Chapter twenty two

The best

"Zeke Yelinek," the MC said. Onstage, a gangly blond boy stepped forward and received his diploma. He shook hands with the man who gave it to him, then walked offstage and joined the rest of the class of 2019.

The crowded auditorium applauded, all the attending parents and siblings celebrating the last wave of graduates. Elsa was sitting near the front, and though her attention had been waning for the last 20 minutes or so, she perked up now. She knew what was coming next.

"And now," the MC said, "the class valedictorian will deliver a speech for the class of 2019." He stepped away from the podium, taking a spot on the side of the stage and clasping his hands in front of him.

The audience applauded again as Anna stepped back up onto the stage, almost stumbling as she climbed the steps but recovering in time. Elsa clapped vigorously, and Anna shot her a quick grin as she approached the podium.

She adjusted the microphone down from where the tall MC had had it, and pulled out the notes that Elsa knew she would hardly even need to glance at and set them on the podium. She looked out at the hundreds of assembled people and spoke without fear.

"Class of 2019," she began. "How are you feeling right now? Excited? Nervous? Scared? Me, I'm pretty darn terrified." She flashed a charismatic grin. "And I know what you're thinking – if the valedictorian is scared, what hope does everyone else have?" A good-natured chuckle rippled through the auditorium. "But it's true, I'm nervous for the future. I think everyone is – how could we not be? Some of us are moving on to college, some are going straight to work, but we're all leaving our comfort zones. We're setting out from what we've known for twelve long years, and moving into Terra Incognita.

"And that's okay," she continued. "For as long as humans have lived, we've always feared the unknown. And yet, time after time, we venture into it. European explorers sent ship after ship across the Atlantic, despite having no idea what was out there. Eventually, they found America – after some of them got eaten by sea monsters, of course." Another chuckle. Anna leaned into the mic. "Just kidding, Ms. Buchanan – I know there weren't really sea monsters, I promise." The audience laughed again, and the social studies teacher smiled at her.

"So let's get out there. Break some boundaries. Sail out into the unknown and see what we can find." She looked across the whole auditorium as she spoke, but now she was looking directly at Elsa. "Even though it's scary. Even though we're doing things we'd never even thought we could do. Even though we make choices we can never go back on. Because we can. We can, and we should. So…what are we waiting for?"

She extended her arms in a broad, sweeping motion as she finished her speech. The auditorium exploded into applause. Elsa clapped harder than anyone else there, and she flashed a huge smile at Anna, who beamed back at her.

The sound of applause emanated from the tablet in the seat next to her, as well, and Elsa had to fight to keep her lip from curling.

Her parents looked the same as they always had. Her mom's dark hair and her dad's blond hair were just visible under their hats, and they wore matching BDUs. They were clapping vigorously. Anna seemed happy to see them. That was nice, at least.

"Well said, Anna Arendelle," the MC said, having stepped back up to the podium as Anna left it. "Let's give one more round of applause to our valedictorian!"

The applause started up again, but now that her parents had caught her notice, that was all Elsa could think of. The applause had a kind of cadence to it, a four-syllable beat, and Elsa's mind generated words to go along with it.

You should be here. You should be here. You should be here.

xxxxxxx

Eventually, the ceremonies concluded. The class of 2019 filed out, leaving in groups so as not to flood the exits. Elsa made her way towards Anna, carrying their parents with her. Anna saw her coming and pushed through the crowd, the two meeting in the middle and stepping aside to an empty space.

"Hey, Elsa," she said, giving her a quick hug. "Hey, mom, hey dad!"

"Congratulations, sweetie!" her mom said. "You had an excellent speech!"

"We're so proud of you," her dad added.

"Group hug!" Anna shouted, opening her arms wide. Elsa held the tablet to her chest with one arm, and wrapped the other around her sister. It was a good hug, really, except for that tablet in the middle.

"So, how have you two been?" Anna asked once their hug was over.

"We've been pretty good," their mom said. "They've got us working around the clock here. There's never enough hands, but we do enjoy the work."

I'll say you do, thought Elsa.

"It's just a shame we couldn't be there with you today," their dad said. "But we're trying as hard as we can to get back home as soon as possible, both of us."

That's a lie. That's a damned lie.

Anna looked pained, but quickly ushered the look off her face. "It's fine," she said. "I know you two are fighting the good fight."

And still, she forgives you for it. I hope you two realize how fucking lucky you are for that.

"But we definitely will be home for Christmas, maybe Thanksgiving as well," their mom said. "We at least have enough say in the matter for that."

"All right!" Anna said. Elsa still had nothing to say to them.

The crowd had thinned, and the procession of newly graduated students was in motion. "I think they want a big group picture outside," Anna said. "So I gotta go, but I'll be right back, I promise!"

"That's okay, honey," their mom said. "We wanted to speak to Elsa in private, anyway."

Elsa felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, the kind you feel when you know you've broken the rules and you have no reason to suspect you've been caught, but every seemingly innocuous comment feels like it could be them toying with you. "Sure," she said. Anna began to walk away.

"Be sure to send us that photo as soon as you can!" their dad called. Anna nodded in assent, them waved goodbye.

Elsa walked back to her seat and sat down, holding the tablet at arm's length. "So, what is it?" she asked.

The two looked at each other, before her dad spoke up. "Anna told us about Hans, and what you did to him."

Elsa breathed an internal sigh of relief. "So, you gonna chastise me for being too violent?" she asked.

"Not at all," her mom said. "It sounds like he was a piece of shit and you took care of it."

"He was," Elsa said. "And I did."

"Well, we're proud of you," her dad said. "Anna's so lucky to have you as a sister."

Their compliments did nothing to sway her attitude. "That's what family is for," she said. "Whenever she needs help, I'm here for her." Emphasis on here.

The message was not lost on them, and they ducked their heads guiltily. Her dad spoke up. "We understand how you feel, Elsa."

No, you know how I feel. Big difference.

"It's hard, being apart for so long. It puts a strain on all of us. We're trying to change things, we really are. We know how much you love Anna-"

Oh, you wanna bet?

"-and you still feel like we abandoned her. We don't expect you to forgive us for that."

Good.

"But I'll tell you this," he continued. "We wouldn't have done what we did if we didn't trust you as completely as we do."

Now, suddenly, it was Elsa who felt a twinge of guilt. The voice in her head that had chastised her parents now turned inward on her.

Her mom chimed in. "Ever since you two were children, you've always kept an eye out for her, helped her when she needed it most, and showed her right from wrong."

Yeah, well these days I don't really know right from wrong that well myself. And we're still children, basically.

"There's nobody in this world that we'd trust more than you to look after her."

Another twinge.

"You've even suspended your college life to help take care of her," her dad added.

Elsa made a valiant effort to play her parents' words off. "Ah, I never had much of a college life to begin with," she said dismissively.

"Oh, come on, Elsa," her mom said knowingly. "You've already told us all about your many girlfriends."

Not all of them.

"To prioritize your sister over a girlfriend, that's what a good sister looks like."

Yeah? So what does it look like when I do the exact opposite of that? Twinge.

"Speaking of," her dad said, "Anna has mentioned that she thinks she's also a lesbian. I'm sure you helped her with that, too."

Yeah, you could say that.

Elsa passed off her cringe as a nod. "Yeah, I did," she said, wishing more than anything that this conversation would just end.

But they still had more rounds in their unintentional salvo. "It's good that she had you to help her with that. Questioning something so integral to her being, right when she was dealing with a breakup – it could've been so confusing for her."

Shut up, shut up! You don't deserve to make me feel this awful!

"She seems to have bounced back well, like she always does," her dad continued. "She'll find a girl who likes her, of that I have no doubt. And I'm also sure that if that girl breaks her heart, you'll deal with her just like you did with Hans."

It was a miracle that Elsa was still sitting up straight, with all the cringing she wanted to do. "No," she said. "I'll do much worse. If that girl causes Anna harm, I'll never let her live it down. Her life will be agony. She'll regret every lustful thought that ever entered her filthy little head."

And that's the stone cold truth.