On Today's Episode: The spies and the Jellyfish Pirates all return to the salon where this case started for the final showdown with Felicia and the Inventor, but when they reveal their trump card... well, let's just say things are about to get even hairier than they already are. Can the gang trounce this final obstacle in their path, or will they get all tangled up?
Act 3: Splitting Hairs
10:23 P.M. – The Mysterious Salon
Thankfully, the salon itself was still intact when the spies reached it, and apparently their villains were already inside it, according to Haruka's tracking program.
"All right, Felicia, you might as well just give it up right now!" Sam exclaimed, hoping to draw their villains out.
"Yeah, there's nowhere left for you to run!" May shouted. "Just accept it and take your anchor beanings!"
Suddenly, a small rumbling shook the immediate area.
"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure if I were you," Felicia's voice bellowed from the loudspeakers on the right side of the building. "Do you really think that we're going to go down that easy?"
"AT least let us show you our magnificent trump card," the Inventor proclaimed. "After all, we worked so very hard on it."
"Just stop your constant yapping and bring it on!" Souji challenged.
Suddenly, a long tendril of hair whipped out from the doorway of the salon and snaked around Dizzy's waist before pulling her inside the building.
The building that was now beginning to rumble and shake in response to that.
"Um, why is the salon shaking?!" Alex gasped.
"And why do I get the feeling that I'm not gonna like what's about to pop out of that building?" Clover wondered.
"Yeah, I'm getting the same feeling here," Nick quipped, preparing himself for whatever was going to emerge.
Just then, a much larger hair tendril exploded out from the west side of the building.
"Um..." Dawn gasped.
Then, another large tendril broke out of the east side wall.
"UM," Melissa quipped.
Two more large tendrils broke out of the front windows.
"...uh-oh," Alex groaned.
Nick quickly threw his hands outwards to encase the entire group in a large psychic bubble, and it turns out that he'd acted just in time, as the salon, the entire building, suddenly exploded, sending chunks of debris flying every which way. Thankfully, the building's remains harmlessly bounced off of Nick's psychic bubble.
"What the heck just happened?!" Nozomi shouted. "Why did the salon just explode?!"
Nick and May both looked upwards to see the exact reason for that.
"...oh, you have got to be kidding me," Nick groaned.
"That's just what I was about to say," May replied.
Hanging in the air just above where the salon had just been was a gigantic creature made completely of multiple different kinds of hair, resembling the Japanese kaiju Destoroyah. Felicia and the Inventor were riding on its neck, while Dizzy was entangled around its chest area.
"You son of a bitch, you made another freakin' kaiju?!" Bridget shouted.
"It seemed appropriate," the Inventor admitted.
"Now, we have an appointment with destroying your precious little city," Felicia laughed. "Farewell, spies!"
With that, the Hair Destoroyah flew off towards downtown Tachikawa.
"Would it be okay if I ask why there's a kaiju heading towards the downtown area?!" Fena gasped.
"That's something that happens a lot, too," Haruka admitted.
"Come on, everyone, we have to stop that thing and get Dizzy untangled from it!" May shouted. "Let's move, move, move!"
Fena and Mira were at least a bit intimidated by the kaiju.
"I never dealt with something like this!" Fena chastised.
"I'm getting used to it," Blaine replied.
"And we certainly wish this wasn't a norm from our rogues' gallery," Nick added as he jumped out of the way.
"Tell me about it," Haruka chastised.
The Inventor and Felicia were cackling at the spies dodging their attacks every which way, thinking there was nothing they could do.
"Make it easy on yourselves," The Inventor cackled to the spies.
"Not even for payment!" Mat shouted.
"All right, this is getting nowhere!" Sam chastised.
"What's on the mind, Sammy?" Clover wondered.
Before anybody could do anything, the Inventor used some more SUDS to try to turn the team against each other.
"Move out of the way!" Alex exclaimed as she dodged some SUDS.
"Guys, that stuff's bad news!" Sam called out to the Jellyfish Pirates.
"Take it from us," Clover added. "That crap turned us against each other!"
"Noted," Mira called out.
"We won't let it happen to us," Yuki remarked.
"We're not gonna let them try!" Mat proclaimed.
With that, he and Britney used their Jet Pack Backpacks.
"What's on your mind, Mat?" Britney wondered.
Mat then got out the Dynamite on a Stick, and his Ice King Cologne; Britney immediately knew what he was thinking.
To make things better, Bridget and Nozomi were flying up, too via their Jet Pack Backpacks.
"Distract 'em, girls," Britney told Bridget and Nozomi.
"Got it," Bridget quipped.
"You want us to saw you like flies?!" Felicia cackled. "Well, then we'd be glad to oblige!"
The Hair Destoroyah swiped at Bridget as she flew around it, giving Nozomi the perfect opportunity to fire a Cyclone Blast Hairdryer into its main body, sending it stumbling backwards.
While all that was going on, Mat and Britney dropped the Dynamite on a Stick into both arm gun barrels and used the Ice King Cologne and Ice Queen Perfume on both arms.
"Ah, the old-school tricks like that never get old," Britney quipped.
There was an explosion inside the barrels, which stunned both the Inventor and Felicia Mane.
"CHECKMATE!" May proclaimed.
"Great thinking, guys!" Sam cheered.
Nobody celebrated too soon when the Hair Destoroyah started moving forward.
"This isn't over!" Felicia growled at the spies. "There's nothing you can do to stop us!"
"Maybe stop proclaiming your victory before you've even gotten started on your big scheme?!" Dizzy shouted, still struggling against the hair tendrils that were keeping her tied to the Hair Destoroyah. "And seriously, why Destoroyah?! That thing's a pansy compared to the Big G!"
"It still killed Godzilla Jr. in the end," the Inventor proclaimed.
"Yeah, Junior! And when that happened, the Big G annihilated Destoroyah for daring to kill his kid!" Dizzy retorted.
"Do you seriously want us to drop you?" Felicia taunted. "Because we can and will do it if you don't shut your trap."
"Really, that just feels like an empty threat to me," Dizzy shot back. "Because even if you do decide to drop me, my friends down there can just fly up and catch me before I even get close to the ground."
"And what makes you think we're going to let that happen?" the Inventor cackled.
Felicia and the Inventor were so caught up in their taunting that they failed to notice May flying upwards to bash the Hair Destoroyah in the head with her anchor, stunning the hairy beast long enough for Nick to dart in and slash at the part of the Hair Destoroyah that was keeping Dizzy restrained, cutting her bindings and allowing Nick to safely ferry her back down to the ground.
"That's what," Nick proclaimed, firing a Final Shine Attack into the Hair Destoroyah's body.
Once it had recovered, Felicia steered the Hair Destoroyah away from the current area.
"Wait, they're just chickening out?" Souji quipped.
"I don't think it's that simple," Haruka responded. "They're heading for the Skywhirl Tower!"
"Oh, that can't be any sort of good," Dizzy stated. "We'd better make with the hurrying!"
10:56 P.M. – The Skywhirl Tower
"Any sign of mister hairy kaiju?" May asked once the group had reached the Skywhirl Tower.
"They're up there!" Haruka exclaimed, pointing to the very top of the tower where the Hair Destoroyah was floating above it.
"Can we get up there in time?" Fena wondered.
"If we take the express way," Nick responded, covering the entire group in a large psychic bubble so he could ferry it upwards, towards their target.
"Why do you always insist on following us wherever we go?!" Felicia exclaimed when the spies all landed on the tower floor.
"Um, maybe because you're both psychopaths who want to destroy our hometown with a kaiju made out of hair?!" Souji shot back.
"And just who do you think you are, ordering us around?!" the Inventor laughed.
"Oh, I'm very glad you asked that," Mira proclaimed. "Let's give him the big speech, everyone!"
All eight members of the Jellyfish Pirates got into position.
"We are the guardians of Tachikawa!" May proclaimed.
"The worst nightmare of bullies everywhere," Mira proclaimed.
"Determined to protect the innocent!" Yuki exclaimed.
"Defending the dreams of the students!" April exclaimed.
"Putting troublemakers in their place," Souji continued.
"Making school life a fun place to be," Akira stated.
"Sticking it to anyone who would try to knock us down!" Dizzy shouted.
"And never forgetting our own dreams!" Fena finished.
"We are the Jellyfish Pirates!" all eight members exclaimed.
The spies couldn't help but applaud the big speech, even as Felicia and the Inventor looked more confused than anyone.
"Spies, pirates, what does it matter?!" Felicia growled. "You're all scum who needs to be eliminated from this world post-haste!"
The Hair Destoroyah roared loudly before swooping in to attack the spies directly, only to bounce off a psychic barrier projected by Nick.
"Hey, don't interrupt someone when they're speech-ing," Nick taunted.
"Okay, serious time now, we need to find a way to stop this thing before it tears up the tower," Sam proclaimed. "Anyone have any ideas?"
"I can help, Sam!" RiCO's voice responded, making Sam open up her X-Powder to see RiCO on the screen. "I just finished my analysis of your kaiju problem, and there's a big weak point at the spot on its back that connects its tail. Cut that part up, and the whole thing's as good as unraveled!"
"Thanks for the pointers, RiCO!" Alex exclaimed. "Now let's go give this thing a bad hair day."
"Oh, now you're resorting to cheap puns?!" Felicia growled as the Hair Destoroyah whipped its tail out to try and knock the spies out of the air as they approached it.
"Hey, Mat, I think I know how to open this thing up," Melissa quipped.
"I'm game," Mat replied.
"You can all just say goodbye to this world!" the Inventor shouted as the spies continued to avoid the Hair Destoroyah's claw strikes. "This is where we wash our hands of every last one of you!"
As the Hair Destoroyah inched closer to the tower, Mat and Melissa made their move, Mat diving under the hairy beast to freeze its legs with some Ice King Cologne, while Melissa flew behind it and started sucking it back with an Insanely Powerful Portable Vacuum, even sucking small hairs off of the beast's body.
"There's your chance!" Melissa shouted. "Finish that thing off, big bro!"
Nick just nodded, flying upwards, then diving downwards, using a psychic blade to slash at the point on the Hair Destoroyah's back between its spine and its tail, just where RiCO had instructed them to attack.
The Hair Destoroyah hung in the hair for a few seconds before it literally came apart at the seams, the hairs that made up its body unraveling and falling apart. Before Felicia and the Inventor could start falling, though, Nick raised his right hand to encase the two villains inside a psychic bubble.
"See, what did I tell you?" Dizzy taunted. "Pansy."
"Hey, there's a helicopter coming," Fena quipped. "Is that a good or bad thing?"
"That's just our boss," Sam answered. "Honestly, his timing is still on point even after all these years."
"Now please stay in your cell for once," Nick quipped as he flicked his hand out to send the bubbled villains towards Jerry's copter.
"Well, everyone, I'd say that's a definite 'case closed'," May laughed. "How about we get off of this tower and see what the boss man has to say?"
"Yeah, let's please do that," Fena stuttered. "We're really high up, and... I'm not too good with heights..."
"Trust me, Fena, I know that feeling," Mira laughed as Nick bubbled the group up again so he could ferry them over to the helicopter.
"Another great job, everyone," Jerry commended.
"Thanks, Jer," Sam quipped.
"And I owe all of you my thanks for getting me freed from that Felicia Mane wacko," Dizzy added.
"Our pleasure," Haruka replied.
"Any chance you might come back to Malibu to hang with us?" Alex wondered.
"As much as we'd like to say 'yes,' we unfortunately can't," Mira answered.
"Just like with you guys, the life of a Jellyfish Pirate is never over," Souji stated.
"I should know," May quipped, having been a Jellyfish Pirate before. "You guys take care of yourselves, got it?"
"We could say the same to you, May," Souji laughed. "Don't go getting into too much trouble, 'kay?"
"Oh, sure, you always say that," May teased as the Jellyfish Pirates moved in for one last group hug.
8:59 A.M. – Malibu University – The Spies' Penthouse
("Orange" by Lil'B plays)
"Super glad that mission's over," Mat told everyone after the next morning came.
"Totally," Clover replied as she got some breakfast.
"At least we can relax this coming weekend," Alex quipped.
"I'll say," Britney replied in agreement.
"And be ready for the Spring semester to be over," Nick added. "I'm so due for a summer break about now..."
"Just hold on, bro," Mat laughed. "Just a few weeks to go."
"Speaking of which, Mat," May spoke up. "I'm guessing Chad Reed's on his way to the Supercross title?"
"At this point... I'm a bit worried after the last race in Detroit," Mat replied.
"Worried?!" Haruka chastised. "I thought he had a healthy lead last time..."
"Well, he DID have a 27-point lead after he won the Dallas race and Windham took a 4th behind Yamaha's Josh Hill and Honda's Davi Millsaps," Mat explained. "But Reed injured a shoulder in practice at Detroit and despite taking a provisional to make the main, he crashed in the first turn, went a lap down, and finished in 12th; Windham got a 3rd behind Millsaps and Tim Ferry, and picked up 11 points on Reed to trim it to 16."
"I thought you were gonna say that he never rode at all," Bridget stated.
"Sitting out a race is practically unknown territory to someone like Chad Reed," Mat chuckled.
"Where're they racing next?" Alex wondered.
"The Edward Jones Dome in St. Louis," Mat answered. "3 races to go in the 2008 Supercross season."
"Well, a 16-point lead should be sizeable, isn't it?" Nick deduced.
"Yeah, but it could all go away if Reed's not careful," Mat pointed out.
"True," Clover stated. "Sounds a lot like Alex when Britney came on board."
"Don't remind me," Alex groaned.
Later, after everyone had their breakfasts – and Blaine had come by to see Clover – some of the spies were relaxing at the penthouse pool... only for May to accidentally cannonball on top of Melissa.
"OOF" was the extent of what Melissa could get out before she was unintentionally dunked by May, sputtering slightly as she resurfaced.
May could only look suitably embarrassed at what she'd done, only to yelp in shock when Melissa grabbed her by the legs and yanked her underwater in retaliation.
"Can I say I totally saw that coming?" Alex giggled.
"Gotta watch where you're cannonballin', May," Nick laughed.
"Oh, is that a fact?" May chuckled as she swam over faster than Nick could react to and yanked him into the pool as well.
"All right-y, May, if it's a battle you want, then by gum you're gonna get one!" Alex proclaimed as she dove into the pool. "Nobody dunks my boyfriend but me!"
"Remember, you and I both share girlfriend status with Nick, so I should be allowed to dunk him, too!" May exclaimed as she and Alex began to splash each other furiously.
"This is uber-surreal," Nozomi laughed. "But they're definitely having fun, so I say we join in this epic water battle!"
"Couldn't have said it better myself, Nozomi," Britney replied. "Hope you're prepared to reap what you sow, Alex!"
And so, another glorious water battle commenced.
11:34 A.M. – Somewhere in Beverly Hills
Sortiliena still couldn't believe that she'd almost blown her own cover back in Tachikawa. Even worse, she knew that May hadn't meant any harm by using the nickname, but her emotions had gotten the better of her in the end.
"Why... why did I...?" Sortiliena gasped, opening her X-Powder to once again glance at a picture she'd taken of herself and her student Ronye on the day she'd started studying under Sortiliena.
Her wistful remembrance was interrupted by the ringing of her 'other' communicator, which most likely meant that he was calling her again.
"...what?" Sortiliena quipped, indicating that she was in no mood for Terrence at the moment.
"I just wanted to inform you that I may be cashing in that favor soon," Terrence responded on the other end. "So, make sure you're ready to make your move when I tell you."
"And what about Ronye?" Sortiliena growled. "Remember, Terrence, if you hurt her in any way..."
"Keep your shorts on, 'Liena'," Terrence chuckled, knowing it still got a rise out of her. "She's still unharmed. Whether or not she stays unhurt all depends on you playing ball. So don't disappoint me."
A loud click signaled the end of the call.
Sortiliena finally allowed a tear to slip out.
Totally Spies: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
~The End~
Final Note from Mat49324: Well, we finished yet another project. Hope you enjoyed this one, and you stay tuned for our next project, which has a villain we've not seen since our first season. I'll leave it at that, and hand it off to The Blue Time Ranger if there's any final thoughts he'd like to share.
Final Note from The Blue Time Ranger: And that's a wrap! I'll admit, that one got hairy near the end (I am 1000% not sorry, lol), but things seemed to work out! And about Sortiliena, it won't be too much longer before we get some answers about that, so just hang in there.
Anyways! Next time on The New Adventures, a certain 'master of disguise' (in MASSIVE quotation marks) has returned for his first bout since the first season of The New Adventures, but what deranged plan does he have in store this time? You'll all find out in Starting a Snit Storm, which will be posted by Mat. So, until then, have a fantastic day, don't listen to the screeching morons, enjoy this preview of Starting a Snit Storm, and we'll see you next mission!
"Yes, it's all coming together now, isn't it?"
Eugene Snit couldn't help but smile as he looked over everything he'd need for his latest scheme. He'd finally managed to escape from the containment facility after quite a while, given W.O.O.H.P. had moved most of its prisoners to a different facility while another one was under construction, thus he'd found a perfect opportunity to make his escape.
Thankfully, the baseline of his disguise technology was still intact, so he'd spent most of his time after escaping in fixing up and perfecting it to make sure it would be ready for whatever his new scheme would be.
And after a bit of thinking, he'd come up with the perfect idea.
Instead of just going after one person to mess with their hearts... why not go after multiple people?
Say... the entire student body of Malibu University?
"I'm so ingenious, I amaze even myself sometimes," Snit cackled as he strapped on his disguise device to test it out. He cycled through three different disguises until he was sure they were foolproof and ready to act.
But who to go after first?
Snit glanced at a readout of many different Mali-U students until he noticed someone interesting on the list.
"Ooh, that'll do nicely," Snit laughed. "I hope you're all ready, you little brats. It's time to say goodbye to your relationships, and I mean it this time."
To be continued in Totally Spies: Starting a Snit Storm...