EPOV

The moment I arrived at the hospital, I went to eavesdrop on Bella. It didn't take much to convince the EMTs that I was fine, and if I started having pain I would let Carlisle know. I wanted to make sure she was okay.

In my existence, I wasn't sure if it was possible to go into shock. But that was the feeling I had when I heard Bella almost-whisper her diagnosis.

"Stage 4 Cancer. Thyroid. Metastatic."

I didn't know how to react, part of me was angry that she hadn't said anything which was completely irrational of me, part of me wanted to go to her and comfort her or perhaps demand to know more. Going to Carlisle seemed like the best idea, so I went. He made more medical knowledge than I did, he could fix this. Again, rationally I knew that he could not, but I didn't want to acknowledge that truth just yet.

I walked as fast as a human could into Carlisle's office. He looked surprised to see me.

"I was right." I didn't want to say anything more than that, we had known each other long enough that he could infer the rest.

"Edward…" he sighed. 'I'm sorry.'

I chuckled darkly. "Why? She is just another human, nothing to me." The words tasted bitter in my mouth.

"You risked all of us to save her, that doesn't seem like nothing." Carlisle always saw the best in me. 'I'm glad you did what you did, we will figure the rest out'

"She's dying. All I did was buy her time." I was trying to convince myself not to care, but subconsciously I knew it was too late, I cared, probably too much. "Can you take a look, see if there's anything you can do?"

"Of course." I sighed, why was I doing this. 'Maybe you should consider Alice's vision."

I glared at him for that, I had no desire to turn Bella into a monster. 'Look at how much you care for her. You have only had a handful of interactions with the girl, and you've become attached. Think about this. Really think.'

"Carlisle. You just thought it yourself, I don't know this girl." Trying to convince both him and myself.

"Maybe you know her better than either of you think." With that he left, I thought long and hard about what my next move would be. Carlisle was right, I was already too attached. Bella's time was fleeting, but I didn't have to involve myself. Like I could detach myself, I thought cruelly. I could try to resist the gravitational pull I felt towards Bella, I would resist, and it would be for the best, I thought as convincingly as I could. After Bella agreed to switch to Carlisle's care, for which I was grateful, I knew Carlisle would do everything he could for her, and after a surprisingly heated argument with Bella, I knew I had to maintain my distance.

That night, I fought an intense argument with my family. Jasper and Rosalie thought it dangerous to keep Bella alive, I thought it best to leave, Emmett, Alice, Esme, and Carlisle all were against that idea.

Alice looked at Bella's future. At the moment, I would either kill her, change her, or she would die and that would in turn destroy me. When I saw the bright red eyes in Alice's vision, I became angry. I would not subject Bella to this half-life. I thought about leaving again. Alice saw that if I had left again, she would be miserable and she would die. This shocked me, she couldn't feel the pull I felt toward her, could she?

After Bella's death, I would be inconsolable, angry, and for a second I saw myself in front of the Volturi. This didn't make sense to me, how could I become so attached to this human?

"You will fall in love with her," Alice said.

"How positively Edward. Falling in love with a human." Rosalie said in slight disgust with Emmett laughing with her. I didn't want to encourage her by telling her I was not only to fall in love with a human, but a dying one at that. There was little privacy in this house, they would all know in time.

'She's dying, Edward. You have to make the choice. We need you here, she'll be less likely to say anything with you here.' Alice and Esme had the kindest thoughts about this situation.

"She's not going to say anything." I assured her.

"We could take care of her," offered Jasper.

This time Alice defended Bella. This was unsurprising considering she had seen them becoming close.

"She's my friend, at least she will be. So I'll be pretty upset if you hurt her." Alice added in her thoughts 'Another reason for you to stay, you can't leave her here unprotected.

I scoffed at that.

Carlisle spoke next. "No harm should come to Bella. She is innocent in all of this."

After all was said, I still was unsure of what my course of action would be. Carlisle retreated to his office, and I followed. I knew he had read all of Bella's files, now would be the time to get answers and solutions. However, when I asked Carlisle, he was apprehensive, at best, about divulging her history.

'You could always talk to Bella to find out.'

I rolled my eyes. We were vampires, but he was worried about doctor-patient confidentiality. He was moral to a fault.

"You know I'll find out anyway." I argued.

'Perhaps you should think about why you care this much.'

"I don't want to think about that. Just tell me, please."

And he did. The prognosis wasn't good. They had done many failed rounds of chemo, stopping several years ago, then they tried experimental trials, which failed too. In those years, the cancer had metastasized in her bones. It was likely that soon it would be in her lungs, she would need help breathing, possibly stopping school to preserve energy, it looked like Bella had done online schooling on and off trying to keep up with her class. But everything that was being done, was just buying Bella time, this was terminal. It made me feel worse, knowing what I had said to her about being unsure of saving her.

The next month was awful. The first week Tyler Crowley was tailing Bella everywhere to repent. His thoughts were a mix of apologies to Bella and wanting Bella. For the first few weeks, all of Bella's suitors, most of them had less than pure thoughts about Bella, were especially doting, I could see that this was irritating her.

After the accident, I made sure none of my family looked over at her, and I took to ignoring her as best as possible in Biology.

The first day Bella greeted me in Biology, I ignored her. She didn't try to speak to me again. I watched her day after day, the curiosity killing me, I wanted so badly to know what she was thinking.

In Biology, when we were put in groups, I picked a different group. I was trying to distance myself to gain some perspective, but nothing helped. Bella invaded most of my thoughts.

I had to keep reminding Alice to stay out of it, that this was for the best. I even begrudgingly heard when three different suitor's of Bella's asked her to the spring formal. I was amused when she declined, less and less politely each time, saying she was going to Seattle that day. They each tried to convince her, she wouldn't budge. I had even blocked her car from leaving to give Tyler his opportunity. I was right to wait, the look of annoyance in her face when he asked, and then her horrified expression when Tyler brought up prom.

That night was the first night I watched over her. At first I watched from a tree just making sure she was safe, then made my way inside, sitting in the rocking chair watching her breathe.

"Okay, mom," Bella muttered.

Bella talked in her sleep.

"Edward," she muttered.

If my unbeaten heart could race, it would have. For a second, I thought she had awoken and seen me, but she was still asleep. I thought about looking through her books and CDs, but I wouldn't take any more risks. I couldn't help but wonder if there was someone she would have 'yes' to. Was it me? She was dreaming of me. I wished I could be human just so I could dream of her. I could not dream of her, and she should not dream of me.

"Edward, don't go. Please...don't go."

She was dreaming of me and it wasn't even a nightmare.

If my heart could beat again, it would've.

I loved her. It was utterly ridiculous. I would try to be strong enough to leave. Was leaving really the best option? Could I live in a world where I let Bella die?

I see a journal on top of her desk. I stop myself, although I'm a selfish, self-indulgent, curious creature, I think I've broken enough rules today. I was walking a fine line. Three options: spend what little time she had left together and let her die, change her, or leave. Now there were two options, I didn't have the strength to stay away anymore.