Chapter four

Just us

The next day

Elsa slouched on the bus seat, idly drumming her fingers on the windowsill. Outside, the landmarks of Willowton flew by.

She was becoming intimately familiar with every sign, street and stoplight along the way. Her phone was usually almost dead by this time of day, and Elsa, being the Einstein that she was, once again hadn't thought to bring anything to read. Not that a half an hour bus trip was unreasonably long, but after the third consecutive day, it was getting a little old.

Well, I'll have to get used to it, she resolved as their neighborhood rolled into view. I'll be doing it a lot more when Mom and Dad get back.

It had only been six months since she had seen them last, but it felt like much longer. They'd been available to call pretty often, but there were just some things that they needed to be there for. Christmas alone had been difficult, especially for Anna. But they had made it work.

The bus gently rode over a speed bump. Elsa shook her head, then gathered up her bags. Two minutes after the bump, the bus pulled up at her stop. She thanked the bus driver, then set off for the house.

The sun was still high, but the talk oaks that lined the street on either side cast the sidewalk into darkness. She checked her phone.

6:30, and it's a school night tomorrow.

As she approached the house, she looked up the runtimes for all three Back to the Future movies.

Hmm, that'd be cutting it close. I could make it through all three, but Anna probably won't. I'll see what she thinks, though.

Anna's car was in the driveway, and the lights were on, but Elsa still checked the mailbox as she walked past it. Unsurprisingly, it was full. She shifted through the letters idly. Junk, magazine, something for Anna, junk, coupons, catalog…

And one high priority letter from a military base. With familiar handwriting on the front.

Elsa stopped in her tracks, feet from the door. She wedged the remaining mail into her armpit, then tore open the letter hastily.

Odd, she thought as she unfolded it. Why would they send a letter if they're about to be here in person?

The first half of the letter was the same as usual. Hey girls, miss you bunches, we've been busy doing this, this and this, etc. She read through it all, then progressed to the second half.

Then she stopped reading. Her eyes widened, and her grip tightened on the letter

Is this some kind of joke? Are they kidding?

She read on. No, they were going into detail. They weren't kidding.

The letter started shaking, and small, fingernail-sized holes appeared at the edges she was holding.

You couldn't even call us to explain this, you had to just put it in a letter. Cowards.

She looked up, at the door.

Oh god, what am I going to tell her?

She took a deep, shuddering breath. Folding up the letter, she put it under her arm with the other mail and fished out her keys. They jingled in her hands. She forced herself to take a few more steadying breaths until her hands stopped shaking.

Be brave. One of us has to be calm.

She nodded to herself and opened the door.

Anna was lounging on the sofa, arm draped over the back. When she heard the door open, she turned around and smiled. "Hey there, sis," she said.

Elsa offered a weak smile. "Hey," she answered. Setting down her bags and mail, she pulled out the letter and held it in front of her. "There's a letter here. From Mom and Dad."

Anna sprang up. "Really?" she said, hurtling around the sofa. "But why would they send a letter if…" She looked at Elsa's troubled expression, and her own face grew worried. "Oh no, did something happen to them?"

"No, they're fine," Elsa said quickly. "It's just…you really need to read it for yourself."

"Okay," Anna said, confused.

She took the letter and unfolded it, and began to read it, mouthing the words as she read them. At first, she was smiling as she read their usual updates, but as she neared the bottom of the letter, her expression shifted. Her eyes widened, and the color drained from her face. Elsa wanted to reach out for her right then and there, but she waited. Finally, Anna lowered the letter, and her arms fell to her sides.

She looked at Elsa. "Three…three more months, h-huh?"

Elsa nodded. She held out her arms, beckoning Anna. Anna didn't move.

"But, they-they're getting a pay raise, so t-that's nice," she said, trying to smile.

"Anna…" Elsa trailed off, not sure how to continue.

"And, h-hey, they can always F-Facetime into my g-graduation…" Anna continued.

Elsa stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her little sister. Anna sank into her sister's embrace, squeezing her tightly.

"Fuck," Anna said in a thick voice. Elsa felt the tears rolling off Anna's cheeks and landing on her shirt. "Fuck!" she gasped again.

Elsa stroked her sister's hair. "It's okay," she said softly, "it's okay. I'm here."

Anna wailed, gripping her sister tightly, as if she might disappear if she let go.

Okay, Elsa thought. This calls for some serious cuddling.

xxxxxxx

Anna sniffled. "Is it wrong for me to feel this way?" she asked, looking up at her sister. "Is it selfish?"

"No, not at all," Elsa said, giving her another squeeze. "They're the selfish ones."

Anna winced. "Don't say that," she said.

"Sorry," Elsa said.

On the TV in front of them, Marty was making his escape from the bullies. Not that Anna could see it well – half her face was under the blanket wrapped around the two of them. Anna's head was resting on Elsa's shoulder, and Elsa had one arm wrapped around her and her other hand entwined with Anna's. It seemed to be helping, as Anna's sniffles and shudders had slowly abated.

"Why did this happen?" Anna asked. "They used to only get deployed one at a time, and now they're always both away at the same time."

"I don't know," Elsa lied. "I'm sure they're just as upset about it as we are."

They had first announced that they were both going to be deployed together five years ago. Three months after Elsa had turned sixteen. Two months after she got her driver's license.

Anna fell silent, turning her head towards the movie. Elsa's head was also turned towards the screen, but her attention was still fixed on her sister. The volume was turned down low, so she could hear her sister's breathing, feel her body rise and fall with each breath. She monitored Anna's heart rate, careful not to adjust her grip a fraction, for fear of the reaction it might elicit.

"You're good at this," Anna mumbled.

Elsa turned to her. "Sorry?"

"This," Anna said. "Hugging. Comforting."

"I guess," Elsa said sheepishly. "It's just hugs. Everyone's good at hugs."

"He wasn't," Anna said. "Whenever we hugged, His grip was too tight. Like a vise…"

Elsa winced. The last thing she'd wanted was to remind her sister of him, especially when she'd just started to calm down. She changed the subject. "Esmerelda used to hug me a lot," she said. "Guess I picked up some of it from her."

Immediately, she regretted saying it. It was true, Esmerelda had comforted her a lot back when they were dating. The thing about her hugs, though, was that they often led to other things. She was now very aware that she was holding her sister in the same way that her girlfriend would hold her.

Now it's awkward. But I don't want to let go of her, especially now. Not to mention, this is gonna make the next thing I say feel even weirder.

She felt her own heart rate rising. What do I-

"No, you were already good at it," Anna said. "Even before you went to college."

Elsa's train of thought slowed to a halt. "Oh," she said. "Thanks."

Anna looked up at her, eyes filled with adoration. "Thank you, Elsa," she said, voice trembling. "You're always here for me when I need you."

Elsa smiled, her heart rate elevated by the pure love she felt radiating from her sister. "My pleasure," she said.

I'm not, though, the voice inside her head added. I'm not here for you enough, and certainly not always.

Anna was silent then. She seemed to have turned her attention back to the movie. Elsa, though, was still deep in thought. Mainly, about how to say what she wanted to say next.

"Say, Anna," she said.

Anna turned to her. "Yeah?"

"So, I was talking to Elsa Schneider earlier today," she said.

Anna raised an eyebrow.

"She said she really enjoyed her date with you the other day," Elsa continued. "And she'd love to do it again. Maybe…a movie date?"

Anna still seemed a little confused. Elsa could understand why.

Just say you want to go see a movie with her, moron! It's not weird! You're the one who invited her to a fucking dinner date!

Then Anna broke into a smile. "I'd like that," she said. "I'd like that a lot. Let miss Schneider know I'd be happy to."

Elsa smiled. "Great, I'll pass it on. So, what would you like to see?"

Anna thought for a second. "Oh! How about The Moon Has Two Faces? I heard that's coming out soon, and I'd really like to see it."

Elsa frowned. "Hmm, haven't heard of that one." Gently pulling her hand away from Anna's, she fished out her phone and typed the movie's name into her search bar. When the results came up, she blanched. "A…romance movie?"

"Yeah, based on the book," Anna said, oblivious to her sister's discomfort. "I've read all the books in the series, and now the first one's finally being adapted."

"Oh," said Elsa. "I see."

The awkwardness she had been trying to tamp down now flared up again. A fake date was one thing, but going to see an R-rated romance movie with her sister? That'd just be all sorts of awkward.

She looked at the release date, and breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, we can't do that one," she said. "It doesn't come out for two weeks."

"Oh," said Anna, a little disappointed. "Well, what opens this week?"

Elsa swiped downward, looking at the other upcoming new releases. "Oh," she said recognizing one. "This one looks good," she said, handing the phone to her sister.

Anna looked. "Khrush?" she said. "A Bollywood movie?"

"Jasmine got me into these," Elsa explained. "They're like, action, drama, comedy, suspense – basically every genre of movie, rolled into one."

Anna seemed intrigued. "Really," she said.

"Unless you had something else you wanted to see," Elsa said quickly.

Anna looked at the other movies on display. "Nope," she said, handing the phone back. "That sounds good to me."

"Great," Elsa said. "This Friday at 7pm?"

"Sure thing. See you there." Anna said. "Oops, uh, I mean, I'll see Elsa Schneider there, I guess," she amended.

Elsa chuckled. "I guess I made this a little overcomplicated," she said apologetically.

Anna laughed. "It's fine," she said. She leaned into her sister's shoulder. "Double the Elsas means double the hugs, right?"

Elsa laughed and squeezed Anna's shoulder in response. Anna sighed happily.

That's not quite how it works. But if you want more hugs, I'll give you all the hugs you need.