On Begged and Borrowed Time Chapter 11, a twilight fanfic

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Bella's writing is a song. It's very good, have a listen.

It bothered me how SM never Bella didn't have any 'talents' while she was human, so I gave her one.

There was a mix-up with the chapters, so I decided to update some more.

BPOV

"Wait, just one more," I pleaded.

"Fine. One," he sighed.

"Well you said that you knew I had gone south, how?"

He took a deep breath.

"I thought we were past all the evasiveness."

He almost smiled.

"I followed your scent."

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. He kept his eyes on the road giving me a chance to compose my face.

"And then, you didn't answer my first question. How does the mind-reading thing work?" I was stalling.

"That was more than one question." He pointed out. I looked at him pointedly, waiting for him to continue. "It's just me. Not my whole family. And I can't read everyone's mind everywhere. The more familiar someone's voice, the further I could hear it. But still no more than a few miles. Everyone except for you. Which brings us back to you."

I sighed. How to begin?

"Aren't we past the evasiveness now?" He reminded me.

That was when I looked away from his face, and looked at the speedometer.

"Oh my god, are you trying to kill us?"

"Relax, Bella, we're not going to crash." He rolled his eyes.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" I tried to modulate my voice.

"I always drive like this." He turned to smile at me.

"Keep your eyes on the road."

He grinned, "I've never been in an accident, Bella. I've never even gotten a ticket." He tapped his head. "Built-in radar detector."

"Very funny. Charlie's a cop, I was raised to abide by traffic laws." He sighed, and much to my relief, he slowed down to 80.

"Happy?"

"Almost."

"I hate driving slow," he muttered.

"This is slow?"

"Enough commentary on my driving. I'm still waiting on your latest theory."

I bit my lip. He looked down at me unexpectedly gently, "I promise I won't laugh."

"I'm more afraid that you'll be angry with me."

"Is it that bad?"

"Pretty much, yeah. I also didn't come up with it on my own."

"More comic books?"

"No, last Saturday I decided not to go to the beach. I didn't really feel up to it."

He looked slightly worried. I sighed.

"I'm fine, just slightly antisocial." The corner of his mouth twitched up.

"Charlie went fishing, but he didn't want to leave me alone. He ambushed me with an old family friend, Jacob Black. His dad and my dad have been best friends since I was a baby." He still looked confused. "His dad is one of the Quileute elders."

His confused expression froze in place.

I continued. I told him about the story Jacob had told me to pass the time, how he didn't quite believe it, and how he mentioned the Cullens. I also explained how I had slightly flirted with Jacob Black, to get him to tell me the story. My face was burning up when I had told him that.

"I'd have liked to see that. Poor Jacob Black, and you accuse me of dazzling people," he teased.

"I don't think it was the flirting, probably more of a dying person perk," I admitted.

"What did you do then?"

"Well I felt incredibly silly, but I did a little research on the Internet."

"Did that convince you?"

"No, nothing fit. Most of it was silly, then…," I stopped.

"What?" He said, barely veiling his impatience.

"I decided it didn't matter."

"It doesn't matter?" His tone made me look up.

For we went back and forth a while, he answered my questions. I think he wanted me to run. He clarified what was fact and fiction, myth and reality. I even told him my theory about his eyes, he confirmed it. He had gotten back a few days ago.

"I didn't like it. Not seeing you. It makes me anxious too," I blushed to be saying this out loud.

He was quiet, and then said, "Ah, this is wrong."

"Probably," I said and then I saw the hurt flash on his face, and clarified my statement, "But not for the reason you think, I'm dying, you know that." I sighed, then continued.

"It has always been a sort of rule of mine, you heard me that one day, acquaintances not friends. It is unfair for me to drag more people into my life knowing how it ends. My parents, I can't do much about. That was part of the reason I left, to give Renee a chance to adapt to life without me. But everyone who attaches themselves to me, will also have to mourn me. I don't want that. But for some reason, I couldn't keep you at arm's length, it's unfair and selfish, but it's too late for me at least."

"Never say that." He snapped. He chuckled darkly. "I am not the victim of us. Why am I not surprised that out of all things you should worry about with me, you worry about my suffering?" He said shaking his head.

"Works both ways don't you think? You want me to run away, and I want you to do the same, if only for the sake of making it easier. Funny, how that works out."

He remained silent. We were still 20 minutes away from Forks.

"How long?" His musical voice broke the silence.

"For what?" I responded although I knew what he was asking. How long did I have? It was a question that haunted me and my family for years.

"How long do you have?" He said through gritted teeth.

"You don't know?" I questioned. That was interesting to me, I still didn't know how many details he had.

"No, Carlisle kept that under wraps. I couldn't bring myself to ask."

"I don't know," I answered honestly, "It's changed a couple of times, depends on how fast the cancer metastasizes. I used to ask early on, but I learned pretty quickly to not ask questions you don't want answers to. You know ignorance is bliss and all that. I'm sure my parents know, but they respected my choice to not know. I suppose once they start looking at caskets, I'll know."

"That's not funny," he snapped.

"Yeah, probably not. Sorry." He rolled his eyes.

"You're ridiculous," he added. This time he chuckled.

"I know," I shrugged. "You should ask your father."

"I doubt he'll tell me," he paused, probably to think about his next question. "Is that why you moved to Forks, then?"

"Once I stopped responding to treatments, It was hard to see Renee like that, so hopeless. Traveling with Phil gave her a little bit of solace, but she didn't like leaving me. So I left, so she could get used to life without relying on me, so she could learn to be happy without me." I realized I had made the mood too heavy, so I added. "Plus, Charlie should get to spend some time with me too, and he doesn't make me do support groups or anything like that. Thank goodness." I sighed that last part in relief.

"You know, you don't have to do that?"

"What?"

"Lighten everyone else's load. It is a heavy burden to carry."

"I really read like an open book," I chuckled. "Either way, it's not easy for them. Not only do they get the burden of watching me die, emotionally, they also get the burden financially. If I can make it easier by saying 'I'm fine' over and over, taking care of Charlie and Renee a little, then I'll do it." It seemed like a no-brainer to me.

"That's not really fair."

"Like I said before, life's not fair."

"I suppose."

"Any other questions, once this car ride is over, I'm not answering any cancer-related questions, especially at school." I shuddered. I really didn't want to answer any more, but I figured it was better to get it over with.

Edward paused to think for a second.

"So no one knows? Why?"

I shrugged, "In Phoenix, there was no hiding anything. Chemo had made me bald, I did homeschooling on and off. I was by all definitions the 'sick kid'. One time a kid asked me if he could catch what I had. Once we stopped treatment, I looked somewhat normal, maybe a little pale, my hands a little cold sometimes, but the damage was done. Every doctor I saw, said to live life as normally as possible. So when I came here, I saw an opportunity, I swore Charlie to secrecy, to an extent of course, and I didn't say anything. Of course, now I can't get out of Gym, but you win some you lose some. But that was why my doctor was in Port Angeles, of course that wasn't going to work. I'm sure people will find out eventually and they'll stay away like they did before. Billy's family knows too."

"You were going to drive to Port Angeles for every doctor's appointment? You know HIPPA exists for a reason, right?" He chuckled.

"And you know how?" I shot back.

"Point taken, but I have some inhuman advantages," he reminded me.

"Remember, there are no secrets in Forks. Some doctor or nurse will find out, and they'll tell their family about how tragic it is, secrets spread like wildfire. Except yours, of course."

"Of course. And your suitors?"

"What suitors?" I asked honestly. Edward just scoffed in response. "They don't know me, they see what they want. Eventually, they'll figure out I'm not worth the trouble."

"You really don't see yourself the way I see you." I blushed at Edward's response.

"And I think you have the same problem," I remarked.

We pulled out on my street. I started shrugging out of his jacket.

"You keep it, you don't have one for tomorrow."

"Thanks, but I really don't want to have to explain this to Charlie."

"Oh, right." I gave him his jacket, getting one last whiff of the smell.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" I asked before getting out of the car.

"Yes," he answered.

"Do you promise?"

"I promise." I got out of the car.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Will you promise me something?" I nodded, sightly apprehensive. "Don't go into the woods alone. I'm not always the most dangerous thing out there." He left it at that.

"Okay, whatever you say."

"I'll see you tomorrow," he sighed.

"Tomorrow, then" I turned to walk away.

"Bella," I turned again, if I kept this up I would get dizzy. "Sleep well."

I smiled and stumbled to the front door.

I guess we had been talking out front for too long, Charlie was waiting.

"Was that the same boy that dropped you off the other day?" I cringed, I wasn't sure how to approach this.

"Yes."

"I thought you were going with Jessica and Angela." He looked at me questioningly. I couldn't tell him Edward had followed me and saved me from some creeps.

"I was with them. Edward was in Port Angeles too, I went off on my own to find a bookstore, and I saw him there." Charlie looked a little upset that I went off on my own. "He didn't want to let me walk around alone, so he joined the three of us for dinner. He offered to drive me home." I hoped Charlie bought the lie. He would never let me leave the house again if he heard the truth.

"You really shouldn't go off on your own, who knows what could have happened. I'm glad you weren't walking around alone." Then he looked at me pointedly. "Have you told him yet?"

"Yeah, he knows," I sighed. I didn't tell him that he had known for a while.

After Charlie was satisfied with my answers, I went upstairs. I called Jess, after I reminded her to bring my jacket the next day, she made me promise to give her all of the details of my evening with Edward. I dragged myself into the shower thinking of everything that had transpired today. I was exhausted. But still I opened my journal to a new page, there was something about tonight that I felt needed to be memorialized:

Ivy

How's one to know?
I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones
In a faith forgotten land
In from the snow
Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow
Tarnished but so grand

And the old widow goes to the stone every day
But I don't, I just sit here and wait
Grieving for the living

Oh, goddamn
My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand
Taking mine, but it's been promised to another
Oh, I can't
Stop you putting roots in my dreamland
My house of stone, your ivy grows
And now I'm covered in you

I wish to know
The fatal flaw that makes you long to be
Magnificently cursed
He's in the room
Your ocher eyes are all I wish to see
He wants what's only yours

Clover blooms in the fields
Spring breaks loose, the time is near
What would he do if he found us out?
Crescent moon, coast is clear
Spring breaks loose, but so does fear
He's gonna burn this house to the ground

How's one to know?
I'd live and die for moments that we stole
On begged and borrowed time
So tell me to run
Or dare to sit and watch what we'll become

So yeah, it's a fire
It's a goddamn blaze in the dark
And you started it
You started it
So yeah, it's a war
It's the goddamn fight of my life
And you started it
You started it

Oh, I can't
Stop you putting roots in my dreamland
My house of stone, your ivy grows
And now I'm covered
In you
In you, you
Now I'm covered in you
In you

I felt a little better, I always did after writing. I laid down in bed.

There were three things I was sure of. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him-and I don't know how dominant that part might be- that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.