Tw: mentions of Blood, suicide/death, self harm.

Chapter 7

How to Save A Life

Derek was not prepared for the sight he walked in on. He expected a broken window, maybe some debris in the house and a few things missing.

He certainly wasn't expecting to see his baby sister lying on the bathroom floor, barely conscious. He saw the dark red blood flowing freely from her wrist and felt his stomach churn.

He dialed 911 and quickly grabbed a towel, trying to slow the bleeding while he waited for the paramedics to show up. He briefly pondered what exactly she had done to herself, but when he saw it he felt his eyes cloud with tears. A glass shard from the broken window was lying nearby, and his medical training told him his worst fears were confirmed - this probably wasn't an accident.

"Come on, Amy! Look at me! You need to stay awake... Please Amy, please stay awake. I'm sorry, okay? I'm so sorry. I need you, I- please don't leave me." He sobbed, pleading with her and with whatever higher power he could think of.

He knew he had been a giant jerk and that he needed to be a better big brother to her, but she needed to stay with him and give him that chance.

"Why didn't you tell us you were hurting like this? We would've gotten you help! You didn't need to run away again or-or hurt yourself." He babbled, trying to keep her glassy eyes focused on him while keeping firm pressure on her wound.

When he saw her eyes slipping closed he got more insistent, shaking her forcefully.

"No! Keep those eyes open, don't you do this to me, Amelia!" he screamed. "Don't you die in my arms like dad!"

He held her frail lifeless body in his arms as he sobbed brokenly. He couldn't be too late, he couldn't be.

He didn't even register the paramedics trying to take her once they'd arrived, nor would he remember later that he had screamed at them in panic as they pried her away.

"Derek!" Carolyn Shepherd called, frantically making her way down the hospital corridor to get to her son. She was well put together on the surface but anyone who knew her well would have been able to recognize the puffy red eyes and the smith tremor in her limbs that betrayed her emotions.

Hearing his mom call for him brought Derek back into focus; back to reality and the present.

"Ma?" He croaked out, looking up at her with a lost expression on his face, his own eyes red and his face covered in tears. His voice was hoarse from all the screaming and crying he had done earlier.

"What happened? Where is your little sister?" The older woman asked anxiously, emotion and fear drenched her shaking voice, despite her attempt to remain strong for her son.

"I thought she was okay, mom. She seemed better, but... We should have paid closer attention. She ran away and I don't know why." He spilled out brokenly before continuing.

"I-I found her in our Hampton's house today… They called us about a potential break in so I went out there and -" He paused, blinking back tears.

"I didn't even consider the possibility, mom. I didn't know she would be there when I went, but I keep thinking if I hadn't gone out there -" He stopped again, an agonized cry escaping his lips.

"I tried to make her stay awake, but she stopped breathing, Ma. She cut herself and she was dead in my arms." He cried, broken by the unrelenting image in his head.

"Oh, God..." She moaned, pulling him into her arms as tears streamed down her own cheeks as maternal agony twisted in her gut. On top of her worry for Amelia, Carolyn felt incredible pain for her son. It took a lot for her boy to cry, but this was a lot.

Unfortunately, Derek didn't know much about the situation due to the state of shock he was in. He did, however, know that they were in a small town hospital, somewhere in East Hampton, New York.

This tiny hospital was where his sister was currently a patient after what appeared to be an attempt at suicide.

He remembered being told that if he had found her any later his sister would be dead right now; or still dead he supposed. She had been dead in his arms for 2 excruciatingly long minutes.

Carolyn didn't know what to think. She had received the phone call from the hospital and had driven out here as fast as she could after calling her other daughters.

She hadn't seen her youngest daughter in nearly three weeks at Amelia's request. She respected her daughter's wishes, knowing she had screwed up as much as her daughter when it came to their relationship. But that didn't mean it was easy to be separated from her child. Amelia was Carolyn's baby, her little one - significantly younger than her four other children - and still at an age where the others had been quite dependent on her. There was an aching hole in Carolyn's chest now where her Amelia should be.

She held her son quietly, waiting for an update and swallowing her own pain. She needed answers, they needed to know what had happened.

After what seemed like hours, but was really just minutes later, Mark, Lzzie and Addison appeared right behind her asking for an update. After being assured they didn't miss anything they sat down to join them in quietly waiting.

"Family of Amelia Shepherd?" A young doctor called out, stepping into the waiting room and scanning the small space. They all stand up, holding their breath and waiting to hear what the doctor had to say.

"Right, well, Amelia is going to be just fine after some rest. She woke up a bit ago, but she was fighting the doctors working to stitch closed her wounds and we had to sedate her temporarily for her own safety. She is resting now in recovery and once she wakes up she will be admitted to the psych ward for a mandatory 24 hour hold. Her cuts were quite deep and unfortunately they will scar, but with that said, she should make a full recovery within 3-4 weeks." The doctor continued, informing them that they could visit her in groups of two, but only for short periods of time each.

"You can't put her in the psych ward, are you kidding me? That will damage her even more!" Mark burst out, getting worked up. He knew Amelia would feel scared and overwhelmed if she was admitted and made to feel like a crazy person.

"Mark! Mark, calm down." Lizzie soothed. "They think she's a danger to herself right now, it's hospital policy most likely. We need to try and trust the doctors who just saved her life, as hard as this feels. It's only 24 hours, it will be over before we know it, and it's likely she will be sedated for a good portion of it. It will be okay." She explained, holding his hand tightly in here and giving it a comforting squeeze.

He curled the fist on his free hand, wanting nothing more than to smash something to release his anger, but slowly uncurled his fingers in resignation, knowing she was right.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for the parents or guardians of Amelia Shepherd?" An older woman with grey hair and wire rim glasses asked, announcing herself.

Lizzie sucked in a breath, she had a feeling she knew what this visit was about. She had been praying that this incident wouldn't cause events to escalate to this point, but she couldn't say it was a complete shock.

"Yes, I am her mother, Carolyn Shepherd. Is everything okay? The doctor just said she was fine. Who are you?" Carolyn demanded, her tone moving from confused to worried to suspicious.

"Ma." Lizzie whispered hoping only her mother could hear her. "I think she's a social worker, from Child Protective Services. Amy's doctor probably called them… As Physicians we are mandated reporters, you know this."

She continued before her mother could respond. "You need to be prepared, mom. They may be considering Amy 'at risk' in your home because of everything that has happened this last year leading up to this."

"Oh, god." Carolyn replied quietly, feeling dread creep up inside her. She silently prayed this would go away quickly. They couldn't really take her daughter away from her, could they?

Having not been nearly as quiet as she'd hoped, the social worker had overheard Lizzie's explanation.

"My name is Jillian Erickson, and I'm sorry we have to meet under these circumstances." The woman introduced herself.

"Unfortunately, Mrs. Shepherd, your daughter is correct. I have been assigned specifically to review and monitor Amelia's case. The circumstances around her hospitalization are alarming, and her mental health is clearly in question. What is more concerning to us, however, is that her file shows this is her second critical hospitalization in the last year alone." Jillian continued, adjusting her glasses along the bridge of her pointy nose.

"We are looking at a 14 year old girl who was admitted to the hospital for a drug overdose and now an attempted suicide, all occurring within the last 10 months." She paused, cracking open the file in her hand.

"Further digging has revealed an overnight stay in jail during the same time period, as well as zero record of enrollment in a school of any kind since April." She closed the file and removed her glasses, cleaning them carefully with a cloth from her jacket pocket as she continued.

"These items are problematic on their own, but it is the combination of these events occurring in such a short time frame that has placed Amelia at the top of our red flag list." The social worker revealed, staring unwaveringly at the group in front of her. She was used to dealing with angry or even contrite families. She was trained to ignore the emotions of the people she dealt with and focus solely on the wellbeing of the child she represented, no matter how difficult or unfair it might seem at times.

"Of course, yes. I realize this has been a very hard year for my daughter." Carolyn agreed, wringing her hands together anxiously. A habit she shared with her youngest.

"She fell into the wrong group of friends at her last school, and she was in a bad place, but we got her clean. It's just that, she's still a bit lost right now and is trying to find her way again. My baby girl is my sweetest and most sensitive child, she feels things deeply, and she is struggling to manage that. But she is so smart, just like her older siblings. I know she is going to get through this, Ms. Erickson." Carolyn explained, her eyes filling with tears as she spoke.

"All of her siblings have moved out of the home and have started their lives. I didn't realize at first how hard that was on her, to lose that sense of community. I know all of this looks bad, but she isn't neglected or unloved. We've been trying to get her health under control before finding a new school for her, but re-enrolling her has always been the plan. Recently, she's been staying with my son and daughter-in-law for a change of scenery, but they are both extremely responsible adults who are in medical school currently." She rambled, trying to show the woman she cared deeply, just like any other parent with a troubled child.

After about 45 minutes of discussion, it became clear that CPS wanted to remove Amelia from Carolyn's home and her custody, claiming neglect.

Of course the older two Shepherd children and Mark objected loudly at first, but once they realized that their arguments made little impact on the decision, the room had quickly lapsed into an uncomfortable silence.

Addison didn't want to say she agreed with everything the CPS Agent had to say, but she had to admit there were some valid points. It wasn't that she wanted Carolyn to permanently lose custody of the girl, or worse for Amelia to be ripped away from her family and thrown into the foster care system, but she also knew that Amelia needed more help than Carolyn could offer her right now.

"We can take her in." Addison offered quietly, but confidently. When she realized nobody had heard her, she repeated herself louder before continuing.

"Amy and I are very close, and she adores and idolizes her big brother Derek, who is my husband. He knows her better than most people, and with their age gap he has practically raised her at times. There is nothing that would break their bond, and over the years I have grown to love her just as much as he does." She paused, taking a shaky breath and gripping Derek's hand tightly. She felt him squeeze her hand back, and it was all the encouragement she needed to keep fighting.

"She is comfortable in our home, and she had claimed one of the guest rooms as her own long before this troublesome year. I realize that our age and our demanding schedules probably don't look great on paper, but we can do this, and Amy will be much better off with us than with strangers. We are comfortable financially, and caring for her is well within our means. Whatever she needs - physically, mentally, emotionally - we can and will provide it." She rushed out, wanting to make it clear that they not only wanted the young girl, but that they were prepared to take on the responsibility of her guardianship.

"I know none of this is ideal, and we understand and don't disagree that this is serious and requires intervention. But Ms. Erickson, Amy won't do well if you take her away from the only people she knows... All of the progress we have made, albeit small, will go down the drain along with any trust she has left. As her mother said, she is an extremely sensitive child. She needs to be with people she knows and trusts, not total strangers who won't understand her and that she won't let in."

Jillian sighed, her face had softened marginally as she listened to the redhead's passionate declaration. Despite her reservations about her young charge staying in her mother's custody, she did agree that avoiding foster care was preferred whenever possible.

"We will do whatever is necessary to prove we are equipped to handle this responsibility. I can have her registered in one of the top ten high schools in Manhattan as soon as she has recovered, and we will ensure she sees a therapist on a regular basis. We will do whatever it takes." Addison continued to plead, knowing she probably looked like a ridiculous begging fool.

"I love Amelia Shepherd like my own. I know it sounds crazy because we are so young, but this whole thing is crazy, and we are no strangers to caring for this child. Derek is the closest thing she has had to a dad since their father was murdered in front of them when she was only five. Please don't take him away from her too. She won't survive it..." She trailed off, her heart clenching painfully as she heard Derek's choked sobs beside her, and Carolyn's broken cries behind her.

End Chapter

Song Title: How To Save a Life-The Fray