EPOV

"I finished my work, so I left early," I said shrugging, this was partly true.

The whole day I heard an array of thoughts about Bella and myself.

'Maybe he'll need a shoulder to cry on when she's gone.'

That one particularly upset me, how cavalier they were with Bella just being gone. Although none of them knew her quite as well as I did.

Mike had a romanticized version of what Bella was going through, one where she didn't wake up screaming in agony, but where she lived happily ever after with him once she overcame her illness. I could hear the condescension in his thoughts. The more I saw Bella in his thoughts, the more I realized he didn't ever really see or appreciate Bella, just the idea of a pretty face with no regard to her intelligence, bravery, wit, or any of the other things that made Bella, Bella.

Several people wondered if I stayed with Bella out of pity, not because I was infatuated and deeply in love with her.

Although, the reason I was allowed to leave my last class was because the teacher figured I was checking on Bella. My teacher's thoughts were filled with sadness for the two of us. It was a cancer perk, like Bella called it.

They didn't even know half of the irony of our situation, myself with boundless amounts of time, and her living on borrowed time. Maybe I was right about her being my personal hell on Earth, I would exist for eternity knowing and loving her and she had a countdown on her days. It was a cruel fate, really. I would always love this fragile human girl, for the rest of my limitless existence.

'Although it doesn't have to be,' the incessant thought in the back of my head kept reminding me. I was still struggling to reconcile how I felt about what I am to changing Bella.

I could see the exhaustion that formed on her face throughout the day, I would tell Carlisle my observation. This would upset Bella, of course. I had hoped Bella would see that school was too much for her, I think part of the reason she was stubbornly holding on to school was that it was the first step of her not being able to live, a step closer to her early grave.

I wasn't sure how to talk to her about us, was it foolish to think that she would like to join me in immortality? That she would want me forever?

Last week, at Bella's house, when my siblings were helping me keep Bella company, Jasper swore that she loved me as intensely as I did for her. I heard it in his thoughts, our love even lightening Jasper's mood, and making him lovingly think of Alice. This was just another thing Bella had changed about me, I used to detest being around all the lovey-dovey thoughts that were always present with 3 mated pairs, but now I understood. It was the way I thought about Bella.

I could hear the protectiveness Emmett now had for Bella. He had felt like a protective older brother to Bella ever since he had heard the agony in her screams that forsaken night. If he could hear the thoughts people were having about Bella, I doubt he'd restrain himself as much as I had.

Carlisle was right, I should simply have a conversation with her, but there was no reasonable way to do so. Of course there was nothing normal or reasonable about my relationship with Bella. How did one ask one's significant other if they'd like to become a vampire too, just for the sake of never having to lose them. This would be the most selfish thing I would ever do, risking Bella's soul for me. But if Bella wanted this life, me, forever? I would be lying if I said that didn't make the smallest part of me happy.

"Edward," Bella's voice took me out of my thoughts. "Do you want to go?" She nudged her head to the door. I nodded, grabbing her hand and leading her to my car.

I had been much more affectionate with Bella than before, I wasn't lying when I said that the bloodlust wasn't an issue for me anymore. Seeing her like that, solved that for me. I took every chance I could to show Bella affection, I felt like if I let her go, she would disappear.

"How much did you hear back there?" Bella sounded concerned. Of course she was, I saw the hurt cross her face earlier through Mike's and Angela's thoughts, though neither of them picked up on it. Even when she needed comfort, she was alway comforting others, always putting everyone else first.

"Edward-," she was about to tell me how she was fine, but I interrupted her with an intense kiss. I could hear her heart racing as I played with a strand of her hair. We stayed like that for a minute, before she needed to catch her breath.

Her breathing was uneven, her face blushing, "That blush is a lovely color on you," I said, pleased that I could elicit this reaction from her.

"I've said it once, and I'll say it again, you don't play fair."

I laughed because neither did she. I helped her load her tank into my car and closed her door. I got in the car, and started driving to Bella's house.

"So, what are you thinking, school-wise?"

She sighed. I knew this was hard for her. I gently squeezed her hand.

"I don't know, Edward. I know how you and Charlie feel, but I really wanted to try, you know. It's complicated."

"Forget about everyone else for just a second." She looked at me in disbelief, like that clearly wasn't an option. "Just for a second. What do you think?"

"I can't forget about everyone else. You know that," she sighed. "But, I'm not sure. When did everything get so complicated?"

I could see the tears forming in her eyes, the frustration on her face. She did her best to hide it. She had once told me she cried out of anger, that she felt it was her most embarrassing habit. I didn't agree, to me Bella was perfect.

I knew if given the option she would never quit, even if is was hurting her.

"Well, you'll see Carlisle tomorrow." She rolled her eyes, she hated anything medical, even if it was just Carlisle. "Maybe he has some more input."

"He already agreed that I could keep going to school," she argued. "Don't try to sway him either."

I snickered.

"I would never," I feigned innocence. She scoffed. "And your return to school was conditional. You'll see Carlisle at my house tomorrow, so no hospital, by the way. Esme is very excited to meet you too." I had told Carlisle that Bella hated actually going to the hospital, so he agreed to see her in his medical office at our home. Esme was thrilled to find out she was finally going to meet Bella. Everyone, with the exception of Rosalie, had met and loved Bella. I knew Esme already loved Bella just because she brought me happiness I hadn't known in the last century.

"And the others? Do they approve?" She sounded nervous.

"Everyone really liked you. Esme and Carlisle are both happy that I'm happy. Rosalie is conflicted. Nothing for you to worry about, I mostly ignore her."

"Does this have to do with what Emmett said the other day? I meant to ask you about it. You looked kind of upset."

Of course she noticed, very little went past her.

I sighed, "It was nothing. Just Emmett needing to mind his own business."

Actually everyone had their own opinions on what I should do. Even if they didn't voice them, everyday their thoughts were getting louder. Rosalie remained conflicted, she struggled the most with what we were, but she agreed the decision should belong to Bella. Alice's visions were changing constantly, but there were still only 2 options: Bella becoming one of us, or Bella's untimely death. It was becoming clearer, Bella's death would destroy Charlie and myself, it ended with me in Italy in front of the Volturi.

Each passing day Alice grew more frantic swearing she would tell Bella herself in her fear of losing both Bella and myself. The other vision was nicer, Bella and I getting to be together without the cruel constraints of time, but what if Bella didn't want that? Everyday Carlisle lectured me on how I wouldn't know unless we had an actual serious conversation about the future.

"Bella?" She looked up at me. My train of thought had only taken a second. "Have you ever thought about marriage?"

She looked incredibly confused, I chuckled, "Hypothetically."

"Well, hypothetically," she began, looking down at her hands. "Only in theory, I suppose. I saw it work out for my mother the second time around. Charlie, I don't know, he's never said anything to make me think one way or another."

Of course her answer revolved around everyone else, I had come to expect this from Bella. "I meant for you. You never saw yourself getting married someday?" I tried to keep my expression neutral. She started twisting her finger around the cannula, not pulling it, just twiddling with it.

She cleared her throat, "Um...no, I guess not." Her pensive expression remained. It drove me to the brink of insanity that I couldn't hear what she was thinking.

"All those Austen novels, and you never saw yourself marrying?" I chuckled. Her heart beat slightly faster.

"Honestly?" She asked, clearly not wanting to tell me. I nodded, getting a little impatient.

"I never saw it in the cards for me. I didn't think I'd make it that long." I could feel my heart breaking for Bella. She had told me that her health struggles had begun when she was a child, and unlike most children who dream about what the future would hold, she maintained a realistic disposition. "Sorry, that was morbid."

I shook my head, her hand still in mine, "I always want to know what you're thinking."

"Well, right now, I'm wondering what you're thinking. It's an unusual line of questioning today."

I laughed, I was thinking about what life would be like with Bella in it forever, but this was a difficult conversation to have all at once.

"I was thinking that I made a promise to Alice. To talk you into going to prom? It's this weekend already." I wanted to change the subject.

"I know you're changing the subject, but I'll allow it. Like I told Alice, I'm not really a school dance person, or dancing at all person."

"And like I told you it's all in the leading," I teased. "So are you telling me if I asked you, you'll say no?"

"And I can't play the cancer card?" She asked, I shook my head.

"Then I would probably say yes."

"Interesting." We were already pulling on to Bella's street. "So, Bella? Would you do me the great honor of going to prom with me?" I was rubbing circles on the back of her hand, her heart once again beating faster.

"Wow, that was completely unexpected," she said sarcastically, making me laugh. She sighed, "Yes, I'll go with you."

"Your excitement is palpable," I laughed.

"I'm sure it is," she mumbled. We pulled up to her house. I once again got out, opened her door, and helped her with her oxygen tank. Charlie wasn't home yet. She sat at the kitchen table, she looked like she was lost in thought.

She pulled out her journal from the rolling backpack.

"You're carrying that around now?"

She smiled. "Well I can't run upstairs without running out of breath, so I carry it around."

This spoke so much of Bella's character, she knew I could easily get it for her, that I never physically tired, but she didn't want to bother me by asking. She started writing angling herself so I couldn't see. It was interesting watching her, she got so lost in whatever she was writing. After a minute, she looked up.

"You know, you don't have to watch me. Besides, don't you have homework to do?"

"I know I don't have to watch you, but you're so fascinating. And I also have all night to do whatever homework, although it will probably take me a few minutes tops."

"Showoff," she muttered under her breath. "How about you do your homework, and let me finish, and I'll let you ask me some more questions, not about the journal?"

"Hmm. You drive a hard bargain, how about I'll do my homework, help you with yours, and you answer my questions about the journal?" I bargained.

"I think you're a better negotiator than I am," she admitted begrudgingly.

"You're too much of a people pleaser, that's why," I said giving her a quick kiss. She smiled at my affection.

"You have yourself a deal," I laughed. I took a little extra time with my homework and most of Bella's, occasionally sneaking a glance at Bella, she occasionally saw me staring and laughed. I loved listening to her laugh, especially when I made her laugh, it was one of my favorite sounds in the world.