Author's Notes: This fic is set between In Times of Peace and For Everything There Is a Season. Since I'm in the middle of an ITOP rewrite, I originally planned to post this once those revisions were complete. But I wrote this oneshot months ago and I'm frankly tired of it sitting on my Google Drive gathering dust. I hope you guys enjoy it!
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TO REND AND TO SEW
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Sasuke is going to kill Naruto. Slowly, painfully, and without hesitation. As soon as he returns to Konoha, the first thing he'll do is march into Naruto's office and create a job opening for the next Hokage. Hinata is too young to be a widow, but she's stronger than most people give her credit for. She'll survive.
"Why are you making that face?" Sakura asks.
"I'm not making a face."
"You are," she insists. "You're scowling like someone sprayed pesticide on your tomato plants."
"That's just what I look like."
She makes a low, frustrated noise and hurries ahead of him, grumbling, "Whatever."
And this right here—his wife's sour attitude, which he's been enjoying for the last three days—is precisely why Naruto is marked for death.
So much for the newlywed glow. Everyone told him it would last for at least a year, but Sakura has shaken it in less than six months. She's not glowing so much as incandescent with a quietly simmering rage.
Sasuke follows his wife, even though he's supposed to be the one leading this mission. Naruto tasked him with raiding one of Orochimaru's old hideouts for ancient scrolls filled with forbidden jutsu. Sending him was the obvious choice, since he knows the terrain. A solo mission, Naruto said, but Sakura wheedled her way into coming along. Not that either of his teammates admitted to that, but Sasuke knows. One thing hasn't changed since they were genin: Sakura still has Naruto wrapped around her little finger, and she always gets what she wants, whether she has to charm or bully it out of him.
But why she'd want to join him on this particular mission, Sasuke can't imagine. She certainly hasn't been happy since they left Konoha.
He remembers this hideout vividly. It's one of Orochimaru's older fortresses, in the disputed territory west of Sound. As they draw closer, Sasuke directs Sakura to adjust their course. She accepts it with more grace than he expects, considering how short her temper has been over the last few days.
Sasuke thinks of their last mission together, the infiltration at that disgusting brothel where women and girls were being trafficked. If he wasn't there to back her up, she could have been—
No. He can't consider that.
This mission should be much easier than that one. It is not, however, simpler.
Sasuke pulls ahead of Sakura, leading her deeper into the dense, evergreen forest, until they reach a clearing at the base of a steep hill. The hideout sits cradled between the hill and a wide, rushing river. The water is higher than Sasuke would like, swollen from the autumn rains. It wouldn't take more than one heavy storm to flood this valley.
Sakura frowns. "It's smaller than I expected. Is it more extensive underground?"
"Very," Sasuke says shortly.
His breath fogs before him, an effervescent cloud in the cool night air, but he can feel a bead of sweat sliding down his spine.
Sasuke points toward the patches of brown leaves scattered between the top of the hill and the hideout. "Be careful while descending. Those leaves are jutsu concealing boobytraps."
He can't hear Sakura grinding her teeth, but he'd still bet money she's doing it.
"Yes, I can see that. As could your average genin."
Sasuke doesn't honor that with a response, which only seems to irritate her more.
They make it down the hill and into the building without issue. Sakura performs a jutsu that summons a bright, glowing sphere, like their own small sun. Fortunately, it gives off heat, not just light, warming the chilly air inside the stone corridors.
"You said you know where the scrolls would be kept," Sakura reminds him.
Sasuke strides ahead, taking the left path when the hallway splits in three directions. "Stay behind me."
She's too practical to complain about an order as sensible as that one, but he's sure she doesn't like that he made it an order at all. He might be taking point on this mission, but he's not her superior, and he has no authority to command her.
But he did anyway, mostly to give her a taste of her own medicine.
Sakura sticks close to him as he leads her down one corridor, then another, and another. Turning left and left and right, up one flight of stairs, down three more and a ladder, then through a trapdoor.
"How do you remember all this?" Sakura asks.
"This was one of Orochimaru's favorite haunts," Sasuke says. "And the vaults are only one floor below his test subjects' cells."
Sakura stays quiet for so long that he thinks she's going to ignore that, but then she asks, "So you visited the cells a lot?"
"No. But whenever I had to pass by them, they were—memorable."
She's kind enough not to press for details. Because Sakura is kind, always has been, even when she's annoyed with him.
The cells hold no prisoners now, but they're not entirely empty. Chains still hang from the ceiling, as well as from the four corners of each stone bed, and buckets once used for collecting waste sit in the corners. A cruel place run by a cruel man.
And Sasuke was cruel too, heartless enough to serve Orochimaru despite the innocent people he tortured.
Sakura clasps his hand as they reach the last staircase, a gentle touch that steadies him. The ugly memories recede to the back of his mind again, and he stuffs them into the careful box where he stores all of his greatest regrets.
The vault requires a passcode. It only takes two tries for Sasuke to get the combination right, and when the heavy, steel door swings open—
"Fuck," he hisses.
It's empty. Utterly and completely empty. Whatever kinjutsu Orochimaru once kept here, they're gone now. Some other thieves beat them to the punch.
Sakura sighs. "Is there anywhere else they might be?"
"Not that I know of, and it's not worth searching for them. There are a million hidden rooms buried in this place. What a waste of time."
"Spilled water won't return to the tray," Sakura says.
Sasuke can't disagree, but he doesn't appreciate being told there's no use in complaining. Not after Sakura spent this whole trip doing little besides that.
"Let's go," he says. "If we hurry, we can make it to an inn at the border by midnight."
But before they reach the exit, Sasuke already knows it's a lost cause. Even from two floors under the surface, he can hear the downpour and booming thunder. When they reach the outer door, he stops Sakura before she can open it.
"Wait."
She shoots him a sharp glance, but holds back just the same.
Sasuke performs a quick jutsu that makes the wall transparent, and finds what he expected. While they were running a fool's errand, the river flooded the valley. Now the entire building is submerged.
"You've got to be kidding me!" Sakura says. "How could the river have risen that much in a couple of hours?"
"Flash floods aren't uncommon in this area. This isn't my first time being trapped here."
"How long will it take for the water to go down?" Sakura asks.
He shrugs. "A day. Maybe two. Assuming the storm stops soon."
She clucks her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "Fabulous."
This is going to be a long, long night.
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In the midst of warning her about more boobytraps—as if she's a green genin who can't spot a trip wire—Sasuke runs into one. It's a little funny, watching him hang upside down by one ankle. He frees himself within seconds, of course.
"You were saying?" Sakura asks innocently.
He glares at her, then continues forward (more gingerly than before). Nothing's hurt besides his pride, but twenty years of knowing Sasuke has taught her that he values his pride far more than his body's wellbeing. He's been in a nasty mood all day anyway, so it doesn't make much difference.
She has to admit that her own mood isn't any better, and she has less excuse for it than he does. If she'd stayed behind like he wanted, they'd likely both be far happier right now.
A depressing truth, considering how little time has passed since their wedding day.
It isn't that Sakura is disappointed in her husband, or that she regrets getting married. Far from it. The last six months have been the happiest of her life. It's just that there's this one, niggling worry that she can't seem to shake: that Sasuke might disappear from her life again. And coming here has magnified that worry beyond her ability to ignore.
"Where are we going?"
"The fourth floor down," Sasuke says brusquely.
Sakura swipes her tongue along her teeth to keep from snapping back. "And you're taking me there because…?"
"Because that's where the only decent bedrooms are. I'm cold and tired, and I assume you are too."
He's not wrong about that much.
"Is that where your old room is?"
Sasuke stops so abruptly that Sakura almost runs into him.
He doesn't turn to her, or even look over his shoulder when he says, "Yes. Why?"
She takes a deep breath, steeling herself for the argument that's sure to come. "I want to see it."
He does face her then. "Is that why you insisted on coming along? To get a good look at the place I left you for?"
Bastard.
"I didn't insist," Sakura says, which is technically true. It only took puppy dog eyes and some pouting to get Naruto to give in. "When the Hokage assigns me a mission, I take it."
He glances at her sidelong. "Don't lie to me."
"Then don't throw the fact that you abandoned me in my face!"
Sasuke's jaw clenches. He looks angrier than she's seen him in a very long time, and for one heart-stopping moment, she's a little afraid. Not that he'll hurt her—she could never be afraid of that—but this is almost worse. Fear that her sharp tongue and hot temper might make him regret choosing a life with her.
It's ridiculous, but she can't stop herself from thinking it.
Sasuke grabs her hand and strides ahead, walking so quickly that she has to jog to keep from being half-dragged behind him. She counts the flights of stairs (one, two, three) as he leads her farther underground, her throat tight, fingers trembling in his grasp. He stops before a steel door in the middle of the hall, turns the handle, and pushes it open.
"Here," he says, in a flat voice that she'd nearly forgotten the sound of. He hasn't spoken to her in that cold, toneless way since before he told her he loved her for the first time.
This room is almost as spare as the cells buried far beneath them, if blessedly lacking chains. There's a narrow bed against the far wall, a trunk in the corner, and a small, wooden table that holds a dark lamp. That's it. No personal effects, no decorations, not so much as a blanket on the bare mattress.
She's not surprised. On the many nights (and mornings, and all the hours in between) that she imagined Sasuke's life with Orochimaru, she certainly didn't picture homey decor. But it's still jarring to see how plain his life was in this place. How barren and hollow.
It does begin to answer one question for her, though. How Sasuke went from the loyal, if taciturn boy she knew in Konoha to the cold young man who drew a sword on her without a second thought.
"Do you remember when we found you?" Sakura asks. "Me and Naruto, Yamato and Sai."
Sasuke doesn't move an inch, but she can feel his restlessness just the same. His desire to escape this question—and maybe her.
All he says is, "Yes."
"What did you think, when you saw me again?" She laughs, more a helpless sigh than humor. "Before you attacked me, that is."
He's very pointedly refusing to look at her. "Not much, to be honest. I was so focused on Naruto, but—"
Sakura laughs again, this time one loud, incredulous yelp. "Just what a new wife wants to hear."
Don't ask a question if you're not prepared for an answer you won't like.
Her mom used to tell her that when she was little. When she asked why? every five minutes, and most of her parents' responses disappointed her.
Sasuke grabs her arm. Not roughly, but not carefully either, and the wry smile falls dead from her lips.
"But. Afterward, I thought about you a lot," he says. "You weren't what I expected."
They're so close now that she's eye level with his collarbone. Sakura tilts her head back, looking up at her husband. "How so?"
Sasuke's gaze flickers over her, sliding along her body from head to toe, waking a blush in its path.
"Stronger. More serious," he says. His throat works as he swallows. "More beautiful. And womanly."
Sakura bites her lip.
Even as her enemy, set on vengeance and sustained by hate, Sasuke noticed her. Not just the changes in her attitude and skills, but the changes in her appearance as well.
Beautiful is complimentary (and at fifteen, she'd have killed to hear it from him), but it could also be a simple observation. Blooming flowers and fine art are beautiful too. Womanly, though. That carries a certain implication.
A nearly sexual one.
Sakura bites her lip, then mutters, "Did you ever think about…?"
"About?" he asks, one eyebrow raised.
She swats his arm. "You know what I'm saying."
He smirks. "No, not directly. Not back then. I didn't think about sleeping with you, but I did have to fight off the temptation, when my mind wandered in that direction."
Sakura groans. "That makes me feel so pathetic. Because I—I thought about you like that. Sometimes."
If sometimes actually meant nearly every night.
Sasuke slides his hand down her arm, to her wrist. He can surely feel her racing pulse, betraying the nerves she's trying to hide.
"What did you imagine?" he asks. "Exactly."
She huffs. What an arrogant ass. "Nothing you'd find impressive now. Teenage, virgin Sakura wasn't nearly as creative as I was by the time we started sleeping together."
"There's something to be said for experience, I suppose."
Sakura snorts. "Not much. Kenji was cruel and gossipy. Hideki was as insecure as he was unfaithful. I never even get off with either of them."
"It didn't seem like you had that problem with Taro," Sasuke says, his voice drier than Suna in July.
"No, I didn't," she says archly, just to watch him squirm. "You don't have any room to be jealous. I'm sure your affair with that pretty civilian widow was plenty satisfying. And Kazue?" Sakura rolls her eyes. "I can't understand why you ever slept with her. She's so vain that she makes Ino look humble."
"Vanity is only annoying if you bother to talk to someone."
"Ugh," Sakura grunts. "Men."
"As for why I slept with her." Sasuke runs his fingers through her hair, a subtle caress that makes her shiver. "It was only because she reminded me of you. Enough that I could pretend."
Sakura gapes, snaps her mouth shut, then gapes again. "In—bed, you mean?"
He nods. "I'm not proud of it, but I thought about you the whole time."
It's absurd how nonchalantly he says that. As if it isn't a revelation, the kind of confession that shifts the very earth beneath her feet. Because it violates the principle that underlies her life's greatest struggle: the imbalance between her and Sasuke. That she's spent her whole life devoted to him, whereas his love for her is frighteningly new.
"And that wasn't a clue that you might be interested in me?" Sakura asks.
He looks away, then back down at her. "I was aware that I wanted to sleep with you for a long time before that night at Tsukino's. It was the deeper feelings I didn't allow myself to indulge in."
Ah. That shifts the earth back to the unfortunate place where it belongs. Mostly.
"At least you're acknowledging them now," Sakura says.
"Yes. And it's a much better way to live."
His smile is small, but so soft and warm that she has to smile back.
"You have nothing to worry about where Taro is concerned. I haven't given him a second thought since the first time we kissed." Sakura wraps her arms around Sasuke's neck, as if they were about to dance. "And you're much, much better than him. With the added bonus of actually being tolerable after sex."
"What glowing praise," Sasuke says, deadpan.
Sakura cants her head toward the cot across the room. "You know, we could make use of that bed. Live out those fantasies you didn't let yourself consider the last time you slept here."
The rinnegan never reveals much, but his dark eye is still beautifully expressive. Excitement shines there, as fiercely as if she'd stripped naked in front of him.
But then he says, "On one condition."
"That is not the sort of invitation that should be met with conditions," Sakura all but growls. "It's the sort you should accept happily and enthusiastically."
He looks inordinately pleased with himself. And he had the gall to call her annoying.
"My condition is that you tell me what you thought about when we were apart." That excitement she glimpsed in his eye brightens, and shows itself at the corners of his mouth too. "Sometimes."
The way he says it, it couldn't be clearer that he knows she fibbed.
"Fine. It was more often than I implied."
Sasuke stares down at her expectantly, waiting.
She shifts, fidgeting in a way that would rival Hinata during their genin days. "Okay, much more often. Now stop looking at me that way."
He doesn't, but he makes up for it by taking off his jacket and shirt.
Well. She can't complain about that.
When Sakura reaches for his belt, he catches her hand, shaking his head sharply.
She can feel her whole face burning. He's really going to drag the details out of her.
"At first, it was pretty vague," she says. "No specifics, just hoping we'd make love someday. I mean, I didn't know much about sex at thirteen, beyond the mechanics—"
"Wait, you were—when we were genin?"
Sakura jerks her hands out of his. "Never mind. If you're going to make fun of me, I'll sleep on the floor."
Sasuke pulls her into his arms so suddenly that she gasps, trapped against his chest. Except, being trapped surely wouldn't feel this good, this safe.
"I am not making fun of you," Sasuke says, his voice low, his words slow and deliberate.
Sakura's breath is suddenly too shallow, the air too thin. "Of course I daydreamed about it. I was so in love that I barely cared about anything besides you. I wanted to be your wife, and I wasn't so ignorant that I didn't understand what married people do in bed. Plus, pubescent hormones raging."
He brings her somehow closer, and Sakura can't help but tremble.
More. He wants more, and she'll give it to him. That's the story of her life, isn't it?
"It wasn't until we saw each other again that I considered it in any detail," Sakura says. "Too much detail, honestly."
She doesn't really understand why he's so curious about this. Back then, he didn't want her nearly as much as she wanted him, so what could be so pleasing about her one-sided, teenage lust? Beyond stroking his ego.
But when Sasuke kisses her, hard and hungry, she can't remember why that should bother her. He cups her breast, running his thumb over her nipple, exactly the way she likes best. Stroking firmly, but not so much that it hurts. It's almost unfair how thoroughly he's learned every secret of her body.
They get naked enough and tumble into bed. Sakura's shirt unzipped and bra opened, her skirt rucked up, shorts and underwear yanked off. Sasuke's pants and boxers are around his knees, and she expects him to go straight to fucking her. He could. He's fully hard and she's painfully wet, just from an embarrassing conversation and barely a minute of touching.
He surprises her by manhandling her to the edge of the bed, then kneeling before her on the floor.
She loves it when he does this. Because he's sinfully skilled with his mouth, and because it's something he's only ever given to her.
He bows down, as reverent as a supplicant at worship, kissing her between her legs. It's almost too much, pleasure so profound. This, she taught him, and goddamn if he didn't take every lesson to heart—then teach her a few in return.
Sakura runs her fingers through his black hair, tenderly at first. Then she tugs on it, and Sasuke grunts against her. He likes having his hair pulled more than he'll ever admit.
She can hear the lewd sound of him touching himself, and that might be the best part of all—until he slips two fingers inside her and crooks them just right. It's more than she can stand, his wet tongue and precise fingers working her outside and inside at once. Her climax rocks through her without warning, making her cry out as she comes.
Sakura hasn't even caught her breath before Sasuke is on the bed with her again. Kissing her, sucking on her throat, biting her ear.
"How do you want it?" he asks.
"I don't care. I just need you inside me. Now."
He whispers in her ear, "When you were missing me, how did you usually picture it?"
Sakura grabs his hair again, so tightly this time that it probably hurts. That rough grip earns her a quiet groan from him.
"Missionary," she says. "Like I told you, not very creative."
Then he's spreading her legs, pushing inside her, and creative or not, she has to give her teenage self credit. Because Sasuke is damn good at this. He takes her hard and deep. Slow, but there's nothing gentle about it. Sakura can barely string two thoughts together as he drags her higher, closer. She moves with him, and—fuck, he's not even going to have to touch her to get her off, but at this pace she'll die before she gets there.
"Faster, please," she begs.
She's terrified that he'll tease her, but he doesn't. He gives it to her exactly how she needs it, one strong hand under the small of her back, tilting her hips up so that each of his heavy thrusts hits that sweet, perfect spot—
Sakura wails and doesn't even care. There's no one to hear, no one but her husband, and she's lost in pleasure. Brutal waves of it washing over her, taking her apart.
Sasuke is kind enough to stop while she comes down, her head spinning and body humming.
"I love you," she says. "I've always loved you."
He kisses her with utter desperation, a dire passion that helps her understand. His one condition isn't about stroking his ego or embarrassing her. He just wants this: her love. Her love now, when he can finally return it; and her love then, when he was too lost in anger to accept it.
If she can soothe even the shadow of that loneliness, she'll do so happily.
Sakura pushes at his chest, breaking their kiss, and says, "Lay on your back."
He's quick to obey. She strips off the rest of her clothes, because she knows half his enjoyment when she's on top is simply the view. Then she straddles him, guiding his cock inside her. He grasps her hips as she rides him, bucking up to meet her movements. He's achingly beautiful like this, lips parted on breathless pants, sweat glistening on his broad chest and muscular stomach. Mismatched eyes devouring her, looking at her like she's his queen, like he'd move heaven and earth just to keep her here. Doing this for him, with him.
When he comes, he shouts. Nowhere near as loud as she was, but Sasuke is usually so quiet that it fills her with triumph.
Because this is all a victory, building onto their love in the place that once stole him from her.
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Sasuke holds Sakura against him, her back to his front. This bed is too small for two people, but he'd sooner cut off his left hand than sleep on the floor right now.
Sakura falls asleep quickly, which fills him with (perhaps) more pride than is reasonable. Apparently he wore her out.
He won't be sleeping tonight, though. Not here, in this place. The site of so many of his mistakes.
Sasuke tries not to think about how different his life would be if he'd never left Konoha. If, when Sakura begged him to stay with her, he'd given in. The temptation was so strong, and it took every bit of his willpower to resist her.
Dwelling on the past, on all the things he could have done differently, never brings him anything but regret and pain. And he's had more than his fair share of both.
Sasuke pulls his wife closer. His only consolation is that he can't know how things would have turned out between him and Sakura if he'd stayed. Maybe he would've grown to resent her and the rest of his team for holding him back, and lost himself to bitterness. At least here and now, with Sakura in his arms, she's his, and he's hers. An immutable truth, beyond questioning. Their marriage is a sure thing, a forever kind of love, and he can't imagine anything that could tear them apart.
Even though the road he took to reach this place was long and hard to follow, he'd travel it again. He'd go anywhere, no matter how far; walk any path, no matter how rough. It would be worth it, as long as he could be with Sakura at the end.
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