Joke. Laugh. Lie. Gets people every time.
Joke. You'd think that we know what we're doing, we know what reprocussions head our way if we fail, if we're found out without backups in place. That we'd have plans in place for the chance that things would go wrong, right?
Laugh. We're fools. All of us. We're all absolute fools to think that things would go smoothly, that nothing could possibly go wrong. Schrodinger proved, well she proves that. We don't have functioning plans in place for when, not if things go wrong. It would be wrong to say that I'm any better than them at this stage, but I'd like to think that I'm in the best place to make those backups.
Lie. Shame that this involves deviating off plan, but it's for the best. It's for the best. Sure, I'm still folling the plans we made - where we all become upstanding members of society that lawfully change things for the better. Upstanding member of society. As if the world wasn't as corrupt as it is. I will forgive them though, they are in areas well described to have lower crime rates, that they forget that canon said that the rest of the world has a crime rate of 20%.
20%! Fucking hell!
No, that's fine. Everything is perfectly fine. Things can change. Things will change. Let's just ignore the fact that back home has a crime rate of about 5%! Fuck, I just fucking can't. At least, at least… I can… persuade people that… there are better things to do.
Gets people every time. This is for the best. This is for the best. I'm still becoming a Lawyer, I'm still upholding the law. However that thing is defined here, at least.
This is for the best.
[Sorites]; And that's when I said that "Yes, my hair does look like a bunch of curly fries, but does that change your life in any meaningful way?" And they died. I died.
[Schrodinger]; Ah, but you survived, didn't you?
[Sorites]; Yes- Schrodinger! I'm supposed to be the Memelord here!
[Abilene]; Yes, dears, you're both beautiful. But we all know the true memelord here.
[Sorites]; Well, we all know it's not you.
[Abilene]; Of course not. It's our resident "totally responsible adult" Bhartrhari!
[Sorites]; Alkdalskdjlkfjsjdf- pfft. What about our resident "mom"s; Observer and Zeno?
[Schrodinger]; Observer needs to eat a snickers before he's ever considered a memelord. Besides, I totally agree with Abilene on Bhartrhari. That man cracking a joke kills me everytime. Every. Single. Time.
[Abilene]; You say that like I've left the building. I'm right here.
[Schrodinger]; You're in Spain. You've totally left the building. You've left the building so hard you landed in another continent, on a whole 'nother landmass.
[Sorites]; Stooopppp, you're killing me, pls. I was the one telling the joke here!
[Schrodinger]; You wanna hear about Bhartrhari being the eldritch meme he is?
[Sorites]; Yes. I cravvee.
[Schrodinger]; So I was hanging around his place, helping out, and I walk around the corner to this man sayin, "One does not simply" and he stops, turns around to face me, where I'm already trying not to die at that moment and continues with "walk away." And so now I'm torn, cause on one hand, I need to leave the room to go die in peace but on the other hand I want some more stories of Bhartrhari being an eldritch meme, so of course I stayed.
[Sorites]; Omfg. That exchange program was a wonderful idea.
[Schrodinger]; I know, right?
[Abilene]; Wait, wait, why were you at Bhartrhari's, anyways?
[Schrodinger]; You think Zeno wants to hang out? Forget about Observer.
[Abilene]; Ahh, yesss. Anyways, I have an absolutely fantastic idea. No sarcasm there whatsoever.
[Sorites]; Hmm? And what is this oh so fabulous idea that could surely do no harm?
[Abilene]; We all go to Observer's house and T-pose at him to assert our dominance, of course. Or, you know, just some good ol' chanting at three am in unison.
[Sorites]; Macarena Flash Mob.
[Schrodinger]; You think enough people will recognize the Macarena?
[Sorties]; C'mon, it's a cult classic.
[Schrodinger]; Pfft, all go to Observer's house at three am and surround him doing the Macarena.
[Abilene]; Absolutely nothing could possibly go wrong here, of course.
[Schrodinger]; Nothing at all.
[Zeno]; What's this about the macarena?
[Schrodinger]; Wanna help me find Observer's house so we can do the macarena in front of it at three am, balls early in the morning?
[Zeno]; You know what, with all the bullshit I've had to deal with lately, sure. Place and time.
[Schrodinger]; Ah shit, I don't know Observer's house!
[Zeno]; What a shame. Pity we're all out of luck then. Truly a shame.
[Schrodinger]; Pity that. If only…
[Zeno]; Anyways, it's time to look at colleges…
[Abilene]; Personally, I'd say stick to Japan. Love to have ya here, but I probably should've looked elsewhere for college. Say what you want, but ahhh I should've tried to join one of you guys.
[Sorites]; So no college meme brigade? Ahhhhh! *yeets mental link* *breaks skateboard*
[Schrodinger]; You have a skateboard?
[Sorites]; Yes. I totally have a skateboard.
[Zeno]; Children…
[Abilene]; Yes mom?
[Zeno]; Ahsadhkjsdfhwefj! I swear, you children will kill me someday.
[Sorites]; Yes, we know you can say fuck.
[Schrodinger]; Just remember not to say it around the green bean. We need to keep his innocence.
[Sorites]; What innocence? He hangs out around Katsuki Bakugou.
[Zeno]; Pfft.
[Schrodinger]; Good going, you've ruined a perfectly good Zeno. Now it's laughing.
[Zeno]; I can laugh!
[Schrodinger]; Uh huh. I believe you.
[Abilene]; Now, now. Let's not make mom yell at us again, she needs a break. Now, how are you doing Schrodinger?
[Zeno] For the last time! Stop calling me mom!
[Schrodinger]; Nah, you're too much of a mom. Besides, it's not like anything's changed since last time so I'm good.
[Sorites]; Don't you need to look at college?
[Schrodinger]; Shit.
[Abilene]; Kek. Suffer.
[Schodinger]; Pardon me while I scream unintelligently at Abilene in the comfort of my own room.
[Abilene]; Sweet, sweet revenge.
Ahh, I swear I need a better sleep schedule than this. The life of a college student is wonderful. Definitely not the fact I skipped a grade and thus coffee tastes horrid. Oh well, there's always Red Bull.
Having to go to a Denny's parking lot at 2am to meet a… friend is always a good idea, right? Nothing bad could come of this. Nothing at all. It's for the best. I really didn't think he'd take me seriously, but my man's got no chill and said that that time doesn't have any possible conflicts.
It's for the best, right?
At Denny's, I see Amon resting against a wall, manilla folder in hand. Dude, the only way you look more suspicious is by wearing a trenchcoat. At least he's wearing random civilian clothes. Looks like a gay disaster, but hey, we're european so it makes sense.
Walking over, Amon looks up to see me. "Abilene?"
"Amon." I nod. "How's your blanket holding up?"
"Not well. Need to switch it out soon or it'll rip." Handing over the folder, Amon scratches his head. "Hope that I don't need to do it tomorrow. Yours?"
"Better than yesterday, that's for sure. Washed it out and now it's going fine." I smile, and he nods. "I'll send you where I got them from." He shakes his head, smiling.
We talk for a little while longer before parting, the folder now in a case to be given to Rais later. Ah, what a pain that turned out to be. Now I need to tell Halder and Fallon to put together a task force to grab the local Maldice cell in the next two days. Infighting, huh?
Heading home, I pull out my phone and look at some of the new files I was sent. Huh, Amon can be put on official papers now as an Underground Officer instead of me needing to vouch for him. He'll appreciate that, right?
A back road here, a cut through there, and I'm home - no people to… redirect elsewhere. Redirect? I'm not doing anything wrong here. Falling into bed, I set an alarm for 6am. Need to do things tomorrow, so that means getting up early. Why couldn't the locals work together more? I just wanna get a few more hours of sleep.
This is such a pain.