BPOV

As soon I saw Charlie's worried expression, I didn't give him a chance to start talking outside, "Can we talk inside, Dad?"

He looked me up and down, I think it was to make sure I was okay. Once he saw no obvious signs that something was wrong, he nodded and we went inside.

"What happened?" He demanded gently.

"Nothing happened, we were blood typing in Biology, you know how I am with blood." I shuddered trying to make light of the situation.

"Bells, you scared the hell out of me. I got a call that you were being sent home early. That you passed out."

"That's a little dramatic, I just got a little lightheaded."

"How do you still get like that with a little blood? It's been years." He looked like he was easing up a little, definitely enough to tease me.

I shrugged. "Some things never change."

I chuckled. I hoped he wouldn't bring up Edward.

"Who was that boy? You know I saw him." I guess that was too much to hope for.

"A friend. He's in my Biology class and brought me home." I said as nonchalantly as I could. I also carefully avoided that he was ditching class when he saw me.

"What kind of friend?" He questioned.

"A friend. Come on, let's not talk about boys." I wanted this conversation to be over.

"Mhm… does he know?" While Charlie respected my wish to live whatever life I had left as normally as possible, but he also considered omission, especially information this significant, a lie. He didn't like to lie on principle, and this was no exception.

"No, Dad. He doesn't, we are just friends. Does he really need to know?" I knew Edward did, it was only fair. I also knew I didn't want him as only a friend. Based on previous experience, dying or really sickness of any kind, was enough to make someone leave. I wanted Edward to be the one to stay, even if it was selfish.

"I am happy that you're making friends, I want that for you, I feel like I leave you here alone too much-" I quickly cut him off, my lack of a social life was, for the most part, my own doing.

"I'm fine being alone, I guess I'm like you like that." He gave me a small smile and nodded slightly.

"There are some kids going down to First Beach on Saturday," he eyed me warily, "I'm not sure if I'm going to go, depends on how I'm feeling. But I did use you as an excuse, if I didn't go."

He chuckled and shook his head. He would be fishing tomorrow with Billy.

"Alright, if you don't go, I can stay here with you."

"No, Dad, go. Please. I think our fish supply is getting dangerously low. We may only have a few years worth." He chuckled.

"You are really easy to live with Bella." I smiled, this wasn't true. I knew that. But it was still nice to hear.

The next day came and went and on Saturday I didn't quite feel up to a day at the beach. I sent a text to Jessica, that Charlie had wanted me to stay home and catch up on homework. I secretly think she was pleased that I couldn't go.

When Billy came by the house, I was surprised that his son, Jacob was with him.

These fishing trips were usually just Billy, Charlie, and Harry.

"Bella!" Jacob looked eager to see me.

I vaguely remembered him and his sisters from early childhood.

I was not surprised that my dad had concocted this plan to give me company for the day. He probably figured I wouldn't want to go hiking on the beach. I, of course, accepted his company for the day.

For the first half hour, we sat quietly in front of the TV. Jacob was the first to break the silence.

"So, how are you?" It was the way he said it that told me he knew. It was how a lot of people talked to me in Phoenix.

I chuckled slightly. It didn't surprise me that he knew, Charlie would have told his best friend and it was only natural that his son found out eventually.

"So, you know?" I said, a little smug.

He wrinkled his nose. "Maybe? God, I hope we are talking about the same thing." He laughed a little.

His boyish demeanor put me at ease. It was hard not to smile when he was smiling.

"Well there's the cancer that's slowly killing me, unless there's another secret of mine that you know of." When talking about being sick, I always felt responsible for putting other people at ease. Whenever we got bad news, it was my responsibility to make Renee and Charlie feel better, to comfort them, even if I was the one who wanted comfort. That was my burden to carry, and it was very little in comparison to what Renee and Charlie had done for me.

Jacob looked a little surprised that I would say something like that, but he chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, like you could have more than one secret. I do remember how terrible of a liar you were." He nudged my shoulder and I laughed, I guess I had always been a bad liar.

"Well, you wouldn't know. I could have more than one. That's why they're called secrets."

He laughed.

"I think that's why Charlie arranged for you to spend the day with me, he feels bad leaving me alone, it makes him worry." I shook my head, laughing.

"You mean, our dad interfered in our lives. I can't believe that." He said sarcastically.

"I was supposed to go to the First Beach, but I didn't feel up to it." His expression quickly changed to worried. I rolled my eyes.

"Are you okay? Do you need me to call Charlie?" Jake asked, slightly frantic.

"I'm feeling fine, maybe a little tired, but mostly antisocial today." I admitted. While this was true, I also had very little interest in going, it sounded crazy, but I missed Edward.

"Sounds like you."

"Hey! I choose to be antisocial, thank you very much." I scoffed, that wasn't entirely true. "Yeah, I even invited someone to the beach."

"You invited someone, even if you weren't going to go? Who?" He laughed, but he sounded a little jealous.

"One of the Cullens. Why?"

"The Cullens don't go to La Push." He said, his tone was joking, but I wondered if there was more.

"Why?" I tried to ease my curiosity, but I'm sure it still came through in my tone.

"It's just an old story. My dad actually believes it, but I'm not so sure." He chuckled. "He's a superstitious old man."

"Can you tell me the story?"

"It's kinda supposed to be secret."

"I can keep a secret." I fluttered my eyelashes at Jacob, feeling incredibly stupid for trying to flirt with him.

Whether it was the attempted flirting or a cancer perk, I don't know, but Jacob told me the stories of the Cold Ones.

"You have goosebumps." He laughed.

"You're a good storyteller." I complimented him, looking out the window.

"I think I just violated the treaty" He laughed.

"I'll take it to the grave." I promised.

"That's not funny." He sounded a little upset with that comment.

"Relax, that's a pretty common expression, Jacob." I reminded him.

"Sure, sure." he said dismissively.

"So is this Cullen, your boyfriend?"

I playfully nudged his shoulder. "He's a friend."

"When I get my license…," he started.

"You should definitely come visit. Charlie thinks I spend too much time alone." I felt a little bad, like I head led Jacob on. So I added, "He thinks I need more friends."

"And you don't agree?" He questioned. I wrinkled my nose and shook my head. We spent the next couple of hours watching TV talking on and off. When Charlie finally came home and Jacob had left, I told him what I thought of the ambush this morning.

"I know you did that on purpose," I accused, there was no anger in the accusation. It had been nice spending the day with Jake.

"Not sure what you're talking about, Bells." Charlie said feigning innocence. I shook my head.

"Sure, you don't," I said sarcastically.

"Bella, it isn't healthy to be alone all the time."

"I'm fine." I promised him. He didn't look like he quite believed me. I ate something quick, more for Charlie's benefit, and told him I had a lot of homework to do.

Once in my room, I locked the door, put some headphones, I played the CD that Phil had given me for Christmas. I picked up my journal, and sat down at my desk.

I had never been one for recounting my day or even my feelings, but I did enjoy writing poetry, it was the only time I could be a little dramatic without the feeling of guilt. I didn't think it was very good, but doctor after doctor told me writing was cathartic, that it would help the depression.

I also didn't think I was depressed.

I had this one line in my head,

Have I known you twenty seconds, or twenty years?

I wasn't sure where I was going with that, I guess time would tell.

After taking my nightly supplements, I laid down in my bed. While the music was drowning out any noise, I couldn't help but think about what Jacob had told me.

I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I jolted awake from a nightmare. My light was still on and I was still in the clothes from yesterday. It was five-thirty in the morning. After changing out of my jeans, I tried to fall asleep again, but it was futile.

I went to take a shower, and forget the thoughts of Jacob's story. The shower didn't last long. I took the time to blow dry my hair, anything to take up more time. I went to see if Charlie was home, I couldn't really tell if he was up or not. I looked out the window, his cruiser was gone, he was fishing. I took my supplements again, and I went to eat some breakfast.

On the table, I saw a note with Charlie's handwriting:

I'll leave you on your own for today, if you need anything, call. Please.

Love, Dad.

This note made me a little sad, I moved to Forks so Renee could adjust to me not being around, Charlie was used to being on his own. I didn't want to worry Charlie. I hated this, there was no right answer. Charlie had only ever had me two weeks every summer, but he flew down every time there was a major surgery, or something else had gone wrong.

I left sick.

I wasn't really up for eating again, but I forced down some cereal. Nothing helped take my mind off of everything.

I meticulously washed my dishes, taking extra care and time to put them away. When I was done I dragged my feet up the stairs. I started my modem first, I didn't like using the internet because of this. I went to my CD player next. I kept the same CD, trying to drown everything out. After a few minutes, my computer was finally up. I hated Googling, it never led to anything good. Sometimes the saying was right, ignorance was bliss, this was not one of those times.

I started with a simple phrase, Vampire.

At first, the only things were from movies and books. But after a few minutes, I saw something a little more promising. After a while I saw a recurring theme: strong, pale, cold-skinned, blood drinkers, and immortal.

A little annoyed, I shut down my computer. Through my annoyance, I felt embarrassed. What was wrong with me? I'd need to tell Dr. Cullen, I was going insane. That was the only answer that made sense. Maybe it was Forks, maybe my looming prognosis was finally catching up with me?

I had to leave the house. There was nowhere I wanted to go, but I put on some boots, and walked outside.

I saw a thin trail from the woods surrounding my house. I started walking the trail, my anger pushing me forward. After a while, I started to feel out of breath, tired. I really was an idiot. I sat on a fallen tree trying to muster enough energy to go back home.

While on the way back I thought of the most vital questions I had to answer, even if I was unwilling:

One, I had to decide if the story Jacob told could be true?

I shook my head. This was a no. I shouldn't be entertaining this weird, morbid, silly fantasy. But then what? There was no rational reason that I was alive now. There were all kinds of little things that were falling into place: the way they sounded, the way they spoke, the inhuman beauty, the disturbing grace.

Were the Cullens vampires?

And then the second question, what would I do if it was true?

If Edward was a vampire- I could hardly think the word- then what should I do? Involving someone else was definitely out. Charlie would probably think I had a tumor in my brain now. I chuckled darkly. Of course, that would be my luck. But, also, I didn't want any harm to come to Edward.

I had two practical options. Take his advice: to be smart, to avoid him as much as possible, to tell him to leave me alone-and mean it this time. I gripped in a sudden agony of despair as I considered that alternative.

I already knew my answer, I was in too deep. There was nothing more that I wanted right now than to be with him.

I was almost home when another thought gripped me. If this was true, if the Cullen's weren't human, did they know about me? I laughed at the thought of a family of vampires abiding by doctor-patient confidentiality. Edward had ignored for a month after the accident, had he heard? Did it take him a month to come to the same conclusion, that we were in too deep?

It was noon when I got back. Just trying to keep myself sane, I worked on school work. It was a really productive day. When Charlie got back with more fish, I decided I would pick up a cookbook in Port Angeles with Jess and Angela.

The days passed, it was unusually sunny in Forks. It normally would have made me happy, except I didn't see Edward.

The week passed quickly, and soon I was on my way to Port Angeles with Jess and Angela.