First person to find the line from an important Grey's song in this chapter gets a sneak peak of the next upcoming Chapter.
Chapter Four
Before You Go
The first thing Derek is aware of is a voice and a small shove against his shoulder. He wants to tell whoever it is to go away, but they aren't shutting up.
"Dude get up, it's after 1pm! We slept all morning and ma's here… She's ready to blow a gasket about Amy, so you need to get up NOW." Mark whispered emphatically.
Derek yawned, turning his head to the side to find his pale and flushed sister still sleeping beside him. Her sweat soaked dark hair clung to her forehead, but at least she looked peaceful after the night she'd had. He was grateful she was able to get some rest.
He could hear his wife in the bathroom getting ready and he carefully slipped out of bed, heading in to join her.
"Mark wake you up too?" She asked, glancing at Derek in the mirror as she finished washing her face, watching as he nodded in response.
"I- Derek we need to talk." She starts gently, not really knowing how to start this conversation. "I can't allow Amy to go home with your mom. She's going to run away or start using again, and next time it won't be pretty. I don't know exactly what to do or how to do it, but I know that she can't go home right now. At least not this week. Maybe this will all be a bad idea but someone has to try something to get through to her." Addie sighs, running her hand through her hair.
He frowned, really hearing his wife for the first time.
"We're gonna have to give her back if Ma wants her back." He reminds her, pulling her in for a gentle hug. "I don't know what to do Addie. But we gotta talk to mom. We can't avoid her forever."
"I know, I just… I know your mom doesn't like me very much and I don't want to disturb the peace… but I don't have a good feeling about letting her take Amy back right now." Addison reasoned. "I stand by what I said this morning and I will fight for her if I have to. But it's not about proving your mom wrong and winning, it's just about finding the best place for Amy to feel safe and supported while she gets through this trying time in her life." Addison states, calm but firm in her resolve.
She leaves the bathroom and heads over to the bed, sitting beside a sleeping Amelia and pressing the back of her hand to the younger girl's forehead. Last night had been hard on them all. It broke Addison's heart that Amelia's crappy night had turned even crappier when she suddenly got hit with a flu bug in the early morning hours.
She knew deep down that she was probably being a bit overprotective, but she just wanted to scoop the teen up and protect her from all the bad things in the world.
"Come on Addie, let's get down there before mom comes up here and wakes Amy. Nobody needs that confrontation this morning." Derek prompted as he stepped out of the bathroom.
Pulling herself away from the teen reluctantly, Addison took his hand and followed him downstairs to where Mark and Carolyn Shepherd were waiting on them.
The four of them sat around the kitchen table talking. Carolyn was angry at first, demanding to see Amelia and refusing to believe that this wasn't just another drug-induced tantrum. After about ten uncomfortable minutes, Carolyn began to calm, and listened to what everyone was saying with an unreadable expression on her face.
"I think Amelia should stay here… with Derek and I." Addison blurts out.
"Before you say anything let me say this: I've thought about this and I don't know if this is the perfect solution, but I think we need to give it a shot." She runs her hands through her dark red hair nervously.
It wasn't thought through, but her sister in law needed help and she believed they could offer it to her.
"At least just for a week or two, until we all calm down and have time to come together as a family and figure out a plan for her." Addison paused, taking a deep breath.
"Amelia should be part of that conversation with us, but she is not herself. Not only did that sleep on the park bench earn her an awful case of the flu, but it's like she has reverted back to a scared broken little girl. Right now she is nothing like the nearly 15 year old teenager we know."
Carolyn scoffed, crossing her arms and refusing to look at the three of them.
Derek reached over and gave his mother's hand a comforting squeeze, and attempted to catch her gaze, silently asking her to let her guard down. Carolyn looked up, meeting her son's familiar dark blue eyes; inherited from her late husband and shared with her youngest daughter. She sighed and squeezed back, turning to face her daughter in law, silently giving her permission to continue.
Addison nodded, throwing the older woman a small polite smile before continuing.
"I know you are trying and that she has not made things easy on anyone this year. But I believe she is sober now and trying to stay that way, while also struggling to come to terms with everything she lost and damaged due to her actions. You have every right to still be angry with her and every reason not to trust her, she knows that. But despite what she may think, Amelia is still a child that needs to be looked after, and she also has a very serious problem that she is ill equipped to handle on her own."
"What is your point, Addison?" Carolyn asks evenly, waiting for her to continue.
"I would never even suggest this if I thought things were okay between you and her, but I think a break from each other might be good for both of you." She finishes, hoping Carolyn will agree. She really didn't want to do this but she felt like she had to.
"Addie?" Amelia rasped sleepily, wandering into the kitchen wrapped in a blanket with her eyes still half closed. The pony Addison had given her the night before in the bathroom had loosened during her restless sleep, allowing wild wisps of dark hair to escape and frame her ghostly face.
The three adults paused, turning their attention to her with concerned looks as she shuffled slowly into the room.
Amelia had seen her brother and his wife from behind as she'd entered the kitchen, and she hadn't bothered to look up again to see who they were talking to. She didn't feel well at all and was desperately seeking comfort. Her head throbbed, her throat burned, and her belly was sore and empty from vomiting all night. She had nothing left inside of her but she could still feel her guts churning uneasily.
Before she registered what she was doing she was climbing into her older brother's lap, seeking his familiar comfort. She stiffened as she realized what she had done; fearful that he might push her away. Instead he did the opposite. He pulled her into his chest, wrapping her tighter in the blanket she had dragged with her.
Addison immediately got up from the table, grabbing the thermometer to check Amelia's temperature again. She was somewhat relieved to see that her fever had gone down some, but 102 degrees was still very high.
Mark had also hopped up, making Amelia a pb&j while Addison checked her over. He cut the sandwich, placing the two halves on a paper plate before grabbing some Tylenol and a glass of water and heading to the table.
"Eat, drink, swallow, in whatever order. Just do it kid, trust me. It'll make you feel better." Mark urged, placing the food and medicine in front of her, rubbing her shoulder gently.
Amelia met Mark's concerned gaze and smiled weakly at him as he returned to his seat at the table. The last thing her stomach wanted right now was food, but she didn't want to seem ungrateful. Feeling everyone's eyes on her, she reluctantly picked up half of the sandwich. She was only able to get down a few bites before a wave of nausea hit her and she had to stop. She pushed the plate away, and curled back into Derek, swallowing hard and wrapping her arms around her upset tummy.
Carolyn watched the scene unfolding in front of her without comment. Although she maintained her stoic expression, she felt a lump in her throat and tears filling her eyes, fighting the overwhelming instinct to care for her baby herself. She wasn't sure if her youngest had even registered her presence yet, and she wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.
As if she could hear her mother's thoughts, Amelia suddenly looked up and locked eyes with her. Her reaction was harsh and immediate, as everything from the night before came flooding back to her at once.
All of the memories of their fight, the things her mom had said to her and she had said back, and mostly the general despair of feeling unloved… unloveable.
She remembered running as fast as she could from her home, her tears running endlessly down her wind burnt cheeks and her lungs burning for air. She couldn't remember exactly how she ended up at the park, let alone asleep on a bench in the rain, but the memory of the before and after was both painful and overwhelming.
With her defenses weakened by her illness, Amelia is unable to hold back the tortured sob that escapes her throat, and that's all it takes for the dam to break.
"I'm sorry mommy, I'm so sorry!" She cried deliriously, clinging to her brother's shirt. "I promise they weren't mine mama, I promise, I promise... I don't want to do that anymore. Pl-Please.. believe me." She gasped, sobbing brokenly.
She barely registered Derek's hand rubbing her back, or Addison stroking her hair in an attempt to soothe her.
After several long painful minutes of watching her daughter sob into her son's chest, she relents.
"Okay." She says quietly. Repeating herself louder when nobody could hear her.
"She can stay for a few weeks if that's what she wants... I'm not necessarily happy about this, but I love my daughter, and clearly I am not getting through to her right now the way you are. Maybe you're right… Maybe a little break is what we need." She sighs, still feeling hesitant to go home without her daughter at her side.
She doesn't know where she went wrong, and she knew she hadn't been the best parent to Amelia but she tried and loved her youngest so much. Somewhere along the way she got lost in the grief and numbness and made excuses.
"I-Carolyn. Mom." She corrects herself. "I don't want to prove anything or take over your role in her life. I just want to help her get back on track, and I think the only way to do that is for her to find some stability. She needs a safe space that she doesn't feel compelled to run from." She finished, somewhat breathlessly.
Carolyn watched Addison as she held Amelia's hand and kissed her knuckles, still stroking her hair as the girl's head rested listlessly on her brother's shoulder, her back to her mother. She could feel the love between the two surrogate sisters, and she knew that this was the right thing for her youngest.
"Ames, did you hear that?" Addison asked softly, tilting the girl's face so she could see into her red-rimmed blue eyes while she spoke.
"You are staying right here with us for a few weeks. We're going to help you while you recover from this bug, and when you are feeling better, we are going to figure things out together; all of us." Addison promised her firmly, keeping her voice gentle.
"… Really?" She croaked. Her voice is so quiet and meek that they can barely hear her.
As Carolyn stood to leave, she quietly moved around her son and crouched so her face was level with her daughter's. Amelia's eyes were watery and her eyelids were drooping, but she still watched her mother intently.
"Be good, little one." Carolyn whispered, holding back a wave of emotion as Amelia's childhood pet name slipped from her lips. "I love you very much." She pressed a kiss to her daughter's warm forehead and murmured 'goodbye' as she made a hasty exit, determined to hold back her tears until she was alone in her car.
"Mmm… love you too mama." Amelia mumbled feverishly, snuggling closer to Derek and letting sleep claim her.
End Chapter.
Chapter title: Before You Go by Lewis Capaldi