"I still can't believe you're actually leaving," Sam said, gloved hands stuffed into his coat pockets. Blaine sighed - he could hardly believe it either. He and Mackenzie were moving from their quaint Ohio apartment to New York City with his ex-boyfriend and his fiancé. It certainly was not an ideal situation. Not by a long shot. But it was the best option to guarantee Mackenzie could continue her treatment for Juvenile Arthritis. It was the only option where Blaine could see potential for his independence in a relatively short amount of time.
"What else could I have done Sam?" Blaine asked, trying hard not to sound so unsure or disappointed. Blaine checked his watch quickly before stuffing his own hands back in his pockets on the particularly cold morning. The train he and Kenzie were scheduled to be on was running late – probably because of the awful cold and snow that had plagued the great lakes region recently. With every minute that passed, he was finding it harder to rationalize the goodbyes. "This is the best option for us. You know that."
"You know you could have stayed with us," Brielle offered, holding a bundled up Mackenzie close in her arms. Mackenzie's arms were wrapped tight around the woman's neck. It had been hard for Blaine to explain to his daughter that they were moving. That they weren't coming back to Ohio any time soon. That the small moving truck they'd sent out to New York a few days earlier was taking their things to their new home. That she had to say goodbye to Grandma and Uncle Sam and Auntie Bri – at least for now. Blaine still wasn't positive the little girl understood completely, but the way she was clinging to her Aunt told him that she wasn't planning on leaving without a fight.
"In what extra room? And with what job?" Blaine asked. They'd had this conversation. Brielle and Sam had tried to come up with a million and one options to keep Blaine in Ohio, but when he was told he'd be given his position back without question, he knew this is what he'd have to do. "And when you're done nursing school in May, who knows where you'll end up Bri. You guys will be moving to Columbus at the very least. Probably farther. You're going to be an amazing nurse and they're going to want you at the best hospitals. I know you're not going to want to work at the Findlay Ohio minute clinic."
"I know… I'm just gonna miss you guys," Brielle sighed, pulling Mackenzie even closer to her. Sam took a step closer to his wife and wrapped an arm around her. Blaine could see the tears forming in Bri's eyes, and he begged for them not to fall, because the moment they did, he'd be crying too.
"We'll come back for your graduation Bri – it isn't too long."
"And we'll visit in August for Mackenzie's birthday," Sam added, smiling down at his wife and niece, trying to add reassurance for the girls. "Maybe sooner, if we can swing it," Sam said, smiling up at Blaine, his own eyes welling up a bit.
Blaine looked down at his watch again – anything to look away from the teary eyes of his comrades. He had to hold it together for Mackenzie – anything to make it easier for her. As he covered his watch with his coat sleeve again, an alarm started sounding, signaling the incoming train. And at that, Brielle lost it, tears now streaming down her face freely as she squeezed Mackenzie one last time.
Blaine stepped toward the two and joined in the hug, his own tears finally making their way to his cheeks. The man felt a strong hand on his shoulder, and turned to see Sam looking at him sadly. Blaine let go of Brielle, and pulled the tall blonde into a bone crushing embrace. Blaine realized in that moment this would be the first time since high school that he wouldn't see Sam on a near daily basis. That was scary. "I love you, man," Sam said, matching the strength of Blaine's hug.
"I love you too, Sam," Blaine agreed, finally loosening his grip, and wiping away his tears with the back of his glove. The train screeched to a hault and the doors opened for passengers to flow in and out.
"It's time to go," Blaine said definitely, a sad sort of smile on his face. It was sad to leave, but he was happy and confident with his decision.
"Daddy I don't wanna go!" Mackenzie whined, and only then did Blaine realize his daughter had been crying too. It was hard to see with her face buried in Brielle's neck, but now it was obvious.
"Kenz, we have to. It's going to be an exciting adventure and we're going to have so much fun with Mr. Kurt in New York," Blaine said, shifting so he could look the little girl in the eyes.
"No daddy no! I wanna stay with Aunt Bri and Uncle Sam!" she cried, clinging to the former's neck again.
"Kenzie," Brielle said through her tears as she tried to put the child down, "You can't let your daddy go to New York alone. He needs you."
"But I need you!" Mackenzie argued, pulling away for only a second.
"ALL ABOARD!"
"Mackenzie, we're going to miss the train," Blaine pleaded, as he noticed the crowd entering the train thinning out. "We have to go," he said gently, reaching for her hand.
"NO!" Mackenzie yelled.
Blaine hated having to be forceful with her daughter but now was one of those times where it was called for. "Ok… Kenz," he said, bending down and practically prying his daughter from Brielle. "Kenzie, we're going," he said firmly, hoisting the sobbing child into his arms. She responded initially by kicking and trying to push away, but when she realized she wasn't going to win, she simply went limp in his arms, and cried into Blaine's shoulder.
Blaine sighed. "I love you guys," he said one last time to Sam and Brielle, who were trying to stop crying to show Mackenzie it was ok, but failing pretty significantly.
"We love you too," the two said in unison.
Blaine smiled, and grabbed the large rolling luggage with Mackenzie's backpack set on top, both packed to the brim with all they had left in Ohio. Kenzie continued to sob as they stepped onto the train, and the conductor gave Blaine a judgmental look. Blaine ignored it. If the woman wanted to try and get his daughter to stop crying, she'd be more than welcome.
He turned the corner, and tried to place Mackenzie in the nearest seat of the sleeper car, but now she was clinging to Blaine, refusing to let go as if her life depended on Blaine. "Mackenzie I need to put our luggage away," Blaine pleaded. Mackenzie only responded by tightening her grip and continuing to cry.
"Fine" Blaine grumbled, accepting defeat for the moment, and shifting into the furthest seat, and pulling the luggage in after him so it wasn't in the isle. As the engine of the train kicked on, he looked out the window to see Sam and Brielle watching on and waving goodbye. Blaine returned the wave, and a smile as the train pulled out of the station.
When the couple was out of view, Blaine took his first deep breath since entering the train, and slumped in his seat. The train was warm, at least, and there weren't a ton of people in his cabin just yet. It was probably a little too warm for their winter coats, but Mackenzie was still attached tightly to her father's neck.
Blaine rubbed his daughters back gently, trying desperately to calm her down if only to disturb as few of their neighbors as possible. They'd be with these individuals for over 15 hours. He didn't want to make any enemies. "Mackenzie could you please calm down? Please?" Blaine begged. "I want to take your coat off baby," he urged, trying to get the little girl off of him for even just a moment.
"I…don't….wanna….go…" Mackenzie started between staggered breaths.
"I know Kenzie. I know. But we have to, and everything is going to be fine. And we're going to have tons of fun in New York. And you'll make new friends at your new school."
"I…don't…want… NEW friends," Mackenzie argued, finally loosening her grip just enough so Blaine could help her out of her coat so she didn't overheat. Blaine took the opportunity to unzip his own coat as well.
"Oh Mackenzie," Blaine sighed, setting the little girl's coat aside, and taking the opportunity to pull her close to him. She understood more than he had thought. He rocked her back and forth in his arms as she cried, humming softly in an attempt to get her to settle, since words clearly weren't working.
Blaine didn't expect Mackenzie to understand, and he couldn't be too angry that she was upset. This was a big change for a four year old. Though he was sure that the little girl would be over it in a weeks' time, at the moment it seemed like she'd never stop crying. Blaine ignored the conductor's gaze as he came around for tickets. He just handed him the slip of paper and allowed him to go on his way.
Just 15 more hours…
From the Text Messaging Archives of Blaine Anderson
Saturday, January 9th, 2021
10:27 am
Kurt: Hey, just checking in. The moving van just left and all your stuff is in the guest room. How's everything going on your end?
Blaine: We're still about an hour outside of Pittsburgh. A little slow because of the snow.
Kurt: That's not too bad though. Still think you'll make it in before midnight? :P
Blaine: God, I hope so. 10 pm is already too late for Kenzie
Kurt: It'll be fine. Just let me know if you get any more delayed. I'll meet you at Penn Station when you get here.
Blaine: You don't need to do that.
Kurt: So you're going to carry your most likely sleeping daughter and your luggage to the subway and then 5 blocks to the apartment building on your own?
Blaine: Good point. Thanks, Kurt.
Kurt: It's not a problem, Blaine.
Blaine: Well, it's not going to stop me from feeling like I'm taking advantage.
Blaine: I'm moving in with you and your fiancé for god's sake.
Kurt: Just me, actually. For now, at least.
Blaine: Oh?
Kurt: Yeah, it's a little bit of a long story. But you know we spent some time apart over the holidays. We kind of just extended it a bit.
Blaine: Really? I thought you said things were looking up.
Kurt: Yeah they were. They still are. He's just…a little miffed. We had another little fight recently.
Kurt: It's not a big deal, though.
Blaine: Well I hope things work out soon.
Kurt: Me too.
Kurt: Text me when you're getting close. I'll see you later.
Mackenzie had cried herself to sleep pretty early on in their journey. While Blaine hated to see her do so, he was content that the sobs had stopped. Her hazel eyes started fluttering open just as the train hit the edge of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Blaine had managed to shift her into the empty seat, molding their coats into a makeshift pillow and blanket to keep her comfortable while he stowed the luggage away properly and settled into the aisle seat with a book. Blaine looked over out of the corner of his eye as the little blond propped herself up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
Blaine closed his book, and tucked it into the mesh pouch on the back of the seat in front of him. "Good morning sleepy head," he said as Mackenzie's eyes scanned her surroundings, apparently a little confused. She grunted, and turned her back from her father, still a little angry, apparently. Blaine rolled his eyes, leaving the child be to stew if she wanted.
He watched as the little girl turned to look out the window at the buildings they were passing at a rapid pace. In the distance, the downtown high-rises sprung from the ground, and it was at the sight of them that Mackenzie finally seemed willing to speak to her dad.
"Daddy," she asked curiously, "Is that New York?" She prodded the window with her index finger, leaving little smudges in her wake as she pointed toward the skyline.
"No, sweetheart, this is Pittsburg. It's a different city." Blaine explained.
"Oh…" Mackenzie replied, gaze still out toward the buildings. Her eyes seemed to glisten with wonder and awe as they continued in toward the center of town, over one of the many bridges that Pittsburgh boasted, and toward the skyscrapers. It was in this moment Blaine realized that these were easily the tallest buildings Mackenzie had ever seen. The only city they'd really visited was Toledo where the tallest building was only about half the size of some of Pittsburg's tallest. And the number of buildings were many more than the little girl had ever seen.
"Do you like all the buildings, Kenz?" Blaine asked, scooting himself over into Mackenzie's seat and pulling her into his lap. She nodded, and pressed her nose up to the window again as they started to descend underground.
"Hey!" the child whined, "I was lookin' at everythin'" Blaine chuckled as she huffed and plopped herself into his lap.
"We're just stopping at the train station," Blaine explained as he ran a hand through his daughter's unruly curls. "We'll be back outside in no time. But we won't be in the city for long." Mackenzie turned to look at her father with a slightly pained expression. "But there's a lot of things to see, you know. We're going to go through mountains and see farms and see another city called Philadelphia."
"Do they got big buildin's too?" Mackenzie asked.
"Yup," Blaine promised. "But you know where the biggest buildings are?" Mackenzie shook her head no. "New York!"
"Really?" Mackenzie asked, not quite believing what her father had promised – in fact probably not believing that buildings would go any taller than the ones she'd just seen.
"Really really," Blaine promised. "New York had HUGE buildings. And tons of yellow taxi cars," he added, hoping that Mackenzie's favorite color would excite her a bit about the overwhelming city they were headed toward. It would be better for her to be excited than scared.
Mackenzie hummed in response, as if still unsure, looking back out the window as the train came to a stop and passengers started flowing into and out of the train. Blaine continued to play with her hair and watched the people as well, slightly envious that their journey was over while he still had hours to go – now with the added challenge of entertaining a four year old.
"Daddy I don't wanna live up there," Mackenzie said definitively, referring back to the buildings she had seen.
"Oh baby," Blaine said with a chuckle. "Kurt lives on the seventh floor of his building. That isn't tall at all. You can count to seven, can't you?"
"Of course!" Mackenzie said, offended that he father even imply she couldn't. "One… two… free…"
"Three," Blaine corrected.
"That's what I said! Free," Mackenzie argued, holding up four fingers. Blaine shook his head as the train started moving again and Mackenzie started over, getting her numbers mixed up and ending up with 10 fingers when she reached seven. Blaine smiled though, and kissed his daughter's forehead while she counted, thankful that she was done crying and screaming.
And as it turned out, entertaining Mackenzie throughout the trip wasn't nearly as hard as Blaine thought. She spent a large majority of the time with her face pressed up to the window, and pointing at all the things she had never seen before – like the mountains they'd passed through, and the cows at the farms near Hershey Pennsylvania. She'd fallen asleep again at some point through the journey, excited to have woken up in time to see Philadelphia in the distance (though she had a hell of a time pronouncing it).
They were nearing New York, and Blaine had shot a text Kurt's way to let him know. Kenzie was actually wide awake, likely due to the naps she had taken throughout the trip. Her were still glued to whatever was outside the window. Blaine made a mental note to try and travel more. He suddenly felt like he had been depriving Mackenzie of seeing what's out in the world. And the wonder she clearly had for it was something he'd never considered she'd have.
She was a bit disappointed when they went underground before she could get a good look at the city. They'd seen the sky scrapers in the distance, but at night is was hard to tell exactly how big everything was. She was amused by the graffiti on the underground walls, however, and excited that they'd be getting off the train soon.
"You ready squirt?" Blaine asked as he put Mackenzie's coat back on, the train slowing to a stop as it entered the station.
"Mhmm," Mackenzie hummed, pulling her backpack filled with toys and coloring books onto her shoulders. "Are you ready dad?"
Blaine stopped, thinking about it for a moment. Was he actually ready? Probably not. How is anyone ready to move from the middle of nowhere Ohio to New York City with their four year old daughter to live with their high school ex-boyfriend and a fiancé they'd never met? "Daddy?"
Blaine looked down at his daughter as people rushed out of the train, taking the moment to let the craziness pass them before they tried to leave. He smiled at her innocent eyes and the way she clutched Bear – her stuffed puppy – in her arms. This was why he was doing this. Her. It was all the reason he needed, and her face gave him all the courage in the world. "Ready," he agreed. He stood and took his luggage from the rack, reaching out to take Mackenzie's hand tightly as they exited the train and made their way along with the crowd up the escalator to where they were to meet Kurt.
He squeezed his daughter's hand as they neared the top. He was ready as he'd ever be, and as long as he had Mackenzie, everything would be ok.