Queenie waited anxiously at the abandoned train depot. The wind howled eerily through the crumbling stone, and she shivered. I have to get out of my head. Clearly I've read too many horror novels. She pushed away the foreboding chill by stretching, reliving last night's happiness instead. Bucky was so adorable, she reflected with a grin. He had been bursting with excitement all day yesterday, and calling her 'his wife' to the team had been the cherry on top. Queenie was every bit as excited as he was, but much more shy about it. Being married hadn't really set in. Even the pleasures and glories and delights of the night before still seemed like a distant fantasy that wasn't really hers. Bucky had proven to be so much more than just the man of her dreams in so many ways; how could he really belong to her and she to him?
"Mrs. Queenie Barnes. Lieutenant Barnes," she tested, before collapsing into almost hysteric giggles. It still seemed unreal. "I'm a married woman!" She gazed lovingly at her bright and beautiful ring. "Hurry back, Mr. Barnes, your wife needs you," she whispered to it, a sudden burst of fear winding its way through her heart. "Don't you dare go and leave me when I've only just gotten you."
Boredom and a resolve to keep her mind from the dangerous mission her husband was on made Queenie reckless. She sang softly to herself, performed exercises to keep warm, and drew pictures in the snow before wiping them out with her feet. She was so focused on not focusing that it wasn't until the train was slowing down as it pulled into the station that she noticed it. Jumping up, she dashed to the first car with a smile. Bucky!
The door opened, and Gabe pushed a small man in front of him, keeping the gun trained on him. Queenie looked over Gabe to check for injuries, ignoring the scientist, before turning back to the train. Gabe was blindfolding and securing Dr. Zola as Steve exited the train, his large frame moving slowly.
"Cap'n," Queenie acknowledged, grinning. "Easy, then?"
"Oh, Queenie," Steve whispered, stopping and staring at her.
"What?" Queenie asked, peering around him, her heart beginning to pound. Where is Bucky? "Is he hurt? Oh, heavens, where is he? Steve!" She gripped the super soldier's arm tightly. No, no, no, no, no, no…
"Queens…" Steve's mouth worked before he swallowed and put his other hand on her shoulder. "I- He's gone, Queens."
"Gone?" Queenie stared. A laugh bubbled up in her chest, and she let it out, hysteria creeping in. "Gone, Steven? Gone where?" she ended shrilly.
"He- he fell, honey. I- It's all my fault. I couldn't save him. I'm so, so sorry."
"He fell," Queenie repeated, stupidly. Something was spiraling down, down, down in her heart. She had the oddest sense of anticipation, like the split second before a wave breaks or watching a glass fall to the ground and waiting for the crash. Numb, with an odd ringing in her ears, Queens stumbled back from Steve, whose grief etched more deeply onto his face as he reached for her.
"Queenie, please," he whispered, as tears began to streak down his face. The sight of tears broke the bubble within Queenie - and everything shattered. Suddenly unable to breathe, Queenie turned on her heel and ran. Cries of "Queenie!" and "LT!" chased her, but she shoved them away as she ran. This can't be real. I'm still dreaming. Bucky's here, beside me, we'll wake up and have coffee and laugh…
Queenie ran until she literally could not run anymore, sobbing too hard and trying to refill her lungs with air. Bent double, she panted and hiccuped, making no move to wipe the slime of tears and snot from her face. In the silence of the snow covered mountain, her thoughts were louder than tolling bells: Bucky's gone. Queenie curled in on herself and folded down to the ground, not even feeling the cold as it began to snow again. The snow muted everything - sound, terrain, feelings…
Blessed darkness slowly overcame her and she knew nothing more other than the beat of her heart fading as Bucky's smile danced in her vision.
'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
The remnants of Steve's Howling Commandos met one final time, before going their lonely, separate ways. The Whip and Fiddle, the faithful and popular meeting place, had been destroyed in one of the air raids on London, but none of the soldiers could find it in their hearts to meet anywhere else. The shattered windows and bottles, the torn walls, and the mangled furniture seemed the best setting for their small gathering, hearts heavy and throats tight. They moved around slowly, hats off and voices silent as they surveyed the once merry pub. It would be rebuilt, no doubt, but the team that stood here now would never be whole again.
"So here we are, at the end of it all," James finally spoke, swallowing hard, as the others avoided eye contact with each other. Even Dum Dum was uncharacteristically solemn, his gaze locked on the dilapidated piano.
"I can't believe they're gone," Jim muttered in response, shoving his hands in his pockets. He figured he'd better break the ice, because the longer they delayed, the longer this dreaded goodbye would take. "I feel like we should be able to look over our shoulders and see Bucky with his arm around Queenie." He turned his head to the door, as if the vision would come true. Indeed, even the wind whistled through the building as if a door had been opened to let in customers like times long gone.
"And Steve ribbing him for it," Gabe agreed. None of this felt real; none of it felt right.
"Je ne pourrai plus jamais regarder la neige de la même manière," {I'll never be able to look at snow the same way again} Jacques said softly, and Gabe translated for him just as gently. The others nodded gloomily. "Le froid nous les a tous enlevés." {The cold took them all away}
"Poor Queenie." James looked around the destroyed pub. "I suppose her world felt a little like this at the end. Utterly annihilated."
The Commandos reflected on the heart-wrenching events of that awful day, not one man judging the other for the tears that came and fell. After Queenie had run off, they'd tracked her as far as they could but the heavy snowfall obliterated the tracks fast. They had been forced to turn back and vainly they waited for her to appear, but she never returned to them. Knowing her grief and how quickly frostbite can set in if a person isn't aware, they unwillingly drew their conclusions and wrote the hateful report. Not long after, the war was won, but at the cost of Captain America, who saved the world from Schmidt's bombs by crashing the plane into the Arctic. Neither his body nor Queenie's had been recovered yet, and it was doubtful if they'd ever be found. Adding the loss of Bucky, the team felt completely bereft and adrift.
"We had a good thing going," Jim remarked sadly, discreetly swiping away tears.
"We've still got a good thing going." Dugan suddenly glanced up at them from twisting his bowler hat in his hands. Determination settled over his features as he continued. "Steve, Bucky, and Queenie were fighters. All of 'em. We can keep this up - we can still make a difference! We've still got the rest of Johann Schmidt's messes to clean up. I say we do, in the memory of our brothers and sister."
The others were silent, but much less melancholy as they looked at each other and thought. When had that small ray of sunshine entered the room? The room seemed less gloomy, the future less daunting as they made their choices. What were they supposed to do, without their leader and comrades-in-arms?
"Dugan, I'll join you, if only to keep you out of trouble since Queenie isn't here to do it for us," Jim decided at last, a hint of a smile around his lips.
"I've got things to take care of at home, and so does Jacques here," Gabe replied, after a quick conversation with the Frenchman. "But who knows? Perhaps the future holds more fighting for us yet."
"I'm going to need a drink," James sighed, the Englishman managing a small smile. "But I still think it sounds rather fun, despite it all."
"To the Captain, then," Dugan pulled out a flask and toasted. He passed it around as everyone took a drink. "And to the LT and Sarge, the poor souls."
"To the couple," James echoed, as the flask reached him. "May they be together in peace at last."
AN: So concludes this story. There will be one more chapter, an alternate ending, to satisfy my need for Bucky Barnes and Queenie to be happy, but this is the end of this line. Now, as I'm sure all of you noticed, no bodies were found, and as we all know, no bodies means no death. Queenie may return in another adventure, I do have snippets of a story, but we will see if a sequel comes out. But loose ends are tied up and you will get a happy ending next time I post. Thank you for joining me on this ride and I hope you enjoyed this story! After a year and a half of writing, it's finally published and I couldn't be happier. I would love to know what you think as I begin turning my focus toward future stories.
Cheers!
LH