A/N: Greeting, all! First off, thank you thank you thank you for all of the lovely comments. You blew me away, and definitely put me in a better mood. I'm glad you reading my Alt-fic helps as much as my writing it does for me. :)

And as I'm still upset that I never got my dose of solid Halstead Brothers content, here, have some brotherly angst. *hides behind table*

Chapter 7: Brothers

It had been an intense few hours for Will, he knew it, but he wasn't ready to face the inevitable crash that was careening toward him. Maybe if he closed his eyes. He tried that and quickly realized he couldn't get past all that he felt, hoping, wondering, praying for his brother to be okay.

Oh, God. Jay.

Flashes of Jay being rushed through the ED hit him without warning. Images of his brother on the OR table, all too pale, with puddles of blood staining the floor. His medical knowledge and understandings of the situation made things worse and he had a hard time not thinking of all that could go wrong and how it could go wrong. He couldn't deal with what such a short amount of time had given him, and now his mind and body were paying the price for it.

He felt as though he had run a marathon at a million miles an hour. And while that analogy made little sense if spoken aloud, it was an accurate description to how he felt on the inside. The tiredness was well past his muscles and sat deep in his bones, draining. He's seen life fade from people who died before his eyes, and he couldn't help but wonder if that feeling was the same as this. He wondered if this was what Jay was fighting against since that woman tried to kill him just hours ago.

Had it only been hours since the detective, covered in blood, was wheeled through the very emergency department where Will worked?

When was the last time he talked to Jay? Actually talked to him?

When was the last time they hung out? Or had a conversation about normal life, not a case or patient or some other nonsense?

Guilt filled his stomach as he realized that he didn't have an answer to any of those simple questions. Will just wasn't sure of anything anymore, and that scared him.

After bouncing between trying, and failing, to be there for Jay as a doctor, he turned his attention to being there for him as a brother. He made the mistake of watching the surgery, and paid for it when Jay's vitals tanked before his very tired eyes. No one should witness something so horrible, and yet, Will placed himself front and center.

Things seemed to be better once Jay was placed in an ICU room after surgery, though he slipped into a coma as his body fought to endure the trauma that it was put through. He was stable, recovering. Then he just… wasn't.

Jay just had to give everyone a heart attack when his stats dropped without warning. There was bleeding in his chest near the artery that was damaged and just like that, he was back under the knife. Or maybe it was his lungs that caused more problems because they took him off of the vent too early. Either way, Will had a hard time keeping the facts Marcel told him straight in his head, but he managed to do just that when he gave Intelligence updates. He owed them that much.

But now that he was alone?

While the Halstead brothers didn't talk very often, Will quickly caught on that Jay and his partner, Hailey, were close. He could only assume but just how close remained to be seen. Was a repeat of what happened with Erin on the horizon? Will didn't think he could stand to watch Jay to go through that kind of pain again.

Regardless of what may or may not happen, Will gave the other detective some space to visit Jay by herself. Goodwin was nice and told him to take whatever time he needed off, so he could be there for his brother and whatever outcome may follow, to which he took without hesitation.

But actually leaving Med turned out to be harder than he thought it would be. Deep down, he didn't want to leave Jay. He didn't want to face a repeat of what happened with their dad. Will knew he wouldn't be able to face that if it happened. Which is why it basically took the entire ED staff to get him to go home. Once he was out of the hospital, once he was home…

Will lost it.

He threw his bag across the room. A ceramic lamp was clipped and went crashing down to the ground, shattering upon impact. Anything Will could get his hands on was fair game; dishes, pieces of furniture, fruit he probably wasn't going to eat anyway. A mug one of his one night stands gave him left a hole in the wall by the TV. It had a stethoscope on it. He didn't care. Will only slowed when he grabbed a picture off the wall, stopping short of throwing it at the window.

It was one some random person took of them at a Cubs game not long after he'd arrived back in Chicago, what, decades ago? No, that was impossible, but the feeling remained the same. They were smiling, clad in Cubs gear, with empty cups of beer or whatever that drank that evening still in their hands as they seemingly toasted the air itself. Jay had a goofy grin on his face and Will wasn't even looking at the camera. His head was tilted back as he laughed, probably at some lame joke Jay told.

Jay insisted on getting it framed for them both, to which Will objected. A bet was made, more alcohol was consumed and ultimately, the younger Halstead lost. And the rest was history.

Damn, Will thought. Oh, how he wished he could remember more of that night. He wished he and Jay hung out more, but their respective schedules made that nearly impossible. He wished Jay wasn't so caring, and he wished Jay didn't have such a big heart, and he wished Jay wasn't fighting to survive and he wished more and more, but nothing changed.

Will sighed, set the photo on the counter amongst the mess he just made, walked to his room and disregarded the glass that crunched beneath his shoes.

Although he was ready to go back to the hospital after he showered and changed out of his scrubs, Will forced himself to wait a little while longer. Out of respect? Maybe. He wasn't ready to fully chalk it up to that just yet, but he did want to give Hailey the time she needed and wanted, if only slightly at this point. There was no way to predict the outcome surrounding Jay, which scared him the longer he thought about it. If this was the end, God forbid, she deserved it.

The mess he made was staring back at him, taunting him with a silence that was deafening. When his heart began to race in a panic over all that had happened so far, Will soon found himself sitting in a corner by his bedroom window. He ran his hands through his hair, then down his face, before they fell to the floor with a muted thud.

Chicago life was still bustling at this point. Cars drove by, and Will could easily imagine where those people were going, unaware of what he was going through. He would be out there, living life, had this been a normal day, but it was. Not even a little bit.

Only a couple of minutes had passed before Will's panic began to subside, but that anxiety was still present as he grabbed his wallet and a jacket from the back of a chair. He walked through his mess once more, went through his cabinets and drawers as he packed a bag of essentials. The doctor knew the routine, realized he could be by Jay's bedside for days or weeks.

Or not at all, he thinks, unable to not consider the fact his brother may already be gone by the time he gets back.

It seemed as though he arrived at the hospital in the blink of an eye, but again, that was impossible. What wasn't impossible, Will realized, was him zoning out during the drive back to Med.

Would Will be preparing for the funeral of the only family member he has left? Would the 21st take care of everything? What about the Army? How would that work?

Would Will have lengthy conversations with therapists about plans going forward? What about psychological recovery? Would Jay be willing to talk to someone about all he went through?

Would Jay be medically retired?

Would Jay survive the injuries, only to succumb to life on the outside?

The only thing that drew Will was his thoughts was seeing Hailey as she sat by Jay's bedside. He couldn't help but smile at that, knowing his brother was well looked after, in more than one way.

"Still here?"

Will didn't miss the way Hailey jumped, or how zoned out she appeared. It took a few seconds for her to realize he had asked a question, to which he repeated.

They talked for a little, then fell into silence. When Hailey mentioned that Jay mumbled something, a name, an ember of hope rose in his chest.

"He ever mention a JT before?" asked Hailey.

Will tried, and failed, many times in the past when trying to get Jay to talk about his time in the Army. He stopped asking, but kept an eye out for warning signs regardless. He knew his brother suffered from PTS on some level, but he couldn't tell how severe. That was outside his wheelhouse.

He mentioned this to Hailey, and that was the end of that conversation. He waited a beat, looked at the detective, then said, "Go home, Hailey."

Will knew she'd argue with him on this. Maybe that's why she and Jay got along so well. He listened as Hailey tried to come up with reasons why she needed to say, all valid points, Will agreed. Reasons he would give himself, if their roles were reversed.

The doctor told the detective he would be there, reassuring her with a gentle squeeze of her shoulder. He promised that he would call, if and when there are any changes.

After Hailey left, Will dropped his bag nearby and went over to Jay's monitors. He tried to talk himself out of reading the chart, too, but that did no good. After reading and rereading those, he was convinced Jay was stable.

Settling into a chair, Will pulled out his tablet, intent on reading up on some medical journals to pass the time. He, somehow, managed to focus on an entire paragraph before the words blurred and a headache began to form. He looked up at Jay, saw he was still in the same position he was when Will arrived only a few minutes ago.

It didn't take long for Will to realize he wouldn't be able to focus on anything right now. Not when his brother was fighting for his life less than an arms length away. He set the tablet on the table, sat back in the chair, and just watched.

He wasn't paying attention to anything particular, per se. As a doctor, he was trained to notice things that may save a patient's life down the road. As a brother, however, Will could only focus on the rise and fall of his brother's chest. How the many machines Jay was hooked up to held a steady beep or hiss. Those things kept him grounded.

Time ticked on at a slow pace. Dr. Marcel stopped by at some point to see how Jay was doing, but also to check up on Will. Dr. Halstead gave generic answers to generic questions, and soon, the other man was gone.

Will must have fallen asleep at some point after that, because next thing he knew, Jay's voice echoed in his ears. When he opened his eyes, Will noticed Jay's head was now turned toward him. That was definitely not how he left his brother when he closed his eyes.

The detective's brow was furrowed in pain, which caused the bruise around his left eye to look worse, darker and more swollen. Jay's lips were pressed in a tight line as he struggled to breath. He gritted his teeth, Will noticed, as he mumbled through the pain.

"Jay? Jay, can you hear me?" Will spoke in a soft voice in an attempt to get through the fog his brother was caught in. "Jay?"

"JT. JT, you're… gonna…" Jay continued to mumble. "You're gonna… be… you're…"

"Jay, buddy, talk to me. C'mon, brother, wake up. Please?"

Will's finger hovered over the call button. Hell, he could just yell and someone would come running in a heartbeat. But he wanted, needed, this time. He could tell Jay was close to waking up, his brother just needed some help.

"Jay?"

Slowly, so very slowly, the pained lines on Jay's face lessened. The heart rate monitor, Will just now noticed, slowly evened out, as did Jay's breathing.

"Jay? Can you hear me?" Will asked again.

This time, Jay opened his eyes.

"Jay, oh thank God."

The relief the younger Halstead felt was immense, but that joy was shattered when his brother, in a confused and broken voice, spoke next.

"W-who," there was a long, long pause. Then, "who... a-are you?"

Will was kicked out of Jay's room immediately. How did the staff know they were needed at that moment? Did he press the call button? Did he yell in confusion? Did he do something to get someone's attention upon Jay not recognizing his own brother? Will had no idea.

He sent Hailey a series of text messages in a short span of time. Ten to be exact. He waited, but got no reply. Resorting to calling her, Will nearly threw his phone across the ICU wing when he failed to reach the detective after the fifth call.

The anxiety was building once more as he paced back and forth in front of Jay's closed off room. He could imagine what was going on, because he has been on the other side of those doors time and time again. Being on this side, however, was no fun.

His mind wandered into a dark hole of questions when the phone in his hand rang. Will read the caller ID. Hailey Upton.

Oh, shit.

His heart dropped.

What was he supposed to say?

He answered on the third ring.