Chapter Eight

Homecoming

Addison had called the cleaning service they used to quickly come clean the house. She had offered double the usual rate plus tip for a service if they could come out today. Derek on his end was impressed at how fast Addison could get someone over to scrub the house clean. Not that it was dirty to begin with, but Addison being Addison had wanted it to be perfect.

They had the CPS home inspection set for tomorrow, just a few hours before Amelia's release from the hospital. The pressure was mounting and they could only hope they would be approved in time.

Derek felt overwhelmed by the events of the past 24 hours, and the thought of losing Amelia to foster care made his stomach churn.

Jillian, the social worker they spoke with yesterday at the hospital, would be the one coming by to inspect their home. The list of requirements was placed on the fridge where they had left it last night in plain sight for the social worker to see they were taking things seriously.

Amelia's 24 hour psych hold had begun that afternoon and as expected, she was not handling it well at all. According to his mom, she had begged and pleaded to be released, ultimately dissolving into a panic attack that required her to be sedated for her own safety. Carolyn had not left the hospital and was determined to stay by her terrified daughter's side until they dragged her away.

He and Addison had listened to her tearful cries of betrayal and fear when they had called her earlier that morning. Hearing her sobs through the phone, slurred and disoriented from her sedation, were agonizing to listen to.

He wanted nothing more than to snatch her up and never let go, and he desperately wanted to go back out there the second the inspection was done. Her fear and her pain was his kryptonite, it had been since their lives had changed all those years ago in their father's store.

*Flashback*

Early December 1986

Derek knew now that everything in his life and his family's life had changed for the worst. He decided he would now have to step up and be the man of the house.

He tried his best to soothe his baby sister, although nothing seemed to be working. He stood holding her as the paramedics zipped their father up in a black bag and took him away. He felt the tiny arms and legs squeezing him tightly, holding onto him for dear life. Her small body heaved with sobs, choking and gasping for air as she shook violently.

He wasn't allowing himself to be upset or fall apart yet, not while his most important job was to take care of Amy. She was only a baby and she didn't deserve this. He knew rationally that neither of them should have had to witness what they both just did, but he instinctively understood how much more traumatizing this was for a 5 year old.

His mind whirled with could haves and should haves. Had he known what was going to happen that day he would have convinced his father to take the day off. He would have made sure that he wasn't at the store and he would have made damn sure his baby sister was far away from the violent scene.

The baby, as dad often called her, was hysterically crying and seemed unable to stop. The kind female police officer that was waiting with them until their mother arrived had explained to him that Amelia was undoubtedly overwhelmed, in shock, and traumatized. She had quietly told him that loud noises could be especially jarring for younger children, and that her ears were likely still ringing from the sound of the gun going off so close to them. He had cupped his hand over her exposed ear in response to this revelation, desperately trying to protect her from further torment.

They had both watched it happen, unable to look away. Reacting on instinct alone, Derek had covered his sister's mouth and muffled her cries, ultimately saving their lives as he had later been told. He hated himself for staying late today. Normally he would have come by the shop after school and picked Amy up before their dad closed up for the evening.

But today he had decided to stay and he didn't know why. He had joined Amy behind the counter where she had been playing, grabbing a well worn book and reading to her. It was a trick he often used to get his sister to fall asleep, especially since he knew his dad never forced her to nap when she was with him, and she was often cranky and tired as a result.

"Derek? Amelia?!" Carolyn's broken and frantic voice echoed throughout the room. She couldn't think about her husband right now, she needed to make sure her babies were okay.

"Mommy!" The little girl cried, wailing harder and trying to fight her brother's grip to get to her mother. Derek only tightened his hold unconsciously, he didn't want her back out there. Out there was where the blood was, and the dead body that once belonged to their dad, and where the police were still roaming around. He needed to hold her, she grounded him.

*End flashback*

The couple watched as the social worker walked through the house slowly, carefully analyzing everything with a fine toothed comb. They followed her around anxiously, pointing things out that they thought she would approve of.

"This is the room Amelia stays in when she's here. She has an entire closet full of clothes and some personal stuff here." Addison explained, showing Jillian around.

"She loves spending time here. She has her own key and knows she is welcome here anytime. As you know she's been staying here for the last several weeks, at first it was just until she got over the flu bug she had, but we're hoping to make it permanent at least for the remainder of the school year, to help her get back on track." Addison continued to explain.

"Our goal is, hopefully with permission, to have her back home in time for the new school year in late August." Derek chimed in, adding just enough to the conversation when it was warranted.

Jillian carefully evaluated the young couple and their home, taking everything into consideration. "Can you tell me what the plan is for when you two are in school or at work? If nobody is home it would be the same situation as before, would it not?" She pressed, determined to make the appropriate decision for the young girl she was assigned to protect.

Derek jumped in before Addison could answer. "We're working on finding a tutor for Amy to start with in January when she's here with us." He began.

"We have a tentative plan in place where we can maintain appropriate supervision for her while getting her back on track with school. The hospital my older sister Liz works at has a cafeteria open 24/7, so we were planning on Amy going there a few days a week with her tutor. This way Liz can check in on her every now and then and she will always have family nearby." He continued, carefully wiping a bead of sweat from his brow.

"My best friend Mark, who is part of our family and practically our brother, has also offered to help keep an eye on her whenever needed - if you approve of course." He paused, clenching his jaw as he fought the onslaught of emotion that threatened to derail his fragile composure.

"We are aware that none of this is ideal, we realize things aren't perfect, that our family isn't perfect… But, Ms. Erickson, we are her family, and we love her. We love her so much. No perfect family you find out there could ever love her the way we do." He whispered, closing his eyes in trepidation until he felt a cool hand close over his.

He looked up in time to see Jillian give him a small nod of approval.

For the first time in days, something finally went right for the Shepherd family as it was decided that temporary custody of Amelia would be awarded to Addison and Derek.

There would be strict welfare checks over the next few months to determine if she was thriving and improving in the new environment, but it felt like a win for their family in comparison to the alternative.

Amelia herself felt an incredible sense of responsibility and was determined to make the situation better for herself and more importantly, her family. She knew that there was a chance she could be taken away for good if she didn't do whatever she had to do and she needed to prove that she wouldn't be a burden to Derek or Addison the way she had been to her mother.

The Psychiatrist she'd met with at the hospital had explained to Derek and Addison that Amelia was struggling with feelings of self loathing and irrational guilt. The doctor had explained that Amelia seemed to place unrealistic, adult expectations of perfection on herself, and that she saw her family as perfect. He had stressed to them how critical it was that they remember patience, and that they remind her regularly that she is still a child and is allowed to make mistakes.

On the way home they had done their best to make sure Amelia felt safe and comfortable. Addison had deliberately sat in the backseat, and after encouraging the emotionally exhausted girl to curl up against her side, the teen had quickly dozed off while Derek drove. They could both see she was devastated but trying to be strong and not show it.

After arriving home and rousing the sleepy brunette, Addison had helped her inside while Derek followed, shouldering a duffel bag of her things that had been tearfully packed by his mother.

"Hey, why don't you go upstairs, take a warm shower and change? Then we can talk, okay?" Addison gently directed, rubbing Amelia's back soothingly.

"We aren't talking about anything surprising or bad, I promise honey. We just need to discuss a few things and we want you to be able to share your opinions and weigh in." She quickly added, seeing the anxiety growing on Amelia's pale face.

"Okay." Amy whispered, determined to be obedient. She was curious to know what kind of strict rules she'd have to live with, but she supposed she'd find out shortly.

She took her time in the shower, nervous about what they wanted to talk to her about, despite Addison's reassurance.

After about 20 minutes, she made her way downstairs to join the couple in the living room. After settling on the couch between them, she accepted the mug of tea Addison handed her and took a small sip.

"Do you want something to eat or would you rather get right into it?" Addison asked, rubbing Amelia's shoulder gently in comfort.

The teen bit her lip, eying the paper pad in front of her brother.

"Can we just get into it please?" She asked softly, gripping her mug tightly.

"Okay." Derek nodded, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"First of all, we are all new to this Ames. Addie and I are not used to being responsible for making these types of decisions, but we want so badly to make the right ones when it comes to you. We - I want to be here to support you the way dad would have if he were here." He paused, getting choked up and noticing the tears in his sister's eyes. "Please try to bear with us while we learn, okay?"

"I'll try." Amelia agreed, tear filled eyes trained to the coffee table. She was nervous they were going to give her ridiculous restrictions and stupid rules like she was some sort of baby, but she knew that she had to accept and try to follow them anyways.

"Ok, here we go…" Derek started, taking a deep calming breath and sitting up straighter.

"First of all, no drinking, no smoking, no partying - of any kind. You can have friends over, and as time goes on we will slowly increase your freedom to be independent, but right now this is a non-negotiable." He began, noticing Amelia nodding along in agreement.

"Second, you will show respect to any adult that is in charge of looking after you; whether it's mom, Mark, Liz, Addie, a therapist, or a teacher. If you need to explode on someone, you come to your big brother - you come to me; I can take whatever you throw at me and I'll never stop loving you." He said firmly, getting up to crouch in front of where she sat on the couch, forcing her to meet his eyes.

"CPS doesn't want you to be alone for the foreseeable future because of what has happened, and they took a risk allowing us to take you in considering the circumstances." He sighed, taking her hands in his.

"Amy, if they hadn't agreed to let us take you in you would have been put in foster care. So, as much as this is going to suck sometimes, when I say you need to listen to any adult, I mean all of our sisters too if they're the ones in charge; yes including Nancy and Kate." He paused seeing the look of fear on her face.

"Don't worry though, I don't think we will need to involve them much. It's mostly going to us, and occasionally Liz and Mark." He soothed, returning to his seat on the couch beside her.

Amelia sighed in relief, watching as Derek slid the list of rules across the coffee table to her.

"Here, you can read it yourself. I know you just recently learned how to do that." He teased, bumping his shoulder into hers and fishing for a smile.

She nodded in thanks, rolling her eyes playfully at his joke before reading over the list of rules.

"Well, you don't need to worry about any sleepovers, I don't have any friends anymore. They all ditched me once I stopped showing up for school." She admitted sadly. It wasn't that she'd had the best friends in the world to begin with, but at least she hadn't been completely alone like she was now.

"Well that brings us to the next point. The rules from social services. Our personal rules are those you already know, but we wrote them down anyway. Clean up your mess, keep your room clean, the usual. But, in order for the CPS agent to keep you here, you need to be in weekly therapy, both group and individual sessions, along with regular NA meetings. All of which Jillian will be checking up on." He finished.

"This wasn't as bad as I was expecting." Amelia admitted, looking over the list again.

"You are not a prisoner and you are not being punished. There is one more big thing, Ames. Regarding school, we have a few options but whatever we choose here together it's going to be what you have to stick with to get past this. We can send you to the public school down the street, a nice private school in the city, or we can get you a homeschool tutor so you can stay home and be closer to us." He explained.

"Amy, you do get to choose, but if it isn't working, we will step in and do what is best for you." He added firmly.

"That sounds reasonable I guess." She mumbled, pouting a little knowing that even 'her choice' could ultimately be controlled. "Tutoring sounds kind of cool... I don't know if I really want to go back to a big school, and I'm not really good at getting up at the ass crack of dawn to get ready anyways." She admitted with a sheepish smirk.

Derek chuckled, not bothering to reprimand her for her language; she'd get a pass just this once.

"Okay then, we can leave this paper in the office and re-visit it only as needed." Addison declared, wrapping an arm around Amelia and smiling with pride at her husband.

"How about popcorn and a movie? I think things have been heavy enough for one night, don't you think?" Addison said with a smile, placing her hands on her hips and tilting her head at her two favorite Shepherds.

Amy giggled happily at the suggestion, unable to suppress her childlike excitement.

"Can I please pick the movie? Do you have the new babysitters club one?" Amelia asked eagerly, sitting up on her knees on the couch and wrapping her bandaged arms around Derek's bicep.

"Derek used to watch the show with me everyday after school even though he hated it. I never read the books but I love it so much." Amelia explained with a big grin, bouncing a little on the couch in anticipation of their answer.

"Go check under the tv. I was planning on giving you that for your birthday but I guess this would be okay too." Derek said lovingly, watching his sister's face light up. Now he knew he had to find the books for her too; she deserved to be spoiled a little.

He was starting to understand why his dad had always been so spellbound by the youngest Shepherd. It wasn't her bright wit and cleverness that had stolen his adoration, it was her natural effervescence and spirit that his father had gravitated towards. In that moment, Derek finally saw Amelia the way their father had, and he silently promised his dad he would carry that legacy forward, to love and protect her the way Christopher Shepherd would have wanted for his youngest daughter.

Amelia skipped over to the TV and put the tape in the VCR before quickly scurrying back to the couch to snuggle in between her brother and sister-in-law, excited to watch the movie.

She was actually surprised at how well the evening had gone. She wasn't thrilled about having babysitters 24/7, but deep down she kind of liked that she would get the attention she had been craving, and she liked the idea of having clearer rules and structure in her life. At least if she knew her boundaries she'd know when she was about to do something wrong. Unlike at home with her mom, where it felt like all she did was disappoint.

It had been a long time since she'd watched a movie and cuddled with anyone who loved her, and it felt good. It felt really, really good.

End Chapter

Song Title: Homecoming by Kayne West