Gimli POV:

I couldn't believe that elf-girl thought she could mess with my Leggy! The horror stories he told me at night about past experiences were most jarring.

She claimed they weren't true when I confronted her, and that she'd never even dated him, but I believed Leggy since he was my bestie. And anyways, as the code runs, 'Bros b4 hoes'.

She had a creepy obsession with me (Leggy said all dwarves), and it made me very uncomfortable.

Even though I told her off every time I saw her, she still trailed around behind us like a desperate puppy-dog.

I couldn't wait till we left. Not because it would get any less annoying to be stuck in a boat with her, but I knew that she wouldn't survive with us.

When the day finally came though, Aragorn put us in the same boat.

I felt like throttling him.

'Legolas, you're small,' he started.

'I'M WHAT!?' Legolas practically shrieked. He preferred the words 'slim and fit'.

Aragorn cleared his throat. 'Slim and fit.'

Legolas nodded in approval.

'Gimli you're short and fat,'

'RAWRRRRR!' I yelled, raising my axe. I like to think I'm 'stout, well-built, and husky.'

'Sorry. Stout, well-built, and husky.'

I lowered my axe.

'Anyways, my point is, there's only two of you, and you barely take up any room. And since there's three people in each of our boats, y'all can take Tauriel.'

'Who just said y'all?' Tauriel said as she walked up.

'Are you making fun of my friend!?' Legolas yelled.

'N-no. I find it rather- cute.'

Aragorn went away to find a barf-bag. I could hear him later on lamenting to Frodo. 'I grew all that manly stubble and she called me cute!?'

Anyways, back to the point. Me and Leggy were decidedly unhappy to learn that she was coming with us. Legolas ran after Aragorn to beg for a different seating, claiming that the hobbits only made up one person and he or Boromir could take an extra person.

Well, obviously it didn't work out.

Before we left though, Galadriel gave us gifts. I made sure to tell her how gorgeous and stunning she was right in front of Tauriel just so she'd know that I was in love with Galadriel.

I found it rather offensive that Galadriel gave Tauriel more presents than us because 'she was like a daughter to me'.

'What about Celebrían!?' Aragorn asked with a giggle. Then he realized that was kinda mean since Celebrían almost died and had to leave Middle-earth.

Galadriel smacked him. 'That's for your cheek. And just remember who's grand-daughter your dating!'

Aragorn went away rubbing his ear and I think he was crying.

'Anyways. As I was saying.' Galadriel continued, getting her business back on. 'And to you, ring-bearer…'

When she finally finished giving presents, we got in the boats. Tauriel made sure to sit right behind me so she could mess with my hair.

'Oh dear, what a mess your hair is, let me fix it.' She kept saying. Unfortunately for her, Legolas was behind her so he would just pull her hair every time she touched me. I laughed.

The whole several days we rowed, she would blather about random stuff that was totally irrelevant to anything and everything.

Apparently, she remembered that Kíli had an obsession with gold (ha! Did PJ tell you that!?) just like every other dwarf (except me of course).

She kept bringing up different things about gold and jewels.

'Oh Gimli, I have so much gold back at Lothlórien, if you want any you can have it all! Daín gave it to me as Kíli's share since I told him it's what he would've wanted. I really have no use for it.'

Finally, I turned around and smacked her arm. How dare she talk about my dead kin like that!?

She thought it was funny.

The next time we made camp, I told Aragorn I would not tolerate her anymore. All he said was 'Oh Gimli, we only have a couple more days! What would you have me do? The boats are all full!'

I stomped away. Clearly, he'd never heard of rearranging.

A/N

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