He's falling.

Down.

Down.

Down.

Everything is cold.

Freezing.

He can't move.

Breathe.

His heart stops.

He can't feel the beat anymore.

And then everything goes numb and Leon is standing in front of his parents, smiling wide about something. He's only six but yet Leon doubts he's ever felt this happy before. There's a new toy in his tiny hand, the one he's been asking for since the commercial showed up. It's finally his and he can spend the next few days showing it off to all of his friends at school. But before that, he reaches out and wraps his small arms around his mother's neck. She laughs but returns it. He thanks her over and over, to the point where his words are rushing together. Then, he hugs his father, giving him the same treatment. He loves his toy, but he loves them more.

The next thing Leon knows, he's graduating the police academy. Despite being nearly fifteen years older, he feels like a giddy little kid. After receiving his official license to start working in Raccoon City, Leon rushes back to his parents and hugs them tightly. They laugh again, sharing his joy in full force as they tell him how proud the are, that they couldn't have asked for a better son than him. He's stronger now than he was at six years old, but Leon still doesn't hold back as he buries his face into their shoulders, tears streaming down his face.

A flash and Leon's standing in a white suit, his lips stretched wide as he stares at the most beautiful brown eyes he's ever seen. It's been twenty years since he fell into the hellhole that was Raccoon City and everything that came after, but in this moment, he doesn't think about that. All he can see is Chris, standing tall and perhaps a bit nervously in front of him. He's smiling too, tearing up even. Chris was always a bit of a sap despite what his men may think. Leon barely hears the official words, marrying them together until dead. He just jumps forward and pulls Chris into a kiss The audience cheers and Leon knows it's embarrassing to make out with your fiancé -no, husband- in the middle of a crowd, but he can't hold himself back. His heart is full and nothing bad can ever happen again. Not anymore.

But he was wrong.

Leon was wrong.

Because he can't breathe.

He can't feel.

He's dead.

He knows he is.

Chris killed him after returning home from work. A simple call out.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't.

But now Leon's waking up again and he still can't feel. His eyes immediately adjust to the lights overhead and a shout leaves his mouth. He jumps up, holding the side that was stabbed. The room is empty besides him. No one around to finish the job. Chris is gone.

He feels horrible from the relief that comes, but the confusion is worse. Leon stares down at the bloodied floor as he tries to understand what happened. Why did Chris attack? Why did he kill him? Why wasn't he dead? And why couldn't he feel the soaked carpet under him?

Leon stands and he's met with his own dead body, laying on the floor.

He stays there for a long while, just staring. It's not possible. He's seen many people die in his life, many that he couldn't save. But he's always managed to avoid death himself and somehow, Leon thought it was much more...permanent. He'd meet his maker, or he'd just fade into nothingness. Either way, it was final. He's not supposed to be back in his Livingroom and looking at himself.

Holy shit. Leon's a ghost or something.

Lights flash from the front window and Leon already knows it's a police car, if not several. He's not sure how he missed the siren, but he hears it so loudly now that it's almost painful. But he can't feel pain, so it isn't.

The police bang on his door and Leon suddenly realizes that his body will probably get taken away. And Chris won't get caught for what he did. And Leon isn't sure if he even wants his husband to get taken away. It's still so confusing but he's trying to process what he can right now.

A hand is still on his side, subconsciously. Leon looks down at it and sees the blood still splattered on his immoral body -or whatever he is at the moment. His fingers dip into the hole in his shirt and he feels the cut, even shoves a finger in it to make sure it's from the same injury, but he doesn't feel it. There's no sharp pain or hitch of breath because shoving fingers into knife wounds is a stupid idea. There's no lasting ache that makes him wish he could just be done living to get away from it. It's the same way he felt after getting shot in the shoulder decades ago. Except he doesn't feel that and it makes him angry.

He pulls out his fingers and notes the lack of blood. He should've expected that. Ghosts don't die twice, from what he knows. They just die and then haunt shit.

The officers break their way into the front room and two of them immediately kneel next to Leon's body. It's still and probably cold and they seems to understand that he's not coming back from that. They wait for medics to come in and strap in down. The others search his house and tape off different areas around the scene. There isn't much, though. Somehow, Chris put back the couch he flipped and even left the knife in Leon's dead hand. He got away.

It's only then, when one officer begins talking to someone in the hall, does Leon realize Helena was there the whole time. He's not sure how he managed to miss her, but she's crying hysterically and he feels so bad for doing this to her. They weren't too close, not like him and Claire, but they were friends. He had to watch her lose her sister to the hands of Simmons and now, she's lost him to the hands of Chris. Shit. This is really fucked up.

"There's nothing more we can do for him, Ma'am. We'll let our medical team handle it from here, but he's not in good shape. And based on the clues we've gathered from the scene...this was by his own doing."

"What?!" Leon snaps, surprising himself that he can still speak, but he's too busy getting upset from the words spoken to Helena so senselessly. First of all, how can he just say that to someone in so much pain? Someone who's grieving a friend and a coworker? That should only come once they've completely confirmed it was a suicide! And to bring in Leon's second point, the officer was completely wrong! Nothing about what happened had been Leon's doing! Chris came home upset and manipulated Leon into letting his guard down long enough to get wounded. Then...well, there wasn't much he could do by that point. Chris wins in the physical strength department and Leon couldn't...he couldn't kill his own attacker. Is it wrong that he still wants to give Chris the benefit of the doubt?

Helena sobs harder and the officer is left to care for her. Leon doesn't feel bad for him in the slightest.

With so much going on, Leon just wants to get away from it all, so he moves to step outside of the house but he doesn't make it out the door. It's not because of the people still flooding into his living room. No, a near physical pull keeps him from letting even the tip of his shoe out of the door frame. He tries to resist it but there's no fighting. He's trapped in his own home.

Leon's attention is pulled just outside of the door that he's still standing in and his heart does flips. His stomach also sinks and he feels the urge to run, hide, get away, but he just stands there instead.

It's Chris. He's wearing the same damn outfit but there's no blood on him, no dark presence in his eyes. If anything, he looks haunted with worry as he tries to keep into the doorframe. He can't see the mess from where he's standing, Leon knows and he suddenly wonders if the Chris who killed him is the same one as this. The one from before didn't feel like Chris even if he worse the man's face. He was dark and powerful and didn't hold back from brutally killing Leon where he stood. Again, he reminded Leon of a tyrant.

But this Chris is the one Leon feels like he's known for years. The way he shoves past police officers to get where he wants, never paying anyone a second thought because he's so damn determined to get what he wants. It's something that Leon has both loved and hated about him. It caused a few arguments because they were equally stubborn but when their strong wills aligned, they were unstoppable. This is the Chris he married back in 2017.

Chris phases through Leon like he doesn't even exist and it makes the smaller man panic for a half second. He's watched movies where this shit happens. Someone dies and returns as a ghost or their soul is just disconnected from their body. People pass through them like they're just air and it's always something the character freaks out about. Leon thought it was a little silly at first, getting so scared by that of all things, but now that he's experiencing it, it's terrifying.

He has no matter. Can't touch anything but himself. He can't be heard and is doomed to stay here and watch other people's lives pass by. How long will he stay like this? Forever? Fuck, he hopes not. That would be torture. Seeing Chris grow old and then whoever takes the house next. No wonder ghosts always got so upset. He feels like haunting these officers. Haunting Chris just in case something might catch the man's attention. He wants to prove that he's here, somewhere.

Helena and the body are both gone. All that's left is the scene and Chris watches it with painful shock. Leon knows this isn't the same person he saw before he died. This is his husband, not a murderer. Chris would never hurt him like that other thing did.

But watching his husband mourn him is a second death because Leon sees the denial in his eyes. Sees how he desperately wants to avoid what he's seeing. Avoid the truth. But it's no use because Leon's dead and that ambulance is driving him off to his medical grave. They'll announce him dead and Chris will no longer be able to deny this.

He finds the camera feedback but it doesn't prove the existence of a mysterious clone. If anything, it kind of looks like Leon cut it himself after ending his own life, but then something crosses Chris's face and he understands. Leon watches in shock as the sadness turns into pure anger and he looks at the kitchen counter. The take out Leon bought for them. They were going to eat it together and enjoy a movie. He even got Chris's favorite.

They'll never eat take out and watch movies together. Leon won't feel Chris's comforting hugs or the way their stubbles scratches together when they kiss. He'll never feel the strong but loving touch when they fuck. Leon will never experience Chris ever again and that alone makes Leon feel like he's the one who lost someone. Maybe he has. No, he definitely has. Even if he ends up haunting his own house, being unable to hear the way Chris tease him about his skincare routine is like losing the man all together.

He doesn't want to exist like this. He can't. Leon would sooner experience getting murdered over and over than watching his husband live without him.

Chris leaves the house and Leon can't follow him. He's stuck watching as his husband says something to Helena, sees how her eyes go wide and then they get into Chris's car and leave. Officers continue to buzz around the house like working bees. At some point, a professional detective comes by and discovers whatever Chris did. She makes the same connections and announces that this case will not close until she finds that lost footage. Then, they begin to clean the scene and Leon's left alone. The lights are flicked off as the final person leaves, locking the door behind them. It makes Leon angry even though he couldn't leave anyway. He hates not having control over his own house anymore.

Leon's left alone for days. He finds out that he can't leave the house through any exists and also can't move anything. He doesn't pass through furniture like he feared, but his hand doesn't have the mass required to pull the sheets over his body, so he just lays on top of them. He can't sleep either, which makes the nights feels even longer than when he used to stay up drinking.

He can't move the blinds to look out the window, so he's trapped to watch the sun rays move instead. They come in through the bedroom window every morning and then shift to the front window when it's setting. He never really cared to watch the sun rise before but now that Leon physically can't see it, he wishes he hasn't wasted his time working so much. Not that he can really call his job a waste. His life is just a mess of fucked up.

Was a mess of fucked up. He's dead now.

Flies swarm the cold take out, eating away at Chris's chicken like they deserve it. They also eat his as well, from the box Leon left just before getting stabbed. He glares at them for hours, wishing they could just leave him alone, but they don't listen. They just keep buzzing and eating and taking over the dinner Leon never got the chance to enjoy.

The pictures hung up feel mocking now. He doesn't look at them the first day he's alone, knowing that they'll just hurt him worse; but then the third day comes along and he can't do anything but stare at them. He looks at his own face for so long that he can't recall his own features anymore. The smile on his lips from the wedding picture Claire took -and framed for them, because she knew they were too busy to do it themselves- starts to look slightly too wide, too crooked. It messes with him because Chris always looks the same no matter how long Leon stares at him.

Leon can't see his reflection either. It's kind of strange, how that works. He'd thought that even though he didn't exist anymore, he would at least see his own reflection, but it just doesn't show up. He never knew mirrors were so physical until then. He also never missed looking at them and he still doesn't, but it would've been something to pass the time.

On the fourth day, a team comes in and cleans the carpets of it's blood. The detective comes back after them but she leaves soon after, more frustrated than she was coming through the door. Leon knows she's looking for something but she won't find it here. Nothing's here anymore except for a lonely soul she can't even see. He wishes he could speak to her. That he could tell her his story. Even Leon doesn't fully understand it still, but at least he could help. He could make that hidden footage less necessary to get in order to solve is damn murder.

Chris returns on day five and Leon immediately runs to him but he stops dead when he remembers Chris can't see him and even if Leon tried to hug him, it wouldn't work.

Chris's eyes scan the room for a long moment. The front door is still open and Leon peeks out of it, sees the neighbor's kids running around and playing. He wishes he could see that every day. It would give him more to do.

"Fuck." Chris crumbles where he stands, his hands running over his entire face as he holds back tears. Leon stands in front of him and feels his own heart break with how Chris tries to choke down his emotions. He bites his lip and looks anywhere but the spot the body had been. It's still so fresh and he's probably realizing the same things Leon did.

They'll never retire together like they always promised. Dreams of having a dog or a kid or both are now empty shells of hope. Of happiness. Of promises they made. Chris will sleep alone every night and Leon will watch him get up every morning to come to the same realization. He'll watch Chris cry because he lost the one person he trusted not to die on him. And Leon wishes he were really gone, just to save himself from the torture of witnessing it all with no way of stopping it. No way of comforting his husband.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Leon."

And Leon crumbles too, because Chris's voice is so soft. So broken.

"I should've been here. I should've..." Chris bites his lip again, his eyes squeezing shut. "I shouldn't have spent so long smoking after the mission. I know you hated it. It's a nasty habit and I always feel guilty after, but I thought...I thought I needed to relax." A bitter laugh escapes his lips. "Guess this is good motivation to finally stop."

Leon reaches out to touch Chris's cheek but is passed through and he nearly cries. That warmth is gone. He can't feel anything. Not the rough stubble or the curve of his soft skin. He can't trace the arch of his nose or the bags under his eyes. He'll never be able to explore Chris's features like this. He's doomed to only looking and after years of trying to convince himself that looking was all he really needed, Leon realized once again how wrong he was. He'll never be satisfied by just watching Chris. He wants to be with him. Touch him. Experience him in every way possible.

"I'll find whoever did this." His voice is still quiet but his sudden anger nearly makes Leon recoil. Chris glares at nothing as he sets his jaw. "I'll find them and make sure they can't hurt anyone else. No one else should feel like this. No one should lose something as good as you..."

"Chris..." Leon instinctively reaches for him but his fingers pass through again and it's agonizing. "I love you, Chris. Please, just know I love you."

Chris doesn't hear it. He just stands and walks through Leon, heading into the bedroom with his boots still on.

Leon cries.

This wasn't what I originally was going to make this story about, but things have changes and I wanna write more angst. I also know nothing about solving murders, so this is what you get for now. I'll still have to do the mystery part at some point, because it's what this fic is about, but later. Also, change to present tense because past tense felt awkward for this chapter.