Hey, y'all! I'm so excited that y'all are enjoying the double updates, so I'm going to give you a couple more. This next update is more of a 3-4 parter, but I'm going to split it in half. The first two will be posted today and the next two within a week or so. Also, we're now coming up on the last 10-ish chapters of this fic, so I just wanted to say thanks so much again for the reviews, follows, allat. Especially on the last update! I'm still pretty new to this, so knowing that y'all like Samcedes the way I'm writing them just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside lol! Ok, enough of that. Enjoy!
The next morning, the entire Jones household was abuzz with excitement for Sam's big day.
But Mercedes was freaking out. After getting ready, she sat on her bed to have her daily talk with her mom. She always carved out some time in the morning or night (and sometimes both) to talk to her, just the two of them. Even though she wasn't there, something about "talking" to her mom was the one thing that kept her sane all these years. On some days, she felt that Darlene could hear her.
"So, you know how I told you there was something about Sam? Something that I just couldn't figure out? Well," she sighed, "needless to say it's been figured out. And you probably already know this. Hell, you probably knew from the moment I told you about him. I love him, Mom." She paused. "Or I'm in love with him? I'm not really sure of the difference yet given that this has never happened to me before. And now I feel more confused than ever. Noah and I are doing good and so are Sam and Quinn, surprisingly. Those are two good relationships and three people that I really care about. And now, someone's going to get hurt. I can feel it. God, this is exactly what I was trying to avoid!" She tried to breathe through her anxiety, but it only worked until she moved on to her next topic.
"I've decided to see Dad tomorrow, which I'm already regretting. A part of me feels that if I lay everything on the table, I can move past whatever has been going on with me since that night. But what if he lies about it? What if he tells me I heard wrong or it never happened? What if he doesn't even remember? Then what? I'm so lost on everything, Mom. Nothing makes sense anymore." Tears threatened to appear. "I wish you were here. I need you." She stood up and shook out her limbs. "I've got to go. Sam has the state championship today and I don't want to make him late. I love you and I'll talk to you later."
On his way to breakfast, Sam bumped into Mercedes in the hallway. "You're wearing your glasses again."
She tried to nod happily. "I've decided I feel good about myself in them, so I'm wearing them. Permanently. Gotta get some new frames, though. Something a little more stylish."
"Well, go you." He congratulated her with a smile. "You okay? You look upset."
"I'm fine." She offered him a small grin, easing his worries.
At breakfast, Amaiya had many, many questions as always. "Will you get money when you win? Like they do in the Super Bowl?"
Sam shook his head. "But we do get rings and a really big trophy. It's huge. Like," he stretched his arms out as far as he could and strained, "THIS BIG."
She laughed. "That's so cool. So, what happens when you win? What do you do?"
He shrugged. "We celebrate. Probably at some restaurant somewhere. That's pretty much it."
"No parties?"
This alerted Abeline. "Moonshine, what do you know about any parties?"
"Lots of high schoolers have parties." She shrugged. "That's how they celebrate everything."
Mercedes rolled her eyes. "You just want to be invited to one. Newsflash, 8-year-olds aren't welcome." She poked her playfully.
Squirming away from her, Amaiya said, "You don't know that! Sam, you'd invite me to your celebration party, right?"
Sam smirked as if it were obvious. "Oh, for sure. You'd be number one on my guest list."
Mercedes moved to the sink to clean her plate. "Don't encourage her. You'll just make it worse."'
"Speaking of celebrations," said Abeline, "I just hate that we won't be there to see you kick butt tonight." The Jones women had planned a trip that weekend to see some of their family. She was going to let Sam tag along, but she thought he may feel uncomfortable. He also had the championship game, so she decided it would be best for him to stay behind. She asked Mercedes to stay with him, to which she agreed, so it would be just the two teenagers until Sunday morning.
"It's okay, Ms. Abby. I promise. I know you really wanted to be there. Plus, I've got Cedes, so all's not lost."
With her back to everyone at the sink, Mercedes beamed. She wasn't going to jeopardize what she had with Noah; they'd been doing too well. Plus, she didn't want to screw things up for Sam, even if he said that she couldn't. Still, knowing that he felt that way about her, it made her heart skip a beat. Hell, more like 10.
"Are you nervous?" Amaiya asked.
Hearing that, Mercedes turned her head to look at Sam, whose head turned to look at her. They shared an amused look.
"Nah," Sam said, waving the smaller girl off. "We're gonna hand the other team their butts on a platter."
Code red. Now. Somewhere private?
Just as she pulled into the school parking lot and Sam left the car, Mercedes sent a text to a group chat she'd made with Santana, Kurt, and Tina. It was the chat for anything she and Sam related.
Santana, who'd ridden with her and also left the car, was the first to reply.
1. What in god's name could've happened in the five seconds since I got out of your car?
2. Mrs. Dunner's classroom, 228.
Mercedes was the last to reach the room.
Kurt immediately raced over to her. "Are you okay? What happened? No one jumped you in the parking lot or anything, did they? Any injuries?" He began checking her for battle scars.
"You're not serious, Kurt," Santana said, hoping not. "Does she look like she was in a fucking battle royale to you?" She pulled him over to where she was and rolled her eyes, "Simplemente vergonzoso."
Mercedes closed the door behind her. "Are you guys sure no one's going to walk in on us? There are no classes in here or anything?"
Santana waved her off. "Please. Mrs. Dunner's taken a sabbatical. There haven't been any classes here all year."
Kurt inspected his nails and said, "Yeah, she and Brittany would know since they're always in here having—"
"So, what's going on?" She cut him off before he could finish his jab. "Is this about the date last night?"
Without revealing the details of the conversation, Mercedes told them about what happened on the elevator. "This is bad. This is so bad! How can I love him when I don't even love Noah yet?"
Her friends weren't the least bit shocked.
"I thought we established that when you kissed him," Santana said, only being half-sarcastic.
Kurt and Tina gasped, "You kissed him?"
"Santana!" Mercedes called her friend out.
"Oh, shit! I forgot they didn't know. My bad," she sincerely apologized.
"Well, now that the cat's out of the bag, yes. I kissed him twice. The first time after the homecoming game and-"
"You kissed him TWICE?" All three of their jaws dropped.
"The second time wasn't a 'kiss' kiss, it was like a 'prove-a-point' kiss. About a month after our first one."
As they got over the initial shock, Mercedes told them about how confused she was. She sat on the table across from them, watching as their reactions changed from bewilderment to sympathy to downright pity, which they knew she hated. She tried to ask them for advice, but they had a hard time helping. Knowing how deep this ran, it was hard for them to figure out a situation in which someone didn't get badly hurt.
The three of them figured that the best course of action was to be honest with Sam before anyone else. Then, they could establish once and for all what they were going to do. The teens spent almost their entire first period talking about it, but who cares? The massive love square in their friend group was a much more pressing issue than history or pre-cal.
They finally talked everything through and developed a plan: Mercedes would tell Sam she loved him tonight. After the game. She'd rip the bandaid off and get it over with. They stood up to leave, but Kurt noticed something still seemed off.
"What's wrong? Our plan is pretty great, no?"
Mercedes rushed to affirm that. "No, no, it is. And I'm so grateful to you guys for helping. It's just," she sat her backpack down on the table, "my mom used to always tell me that one day, I was going to find somebody, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, whatever, and I was going to kiss and hug on them the way she and my dad did." She smiled sadly thinking of the memory. "I forcefully refused, I was so repulsed by the idea. Then she'd tell me that one day, I was going to fall in love with one of those people, and every day after that would feel like the best day of my life. All because I loved someone."
Tina tried her hand at comforting her friend. "Just because things are a mess right now, it doesn't mean you and Sam can't still have a happy ending."
She shook her head. "It's not about that. I'm starting to realize that I'm falling in love for the first time and my mom's not here." As her tears pricked her eyes, she didn't even bother trying to stop them. "I got my first training bra at 11. I turned 16 and got my driver's license and my first car. Now, I'm 17 and I have my first love. She wasn't here for any of it. And she never will be." She sniffed. "Pretty soon, I'll have junior and senior prom, I'll be applying for colleges and going to one of them, and she just won't be there. What about when I get married? Or when I sing in front of thousands of people for the first time?" She listed just two of the things she'd thought about. "What other milestones and rites of passage will she miss? And will all of them feel like this? Because I am in love!" Her smile shone brightly for a second before it started to fade. "I'm in love and I can't even enjoy it because she's…" She fell into a squat and started weeping loudly.
Santana rushed to her side. "Oh, love." She hugged her before rubbing her back as she cried.
Her other friends followed suit instantly.
"It's not fair." Her mom always had a way of making the big things seem small. So much was wrong and all she wanted was for her mom to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. If not that, just to hear her voice one more time. Or hear her sing. But it would never happen. And it was moments like this that the realization hit her the hardest: her mom was gone. Forever. There was no getting her back.
Mercedes' friends sat on the floor with her for another 30 minutes, long enough for her to calm down. It was another period mostly missed, but their friend needed them and they weren't going to leave her.
Kurt was the first to speak in a while, "Let's get you home. Santana, get her keys. You can drive her home and I'll bring us back."
Santana did as told before Mercedes declined. "No, I need to stay."
She frowned. "Mercedes," she said with a tenderness she seldom used, "you need to go home, babe. You need to get some rest."
"No, I'm fine. I just had a moment. It's okay." Mercedes stood up, trying to ignore the god-awful post-meltdown headache.
"Cedes, whatever you need to get done, you can do it at home," Tina said. "We'll make sure to get your assignments before we leave. Right, guys?" She looked at Kurt and Santana, who nodded.
"Sam has his championship game today. He's been waiting for weeks for this and I'm the only person he'll have in the bleachers. If I go home right now, I'm not going to want to come back out. I'm staying here."
Her friends studied her before Kurt threw his hands up. "Fine. But we have to get you together. You look like Taylor Swift in the 'Blank Space' video. And that's being generous." He went straight into emergency management mode. "Tina, grab some facial wipes from your locker and some Visine from mine. Tana, get some ice with a couple of Ziplocs and get Mercedes' makeup from her locker. Oh," he snapped his fingers, "and someone get some Powerade from the vending machine. She needs electrolytes."
Santana eyed him. "If this were for anyone other than her," she pointed at Mercedes, "I'd pistol whip you for ordering me around like that."
He smiled cheekily. "Don't forget, Powerade is $1.50 instead of $1.25."
With the two of them gone Kurt gave Mercedes another hug. He'd lost his mom, too. Just a few months after she lost hers. He was there when she needed him and vice versa, but they didn't talk about it too much nowadays. Kurt still had a dad who loved him and did everything he could to protect him. They went through similar things, but their lives afterward were wildly different. Still, he could attest to missing his mom.
As they separated, he grabbed a few tissues and offered them to her cautiously. "Can I trust you to dab and not rub?"
She let out a quiet laugh and took them. Taking care to dab, she said, "Thanks for this. I know I probably look like the hottest of messes right now."
He waved her off. "Nothing a little liner on the waterline and some powder won't fix. We'll use the ice to help with the puffiness."
"And the eye drops?"
"Redness. I love you, but your eyeballs look like not-so-distant cousins of Mars," he quipped.
While she was still dabbing, Quinn rushed into the room. "I saw Tina in the hallway and she told me they all saw you just before first period. She said you looked like you were about to cry." She saw her cleaning her face. "What happened? What's going on?"
"Mom meltdown," Mercedes explained.
"Oh, no." Quinn hugged her tight. "Why are you still here? You should go home."
"We already tried," Kurt said.
"It's okay, Quinn. I'll be fine."
She sat on the table next to her and held her hand.
At around 2:00 p.m., all the football players had been called out of class to prepare for today's game. Mercedes snuck out of her last period, on Sam's way to the locker room, hoping to run into him.
"Waiting for me?"
She turned and saw Noah walking to the locker room with his gear in tow. She quickly lied. "Yeah, hey." She gave him a peck on his cheek. "Just wanted to wish you good luck tonight in case I don't get another chance."
He put his arm around her and they started walking to the locker room. "You're still coming, right? I've gotta have my girl in the stands cheering me on."
"I'll be there." While on their walk, Mercedes was on the lookout for Sam, who hadn't shown up yet.
"Awesome. Oh, and I was thinking that after we win tonight, you might want to do dinner at my house tomorrow? With my parents? They want to officially meet you."
"Noah, your parents already know me."
"As my friend. But now, you're officially my girlfriend." He grinned. "You wouldn't believe how long I've been waiting to say that. Anyways, they want to get to know you a little better. What do you say?"
"I don't know. My grandma and sister left for the weekend to see family. I don't really want to leave Sam alone. Plus, I've got some stuff of my own happening tomorrow." She hadn't yet told him that she was going to see her dad. Or that he was getting out.
Noah's face barely masked his annoyance. "You've spent the past three weekends doing stuff with him, you know?"
"He has no family except for me, Noah. That's why. I'm not spending time with him this weekend; I'm just staying at the house, where he'll also be. We have plenty more time for dinner with your parents."
"Do we?" He asked as they reached the locker room. He removed his arm from her. "Since your birthday, you've been really weird with me. Acting like you didn't want to spend time with me, avoiding me at work, not going for lunch with me off-campus anymore."
"Are you that self-absorbed that you're upset over me not getting lunch with you?"
"I'm not, I'm just saying that our routine has switched up. That's all. We're in a really great place and I don't want to lose that."
If she was honest, she didn't know what she wanted anymore. But her day was already far from being a good one and this wasn't helping. "Me neither. I know I've been a little distant. I've just been going through some stuff. But I'm working on it." They had been standing in the same spot for a few minutes and still no sign of Sam, so she let Noah go. "I'll think about dinner, okay? Just go get ready and have a great game."
"Thanks."
As she went to walk away, she watched him put his hand around her waist and pull her in for a kiss. They studied each other for a brief moment before she inched forward, gave him a light kiss, and headed back to class.
Mercedes had been trying to text Sam for the past hour with no response. She really wanted to see him before the game and wish him good luck in person. But seeing as how she and Tina were walking to the bleachers, there was little chance of that happening.
As they sat down, Mercedes remembered that she left a notebook of hers in the choir room earlier that day. She asked Tina, "Do you think the doors to the choir room would still be unlocked?"
"Probably. It's not like anyone really cares about security around here," she joked.
"True. I'll be back in a bit."
She decided to enter the school through the doors closest to the locker room in hopes of a sliver of a chance of running into Sam, but nothing. When she reached the choir room, she noticed that the door was already opened and the lights were on. She walked in to find Sam pacing. "Sam?"
Startled, he jumped around to see who called his name. He let out a breath when he saw it was her. "Thank God."
"What happened?"
"What happened is I'm freaking the fuck out. Look, I know we were all jokey-jokey about it last night, but this is it, Mercedes. In a few hours, I'll either be headed for the big leagues or nowhere at all."
"I know."
"No, you don't know. Beiste invited some major recruiters. UA, Clemson, Ohio State major. He just told me 20 minutes ago. Cedes, I'm not prepared for this. I was just going to play football tonight. If these recruiters don't like me…" he stared at her helplessly.
"Do you remember your first game here?"
He nodded.
"Do you remember how you begged me to come because all you wanted was to have someone there to support you?"
"I didn't beg." He denied that portion of her statement.
She rolled her eyes at him. "Oh please, you begged."
He smirked. "Maybe a little." He pinched his finger close together. "Like that much."
"Mmhmm. Anywho, I said yes. I put on the face paint and made the poster..."
"Now that, I remember very clearly. Still 'rotting for the quarterback'?"
"Very funny. Look, the point of me saying this is to point out how far you've come. A couple of months ago, you were so excited to have three nobodies there. Today, you have people who are going out of their way to come and see you. A lot has changed for you. But you know what hasn't?"
He didn't.
"How much you love the game," she said. "I'd be lying if I said I thought throwing around an inflated leather sack was even remotely interesting to me. Still isn't." She laughed. "But I kept coming back because I could tell on and off that field how much you loved playing. So don't think of who's here tonight and what it all means. Just think of how much you love it and how far you've come. Because that's what tonight is about. Not a chance to impress recruiters or make people you don't even know proud."
After a brief silence, he said, "For the record, you, Mercedes Jones, are far from a nobody."
She grinned.
"Thank you."
"You can thank me by getting your ass out there winning this thing."
He laughed before hugging her. For just a second as they separated, he thought about going for it and kissing her. It would've been so easy and made so much sense, seeing as how they were standing in the same room where they had their first kiss. But he knew he couldn't.
"Really quick, can I make sure you're okay again? You still seem a…" He couldn't find the word this time.
She shook her head, not allowing him to worry about her. "I told you this morning, I'm good. This night is about you. Focus on that." But she couldn't deny it. Him noticing that something was wrong with her when Noah didn't seem to notice? Especially when he was the one who needed her help? It made her love him even more. She grabbed her journal and left the room before backtracking and saying, "Sam?"
"Yeah?"
"Not that it means anything, but to me, you've already won."
The game was tight. Sam had never been in a closer one and he was sure many of his teammates could say the same. It was almost as if the other team knew what they were going to do before they even did it. Now, they were in the fourth quarter of the game with 2 minutes left and down 3 points. He could feel his future slipping out of his hands. Not just with football, but with Mercedes.
Their plan was simple: it was going to be just like his first game as head QB (he'd have to thank Mercedes for reminding him of that night). He would rush the ball in a Hail Mary. There was no way the other team would see it coming with so much time left on the clock. It was risky, but it would work. Sam had been watching the other team and making a mental note of how they utilized their players. As long as he was fast enough, there was little chance of anyone being able to stop him.
None of his calculations changed the fact that Sam was literally shaking. As the players jogged back out to the field, Sam could feel his stomach in his throat. He was about to lower himself to the ground when something told him to look up. His eyes immediately went to Mercedes… taking her hoodie off? Considering the fact that it was December and 53° outside, he was sure he was hallucinating. Then, he saw what she was wearing under it.
Tina looked at her friend beside her. "We're a few minutes away from losing a state championship and you want to try your hand at getting frostbite?"
As Mercedes finished pulling her hoodie off, she shook her head. "Nope. Because we're not gonna lose," she said confidently before holding her shirt out for Tina to read it.
Tina read it and scoffed. "Oh, my god. You really do love him."
"Shut up."
On the field, Sam laughed to himself. Her t-shirt had a picture of the sign she made for his first game, "Rotting for the quarterback." He could see it even from the field. It was then that he understood what Mercedes meant in the choir room.
He thought he had no chance in hell of making something of himself after his mom's last overdose. He was determined not to find a place in the Jones home or this city. Yet somehow, here he was. He'd not only found a family in Mercedes and her family and friends, but he was already making a name for himself as an athlete. No matter what the outcome of tonight's game was, Sam had beat the odds. Win or lose, that was enough for him. And win or lose, Mercedes would hear him tell her he was in love with her before the night was through.
Mercedes held her shirt out for him with a shy smile. There were so many things she wanted to say to him at that moment, but this would have to do.
Once the ball was snapped, Sam took off with it, prepared to leave it all out on the field, just like Mercedes said. He could hear the crowd cheering as he bobbed and weaved through his opponents, the end zone coming more and more within his reach. He knew he was running fast, probably faster than he'd ever run before, but everything seemed to move in slow motion.
It couldn't have been, though. Otherwise, he would've had time to move out of the way before a defensive lineman rushed toward him.
Mercedes watched as Sam was pulled to the ground. Hard. As he was going down, his helmet shot into the air, leaving him with no protection as he landed. As if that hadn't hurt enough, his helmet came down swiftly onto his face, prompting blood to go everywhere. Her smile fell as boos, gasps, and other frustrated noises took over the other spectators. Not only were they upset by the tackle, but Sam wasn't getting up.
"Oh, my god." Mercedes' eyes refused to leave the field as Coach Beiste raced over to him, motioning for the other players to give him some space. She watched as he called out to Sam, who lay motionless. "Get up," she whispered. "Get up." She looked at Tina. "Why is he not getting up?"
Tina squeezed her shoulder.
She felt her stomach drop as medics rushed out to the end zone with a gurney. "Oh, my god. What are they doing? What's happening?"
Tina started grabbing their belongings and handed Mercedes her hoodie before leading her out of the bleachers. "We have to go."
Mercedes didn't move. "Go? I'm not going anywhere, Tina! Are you crazy?"
"Cedes, they're probably taking him to the hospital. We need to go. Now. I'll drive."
Mercedes hurried down the steps with her while looking back and forth between their path and Sam, who was now being wheeled off of the field and into an ambulance.