Chapter 9
Rachel awakes with a smile on her face the next morning, stretching in bed before she pushes back the covers and picks out her clothing to go for a short run. The neighbourhood that they live in might not be the safest place in the world at night, but during the daylight hours; Rachel felt more than comfortable going out alone, reasonably sure that she wouldn't get mugged or worse. Pulling her hair into a ponytail, she smiled as she pushes back the curtain divider and heads out towards the kitchen; frowning a little as she hears Dani and Santana talking.
"What do you think he did last night?"
"I don't know, I called him before we went to bed and it sounded like he was in a bar" Dani replied quietly. "I really hope he didn't do something stupid"
"Do you think he would?" Santana asked and Rachel saw Dani shrug as she entered the kitchen.
"Hey Guys" Rachel said warmly, heading to the fridge to get her chilled water. "What's wrong?"
"Just talking" Santana replies, wearing a smile "Going for a run?"
"Yeah, It's starting to brighten up outside so I've started my 6am runs again" Rachel says, returning the smile. "I heard what you two were talking about"
"On that note, I should be heading to work; I'll see you two later today" Santana says, si ghing as she presses a kiss against her girlfriends lips before standing and heading towards the door.
Rachel watches her leave the apartment, biting her lip as she turns back and settles into the seat next to Dani. "You think James slept in his own bed last night?"
"I'd like to think he did" She replies, shrugging her shoulder. "I really would like to think he didn't get drunk and do something stupid"
"But he probably did" Rachel finishes wringing her hands. James cared about her right? Why would that be his reaction?
"I'm sorry Rachel" Dani says softly. "James is really fucked up when it comes to this"
"I just wish that he'd talk to me, you know" Rachel replies sighing. "That's what you do normally right? When you like someone, you talk to them"
"We both know that James doesn't deal with things normally" Dani says rubbing her forehead. "He doesn't do talking about his emotions; he'd rather pretend he doesn't have any than to talk about them"
"Because he got hurt by her" Rachel replies softly "I know that Dani, I just hoped he'd react a bit differently with me"
"I'm not going to lie to you Rachel" Dani says, reaching a hand across the table and squeezing hers. "James cares about you; but he's not as mature as he likes to think, not with this stuff. In many ways he's still that 18 year old that got his heart broke"
"I suppose you're right" Rachel sighs. "But I wouldn't hurt him"
"I know" Dani replies nodding "And so do he. Just give him a bit of time, alright?"
Rachel nods, smiling slightly when Dani speaks again in a reassuring tone. "Go and enjoy your run…well as much as you can anyway. I'll go home and check on James"
Rachel giggles, feeling her mood brighten as she nods at her. "Alright, I'll see you later Dani"
"Bye Rachel"
….
A few hours later and Rachel is working at the diner; fake smile plastered on her face as she serves customers, her eyes lingering on the clock as it comes into vision as she counts down the hours until her next break. She's been working for about three hours now and it's a Saturday afternoon which means that the place is packed with tourists looking around Broadway as well as the locals that come in. As it gets busier, the staff members are forced to perform more and more to satisfy the amount of people eating there and honestly, Rachel's feet are killing her.
At least one thing is off her mind; while she didn't speak to him, Dani confirmed when she met her at the diner about 4 that he was at least in his own bed. Dani said that she'd gone home and took a peak in James' room, the sound of his light snoring assuring her that everything was good and he hadn't been stabbed and left in an alleyway somewhere in the city. Dani has also assured her that it seemed like he had come home along, considering the take away she'd found lying around the kitchen along with the open bottle of whiskey; James didn't drink whiskey when he was with a girl. That knowledge alone made her feel a great deal better as she walked around the diner working.
A part of her was really, really angry and upset with him for reacting how he did. Rachel knew that he cared about her; why couldn't he just realise that and come talk to her? Why did he have to go and get so blindly, stupidly drunk? It was so at odds with the James she had grown to know over the past few months; that strong, independent, mature guy that she couldn't help but develop feelings for.
Can you really blame him? Rachel thought to herself. He had been put through the worst kind of hell by his ex, the woman he loved and she knew that James had never really dealt with the issue properly; instead closing himself and making himself hard to the world, to protect himself from getting hurt. Brody had done something horrible to her, but she had never reallytruly loved him. Rachel recognised that now, he had been someone she had needed to try and put Finn out of her head; she had mistaken that for love, but truly it was nothing like it.
About half an hour later and Rachel sees the person that she's been waiting to see so badly. Her attention is on the conversation she's having with Joe, one of the waiters, when she hears his voice.
"Sup Dude" James asks, she can see a slight smile on his face as he stands at a side angle talking to Max; fist bumping the guy before he starts walking towards the kitchen where the coat room is located for employees.
"Just a second, Joe" Rachel says with a small smile; turning and walking quickly to try and catch James. She arrives at the door just as he reaches it. "James, hey"
She's taken aback when he doesn't response, simply continues on; pushing the double doors open and strides through, his eyes set dead ahead the entire time. Rachel frowns, he ignored her? James never ignored her. Taking a deep breath, she pushed the doors open and walked in; He doesn't get to ignore me, not now; not with what's going on between us.
Rachel see's him moving about the kitchen, back turned to her as Jack gives her a small smile. "James?"
"Yeah what?" He replies, not turning to look at her. Rachel hears his voice so cold, as if he doesn't care about what she has to say; as if they haven't been friends for the past three months, and as if they haven't both got feelings for one another.
"Are you okay?" She asks in a tender voice, almost begging him to talk to her.
"Fine" He replies again and she hears him sigh. "Did you want something Rachel? I've got work to do"
Rachel heart almost breaks at how dismissively he talks to her. The way he says her name is so alien to her, it holds none of the normal softness and affection. She can see that even Jake is confused by the way the guys eyebrows meet in a V. Struggling to stop her eyes from filling, Rachel speaks quietly before leaving the room; "No"
"Rachel!" She hears Dani's voice as she strides out of the kitchen, heading towards the front door; she has to get some air, being in that room with him and hearing him treat her like a stranger. She can't handle it. Rachel had spent the last couple of days accepting that James cared about her just as much as she cared about him; but to hear him talk to her like that, all she could think about was that she'd ruined everything between them.
As soon as she's a few feet away from the diner, Rachel feels Dani pull her into an embrace as she lets tears run down her cheeks.
"Rachel, what's wrong sweetie?" Dani asks as she releases her from the tight hug after a few seconds.
"James hates me" Rachel admits, her voice weak. "He doesn't care about me"
"What? No he doesn't hate you, Rachel-"
"No! He does, you didn't hear the way he just spoke to me; like he didn't even know me" Rachel says, sobbing slightly. "I've ruined everything"
"Sweetie" Dani says, feeling the girls hands cup her face. "Don't cry; I'll speak to James when it gets a bit quiet okay? We'll sort this out, but I promise; I promise you, James doesn't hate you"
"Okay" Rachel says nodding after a few moments. She lets Dani lead back to the diner after she wipes her face on a handkerchief, putting on a fake smile to hide how she's really feeling while she works. The smile masking the fact that Rachel is sure that things with James have changed for good; and she isn't sure that she likes exactly how they have.
…
Rachel knows exactly when Dani goes to speak to James. The diner quietens down a couple of hours later, around about 10pm and its probably a good thing to; Rachel is sat refilling napkin holders at a table at the far right of the diner when she sees Dani walk into the kitchen.
"You okay, Rachel?" Santana's voice comes and she opens her eyes to see her friend sat down opposite at the booth. Santana had worked the early afternoon shift from about 7 through till 2 and then gone home for a break before coming back to do the graveyard shift from 9pm.
"No" She replies, shaking her head slightly. "I don't like they are arguing about me"
"Well if asshole wasn't such a massive fucking dick" Santana says, taking some of the napkins and helping her with the task. "Then Dani wouldn't have to scream at him and call him a bastard"
Rachel smiles sadly, chewing her bottom lip as she tries to focus on the work instead of the fact that she can catch a little bit of what Dani is saying. "At least there's no customers in here right now"
"I don't know, I'd like to see Gunther give James some shit for once" Santana says amused and both of them giggle a little bit. It doesn't last longer than a couple of seconds before the kitchen doors slam open and a furious looking Dani storms through.
As she sits down in the chair next to Santana, Rachel gulps at the look of anger on her face; Dani is probably the most relaxed person in the world who never gets worked up about anything.
"You okay babe?" Santana asks cautiously, touching her girlfriends arm gently.
"He's infuriating sometimes" Dani replies softly, sighing as she rubs her face with one of her hands.
"What did he say?" Rachel asks calmly, gripping a napkin in her hand. "Is he okay?"
"Oh he won't be when I get him home later" Dani replied, shaking her head again. "I'm going to fuck kil him"
"Calm down, babe" Santana says soothingly, gripping her hand. "What did he say?"
"Very little" Dani says simply licking her lips "He wouldn't tel me where he went, or what he did but apparently he did enough so that someone felt the need to punch that smug look of his fucking face for once"
"Someone hit him?" Rachel asks alarmed, worry spreading over her. Was he okay? Of course he wasn't, something happened that had made him close off the people who cared about him.
"He's got a black eye, that's all" Dani replies, smiling reassuringly. "It looks painful, but it's the least he deserves for making you cry before"
"I'm going to go see him" Rachel announces, standing up from her seat. "I need to make sure he's okay and-"
"Be careful, Rachel" Dani cuts her off, a hand holding her arm ever so gently. "He's upset about something and, well you know he likes to shout at people instead of admitting it"
She nodded in response before walking over to the kitchen; taking a breath before she pushes the doors open. James is stood leaning his elbows against one of the kitchen surfaces, his head in his hands; Rachel takes a step towards him and hesistantly calls out to him in a soft voice; "James?"
It's enough to make him move and he stands up and gazes at her for a moment. Rachel can see his eyes looking vulnerable and maybe even a tear running down his cheek as he stares at her before he blinks and turns his back to her. "Hey, does a customer want something making?"
"No" She replies, shaking her head even if he can't see as she takes another step towards her.
"You want something making for your break?"
"I'm not hungry, but I came to see if you're okay" She says, smiling at how different his voice is now; back to the caring way he normally speaks to her.
"I'm fine" He replies and she can see straight through it.
"Are you sure? Dani says that you're upset about something"
"I'm fine, you can go back and tell the fucking mother hen that I don't need her watching out for me" He retorts dryly and Rachel can't help the frown that crosses her face. "In fact I don't need anyone watching out for me, I don't give a fuck anymore"
"James it's me, you can talk to me"
"Cool, if I tell you I don't want to talk to you will you leave me the fuck alone as well?" He asks, the hostility making her flinch a little bit.
"Not until you look at me" She replies trying to sound confident.
She hears him laugh dryly before she seems him take a deep breath as he turns to face her. Rachel gasps a little as she sees his face, the area around his right eye is bruised; a very prominent mark that he'd been hit.
"What" She asks, the words catching in her throat for a second. "What happened?"
His eyes don't meet hers as he says in a harsh tone "The doors behind you"
"Tell me what happened"
"What do you think fucking happened?" He asks, clenching his jaw.
"Someone hit you?"
"Awesome, you guessed" He replies, smirking at her. "Now turn around and fuck off"
She flinches at the sound of his voice, James never normally treats her like this; whatever happened to him and however rude he's being, Rachel knows that he needs her right now but he just can't bring himself to admit it.
"Please talk to me" She asks softly, taking a step towards him. His eyes seem to be flashing with affection, crying out for her to help him but its counteracted by the way his hands and jaw are clenched; warning her away. It reminds her a lot of a wounded bear, trying to defend itself while it's hurt because its wary of letting anybody see it vulnerable. "I can help-"
"I DON'T WANT YOU TO FUCKING HELP ME" He shouts at her and Rachel takes a step back instinctively; there's something in his lashing out, it's not anger; it's pain and hurt. Gulping, Rachel moves to walk towards him again as he glares at her. "I don't want anyone's fucking help; what the fuck don't' you understand, leave me the fuck alone"
"You need me right now and I'm not going to leave you when you're hurt" She tries to explain as softly as possible, trying to keep her voice calm and soothing despite how irritated she is that he's treating her like this.
"Are you fucking stupid? I don't want your fucking help" He replies, pushing himself off the counter and taking a step towards her. "What do I have to do to get through to you? Fuck off"
"No" She says, shaking her head at him defiantly. His eyes soften for a moment and she can't help but smile at him, hoping that he recognises what she's saying to him; that she'll never leave him and she'll always be there for him. Rachel thinks she's gotten through to him and she goes to open her mouth to speak again; "James-"
"YOU ARE FUCKING INFURIATING" Her words are cut off by him shouting over them and Rachel gasps, hands flying to cover her mouth as he turns and punches the cupboard on the wall, followed by a loud groan.
Rachel flinches as she watches him clutching his hand to his chest, listing of several curse words off in quick succession in an angry tone; "Fucking Cunt; twat, bastard FUCK"
"James" She says his name again and this time, he opens his eyes and looks up at her, her heart breaking as she looks into them.
There are tears in his eyes as he looks at her; begging her as he speaks again, almost a whisper. "Please just go away"
Rachel shakes her head at him again, watching as he collapses to the floor and stretches his legs out as he sits leaning his back against the counter; starting to cry. In that moment, Rachel heart breaks and despite how he's being shouting at her, she knows she would never leave him alone; not like this, not ever. Striding over the short distance to him, Rachel sits down next to him and raises a hand to his cheek; gently touching his skin as he rests his head back against the surface behind him.
"James" She murmurs quietly and smiles as she sees him open his eyes again, turning his head slightly to stare at her.
"Rachel" He whispers, tears rolling down his cheeks as his eyes flood with emotion; affection, sorrow, pain and hurt. "I'm sorry"
She doesn't know what to say to him; instead she just pulls him close to her, hugging him tightly against her body as she hears him start to sob. Rachel has no idea why he's just broken down in front of her, but what she does know is that his arms come around her waist and he's holding her close; almost clutching her to make sure that she's real and in that moment Rachel knows, she knows that he cares about her.
They sit there together for ten minutes as she just holds him while he cries, murmuring words that she can't make out into the crook of her neck as she tries to offer him whatever comfort she can by running her hand up and down his back in what she hopes is soothing. She takes a look at his hand at her side and sighs a bit in relief when she sees that it doesn't look too bad; there is a bit of blood and she assumes that's because he split the skin near one of his knuckles but apart from looking a little bruised, she guesses it'll be okay to leave for a little while. In any case, she isn't sure she wants to move away from him right now; this is the first time that James has ever looked so broken and vulnerable in front of her that she doesn't' want to let him go.
A few minutes later and as she feels him loosen his grip on her, Rachel reluctant moves her arms from cradling him against her body as he sits up. She moves her hand back to his cheek and tenderly starts moving her thumb across the bruised skin as he stares in his lap.
"You want to tell me what's wrong?" She asks softly, her thumb still brushing carefully over his bruised cheek.
He shakes his head, still not looking up from his lap.
"James, don't even try and tell me that you're fine" She says, squeezing his arm. "Please talk to me"
"I'm sorry" He murmurs quietly, his eyes looking up to stare at her. Rachel heart hurts at the sight of them, red and puffy.
"What are you sorry for?" She asks, moving her hand from his face and reaching gently for his bruised one.
"I fucked up, Rach" He says, his voice still quiet. "I fucked up and I'm so sorry"
"Hey, hey" She says soothingly as he clenches his jaw again, another tear leaking down his face. "James, you didn't do anything to hurt me; why are you apologising?"
"I don't deserve you" He replies quietly.
"It's okay" She says squeezing his arm gently. "You're upset. I don't know why but it wasn't because you shouted at me, right?"
James nods slowly. "I did something and you're going to hate me; I don't deserve to have you here"
"I could never hate you" She says, offering him a smile. "Tell me what happened, please"
"I went out last night" He starts to explain, his voice a bit louder than a few moments ago. "I went out to get drunk and try to push everything I feel out of my head"
"There was this girl and…and I was going to take her home" He says, Rachel watching as he closes his eyes tight. "We were stood outside and this guy…she had a boyfriend and he saw us leaving; he came over and started shouting, at me; at her. I don't even remember, all I could remember how horrified I was and then I felt him punch me"
"I let him punch me because I couldn't believe what I was about to do. I was about to fuck another guys girlfriend and I'm so sorry" James starts sobbing again, his next words broken up. "I'm so, fucking sorry Rach"
Rachel listens to his admission, feeling her heart break for him. Rachel lets her own tear roll down her cheek as she scoots closer to him and puts an arm around his shoulder, moving him so that he rests his head against her chest as she holds him close. Pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, she speaks quietly; "I forgive you"
"I can't" She feels him say quietly as he shakes his head. "I'm a screw up, I'm my brother"
Everything dawns on her quickly; why he reacted to this event so extravagantly. The one thing she knew about James, which he always wanted to prove to be a better man than his brother; it was clear to her now why he had tried to punish himself and push everyone away. He was comparing himself to Scott. Rachel felt a tear streak down her cheek, he wasn't like his asshole brother; she knew James was a good man. "James you're not; you didn't know she had a boyfriend"
"I should have known, I should have been able to tell" He replies. "I know what that feeling is like; to have your world crumble down"
Rachel opens her mouth to speak but he just keeps going, sobbing as he grips her tightly again. "I was so close to making someone else feel that and now all I can think about is how many times in the past its happened, how many times have I had sex with someone's girlfriend and it makes me sick"
"I'm as bad as Scott" He says and Rachel can hear the disgust in his voice. "And I'm as bad as Brody. I did all these things without caring about the consequences, not caring about who I hurt"
"James please don't" Rachel says softly. "You're not anything like Scott, or Brody; neither of them are worthy of you"
"I am" He replies, shaking his head against her chest. "You don't see it but I do; I'm exactly like Brody"
She knows that he is nothing like Brody; Brody did what he did, knowing that he was betraying her. James, whatever he has done in the past had never done any of it to purposefully betray or hurt someone. Most of all; Rachel knows he would never do anything to purposefully hurt her. "You're nothing like them. You didn't do it to hurt someone; you would have never done it to me. I know you would never hurt me"
"If you can tell me that if you had me, as your girlfriend, you would have still done those things to hurt me" Rachel pauses for a moment, sniffing. "If you can tell me you would hurt me then I'll believe you're not the good man I know you are"
"I'd never do anything to hurt you" He replies a few seconds later, quieter than she's ever heard him speak. "If I had you, I would never do anything to hurt you; but I don't have you and I'm not good enough to feel this way about you"
Rachel heart beats quicker as she processes his words in her head. Did he just admit that he had feelings for her? Gulping Rachel, thought about her next words; choosing them carefully so that he would understand.
"You have me" She says quietly, smiling slightly. "You know you have me, you just have to ask"
Rachel heart beats faster as she admits to him; admits that she cares about him and if he would ask her, she would be his girlfriend. She knows that he would never hurt her, James would never hurt her; he cares to much and she wants him to know that. When he leans up off her, Rachel gulps as she watch him sit up and stare in her eyes; his own searching hers for confirmation.
"What do you mean"
"You have me" Rachel smiles at him, watching as his eyes are staring at her intently; searching hers for an explanation as she speaks again; ""I'm falling for you, James"
She watches as he stares at her for a moment, the movement in his eyes amazing her; she see's shock, to affection before they finally brighten as he smiles slightly. "You're...you have feelings for me?"
"Yes" Rachel giggles, nodding her head at him as he grins back. Her eyes dart to his lip as his tongue wets them before she sees him start to move closer. Her heart is pounding so loudly, she swear that he can hear it considering how close he is to her; the anticipation building as she closes her eyes when his face is only an inch away from hers, their lips almost touching-
"Are you guys okay in here? We heard shouting followed by quiet and I'm just making sure you didn't kill ea-" The sound of Santana's voice causes her to snap her eyes open and Rachel feels her cheeks blush furiously as she turns her head to see the latina wearing a smug smirk on her face. "Not entirely what I was expect but at least you two aren't fucking on the floor"
"Fuck you" She hears James voice, giggling as she turns and looks at him; seeing a red tinge on his cheeks as well at being caught in an intimate position, sat together on the floor.
"You are getting so much shit for this, asshole. So much" Santana smirks, waving at them before she turns and walks out of the room hollering over her shoulder "Keep it PG"
"Oh my god, I can't believe she nearly saw us kissing" Rachel giggles, moving her hand to cover her face.
"Hey, don't hide from me" James says and she feels his hand gently nudge her cheek, Rachel smiles as she lets him bring her face back up to look at him. "Never hide that beautiful face from me"
"Okay" She replies, biting her lip as she saw him smile at her; a warm smile that makes her heart beat faster. Rachel licks her lips, starting to move forwards to kiss him. "I think that we were about to do something"
When she looks into his eyes, Rachel can see that he cares for her; his eyes swirling with affection and she doesn't wait any longer to kiss him as she closes the gap and presses her lips against his. The second their lips meet, Rachel feels a jolt, a spark that flourishes throughout her body at the amazing rightness of the contact. They share a long, drawn out kiss that leaves her breathless; her heart beating at the amazing sensation as their lips separate for a few moments; her eyes meeting his and seeing them clouded with lust, of wanting her; something that makes her feel warmth throughout her body and a wetness between her legs.
She doesn't get to dwell on that before she feels James lips on hers again, one of his hands coming up to hold her neck as he runs his tongue against her bottom lip while the other threads itself into her hair, holding her close to him as she readily opens her mouth and lets him deepen their kiss; moaning at the sensation of their tongues meeting.
The next few minutes are a rush, as they both get to know other in this new way; tongues touching and teeth nipping at the others lips. Rachel hands are everywhere, trying to find somewhere to hold onto as he keeps his hands in a dominative but incredibly hot way on her neck and head that she can't but lean closer to him and press her body against his. It doesn't bother her how he is so forceful, its erotic and its hot; she's never been kissed like this before, never had someone kiss her with so much passion that it is taking her breath away; his tongue expertly stroking hers, every now and then he'll drag it across the top of her mouth and it makes her moan again.
Deciding that she's had enough of him taking control, frustrated with not being able run her hands over him; Rachel shoves his hands off her and grips his wrists in hers, pulling her lips from his for a moment as she moves to straddling him; pinning his arms against the surface behind him as he lets out a low growl at her before she presses her mouth against his and forces her tongue back into his mouth.
He tries to move his hands, but Rachel keeps a hold of his wrists; a war going on between them as their tongues duel with each other. When he nips at her tongue, Rachel moans and releases his wrists, and moves to rest her hands on either side of his jaw; keeping his mouth in contact with hers as she presses her mouth against his as she explores further in his mouth. She can't help but grind against him slightly as he rests his hands firmly on her bum and gives her a squeeze; both of their arousals pressed against each other through the material of their clothes. She grins against his lips as she hears him moan out an "fuck" between kisses, knowing what effect she's having on him making her want him, wanting him more than she's ever wanted anyone before as she moves to his neck and starts biting and sucking at the skin.
"You're fucking good at" He murmurs throatily. "Fuck, you're so fucking perfect Rach"
Rachel can only groan in response as she licks her way up to his ear, nibbling on the love as his hand on her ass pushes her closer against him.
"You have no idea how much I've wanted to hear you say that" He murmurs, threading his fingers in her hair again and pulling her head back up this and instantly pressing his lips against hers.
When he traps her bottom lip between his teeth and pulls it gently; Rachel can't help but whimper, her eyes rolling into the back of head as he releases it and attached his lips to her neck, shifting so that her core is pressed against one of his legs.
"oh fuck" Rachel moans as he sucks on the skin roughly at her pulse point, then swipes his tongue over the spot soothingly. As he starts kissing her skin again, all Rachel can do is grasp at the back of his head with one hand and at his neck with her other; begging him never to stop what he's doing.
"Moan for me" He murmurs huskily and the sound makes her skin shiver. Rachel whimpers as he licks her skin and then reattaches his mouth sucking the spot he had been paying attention to. She can feel the tension building in her and she shifts on his leg, rubbing herself against him to try and get some friction.
"Fuck, you feel so good" He says moving his lips to her jaw and nipping the skin.
"I need you inside of me" The words leave her mouth as he places a teasing kiss against the corner of her mouth before kissing her fully, his hand coming up to cup her cheek as he shoves his tongue back into her mouth, Rachel wrapping her own around it; her hands having taken on a mind of their own as they move to his chest and her fingers fumble as she starts to unbutton his shirt. She manages to undo a couple of them before his hand comes up and stops her, Rachel taking the opportunity of his mouth leaving hers to move and nimble at his ear lobe again as she presses herself against his leg firmly, letting out a moan as she feels his leg jolt at her wetness. "Fuck me, please James Fuck me so hard"
"Stop" He murmurs, hand coming up to her neck again and pulling her away from his ear.
"No, please I need to feel you" She says huskily, resting her forehead against his and grinding herself against his leg; watching as he bites his lip as his eyes half close. "Take me, for the love of god; take me"
"Rachel, stop" He says and grips her hip tightly with his hand stilling her movement. "We need to stop"
She watches as his eyes widen, as if to make his point to her. Whimpering as he shifts her body so that her arousal isn't pressed against his leg and she reluctantly kneels between his legs. Opening her eyes, Rachel looks at him sadly, feeling them welling with tears as she speaks softly in a vulnerable voice; "You don't want me?"
"Hey please don't cry" He answers quickly, hands coming up to her rest against her cheek as he wipes her tears away as they run down her cheek. "Please don't; of course I want you. I want you so fucking badly"
"It doesn't feel like it; Why did you stop us?" She asks, relaxing into his hands; enjoying the tenderness of his hold on her.
"Because we're not in my bed" He replies, licking his lips. "I want you, so badly but we need to wait until we're alone"
Rachel eyes widen for a second as where they were came flooding back and she let out a low moan as she closes them and buries her face in his neck out of embarrassment. Her heart warms when she feels James arms secure themselves around her and she shifts so that she's sitting in his lap while she hides her face from him; murmuring against his skin; "Oh my god,I can't believe I was about to ride you at work."
She can't help but smile when she hears him chuckle, his chest moving as she cuddles closer to them. "Rach, look at me"
She shakes her head and she feels him squeeze her shoulder as he speaks again; "Come on don't hide from me, not after that. Let me see your beautiful face"
Enjoying the soothing way his hand his moving up and down her back; a tender affectionate gesture, Rachel nods as she lifts her head off his shoulder and looks him in the eye. The cloudiness of his eyes, full of lust and want; want for her¸is replaced by something softer. Affection and Rachel smiles at seeing how much he cares about her reflected in his eyes. "You're so beautiful"
Rachel smiles at him, moving one of her hands to cover his as it moves to rest on her neck; keeping the soothing feeling of his skin against hers. Licking her lips she speaks softly; "That was some kiss"
"Mhmmm" He replies nodding, he lets out a sigh and his eyes move to meet hers again. "We need to talk"
"Please don't tell me this was a mistake, I can't take it if you do" She begs, voice breaking.
"Hey, hey" He says, shaking his head. "You could never be a mistake; I care about you too much"
"You care about me?" She asks timidly, feeling her heart beat faster at the thought.
He smirks. "Rach, of course I do"
She can only grin back at him before she leans forward and kisses him. This time, it's similar to the first one they shared; Affectionate, calm not filled with any kind of wanting or neediness just a simply chaste kiss to emphasis what she said. "Let's get your hand cleaned up and we can talk.
…..
A/N :
So there we have it! James and Rachel have finally made some progress!
The kiss was a result of the sexual tension that's been between the two of them for a few chapters and they both got a little carried away, but I wasn't going to have them actually have sex in the diner.