Chapter summary: Lio tries to learn how to say "no" to his siblings so he can catch his favorite TV show in time.
"Friday once again, it feels like it took forever to get here," Lio said as he looked at the calendar. He then turned to the reader and said "You might be confused so let me explain. Every Friday at 7pm, my favorite TV show, Celeste, airs a new episode. It's based on one of my favorite video games and the protagonist is incredibly relatable. It took weeks of diplomatic negotiations to secure the TV at the time, but it was all worth it. All I've got to do is be in front of the TV before 7 and I'll be home free. Since it's 3 right now, I have 4 hours to get ready. I'd better go get my snacks ready."
Before Lio could get the chance however, Lio was approached his younger sister, Lisa. "Lio, real quick, do you have a minute or two?" She asked.
Thinking nothing of it, Lio said "Sure. What do you need?"
"I'm on the cusp of a major scientific breakthrough and I need a test subject for my latest experiment," Lisa told him. "I asked Lincoln, but he said "no". Apparently, he's still bitter about the last experiment; in my defense, nobody could've foreseen him growing a tail as a result."
"I thought Mom and Dad forbid you from using your siblings as experimental guinea pigs anymore," Lio reminded her, flashing back to that experiment with Lincoln. Never had he felt more sorry for his twin.
"What Mom and Dad don't know won't hurt them," Lisa argued. "Please, I really need to test this out. This could be the most important experiment I've conducted. I promise this won't leave you horribly maimed or crippled."
"Oh, alright, but we've got to make this quick" Lio agreed. "Celeste comes on in a few hours and I simply CANNOT afford to miss this episode."
"This'll only take a few minutes, I promise you," Lisa assured him, grabbing him by his hand and dragging him towards her and Lily's room. Once they were there, Lisa handed Lio a waiver and a pen, telling him "Before we get started, I really need you to sign this."
"I thought you said this experiment wasn't going to leave me horribly maimed of crippled?" Lio replied, nonetheless signing the waiver.
"It won't," Lisa insisted, taking the waiver from Lio's hands. "Or at least it shouldn't. You should be perfectly safe" Lisa then handed Lio a vial containing a mysterious blue liquid. "Now, drink this and stand over there" She pointed to the other side of the room.
"Mmm, kinda tastes like blueberries" Lio observed as he stood on the other side of the room.
"Now, just stand still," Lisa ordered him before pulling out a green device that resembled a ray gun and aiming it at him. Lio was already starting to regret saying yes to Lisa. Still, if this was all Lisa required before allowing him to continue with his preparations, then so be it. "Now, you may feel a slight stinging sensation, but I assure that that is perfectly normal."
"The things I do for love," Lio muttered before Lisa zapped him. It only lasted a single second and true to Lisa's word, Lio only felt a brief slight stinging sensation. "Huh, that was it? That was easier than I expected" It was only then that Lio realized that he was floating a few centimeters off of the ground. "OH MY DIO, WHY AM I FLOATING?!"
"Calm down," Lisa said. "This simply means my experiment was a success! I've managed to discover a way to induce zero gravity!"
"Oh, so this was supposed to happen?" Lio asked as he tried to plant his feet on solid ground to no avail. "Cool. This is kinda neat, I suppose. Now can you give me back my gravity so that I don't float away?"
"No need, the effects of this gravity gun will wear off in anywhere from 10 minutes to a half an hour" Lisa told him.
"Phew, that's good to hear" Lio said, wiping sweat from his forehead when all of a sudden his right hand started to turn inside out in a gruesome fashion, causing him to panic. "What's happening to my hand!? Uh Lisa… was this supposed to happen?"
"Oh dear, this would appear to be an unforeseen side effect," Lisa said, scrambling to look over her notes. "It would appear that the gravity gun somehow inverted the gravitational forces acting upon your body, causing you to turn inside out"
"Well hurry up and do something, this is starting to get freaky!" Lio shouted as his entire right arm turned inside out, exposing the muscle underneath, causing him to freak out even more. "OH NO!"
"Hang on" Lisa said, grabbing the gravity gun. "Perhaps a second blast from the gravity gun will undo the initial effects and turn you back to normal."
"Shoot me! Shoot me!" Lio yelled as his left hand started to turn inside out. "Do whatever you have to, just turn me back to normal!" Lisa obliged and blasted him a second time with the gravity gun. Rather than revert back to normal however, Lio instead started floating even higher off the ground and towards the ceiling. "I knew I should've just said "no"" Lio thought to himself. Much to his relief, Lisa's hunch was correct and his left hand turned right side up followed shortly afterwards by his right arm.
"I guess I need to make some alterations to the gravity gun," Lisa said. "Rest assured Lio, next time we try out the gravity gun, the results won't be as squicky."
"That's great, but now I'm stuck up here" Lio said. "What am I going to do now?"
"As I said before, the gravity gun's effects should wear off after 10 to 30 minutes," Lisa said before tossing a notebook and a pen up at Lio. "In the meantime, write down if the zero gravity has any other adverse effects on your body such as if it affects your bladder in anyway."
30 minutes later, Lio was back on solid ground. Never again would he take gravity for granted. Lio made a mental note to steer clear of Lisa and her experiments in the near future. Only 3 and a half hours until the premiere of the new episode of Celeste. Now that that was over, Lio could get down to preparing his snacks. At least, until another sister caught him.
"Yo, Lio, you got a minute?" Lynn asked him, tossing a football at him.
"What can I help you with?" Lio asked.
"I need a partner that I can practice football with," Lynn informed him. "We've got a huge game this week and I need all the practice I can get."
Lio glanced at the clock again and thought to himself "I've got plenty of time, I can spare a few minutes for Lynn." Lio then turned to Lynn and said "Sure, I've got some time to spare. Let's go!"
Lio and Lynn head out to the backyard, pigskin in hand. "Alright, I need to work on my defense so I'll kick the ball off to you first" Lynn said. "Try to get to the other end of the yard by getting past me. You've got four tries to do so."
"Hmm, sounds easy enough" Lio said, only for Lynn to reply "You say that now, but you have no idea who you're dealing with." Lynn then kicked the ball off to Lio, who caught it with ease and ran full speed ahead. He made it 2 feet before Lynn flattened him, knocking him for a loop.
"Did anyone get the number of that road roller?" Lio asked, seeing stars swirling around his head. He slowly stumbled back onto his feet, a bit dizzy from being knocked to the ground so hard. He shook his head quickly to recover as his own competitive side took over. Against his better judgment, he taunted Lynn, shouting at her "Is that the best you've got?"
"Oh, believe me, I'm just getting started" Lynn replied. "Care to try again or did I hit you too hard for you to stand?"
"You've got to be kidding me," Lio said, getting into position to make his next play. "All you did was give me a light love tap and you think that's enough to make me say "uncle"? It's going to take a lot more than that to get me to throw in the towel." Lio looked Lynn in the eyes before saying "Go!" and snapping the ball to himself. He leaped to the left, dodging Lynn's attempt to tackle him with a pounce. Lio made a mad sprint for the other side of the yard and to his credit, he made it halfway there to the point where he actually thought he'd make the touchdown.
"Not so fast, Little Bro!" Lynn said, easily catching up to Lio and grabbing him by his ankles, bringing him down to the ground. "Hope you didn't think you could pull a fast one on me. I'm as quick as I am strong! You have two more attempts to get a touchdown. Unless you want to turn the ball over now, that is."
"There is no way I am giving up," Lio declared confidently before thinking to himself "Now if I was the protagonist in a sports manga such Slam Dunk or Hajime no Ippo, what would I do to come out victorious in this situation. Perhaps I can keep Lynn from catching me by running in a zig zag pattern so that she has more difficulty catching me. It's not much of a strategy, but it might be practical enough to work. After all, on the last drive, I made it almost halfway to the goal before being tackled. Alternatively, I could throw the ball into the air and catch my own throw for a victory. Alright then, it's been decided, I know what I must do."
"Hello, Lio, are you there?" Lynn called out to him. "You're staring off into deep space, are you going to make your move or not?"
"Aren't we eager for someone who's about to bite my dust," Lio replied, cracking a smile as he got into position to make his next play. "I am determined not to lose so prepare yourself because this is the drive where I claim sweet victory!"
"We'll seem about that," Lynn said, fiercely determined not to let Lio score a touchdown.
"Go!" Lio said, taking a step back for throwing the ball into the air. He juked an attempted tackle from Lynn and ran forward to catch his own throw. He turned around and leapt into the air, reaching him arm out to complete the catch and ensure himself the win. Unfortunately for Lio, Lynn was right in front of him and she brought him down to the ground before he could make the catch.
"Nice try, but you're going to have to wake up pretty early if you want that trick to work on me," Lynn said.
"I knew I should've gone with the zig zag" Lio thought to himself as he picked himself up off the ground once again.
"Alright Lio, you've got one last try to get to the other end of the yard, then it's my turn" Lynn said.
"Okay, time to stop playing nice," Lio remarked, crouching down before saying "Go!" and making a mad dash for the end goal. He didn't expect to make it all the way, but much to his surprise, he actually made it. "Oh yeah! Who's the man? I'm the Man!" He took the time to celebrate.
"You do realize you only made it as far as you did because I let you, right?" Lynn pointed out, causing Lio to reply "Don't ruin this for me." Before continuing his celebration.
"Alright, now it's my turn," Lynn said. "Kick the ball off to me and let me show you how it's done"
Lio obliged and kicked the ball off to Lynn. "Okay, now all I have to do is make sure she doesn't make it past me, sounds easy enou-'" Lio said to himself before attempting to block Lynn from getting to the other side of the yard. For his troubles, Lio was knocked aside and onto the ground by a charging Lynn, leaving him dazed. "Why did I agree to this again?"
"And that's how it's done," Lynn said as she made it all the way. She reached down and helped Lio up off the ground. "I hope I didn't knock you around too bad."
"Heheh, I'm fine" Lio said, clutching his shoulder.
"Thanks for your help," Lynn said. "After that practice session, I feel like I'm more than ready for the big game! Catch you later!"
Lio barely had time to get himself together before another sister approached him. "Hey Lio!" said Lana. "There's a freshly made mud puddle with my name on it and I'm in the mood for some mud wrestling. Care to join me?"
Lio shrugged his shoulders and said "Sure, let's do this. Besides, I'm seeking a little retribution after our last bout"
"Great!" Lana said, leading Lio to the mud puddle. "I hope you're ready to go down!"
"Oh please, last time you just got luck-'" Lio said before Lana pounced on him and drove him into the mud puddle, saying "First rule of mud wrestling, talking is NOT a free action!"
Lana drove Lio face first into the mud, holding his head down. Lio fought back, grabbing Lana by her shoulders and rolling her over onto her back. As she was one of his younger sisters, Lio took great caution to avoid hurting her. That was a big mistake on Lio's part as Lana had no such scruples. She used her legs to hurricanrana Lio onto his back and smear his face with mud.
Lana tried transitioning into a sleeper hold, but Lio shook her off and rolled around for several seconds, getting both siblings covered in mud. Lio tried to pin Lana and hold her down to claim victory only for Lana to use her legs to push him off. Lio fell on his back and when Lana got close, he used his legs to lock her in an armbar.
"Oh, so you've got some fight left in you?" Lana said. "I like that in an opponent. Let's go!" Lana then slipped out of the armbar and picked Lio up off of the ground in a power bomb position. She then slammed Lio onto the ground, leaving him stunned for a few seconds. Lio was thankful that he was slammed into something soft like mud otherwise he'd be in a lot more pain right now. Lio decided to stop going easy and slammed Lana onto the ground with a belly to belly suplex. He then put Lana into a sleeper hold, intending to make her submit. Unfortunately for him, Lana decided to get out of the submission by biting his arm.
"Ow! Did you just bite me?" Lio asked, grabbing his arm and caressing where he'd been bit.
"Sorry Big Bro, but you know that when it comes to mud wrestling, you know I don't play fair" Lana told him.
"I guess it's safe to say that you fight dirty" Lio joked, prompting Lana to groan and say "Leave the puns to Luan" before she grabbed Lio by his waist and flipped him over onto the ground on his head with a German suplex. Lio rolled through and tripped up a charging Lana before holding her face down in the mud, a little payback from earlier.
Lana once again wriggled out and proceeded to lock Lio into an STF, wrenching the hold in. It didn't take long for Lio to submit. "Ow! Uncle! Uncle!" Lio cried, tapping out.
"Your winner and still the mud wrestling champion OF THE WORLD: Lana Loud!" Lana yelled, celebrating her victory as she let Lio go. "Thanks Lio! That was fun!"
"No problem," Lio said before fainting.
"Man, playing football with Lynn and mud wrestling with Lana took 45 minutes," Lio said as he threw his clothes into the washing machine. "Celeste still has a little over 2 hours before the new episode. Hopefully, I'll be able to make it in time"
"Hopefully" Lucy said as she suddenly appeared behind Lio, causing him to jump in terror and remark "Really need to put a bell on you"
"It wouldn't work, trust me," Lucy said. "Can you help me with something?"
"Sure, Lucy, what do you need?" Lio asked.
"I'm trying to catch some bats in a nearby cave so I can take them in as pets," Lucy said. "I can't catch them no matter how hard I try, as they just keep flying away every time I get close. They won't even bite me so I can become a vampire, so will you help me?"
"Lucy, everyone knows that if want to become a vampire, you use an ancient Aztec stone mask," Lio said. "Secondly, wouldn't it be easier to try catching a few Conqueror Worms?"
"This is no time for Edgar Allan Poe references," Lucy said, causing Lio to frown. "I promise that this'll only take a few minutes, so can I count on you?"
"You can count on me," Lio told her. "Besides, I was looking to research exotic locations to help me with Tokyo Planet Outlaw, anyway"
Lucy and Lio arrived at the cave with flashlight in hand, looking to catch some bats. Lio had a butterfly net in hand while Lucy had a cage for whatever bats they caught. Lio told Lucy to stay outside so that he could check the cave out first and make sure there wasn't anything dangerous lurking in there. Upon seeing that everything was safe, Lio gestured for Lucy to come inside.
"Alright, let's find these bats," Lio said, somewhat excitedly as he took in the scenery. Almost immediately, a bat swooped down at the pair. Lio was prepared and tried to catch the bat with the net, but missed. "Elusive little creature. No wonder you had trouble catching it."
"There's more than one," Lucy said, pointing upwards. "Look up above you."
Lio immediately did so and saw a swarm of bats hanging upside. There had to have been at least a hundred bats all hanging overhead. "Holy guano," Lio exclaimed, eyes widened as he instinctively pushed Lucy behind him. "How on earth did we miss that?"
"How are we going to catch all of these?" Lucy whispered.
"We'd be lucky to catch one or two of these bats with being bitten a thousand times," Lio whispered back. "Nevertheless, I promised I'd help you catch a bat so I'll keep going. Just try to keep quiet and keep a hold of that cage, I have a feeling we're going to need it in a minute."
"Got it" Lucy replied.
Lio stood up on a couple of stalagmites to be able to reach the bats, being extremely careful to avoid disturbing the bats and possibly send them into a frenzy. Suddenly, Lio felt the sudden urge to sneeze at precisely the wrong time. "Ah, ah, aah" Lio came close to letting out a sneeze, only to fortunately stop himself just in time. "Phew," Lio whispered to himself. "That was a close one" He crept close to one of the bats and prepared his butterfly net. He slowly moved in to capture the avian creature when the urge to sneeze returned and this time he couldn't control himself. "ACHOO!"
Almost immediately, the bats awoke with a screech. Before the bats could make their move, Lio shouted at Lucy "RUN! I'll meet you outside!" Lucy obeyed and ran outside, leaving Lio behind to deal with the swarm of bats all flying in a frenzy. Lio fell off of the stalagmites he was standing atop and landed with a thud. Lio still had the net in his hand and used it to swat away bats that swooped down at him. Keeping his head low, Lio navigated his way out of the cave and in the process, actually managed to catch one of the bats in his net. With the goal accomplished, Lio made a mad sprint outside, coming out of it with a few minor scratches on his face.
"Are you alright?" Lucy asked him.
"I'm okay," Lio said before showing off the bat he had caught. "Open up the cage, I got you a bat" Lucy opened the cage and as Lio moved to put the bat inside, the bat in his hands bit him on his right arm. "Ow! The little bugger bit me"
Lucy immediately hugged Lio, saying "Thank you for your help, I owe you big time."
"It was my pleasure," Lio said as the two returned home, Lio debating whether he should get a rabies shot.
"Okay, maybe now I can get ready for Celeste" Lio said before bumping into his twin, Lincoln.
"Hey Lio" Lincoln greeted him.
"What's up, Linc" Lio greeted him.
"Say, can I ask a favor?" Lincoln asked him.
"Ask away," Lio said.
"Okay, so I kind of owe Clyde a favor and I could use your help with it" Lincoln said, causing Lio to ask "What kind of favor do you owe Clyde?". Lincoln replied "I promised I'd get him a lock of Lori's hair for his new locket, but you know how Lori is about anyone going into her room. Think you could give me a hand?"
"So you want me to risk getting clobbered so that you can fulfill your promise to Clyde without getting on Lori's bad side?" Lio asked, seriously questioning his actions in life. Lincoln nodded and Lio reluctantly said "Alright, I'll help you out. Just help keep Lori distracted, okay."
"Thanks Lio, you're a lifesaver" Lincoln said.
The twins devised a plan where Lio would sneak into Lori's room, find her hairbrush and retrieve a few locks of her hair while Lincoln kept lookout and would keep Lori from entering the room until Lio had made a safe exit. However, if Lincoln failed to provide a good enough distraction and Lori caught Lio, it was agreed that Lio would be on his own. Why Lio agreed to these terms, he had no idea, but it was too late to turn back now. Lio peeked into Lori and Leni's room before making his way inside. Thankfully, both girls were currently away, leaving Lio with (hopefully) plenty of time. He tiptoed inside and immediately began the search for Lori's hairbrush.
Lio made his way to Lori's side of the room, hoping that he could be in and out before anyone even knew he was there. The first place he looked was on Lori's bed, hoping that perhaps she had left it behind. No such luck and Lio moved on to look on Lori's bed stand. Aside from a lamp Lori's diary (which Lio wasn't touching with a 20 meter pole, he was already in deep enough by breaking into Lori's room in the first place, no need to go off and sign his own death warrant), there was nothing on the nightstand. That hairbrush had to be around here somewhere. Lio moved onto looking on Lori's dresser where he finally found what he was looking for. Lio questioned why he didn't just look there in the first place. Alright, now all that was left was retrieve the strands of hair and get out before Lori returned. He was just about to exit the room when he heard Lori coming up the stairs. Lio froze in place and hoped that Lincoln would provide a well enough distraction for him to escape or at the very least, sneak out without being seen by Lori.
"Oh Bobby, I'm so looking forward to our date tonight," Lori said, talking over the phone. "I literally can't wait to see what you have in store for me,"
"Hey Lori, how's it going?" Lincoln asked, standing in front of Lori to block her path.
"Get out of my way, dweeb," Lori said. "I've got a date I have to get ready for."
"How interesting," Lincoln said, stalling for time. "Say, where are you and Bobby going tonight? Perhaps Ronnie Anne and I can tag along, make it a double date"
"How about no," Lori replied. "Bobby and I really need some time away from our hectic families. Tonight is going to act as alone time for the two of us"
"Are you really going to go out with your hair looking like that?" Lincoln asked, causing Lori to freak and ask "What's wrong with my hair?" Lori then ran into the bathroom to look in the mirror, giving Lio the chance to exit her room unseen.
"Here's the hair you requested," Lio said as he handed the strands of Lori's hair to Lincoln.
"Thanks Lio, I owe you big time," Lincoln said.
"Don't mention it," Lio said, his life having flashed before his eyes while in Lori's room. "Just do me a favor and never ask me to do something so suicidal again."
"I've gotta get going, Clyde and I are going to catch a movie in a few minutes," Lincoln said, waving goodbye to his twin as he departed.
"Speaking of a few minutes, how much time to I have left until Celeste?" Lio asked himself, glancing down at his watch. "2 hours, sounds good. For a second I thought I was going to die before I got the chance to see the new episode. Now if I can just avoid doing anymore favors, I should be in the clear."
At just that moment, Lori emerged from the bathroom, looking for Lincoln. "Lincoln, there was literally nothing wrong with my hair, what were you talking about?" She asked, still sounding worried about the state of her hair. She didn't see Lincoln, but she did see Lio and said "Oh, Lio. Maybe you can help me out with something."
"I knew I should've kept my big mouth shut" Lio thought to himself before asking Lori "What can I help you with?"
"I have this big date with Bobby later on tonight and I need to make sure I look my absolute best," Lori told him. "I know your show comes on in a couple of hours, but I promise that this'll literally take you no time at all"
"I'd be happy to help you," Lio said despite a voice in his head telling him "You have no obligation to help her." Lio mentally replied to the voice by saying "I've already helped 5 of my siblings, it won't hurt to help another. Besides, it's the least we could do after invading her room."
"Thanks, Lio," Lori said before tossing Lio a French Maid's outfit. "Now put this on" Lio didn't question why this favor required him to wear the outfit, but instead went along with it. "First thing I need you to do is help me comb my hair. Even though there doesn't appear to be anything with it, you can never be too sure."
"Hmm, doesn't sound too difficult," Lio said, thinking to himself. "This may be the quickest favor I've done all afternoon". Once again, Lio had spoken too soon as a few minutes later, Lio found himself tasked with giving Lori a foot massage. Not too hard of a task, but it did chip into his getting ready for Celeste. Lio didn't think this had anything to do with a date, but then again he had no knowledge of love.
Shortly after massaging Lori's feet, he found himself retrieving her lemonade from the kitchen, all while wearing the French Maid's outfit. It was there that he ran into Luan. As his evening had consisted of doing favors, the first thing that came into his mind was "Lord DIO, please don't tell me she wants me to do something for her too."
"Hey Lio, tell me what you think of this joke," Luan said. "Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts"
Lio laughed, thankful for the joke as it gave him some much needed comic relief. "That was a pretty good one"
"Thanks," Luan said before noticing Lio's get up. "What're you doing?"
"Getting lemonade for Lori," Lio answered, causing Luan to ask "Why?" Lio answered "Because she asked me to."
"Doesn't your show come on in an hour and a half?" Luan reminded him.
Lio nodded his head and said "Yes, but I've been running around doing favors for everyone else"
"Why?" Luan asked.
"Because they really needed help with what they were doing," Lio answered. "And I didn't want to let them down, but at the same time if I keep doing things for everyone, I'm going to miss my show"
"Then why don't you just tell them no?" Luan questioned.
"I've thought about saying no, but again, I don't want to disappoint any of them" Lio told her. "Besides, it's not like it'll hurt me to help out my family and I do have Celeste set to DVR."
"Lio, you always do this" Luan said. "You always get excited for something, only to end up getting sidetracked doing favors for everyone else. You've got to learn how to stand up for yourself. It's alright to say "no" every once in a while. No one's going to hate you for it."
"But what about Leni?" Lio asked. "She's always doing something kind for others. If she can make it through okay, why can't I?"
"Leni is her own person" Luan pointed out. "And despite her kind heart, even she isn't a doormat. She knows when to say no and when to stand up for herself. You can't keep saying yes to everyone's requests"
"You know what, you're right," Lio said. "Starting from this moment forward, I'm going to stop doing what everyone asks me to do!"
"That's the spirit!" Luan said. "One more question though: Why are you wearing that outfit?"
Without missing a beat, Lio struck an extravagant pose and replied "Because I look absolutely fabulous in it!"
Luan laughed and said "I guess you could say that outfit was maid for you. Get it?"
Lio chuckled before saying "Alright, I'm going to say no to whoever asks me to do anything, starting now!"
"LIO! Where's my lemonade!" Lori called from upstairs.
"Coming, Lori!" Lio replied, running up the stairs with the lemonade in hand, causing Luan to facepalm. As he was running up the stairs, Lio noticed the strange looks the reader was giving him so he turned to them and said "Hey, you're just jealous that you wouldn't look half as good as I do in a French Maid's outfit."
"Okay, that last one doesn't count," Lio said to the reader. "NOW is when I start saying no"
"Hey, Lio!" Lola called out to him. "Wanna play Mafia Princess Tea Party with me?"
Lio took a deep breath and…
"I'm sure you're curious as to why I called you here for this discussion," Lola said, in character as the eponymous Mafia Princess. "Recently, one of your members killed one of our capos. I was under the impression that there was a five way truce between the families. And yet, you Passione gangsters killed a central capo belonging to the Loud Family? Care to explain yourself? The violation of such a vital truce is grounds for another gang war"
"Aw yes, I believe you are referring to the death of Franco Forelli, am I correct?" Lio asked, also in character. "Madam Loud, you must understand that Passione has strict rules for any gangsters who carry out their business on our turf. We are normally very lenient, but Don Giorno Giovanna made it quite clear what activity isn't allowed on our turf. Considering the fact that one of your Loud members was on our turf, yet eagerly disregarded a very simple rule, we also had the grounds to start another gang war, and yet…" Lio took a sip of his "tea". "We did not. For you see, Passione is a very merciful family and we do not want to see vast amounts of bloodshed. Therefore, we were content to simply take out the rule breaker and carry on with our operations."
"Interesting," Lola said, sipping her tea. "Tell me why I shouldn't convince my father to wage war against Passione?"
"Because," Lio said. "If Passione presented its case for the execution to the rest of the Families, we are confident that they would see it as justified. Secondly, for as powerful as the Loud Family is, Passione is far more powerful and has a far greater influence on the city as a whole. When your members are counterfeiting cash down by the docks, do remember that Passione is the one who pays off the police to turn a blind eye to your business. We control the airports that fly in the plates your machines use to print the phony cash. If you were to wage war, you would surely lose." Lio had a warm yet smug and passive aggressive smile on his face as if to rub it into Lola's face that her family couldn't retaliate.
"Does your Don, Mr. Giovanna, know of the hit you carried out?" Lola asked.
Lio shook his head "No and it is for your benefit that he doesn't know. While Mr. Giovanna is a very noble man who goes out of his way to protect the innocent, he is very ruthless to those who violate his cardinal rule." Lio took another sip of his tea.
"And that rule is?" Lola asked.
"Don't deal drugs, especially to minors," Lio revealed. "When Don Giorno Giovanna took over Passione, he made it his mission to curb the drug trade, which he saw as poisoning the community. Anyone who is caught dealing on Passione turf is as good as dead and unfortunately for your capo, he was caught dealing to children." Lio then coughed a couple of times.
"Are you alright?" Lola asked.
Lio nodded his head and said "Yes. It is a bit dusty in here, no?"
"Yes, quite" Lola agreed before returning to the business at hand. "Anyway, back to the matter at hand, was it necessary for Passione to take such immediate action? You're lucky I'm good at controlling my temper otherwise a few of your members would be sleeping with the fishes right now."
"Calm down, Madam Loud," Lio said. "The issue has been settled. There is no need for any further bloodshed." With that smug grin on his face, he added "Just be sure to rein your boys in and, if you must partake in the heinous drug trade, be sure that you don't do it on Passione territory. That seems like a fair offer, no?"
Lola sighed and said "I suppose so."
"Very well," Lio said as he rose from the table, only to suddenly collapse.
"By the way, dust wasn't the reason for your coughing fit earlier," Lola told him, causing Lio to question "Hmm?" Lola then explained "Before you even got here, I laced your tea with a potent poison. You should savor your last drink as best as you can."
"N-No, how could this happen to me?" Lio asked as he broke into a coughing fit once again.
"You're fond of quoting Edgar Allan Poe, so allow me to hit with a quote you're likely familiar with," Lola said. "No one strikes my family with impunity."
"Of course," Lio cursed himself. "How could I be so naïve? I forgot just who I was dealing with. The Loud Family may not be the most powerful, but bloody their nose and they come back at you twice as fierce."
"You're right about one thing: there's no need for any further bloodshed," Lola said. "I'll have my men make sure your death looks accidental so as to avoid retaliation from Mr. Giovanna. Now perish."
Lio went into his death throes before getting up and promising to play Mafia Princess Tea Party again with Lola soon. "Okay, I know I said I'd start saying no, but Mafia Princess Tea Party is a fun game," He said to the reader.
"Aaaugh! Come on, Luna, think, think, think!" Lio suddenly heard Luna say. Against his better judgment, he knocked on the door to Luna and Luan's room and found the former sitting with a notebook in hand, multiple wads of crumpled up paper at her feet.
"Everything okay, Luna?" Lio asked.
"Not even close, dude," Luna told him. "I've been trying to come up with a new song all afternoon, but nothing good is coming to me. Think you could maybe help me out"
"Yeah, I'll help you out," Lio said before he could catch himself. Too late to back out now. "What kind of song are you going for?"
"It's supposed to be something like a party song," Luna said. "Something that can get your blood pumping, that can get you hyped! It's supposed to have an exciting vibe to it, but I can't even think of the opening verse. This is driving me insane, man!"
"Hmm, play something on your guitar and I can help you out" Lio said. Luna, having nothing to lose and going nowhere on her own agreed and in the process, Lio quickly thought up the opening lyrics. "Sit back, baby kick back; get pumped, and then turn up the bass; This music'll make you jump, make you move from place to place…" Lio then shook his head and said "No, no, that won't work."
"Hold on a minute, dude, I think you might be onto something" Luna said. "Say that verse again." Lio did so and Luna picked up where he left off. "Lyrics cut just like a knife, get you ready for the night; tell me, are you ready to have the time of your life" "Blimey! I think I've finally got something."
"Awesome!" Lio said before he and Luna spent the next 20 minutes crafting lyrics to the song.
"Wow, I've finally finished" Luna said before heading to the garage to practice. "Thanks for your help, little bro!"
"It was my pleasure" Lio said before running into Leni. "Oh hey Leni, what's going on?"
"Nothing really," Leni said. "Say, can you help me out with something?"
"Just say no, just say no, just say no" Lio thought to himself before doing the exact opposite. "Yes I can. What do you need?"
"I'm going to a party tonight and I need your help picking a good outfit" Leni said. She then pulled out two dresses, one that was striped black and blue and the other being coloured red.
"Hmm, that's an easy one, you should go with the dress that" Lio started to say before Leni interrupted him.
"Hold on, I wasn't done" Leni said, pulling out 3 more dresses. One was a royal purple dress, the other striped hot pink and red, and the third being gold and purple. "Oh, and I have even more outfits in my room that you just have to check out!"
"Oh dear," Lio thought to himself. Lio found himself looking at over 23 different outfits before Leni asked him to make a decision. "Okay, if you want my opinion, I think you should go with outfit #7-'"
"Oh wait, nevermind" Leni said. "I think I'll just wear what I'm wearing now."
Lio's eye twitched as while the favours for his other siblings had taken up his time, at least those had a purpose. This, on the other hand, was a complete waste of his time. If it wasn't for how innocent she was, Lio would've assumed that Leni intentionally did this to mess with him. Whatever the case may be, he was finally done doing favors and could head to the TV to watch Celeste. Or so he thought. As he made his way downstairs, he caught his youngest sister, Lily crawling around on the floor.
"Hey Lily," Lio said as he picked her up. "Man, after doing favors for everyone I am exhausted. I'm been tackled, bitten by bats, tapped out and even C-Moon'd, but now I get to sit back and watch my favorite show. Thankfully, you don't need me to do anything, do you?"
Lily simply smiled at Lio and said "Poo Poo" before Lio smelled something foul. With a sigh, Lio said "I spoke too soon, didn't I?" Lily laughed and clapped her hands, prompting Lio to smile back at her and say "I can't get mad at you" before he moved in to change Lily's diaper. The task didn't take long and once he was finished, Lio put Lily back down and made his way downstairs to watch Celeste.
"Aw, finally… time to myself" Lio said to himself as he sat down on the couch.
"Um… Lio" Lincoln said as he and Luan sat down next to Lio.
"Hold on a minute, I've been waiting for this all day" Lio said.
"But Lio…" Luan tried to tell him.
Lio's eyes were glued to the TV however and would soon be filled with disappointment when he heard the words "And that concludes another exciting episode of Celeste. Tune in next week for another great episode." Lio's eyes darted towards the clock on the wall, where he saw that it read "7:31 PM"
"Bro, are you going to be alright?" Lincoln asked.
"I'm… um… going to need a moment" Lio said, prompting Lincoln and Luan to jump behind the couch, preparing for the eminent outburst. Lio took a deep breath and shouted "NOOOOOOOO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! Nuh-uh! Wryyyyyyy…" and face planted into the floor.
"Done?" Luan asked, peeking her head out from behind the couch.
"Not quite" Lio said, slowly raising his head up from the ground and back up to his feet. "NO! NO, NO, NO! NOOOOOOO! Whoa!" Lio then slipped and fell back onto the sofa, saying "Okay. I'm done." Upon regaining his composure, Lio lamented "I don't know where the time went. I had over four hours to get ready. Then I acted as a guinea pig for Lisa, acted as a practice dummy for Lynn, then I mud wrestled with Lana… oh, now I'm starting to see where all of my time went."
"Sounds like you got overwhelmed doing favors for everyone else" Lincoln said.
"I just couldn't help myself" Lio said. "I tried saying no, but I just didn't have it in me. Ugh, I'm such a doormat."
"No you're not" Lincoln said to his twin with Luan adding "You just have a tendency to put your family before yourself. That's pretty admirable"
"You think so?" Lio asked.
"Yeah" Lincoln said. "My advice for you would just be try not to let others manipulate you in the future"
"I'll try my hardest," Lio said before Lincoln and Luan smiled at him and asked "So, do you think you could do me a favor?"
"Yeah, I'll get right on th-, I mean no." Lio said, prompting laughter from the 3 siblings.
"So today, I learned that sometimes it's okay to say no" Lio said to the reader. "And while it felt good to do something for my siblings, I am kinda bummed I missed Celeste" With a smirk, Lio then said "But for the record, don't expect a repeat of tonight next week." Lio spent the rest of the night practicing how to say no.
The purpose of this chapter was to show Lio's interactions with his other siblings.