurt's suggestion without question or comment. "Let's talk about the fact that your dad is a mall Santa," Blaine offered cheekily.
Kurt rolled his eyes, "Oh my god Blaine, I never hear the end of it." Blaine laughed as Kurt went on, telling him stories about how Burt and Carole come home every weekend gushing about the children and their wishes and the Christmas spirit. "It's exhausting for me, honestly." Blaine rolled his eyes just slightly, but kept a smile on his face. "They both adored Mackenzie," Kurt mentioned. "Carole said you've raised a perfectly polite little girl."
"You'll have to thank them for me. I think this is the first Christmas Kenz really understands the concept of Santa and Christmas, and it's all so magical for her. The fact that Carole knew her name when she was waiting to see Santa… that made it crazy real," Blaine explained, smiling as he looked back to the way her daughter beamed at Mrs. Clause. "She's super excited for Christmas… I just wish I had more in store for her to look forward to."
"What do you mean?" Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well usually we go to Sam's for Christmas Eve, but he's on his honeymoon," Blaine noted.
"Yeah so that's out of the question," Kurt agreed, obviously.
Blaine laughed and nodded. "Yeah. Luckily he lent me his car though, so I should be able to think of something to do or somewhere special to take her," Blaine continued, gesturing to the car he'd parked right outside.
Kurt looked at the black sedan. He'd simply assumed it was Blaine's. Apparently Blaine didn't have a car of his own, then. That wasn't so crazy to Kurt of course. No one in New York had cars. Except the man lived in Ohio – one of the most boring states in existence. He wondered how Blaine survived without being able to travel out of his town's limits. "Well you at least have Christmas morning with your family, right?" Kurt offered, remembering that the Anderson's had a very traditional Christmas breakfast every year. They went to church and dressed to the nines for a sit down meal in their formal dining room. Kurt remembered Blaine always talking about the tradition with a lot of fondness, despite the overly formal and religious nature of it all.
"Well… not exactly," Blaine stated, his face for the first time looking slightly uncomfortable. "My parents separated about six years ago," Blaine explained, eyes turning to his coffee mug as he nodded subtly to himself.
"Oh my god, Blaine. I'm so sorry," Kurt said, absolutely shocked at the news. The Andersons had always seemed to be this picture perfect family – a doting mother and strong, stoic father. Two boys who were always expected to be perfect gentlemen, and were. They had a big house, and despite their disagreements and differences, always seemed to come together in a loving way.
"It was for the best," Blaine said definitively, looking back up at Kurt. There was hurt in his voice, though. "My parents… they loved each other but… once I was out of the house there wasn't anything holding them together anymore. They just kind of… drifted. They never divorced, though. We still spent Christmas together" Kurt nodded, taking it in, still shocked. "But… my dad is actually spending Christmas in Arizona. With his girlfriend. Who we believe is older than me, but younger than Cooper."
Kurt almost choked on his latte. He covered his mouth, and muffled his outburst of laughter as fast as he could. There was just a moment of silence and heavy eye contact, before Blaine burst out laughing, and Kurt allowed himself to let go as well, wiping down the table with a napkin where he'd spilled a bit of his drink.
"Yeah. It's… it's been a time for my family, to say the least," Blaine noted with a chuckle. Kurt could only imagine. He'd, of course, been through his own family drama from a very young age. He'd never dealt with divorce though. His home was always loving and together – sometimes overly so. "So my mom… being my mom… decided that if dad gets to go have fun, then so does she. And she booked a singles cruise through the Caribbean for the holidays."
"Blaine, I'm sorry, but this is just…" Kurt trailed off, trying to think of the perfect word to express his amusement without offending his old friend.
"Hilarious?" Blaine asked. Kurt just nodded, and softly laughed in response. "Yeah, I mean… it's complicated and emotional but… sometimes taking a step back and really looking at the situation… there isn't anything you can do but laugh."
"Well at least you can do that! I'm not sure I'd be strong enough to," Kurt noted, thinking about how he'd possibly react to being in that situation. It was hard to do, seeing as his father was so incredibly devoted to his mother, and now Carole. The Andersons apparently had a very different relationship than Kurt had perceived.
"Yeah so… Coop is staying out in LA for Christmas this year. I actually think he's going to propose to his girlfriend. He has tried to do it on three separate occasions now, but chickened out. I keep telling him that he's not getting any younger, and that 35 is the new 40. I don't think it's helped."
"You don't say," Kurt quipped, but he couldn't help but laugh at the brothers' dynamic. He knew that Blaine and Cooper had a slightly strained relationship in the past. Clearly they'd moved beyond that, though. It made Kurt miss Finn, honestly. Even though they'd been brothers for such a short time… it was undeniable that the relationship was something special. "I can't picture Cooper settling down," Kurt admitted.
"I couldn't either at first. But he's been with his girlfriend – Toni – for… god… three and a half years? And that's record smashing for him," Blaine explained, clearly shocked himself that his brother had held on to the woman for that long. "He's head over heels, really. It's sweet."
"Good for him," Kurt said, a pit forming in his stomach that he'd grown too used to. It came whenever there was wedding talk. Or talk of love in general. He tried to ignore it. "I can't believe everyone is starting to get married," he said with a sigh, stirring what remained in his mug somewhat aimlessly. Kurt could tell Blaine wasn't sure what to say. Surely he remembered that Kurt was on the fence about his own fiancé. It was still hard for Kurt to sort out his feelings on the matter. It took a few seconds of silence for either man to pipe up once more.
"So what's Rachel been up to?" Blaine finally asked, and Kurt welcomed the drastic change of subject with open arms. Once they got past the hard stuff, talking to Blaine really wasn't any different than it had been in the past. Kurt couldn't deny there was a comfort level between him and Blaine he hadn't expected. He supposed they both had plenty of time to lament on their past, and had grown enough to not harp on it all.
The next hour and a half seemed to fly by. Kurt didn't remember laughing so much in ages, especially since James moved out. It was nice to have company outside of his coworkers and Rachel for once. It was nice to take a step away from New York and forget about all the stress he'd been under. Blaine told him stories about Mackenzie, and Cooper, and Sam and Brielle. Kurt shared stories about Rachel and working at Vogue, and even a few about James. They reminisced on their high school days, and the dumb stuff they used to do as a couple, and complained about how much more complicated dating was outside of high school. And when the conversation dulled down, nearly two hours had passed.
"Wow… I should really get going," Blaine said, after glancing down at his watch. "I told the babysitter I'd be home… ten minutes from now. And it's about a twenty minute drive."
"Oh geeze, sorry for keeping you!" Kurt said frantically, taking their trash and cups quickly to dispose of them or return them to the barista.
"Oh it's fine," Blaine said, waving Kurt off with his hand, and producing a phone from his pocket. It was then Kurt noticed something strange – Blaine had a flip phone. It was straight out of the nineties, with a chucky front screen, and a classic 12 button dialing system. It definitely wasn't what Kurt remembered Blaine having at the wedding. "I'll just shoot her a text that things ran over a little."
"Where the hell did you dig up that relic?" Kurt asked, as he tossed the trash in a nearby bin and gestured to the fossil in Blaine's hand.
It took Blaine just a second to realize what Kurt was talking about. "Oh… this…" Blaine said, a bit of disappointment in his voice. "I uh… work gave me a smartphone, but… I was having some problems so I'm on this pay-as-you-go phone for now."
"Gotchya," Kurt said, turning to give the mugs back to the barista. By the time he'd done so, Blaine was up from the booth and waiting at the door. Kurt smiled as Blaine opened the door, gesturing for Kurt to slip out into the cold first. Kurt adjusted his scarf as he took a step through the threshold into the late December air. "Well Blaine… honestly this was great," Kurt said, subtly admitting he had his doubts at first.
"It was," Blaine agreed with a warm smile. "It's been really great seeing you again Kurt. I'm so proud of everything you've done for yourself."
Kurt smiled sheepishly, and adjusted his scarf again, trying to stay humble. "I don't think what I do can compare to you with Mackenzie…" Kurt said honestly. Blaine just shrugged. Kurt still couldn't quite wrap his head around the fact that Blaine was a dad, and his entire life was dictated by a tiny girl with blonde curls and the same hazel eyes. In fact, it had Kurt thinking that he really REALLY wasn't ready for kids. Looking at the sacrifices Blaine made was confirmation of Kurt's fears. He wasn't prepared to put his life on hold for a child. Not now. Maybe not ever. He was still awed by Blaine and his dedication, though.
There were a few awkward seconds where the men simply stood in front of the café, hands in their pockets, trying to figure out exactly how to leave things. "Well…" Blaine finally uttered, taking his hands out of his pockets, and raising them slightly – subtly offering a hug. Kurt's face melted into a smile, and closed the distance between them. The hug was short, but warm and strong and sincere. "I guess… I'll see you when I see you," Blaine said with a shrug.
Kurts face fell a bit, realizing that this really was going to be it. After New Year's, Kurt was going back to New York. "Yeah… I guess so," he agreed softly, taking a step away from Blaine. "It was really great seeing you, Blaine," Kurt said with as much sincerity as he could muster as a frigid breeze came over them.
"You too, Kurt," Blaine agreed as he took a step to the driver's side door of the car he'd arrived in. He opened it manually, and started to slip in when Kurt stopped him.
"Blaine, wait," Kurt said impulsively, taking a step toward the black sedan that wasn't Blaine's. He wasn't sure why he was about to say what was on the tip of his tongue, but it felt like the right thing to do. He felt it in the pit of his stomach. Blaine's eyes shot back up to Kurt, causing the taller man to pause just momentarily. After taking a deep breath, Kurt just came out with it. "You and Mackenzie should come over for Christmas…. If you want," Kurt added quickly, not wanting the invitation to come across as a demand. "I mean… Burt and Carole are really excited about the possibility of having a kid in the house for Christmas. So you really are more than welcome. We're making honey baked ham."
Blaine laughed, relaxing as he realized Kurt felt just as awkward about the prospect as he did. "I'll… I'll think about it Kurt," he offered. "I don't want to impose."
"You wouldn't be," Kurt promised, tucking his hands back in his pockets. "Carole, especially, really wants you to come over. She's been dropping hints for me to text you about it pretty constantly."
Blaine chuckled, and shook his head, thinking that Carole Hudson-Hummel was crazy. But a saint. "Alright. I'll really think about it. I'll ask Mackenzie what she wants, too. And I'll let you know by… tomorrow night?"
"Perfect," Kurt said with a nod as Blaine proceeded to get into his car. "Keep in touch, Blaine," Kurt noted before the door close. Blaine smiled through the windshield, and gave Kurt a quick thumbs up before turning on the engine. Kurt took this as a signal to scurry over to his dad's car, and turn it on to crank up the heat. He hoped Blaine actually did consider his offer. Blaine's Christmas did sound like it would be a little lonely. And nobody deserved that.
Kurt found himself smiling and singing to the radio the whole drive back to Lima. It had been a while since he'd had that pleasant of a morning.